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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29450085">everybody wonders what it would be like to love you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennycaakes/pseuds/jennycaakes'>jennycaakes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Check Please! (Webcomic)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Arranged dating, Drinking, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Inspired by Black Mirror, M/M, Science Fiction, Sharing a Bed, Smoking, Smut, arranged matching, cool tech, dating system, happy valentine's day everyone!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:41:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>81,265</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29450085</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennycaakes/pseuds/jennycaakes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The System is just the way of life. No one knows how they got here, or what it will look like when they leave, but this is how it is. They enter the System, they're assigned a Match, the Match Expires, and the cycle repeats. </p><p>Until the Ultimate Match is found. Then you get to leave, and they say you get to love.</p><p>But Derek thinks love is a little more complicated than that - and he keeps matching with Will, who trusts that this is how the System is supposed to be. Will they ever find their Ultimate Matches?</p><p> </p><p>/black mirror: hang the dj inspired au</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Derek "Nursey" Nurse/William "Dex" Poindexter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>122</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hey everyone!! </p><p>this is a black mirror: hang the dj inspired au, which means ultimately this is a sci-fi fic. weird! i've had A LOT of fun writing and have literally been working on it forever, so i hope you like it! the system works a little different than the episode, but it's pretty much the same. small tweaks here and there for overall effect. like i said, it's a hang the dj ~inspired~ au, not taken directly from the episode! so mechanics will be a little different. you don't have to have seen the episode to understand the fic so no worries there. </p><p>system expiry reads DAY:HOUR:MINUTE:SECOND and eliminates ## when that time is gone</p><p>happy valentine's day and happy birthday nursey!! i love all y'all and this lovely darling fandom. i hope you enjoy this fic that is lots of filler of these two dumbasses falling in love</p><p>ps - yes absolutely the title from gold rush (i love you taylor i ain't ever gonna stop lovin you taylor)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>MATCH COUNT</strong>
</p><p>Will: 2 | Derek: 3</p><p> </p><p>Finally, it was a new restaurant. </p><p>This was Derek’s third Match and both of the first two had been at the same place, some restaurant on the 5th floor, but this at least was new. It was obviously still in the Hub but his Coach device was sending him up a few more levels, the ride on the elevator feeling much longer than usual.</p><p>“Are you sure?” he asked.</p><p>“<em>The System is never wrong.” </em></p><p>Coach—a small white disk-like device that could fit into Derek’s pocket—was his guide to navigating the System. Its voice was warm and feminine and its main purpose was to direct Derek to his next Match, but could also answer inquiries. At the start of every Match, Coach would reveal how long the Match would go on, and then from there count down until the Match was over. After that, the cycle would repeat. </p><p>At the end he’d find his Ultimate Match—or well, the System would find it for him—and then he could leave this place with his person like he was supposed to. </p><p>That was how the System worked. </p><p>He couldn’t remember how he got into the System exactly, or what leaving this place actually looked like, but Coach said trust the System and Derek wanted to find his Ultimate Match. So here he was, three Matches in, ready for a real connection and trying his damned hardest to <em>trust the System</em>. </p><p>Coach led him to a booth and Derek was disappointed to see he was the first to arrive. He set his device on the table and scanned the restaurant, not sure what he was looking for. </p><p>He was excited for another Match. Though his first two were short in length, Derek felt like he was finally getting a hold on the System. It was confusing to go from knowing nothing about how things worked to literally living it, but he was doing the best he could. </p><p>Besides, he wanted his Ultimate Match. </p><p>“Are you Derek?” </p><p>On the table Coach lit up. “<em>Match confirmed</em>.”</p><p>“Hey,” Derek greeted the man at the edge of the booth. “Yeah, that’s me.”</p><p>“I’m Will,” he responded. Will slid into the booth slowly, his face neutral as he studied Derek across from him. Will was handsome, his face dotted with freckles like an ink pen had exploded and his eyes golden like a jar of honey. </p><p>“Been in the System long?” Derek asked. </p><p>Will shuffled uncomfortably. “Not really,” he admitted. </p><p>“Oh, me neither,” Derek rushed. He was still getting the hang of this whole Match thing but he didn’t want Will to feel uncomfortable. If they were both new to it then they could bumble their way through together. “You’re my third.”</p><p>“Second,” Will told him, some of the tension in his shoulders dissipating.</p><p>Alright, nice. So they were both still beginners. Derek preferred it that way. One of his previous Matches had up to 20 Matches and Derek honestly felt a little out of his depths. Thankfully it was short, but if he was really going to Match with someone for a while he’d prefer them to be sort of in the same boat with the logistics of it all.</p><p>“Well,” Will said. “Should we check?”</p><p>Despite the excitement to Match with someone new, there were still a lot of nerves. Coach told him that every encounter was meaningful, that the System was always learning no matter how brief the pairings were, but Derek didn’t want another 12 hour Match again. Having two back to back right after entering the System, he was already feeling drained. He wanted to be with someone, to <em>know </em>them. </p><p>Derek reached for his Coach and watched as Will prepared to check the Expiry on his device, too. </p><p>“Ready,” Derek told him. </p><p>Coach hummed in Derek’s hand and the screen shifted from white until the Expiry appeared. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>One Week</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Across from him, Will blinked in surprise while Derek exhaled in relief. </p><p>“Oh,” Will said.</p><p>“Oh?” </p><p>“It’s—shorter than my last one,” Will explained. </p><p>The nerves started creeping back into Derek’s stomach, cool and unwanted. He sat up a little taller to ask, “How long was that?” </p><p>“Six weeks,” Will told him. He settled into his seat and eyed Derek carefully, like he was re-assessing him. “What about yours?”</p><p>Derek hesitated. But—that was the whole point of the System. To be himself, be honest. Find someone really worthy of the truest version of himself. </p><p>“I had two 12 hours back to back.”</p><p>“Oh.” Will’s eyes narrowed slightly. “That seems... short?” </p><p>“Yeah.” A waiter came by to take their orders and Derek was grateful he’d been there early enough to peruse the menu. “Six weeks,” he said once the waiter had left. “Did that seem long?” </p><p>Will shrugged, reaching for his glass to take a drink of water. “No point of reference.” </p><p>“Oh, yeah, sure, sure.” </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>06:07:43:02</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>By the time Will’s last Match had ended, he’d already gotten in such a good rhythm that he’d forgotten how difficult it was at the beginning. </p><p>The System scared the shit out of him. </p><p>He’d heard of it growing up and knew he’d be part of it one day but he’d never really been <em>prepared </em>for it. Like everyone else he couldn’t quite remember how he’d ended up here, or what the world looked like After, but he knew at the end of it he’d have an Ultimate Match. </p><p>It wasn’t like he could opt-out of all of this. </p><p>Derek was not what Will was expecting.</p><p>Will’s last Match, his <em>first </em>Match, had been with a man who was soft spoken and kind. They had enough time that they could feel each other out slowly, that Will never felt pressured to open up before he was ready.</p><p>What the fuck was he supposed to do with a week? He couldn’t speed-run this shit.</p><p>Derek was currently on the couch across from him rambling about why <em>Romeo and Juliet</em> actually was <em>so tragic</em> and how more modern interpretations had caused a whole slew of untrue and unnecessary critique and Will just… didn’t care. He wasn’t listening.</p><p><em>Everything happens for a reason in the System</em>, he thought. </p><p>The System scared the shit out of him, but he trusted it. He had to. Coach told him to and what other option did he have? Any reach into his mind for something deeper felt like hitting a wall.</p><p>They made it through their first night with limited conversation, Derek always looking at Will like he was trying to unravel him. It was unsettling—Will didn’t like the idea that someone could look at him and sense how he was feeling. Especially someone he didn’t know. It wasn’t like he was this great Open Book. </p><p>They tentatively shared a bed—it was standard protocol. If someone felt too uncomfortable they could always sleep on the couch but the bed was big enough that they had enough space, so Will didn’t mind. </p><p>He hopped out of bed quickly in the morning and made coffee for them to share but Derek didn’t climb out of bed for another few hours at least. By then Will had already had his breakfast and was trying to figure out the best way to spend his day. The pot was still warm so Derek poured himself a mug and sat down at the couch; Will had stationed himself nearby at the coffee table with a puzzle.</p><p>“Morning,” Derek greeted warmly. “Coffee’s great.”</p><p>“Thanks.” Will hadn’t quite finished the border of the puzzle yet but he was nearly there. “Sleep okay?” he asked without looking up.</p><p>“Oh, totally,” Derek said. “The beds here are wicked comfy, I feel like I could sleep all day.”</p><p>“Hm.”</p><p>Derek smiled into his next sip. “So you’re an early riser, then.” He nodded slowly. “Cool, cool. Nothing wrong with that.”</p><p>“Nothing wrong with that?” Will echoed incredulously, looking up. “You’re right. There’s nothing wrong with starting my day at a reasonable hour.”</p><p>Derek’s eyebrows crept up his face. “Are you insinuating 9am is not a reasonable hour for me to start my day?” he wondered. “Trust me, I could’ve slept much longer.”</p><p>“Maybe you should’ve.”</p><p>Derek exhaled a quiet, startled breath, and even Will felt a little guilty at his sharp remark. “Well that’s no fun,” he said quietly. Will looked back down to the puzzle, his eyes scanning the pieces without really looking at them. This week was going to be unbearable. “I figured we could, you know. Get to know each other. Hang out.” </p><p>“We could go to a movie,” Will suggested.</p><p>Derek’s mouth pulled to the side. “Can’t really get to know each other during a movie,” he returned.  </p><p>That was kind of the point. Will didn’t need to get to know someone he only had a week with.</p><p>“I’ll let you pick the movie,” he offered.</p><p>Derek’s face flashed with something Will couldn’t really read before it settled on neutrality. “Okay,” Derek said. </p><p>He drew out his Coach device and started looking through movie listings at the Hub, reading out a few to Will who legitimately did not care what kind of movie they ended up seeing so long as it would keep Derek quiet, before they settled on a romantic comedy. </p><p>Perhaps noticing the shift in air between the two of them, Derek started toning himself back. He returned to the kitchen, out of sight from the nook Will had set up his puzzle, to make himself breakfast, and then retreated back into the bedroom to shower. Will focused on his puzzle, asking Coach to put on some music so the Pod wasn’t terribly quiet while he worked. </p><p>When Derek returned he must have noticed the mood and decided to keep up with it, grabbing a book from the shelf and heading to the back porch to read for a bit. He ducked his head in to ask if Will wanted to get lunch beforehand, so they left early to go to the Hub for something to eat. </p><p>“Have you explored the Hub a lot?” Derek wondered as they entered. </p><p>The building itself was gigantic. Fifty stories high and wide enough to take up at least a dozen city blocks. It was overwhelming in a lot of ways so Will actually did his best to avoid the Hub other than when Coach directed him there for his initial Match.</p><p>There were hundreds of restaurants and shops and activities to choose from; bowling, laser tag, courts for sports, the list was endless. </p><p>“Not really,” Will admitted. “Have you?” </p><p>Derek shrugged, shaking his head slightly. “Nah, not yet. It’s like—where do you even start?” </p><p>Will wasn’t sure if it was a rhetorical question or not but either way, he didn’t answer it. </p><p>The movie was fine. It was something about spies and Derek laughed a few times but Will was too distracted to really lose himself in it. The plot had a few twists that Will couldn’t really follow and he wasn’t sure if it was because he wasn’t paying enough attention or because it actually didn’t make sense. </p><p>After it was over they stopped on another level to get ice cream before making their way back to their Pod. Derek suggested walking, and since Will was trying to kill time he figured it would be alright to take the long way. As they ate their cones—strawberry for Derek and mint chocolate chip for Will—they made their way down the long concrete path in silence. </p><p>Will should’ve known it wouldn’t last long.</p><p>“You’ve been quiet today,” Derek said softly. They were far enough away from the Pod that calling a Cart would take some time and they still had a bit left until their Pod, so Will should’ve anticipated the nudge. Derek’s tone was measured, like he was trying to tread carefully, and all that did was make Will feel more frustrated. “Are you… okay?” </p><p>“I’m fine.” </p><p>Derek nodded but silence followed instead of what seemed to be his customary rambling about nothing. Will waited for him to make another comment on what they’d just watched but Derek remained silent, sliding his hands into his back pockets as they slowly made their way back to their Pod. </p><p>Neither of them spoke until their Pod was back in sight. </p><p>“I think I’m gonna take a walk,” Will announced.</p><p>Derek’s eyebrows lifted. “Yeah?” He glanced over his shoulder. “Was that one not long enough for you?” </p><p>Will looked straight ahead to say, “Alone.” </p><p>Slowly, Derek stopped walking. Will took a deep breath and steeled himself for whatever conversation they were about to have, knowing the look on Derek’s face wasn’t a good one. </p><p>“Did I do something?” Derek asked slowly. </p><p>Will folded his arms over his chest, exhausted. “I just—need some space, okay?” </p><p>“We barely even spent the day together.”</p><p>“We only have a week,” Will shot back with more fire than intended. “What’s it even matter?”</p><p>“Oh.” Will turned, surprised at how much seeing the hurt on Derek’s face actually made his own chest ache. “Wow. Okay, I get it.” </p><p>Immediately, Will threw up a wall taller than the one that surrounded them in this place. “Get what?” he demanded. </p><p>“No—it’s chill,” Derek said, voice wavering a little. His eyes had widened and he stood at length now, on guard. “You can have the Pod for a bit if you need space. I can... crash on the couch.”</p><p>It felt as though someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over Will’s head. All he wanted was a walk by himself, why was Derek going on about sleeping on the couch? “What the hell are you talking about?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“What?” Will pushed back, angrier. </p><p>Derek’s calm was getting under his skin. “You don’t think a week is enough time,” he answered, slowly. “You just said it yourself. So—you take the Pod.” He took a step backwards, eyebrows furrowed together sadly while Will took in his words. “I’ll be back later tonight.” </p><p>Will couldn’t move. “Derek,” he started, but Derek didn’t wait around to hear anything else. He turned and strode away from where they’d both paused, shaking his head as he went, not even looking over his shoulder once he’d started on his way. </p><p>Still, Will didn’t return to the Pod right away. He had anxious energy now festering inside of him and he turned, marching off the opposite direction on a longer walk of his own. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>Derek found himself at the edge of a lake.</p><p>Will’s words had hit him with more force than he’d expected. Derek had noticed right away that Will seemed tense, unsure, but he was willing to write it off as adjusting to the System. </p><p>But the System told them that all Matches were important. The System said no matter the length, all Matches had meaning. It was fine if Will wasn’t feeling their energy, or whatever. Not all Matches needed to be perfect or life changing. But he didn’t have to be a dick about it. </p><p>He drew Coach out of his pocket and looked down at the screen. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>05:21:43:31</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“Coach?” The numbers faded to indicate that it was listening. “Am I…” Derek sighed, “doing this wrong?”</p><p>“<em>There is no wrong to be done. You are simply being yourself.” </em></p><p>Derek’s eyes welled with tears. “Am I ever gonna get a Match that doesn’t feel kind of like shit?” he asked. </p><p>Two twelve hour Matches with people that Derek couldn’t actually spend time getting to know, one week long Match with an asshole that didn’t want anything to do with him. As Derek literally the only common factor, how could he not assume that things going poorly was his fault?</p><p>“<em>Everything happens for a reason.</em>”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” Derek muttered. He reached up, swatting at his tears. “Ultimate Match.” </p><p>Was that the point of the System? For dozens of Matches of awful just to find something good? Did Derek really want to suffer through all of that for the promise of something he wasn’t even sure existed?</p><p>For the first time since he’d entered the System, Derek had a thought that rang clear and true.</p><p>He didn’t trust the System. He couldn’t. Shouldn’t people fall in love on their own? They say it was harder <em>before </em>the System was created, but at least it was free. At least they could make the mess on their own volition—not be subjected to it beyond their will.</p><p>Derek skipped a stone across the pond and sighed. Four skips before it sank. </p><p>“How do I get out of here?” he murmured.</p><p><em>“As a participant in the System you will partake in Matching until your Ultimate Match is determined. Once your Ultimate Match has been determined you will no longer be a participant in the System.</em>” </p><p>“Can I get out of here <em>before </em>that?”</p><p>“<em>Failure to cooperate with the System results in Expulsion from the System.” </em></p><p>Derek frowned. He didn’t even know what that meant. </p><p>“Could I just… leave?” he asked. </p><p>There was a stone wall on the outer edges of this place—but beyond it Derek couldn’t be sure what was there. A place that connected him back to the Before—or maybe one that took him to the After. The System wasn’t forever—there was someplace out there once all of this was finished. A ladder stretched up one side of it, easy enough to climb over. There were mountains Derek could see—also some woods. </p><p>Were there others? Is that where you were sent if you’d been <em>Expelled</em>? </p><p>“<em>There is no where to go.”</em></p><p>Comforting. </p><p>Derek sighed, leaning backwards into the grass to stare up at the sky. After a while he asked Coach what time it was and hearing it was well after midnight Derek decided to pack it up and head back to his Pod. The couch was big and comfortable, just like the bed, so he didn’t think he would mind sleeping on it, but if he did he could always relocate and find a nice field or something. </p><p>He’d spent most of the night looking at the sky trying to identify even a single constellation, but he couldn’t seem to recognize any of the ones in the sky. When his eyelids grew heavy Derek gathered himself, sliding his Coach back into his pocket and slowly lumbering back toward his Pod. </p><p>He’d expected to find it quiet, all of the lights off and Will already tucked into bed, but upon opening the door he found his Match sitting in the living room with a book. Derek entered slower then, watching Will as he toed off his shoes by the entryway. Will watched him, too. </p><p>“Hi,” Derek greeted softly. </p><p>Will tucked his bookmark into the paperback he had and closed it, nodding his head. “Goodnight,” he responded. </p><p>Derek frowned, but whatever. “Night,” he called back. </p><p>He was too sleepy to get into it. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>05:01:40:24</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Will and Derek had not spoken since Will’s outburst the day before, and Will felt like a dick but also didn’t super appreciate the cold shoulder in return. The System took some getting used to, alright? Will was a heavily introverted dude, he wasn’t used to spending so much time with one other person. </p><p>He needed some alone time—an adjustment period. Derek was loud, extroverted, overwhelming. It was like the sun had materialized in Will’s Pod and he needed to figure out how to keep himself from getting burned.</p><p>Maybe he overreacted. </p><p>But a Match was a Match. It’d be over soon enough and he could try again. If every Match the System made was for a reason, it probably would have anticipated this. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>04:08:14:22</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Sleeping on the couch had a handful of disadvantages. It was comfortable, sure, but Will was always up early and the open set-up of the Pod didn’t allow for much privacy or sleeping in. Derek <em>loved </em>sleeping in—especially now that he was killing time intentionally. </p><p>Last night Derek had gotten in a little later than the previous night, wandering farther than his Pod than he’d realized and struggling to find it on the way back. He’d gotten in a fight with Coach after finishing off a bottle of wine that he’d packed for himself and was trying to avoid using the device if he could help it. </p><p>Eventually his path cleared almost on its own and Derek found himself stumbling back inside his Pod finding a startled, tired Will on the couch. Derek used the door frame to hold himself up and offered Will a smile, still trying to make peace where he could but also <em>decidedly </em>drunk.  </p><p>“Jesus,” Will exhaled. He stood quickly and hurried over to Derek, helping him stand and enter their Pod more stable than he first arrived. “Looks like you had a nice night.”</p><p>“The lake was <em>beautiful</em>,” Derek told him with a smile. </p><p>“Here, sleep in the bed tonight,” Will murmured. “You need it.”</p><p>Derek shrugged him off of him once he’d finished using Will to keep his balance to kick his shoes off and frowned. “No way.”</p><p>“Dude.”</p><p>“<em>No</em>,” Derek said firmly. “I’m fine.” </p><p>Derek heard Will exhale tiredly but he didn’t care. It wasn’t easy but he made his way to the couch in one piece without falling completely to the ground. With a sigh of his own Derek collapsed on the couch and closed his eyes for a few moments, telling himself that once Will was gone he’d collect himself and ready for bed. </p><p>He was tired. Living like this wasn’t <em>fun</em>. </p><p>Once Derek heard the bedroom door shut he opened his heavy eyes and turned his head to find a glass of water on the coffee table with an aspirin beside it. He pushed himself up on his elbows and looked toward their bedroom but it was closed, just as he’d heard, Will nowhere in sight. </p><p>With a smile, he reached over for the medicine and finished off the glass before falling back down with his eyes closed.</p><p>In the morning, Will didn’t spare him because he’d been out drinking. He was up early as always, puttering around the kitchen enough to make noise that would pull Derek from his slumber. He should’ve taken the offer the night before for the room—that way he could’ve shut the blinds and the door and slept well past noon. </p><p>“Seriously?” Derek called out, voice scratchy from sleep. “You couldn’t have given me like, an hour more?”</p><p>Will’s voice was muted from the kitchen. “I offered you the room.”</p><p>Asshole. </p><p>But after that, it did get quiet again. At least for a little bit. Derek dipped in and out of a fuzzy gray slumber until the noise picked up again. </p><p>Will’s voice startled him awake again. “You asleep?”</p><p>“Hardly.” He should probably just get up. Derek sighed, shifting on the couch a little bit so it was easier to push himself up. “You don’t have to wait up for me,” Derek said sleepily, rubbing his eyes as he sat up. </p><p>“Well don’t stay out so late and I won’t have to,” Will grumbled. </p><p>Derek heard the sound of a plate settling down and finally opened his eyes to find a delicious looking breakfast sliding onto the table in front of him. Immediately, his stomach grumbled. Derek turned to look at Will and found him back at the kitchen, loading up the washer with what he could only assume to be the dishes he used to eat breakfast earlier. </p><p>“Thanks,” Derek called. Will glanced over his shoulder, but only briefly. “Smells sooo good,” he added as he moved toward the plate. </p><p>“I hate cooking for one,” Will told him. Derek glanced up again and found that Will had turned, leaning back against the counter so he could watch Derek from across the Pod. The way theirs was set up had a huge open concept that exposed the kitchen and the living room—which was why it was hard to block out the noise. “Where do you go?” he asked. </p><p>Derek lifted his hand to cover his mouth as he swallowed a huge bite of omelette. “Hm?” </p><p>“At night.” </p><p>“Wherever,” Derek told him once he’d finished his bite. “Wander the grounds, mostly. Hey, you make any coffee?” Will’s frown deepened but—whatever, the dude had already made him breakfast. Figure he could ask about coffee. Thankfully Will didn’t say anything but turned to ready him a mug. “Thanks, man,” Derek said, grateful. “Yeah, it’s a weird place. Have you explored much?”</p><p>“No.” </p><p>Derek cut himself another bite. “We could go together, if you wanted.”</p><p>Will glanced over his shoulder, eyebrows still pulled together a little bit. “You want cream?”</p><p>“Yeah, just a splash would be great.” He dug into the rest of the omelette while Will brought over the mug, setting it on the table beside the plate before returning to his spot by the counter. Derek smiled at him before he took a drink but Will’s face remained neutral, cold. “So exploring?” </p><p>“How’s it a weird place?”</p><p>Derek shrugged, not really sure how to explain. “I feel like even if I set out to go to the same place I always end up somewhere new. The trails don’t really… stay.”</p><p>Will’s frown returned, small. “Okay.” </p><p>Derek took another bite. “So I’m guessing that’s a no.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Derek brightened. “Yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah—it’s a no.”</p><p>With a sigh, Derek took another bite, dramatically shoving his fork into his mouth. He wanted to grumble some more but the omelette was seriously delicious. “Thanks for this,” Derek said after swallowing. “I mean, Will it’s really good.” </p><p>“You sound surprised.”</p><p>He was. He didn’t think assholes could also have talent. Most of the dicks he knew outside all of this were frauds, all the way to their core. Instead of dragging it out more Derek took another bite. He didn’t want to fight with Will so not speaking to him was probably the best course of action.</p><p>Once he’d gotten through most of the dish he took a deep breath, unable to keep quiet. “Look…” Derek set his fork down for a moment, looking to the man across the room. “You don’t have to take care of me.”</p><p>Will looked surprised to hear him say that. “So then don’t come back here needing taken care of.” </p><p>“I didn’t,” Derek said calmly. Will folded his arms over his chest. “I appreciate it,” he added, trying to keep his tone light. “The breakfast. The water last night. But you don’t have to do it. Like if you feel obligated, or—I don’t know, guilty about—”</p><p>“Don’t even,” Will cut him off with an eye roll. “Message received.” </p><p>“Oh my god you are so impossible,” Derek muttered. He returned to his omelette with another deep sigh, shaking his head, already thinking about what wine to try that night. </p><p>There was silence for only a moment before Will asked, “What do you think the System learns about you in that state?” </p><p>Derek felt a wall go up at once. </p><p>“What?” he demanded. “Who gives a shit?” There wasn’t any way to <em>be </em>in the System. “The System’s about being myself,” Derek said seriously. His chest was suddenly tight with anger—how dare Will think he have the right to come here and judge him. “If I want to get drunk and walk around a lake then that’s that. I’m not pretending to be somebody I’m not—that’s not the point of this. The System’ll work it all out like it’s supposed to.” </p><p>What the hell did Will think this was? </p><p>You couldn’t wear a mask in the System or you’d end up with someone who was wearing a mask too. Derek was being himself. That was it.</p><p>“Okay,” Will said.</p><p>Derek didn’t know what else to say to get Will to understand. Maybe Will wasn’t capable of understanding. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>03:02:02:45</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“Not everyone’s gonna have as much time as you.” </p><p>Will looked up from his puzzle finding Derek standing in the doorway, cradling a mug of tea in his hands. Will sat up, shifting his attention toward the man and waiting for him to say something else. Instead, Derek nursed his tea, looking toward the puzzle as though asking if he could join. When Will nodded, he crossed the room to take the empty seat at the table. </p><p>Derek put a piece in place almost immediately. </p><p>Will leaned back, propping himself up on his elbow on the edge of the table where the puzzle didn’t reach. </p><p>Will decided to break the silence. “I just needed some space,” he said carefully. </p><p>Derek reached across the table to grab another piece and then moved, easily popping it into its spot in the puzzle. He glanced up briefly before reaching for another and asked, “Is that your apology?” </p><p>“No, I—” Will stopped as Derek looked up again. He folded his arms over his chest, feeling defensive. “I don’t have to apologize because you misunderstood me and reacted poorly.” </p><p>Derek snorted, looking toward the puzzle again. “You are such a treat.”</p><p>“Why even come over here if you’re just gonna be a dick?” Will snapped. </p><p>“No offense but I’m not being a dick. Maybe you <em>misunderstood me</em>.” Will tightened his arms around him as Derek fitted another piece into place before looking up again, slowly lifting his mug for another long drink of tea. “So then what did you mean?” Derek asked then, refusing to look away.</p><p>Will didn’t understand. “What?” </p><p>“If I misunderstood you that night.” </p><p>Will scoffed. “Don’t be a dick,” he said again.</p><p>“How is asking for an explanation being a dick?” Derek asked desperately. The hitch in his voice caught Will’s attention and when Will looked up to meet his eyes he found that same shattered look in Derek’s eyes from the night of their fight. “Help me understand,” he pleaded. </p><p>Easing his grip around himself, Will sighed. They sat in silence for a moment, Derek just looking at him while Will tried piecing together some sort of response that was actually worth something. </p><p>“I just—needed some space,” Will said again once he was able to. Once his eyes were back on the puzzle it was easier to answer honestly. “I don’t know how you took that as needing to sleep on the couch.”</p><p>“Because it wasn’t just space,” Derek said after a beat. “You said we only had a week. So spending time together didn’t matter. I don’t like sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t have interest in having me there.” Will felt his shoulders sag as he heard his own words translated back to him with a dash of guilt mixed in. Derek wasn’t <em>completely </em>wrong—but he also wouldn’t have minded sleeping beside him. “I just wanted to say that not everyone’s gonna have as much time as you. To me, a <em>week…</em>” he trailed off, shaking his head a little. “I would’ve loved to get to know you this week,” he settled with. </p><p>Will frowned, feeling a little bad. He remembered briefly at the start of this that Derek mentioned his previous Matches had been short.</p><p>He was still new to this. Derek was only his second Match, and Will still hadn’t really learned how to share space with someone else. He needed more time to be comfortable with them before opening up; a week long Match felt pointless in so many ways. He didn’t need to invest time here. Derek was a stepping stone to the Ultimate Match. </p><p>But the System <em>was</em> always learning. Maybe next time Will would be paired with someone who could respect personal space. Someone who could sit in comfortable silence. Someone who wouldn’t look at Will and make him feel inferior for a dozen reasons. </p><p>Maybe his next Match would last longer. That was really what he needed if he wanted to start breaking down walls with people.</p><p>“I’ll keep that in mind,” Will said eventually. </p><p>Derek sighed, his shoulders dropping just a little bit. He nodded once, accepting this as the end of their conversation, and left Will to work on the puzzle alone. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>18:42:12</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>The final night of their Match brought about a tension in the air that Derek didn’t quite understand. Since the night Derek joined Will at the puzzle, they’d spent the remainder of their Match keeping to themselves. Derek continued to sleep on the couch while Will continued to cook meals without saying anything, and at night when Derek left for his standard stroll around the System, Will let him.</p><p>Derek’s days had been filled with books by the lake or naps on the back porch. It wasn’t the most meaningful Match but he was trying to stay positive, ready for whatever the System brought him next. </p><p>But it was their final night and Derek was staying in. </p><p>Will darted from room to room uncomfortably, avoiding the living room where Derek sat tucked on the couch with another paperback. Every time he looked up Will was looking at him—only to quickly glance away once he’d been spotted. He lingered nearby like he was just waiting for something to happen.</p><p>“Dude.” Derek couldn’t take the silence anymore. He lowered his book. “What’s up?”</p><p>Will made a sound of surprise. “What?”</p><p>“You’re being weird.”</p><p>“No I’m not.”</p><p>“Yes,” Derek said. “You literally are.” </p><p>Will huffed, folding his arms over his chest. “You’re being weird,” he countered. Derek looked down at the book in his hands with a frown, unsure how sitting in silence and reading his book would constitute as weird. At least he was keeping his mouth shut instead of pestering Will with more bothersome questions. “Don’t you normally—go on walks by now, or something?” </p><p>Derek couldn’t believe this guy. Was he seriously just waiting for Derek to leave the Pod so he could have it to himself?</p><p>“You’ve got me less than 24 hours. You can handle me staying in for a night.”</p><p>“That wasn’t what I meant,” Will muttered immediately. He disappeared then, busying himself in the kitchen as indicated by the sounds that filled the Pod. </p><p>Derek rolled his eyes and returned to his book. Like Will said, he’d spent most nights this week exploring, but it was their last night in the Pod and Derek was tired of running away. There was a small, stupid part of him that was hopeful Will would apologize for how this Match went—it kept him rooted to the couch. He could always explore more next Match, and maybe his Match would even want to explore with him.</p><p>Eventually Will returned to the living room and he had two cups of tea. Derek eyed him as he entered, lowering his book again. </p><p>“It’s valerian root,” Will told him, slowly extending one mug in Derek’s direction. </p><p>Hesitantly, he leaned forward to accept it. “Thanks.” He blew on his drink for a moment before taking a small sip. “Sorry if you wanted the Pod to yourself tonight.”</p><p>Will’s eyebrows pulled together a little as he settled down on the other end of the couch, out of reach of Derek. “No?”</p><p>“You seemed eager for me to be gone, is all.” </p><p>“No,” Will said again, not a question this time. He took a drink of his own tea, wrinkling his nose a little after swallowing as though not a fan of the taste. This brought a smile to Derek’s face. “I just wasn’t expecting you to be around.”</p><p>“Should we debrief?” Derek teased. </p><p>Will’s frown deepened. “Not necessary.”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Derek said after blowing on his drink again. “I think maybe you would benefit from it.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Derek took another drink and shook his head a little, more amused than anything else. He didn’t understand Will and he knew with less than 24 hours to go his chances of actually figuring him out were slim to none. All he hoped was that this man figured out how to communicate sooner or later, because he was seriously going to need that if he ever wanted to find his Ultimate Match. </p><p>“What’d you do at the end of your last Match?” Derek asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.</p><p>Will’s eyes shot elsewhere and he shrugged. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Did you make sweet, sensual love?” Derek pushed. “Did you sit in silence and not acknowledge it? Give me something, man.” </p><p>Will shook his head a little, shrugging again. “We said goodbye. That was it.”</p><p>“You spent how long with the guy?” Derek wondered. “And all you did was… say goodbye?”</p><p>“Yep.” Will drank some of his own tea and Derek couldn’t help but think that maybe this man was a little sociopathic. “Matches end. That’s why the System is the way it is. That’s what the Expiry is <em>for</em>. So you don’t have to talk about it.” He looked over his glass at Derek and asked, “What did <em>you </em>do? Cry in each other’s arms?”</p><p>Was he actually joking with him or just being a dick? Derek would never know, but either way he was surprised that it brought another smile to his face. </p><p>“When they’re as short as mine were it’s a little less sentimental,” Derek told him. “I figured with six weeks it would be harder to just… say goodbye.” </p><p>Even just saying goodbye to Will would feel strange, Derek was sure. His other Matches he’d hugged tightly, kissed their cheeks or their hands. It felt special to have been Matched—ending that was a process for Derek. </p><p>“I’m glad we don’t have to figure out how to end this on our own,” Will grumped. Even though Derek hadn’t really been holding their Match in high esteem, it still stung to hear him say it say easily. He couldn’t understand why after everything Will still disliked him so much that he could be glad for it to be over.</p><p>Derek took another drink of tea and kept quiet. He didn’t know what to say. Eventually he asked, “You want to watch a movie?” </p><p>“Sure,” Will answered. </p><p>“You could pick this time,” Derek offered as he moved to put his book away. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>15:52</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>The two of them stood outside their Pod, not really looking at each other. </p><p>It had been a long week. Derek had been hoping to leave it feeling recharged and refreshed, excited about the possibility of his Ultimate Match. But here at the end of it, he mostly felt tired. </p><p>With their Match ticking down, the System would send two Carts to their Pod—one for each of them. They were supposed to be seated in the Cart before the timer ran down if they could be—and if not Coach would reprimand them with a message and remind them to hurry along. With just a few minutes left Derek could see their Carts arriving now, slowly chugging along one right behind the other. </p><p>From the Pod it would take them to the Singles Dormitory in the Hub but down two different routes, sure to keep them apart. Both of them would be assigned a new room that they would stay in until their next Match—whether that be hours or days varied and had no real rhyme or reason that Derek had been able to suss out yet. </p><p>He fiddled with his Coach and wondered when his next Match would come in. The last couple had been announced while he was in the Cart leaving his last Pod, barely enough time to make it back to a room in the Hub. Apparently some people spent a lot of time in the Singles Bunks waiting for their next Match to roll in but Derek wasn’t one of them. </p><p>For him it seemed to be Match after Match after Match. Only long enough for him to shower. </p><p>“Well good luck,” Derek finally said. He figured he should at least say something. It wasn’t the ending he wanted to this Match, but he couldn’t win them all.</p><p>Will arched an eyebrow at him. “Yeah, you too.” </p><p>They said nothing else before their Carts arrived—no final farewell or reluctant goodbye.</p><p>Derek hoped his next Match would be better.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>MATCH COUNT</strong>
</p><p>Will: 5 | Derek: 8</p><p> </p><p>It was a new day and Derek was positive this Match was going to bring about something good. </p><p>He’d had a full day in the Hub before his next Match had arrived from the one before which meant a real night of sleep, a long bubble bath, and a chance to stuff his face with his favorite burger joint that he’d found since he’d gotten here. </p><p>The System hadn’t been great for him so far but he was remaining hopeful. He knew his Ultimate Match wouldn’t be in the first handful of them, it rarely ever was. But all his life he’d grown up hearing about how wonderful the System was and how easy it had been. Derek was struggling to connect with some of his Matches and he always, always wished that he had more time with them. </p><p>He was as present as he could possibly be, making the most of every moment, desperate for them all to mean something in the end.</p><p>This time, Coach had led him to Waldo’s again.</p><p>“Maybe I can try everything on the menu,” Derek said as he browsed, wondering what it would sound like to get a chuckle out of Coach. He made himself laugh, at least.</p><p>He’d been to Waldo’s twice before and he didn’t see the point in finding a favorite dish. The menu was endless and full of options; he should always try something new. Already on his eighth Match Derek was looking for ways to keep variety into his routine in any way possible.</p><p><em>“There are too many items on the menu</em>. <em>You would never be able to try everything. Choose wisely.” </em></p><p>Derek hummed, surprised at this answer from Coach. </p><p>“How many items are on the menu?” Derek wondered.</p><p>
  <em>“Fifty eight. However due to the number of First Match restaurants in the Hub compared to the rate of Matches that will lead you here it is highly unlikely it could happen.”</em>
</p><p>“Thanks for the clarity,” Derek murmured. “Always a joy to dine with you, Coach.”</p><p>
  <em>“You’re welcome, Derek.” </em>
</p><p>He rolled his eyes but smiled, considering if maybe math was Coach’s way of joking. He looked up for a moment to pose his next question when instead he found himself frozen.</p><p>Will had just entered the restaurant. </p><p>He strode with purpose, his eyebrows furrowed as he held his Coach device close to his mouth, muttering something Derek couldn’t hope to hear from all the way across the room. Probably following directions to find the right table. </p><p>Derek watched him for a moment longer than he intended to. It had been about a month since their Match and once it had ended, Derek regretted how it had gone in a dozen ways. </p><p>He reflected back often, as he did with all his Matches, but his experience with Will stuck out more than others. He’d often wondered what more time with him would have yielded—or even less, like the majority of his other Matches. He’d considered a few different ways he could’ve broached certain situations, hoping it would help him in the future with some more stubborn Matches with similar prickly dispositions. There hadn’t been any yet, but maybe one day.</p><p>Surprisingly, seeing Will again made his chest feel warm. Not necessarily with joy, but there was a tangle of confusing feelings that left Derek feeling flushed. Ultimately, he wished the best for all of his previous Matches. Will included. </p><p>Besides, he’d thought Will was handsome the first time he’d seen him and—even in moments when they’d snapped at each other—Derek thought Will was fun to engage with. He’d been the first (and only) person that Derek encountered with an actual attitude so far. Everyone else seemed to be pretty passive and going along with the flow. Sometimes their personalities didn’t always vibe, but no one had been outright rude like Will had. </p><p>It was something different, at least.</p><p>Derek’s eyes trailed Will through the restaurant, watching him get closer and closer, until Will slowed down just by Derek’s still empty table. When his eyes found Derek’s, he startled. </p><p>For a moment, neither of them spoke. Derek blinked a few times and sat up a little taller when he saw Will had stopped at his table. </p><p>“Hi,” Derek eventually greeted.</p><p>Both of their devices spoke at the same time. </p><p>“<em>Match confirmed.” </em></p><p>Will’s eyes blew wide and he lingered at the edge of the table. “What are you doing here?” Will asked after a moment, voice thick. </p><p>Derek looked toward his menu briefly. “Trying to figure out what to order?” </p><p>Honestly, Derek was trying to mask his surprise as best he could. He’d expected a glimpse of Will from across the room, not a second Match with him. </p><p>It was clear that Will was struggling to figure out what to say. His eyebrows had drawn together with confusion and his cheeks had gone pale. </p><p>Coach had already confirmed their Match.</p><p>“Care to join me?” Derek wondered. </p><p>Will hesitated before slowly sliding into the seat across from Derek. “I didn’t know it would re-Match people,” he explained quietly. He did a double take, looking at Derek another time as though he wasn’t entirely convinced it was actually true they were Matched again. </p><p>“Well it’s nice to see you again,” Derek told him softly. </p><p>“It’s... nice to see you too.” </p><p>Derek counted that as a win. He smiled and propped his elbow up on the table, leaning into his hand while Will settled into his seat. </p><p>“What Match are you on?” Derek asked. “Have you caught up to me yet?”</p><p>“This is my fifth,” he said. </p><p>“So I’m still winning.”</p><p>Will arched an eyebrow. “What do you win?”</p><p>“Hopefully an Ultimate Match, no?” </p><p>“Let’s just check the Expiry,” Will muttered, sliding his Coach onto the table. Derek feigned interest in that idea and reached for his own device, feeling a little bummed. Clearly Will wanted to get this over with again. </p><p>After a few fights with little resolution, Derek had spent a majority of his last Match with Will at the Hub. He browsed bookstores and watched movies and did it alone, wondering why he couldn’t just have a normal fucking Match.</p><p>But since then he’d had a few more Matches, varying lengths of time, but none longer than a week. In that time Derek met people who laughed with him when he laughed, people who <em>wanted </em>to know him, people who also wished their time together was longer. He didn’t understand why the System would put him and Will together again, but Derek knew there were people out there worth his time. </p><p>If Will didn’t want to be one of them, then okay. There’d always be someone else. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>One Week</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“Getting deja vu,” Derek murmured. He couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed.  </p><p>What the fuck was the System doing? </p><p>“Well okay,” Will said slowly. Derek looked up, studying Will’s face for signs of anger and relieved when he found none. Just confusion. “This is unexpected. I really don’t know what to say now.” </p><p>Derek had to state the obvious. “Could be giving us a second chance.” Will scoffed. “Not like last time went super well,” Derek reminded him loudly. </p><p>Will’s ears turned red. “No shit.” He folded his arms over his chest. “And—no! Don’t go getting all…”</p><p>Derek looked up from his menu as Will trailed off, not sure what he was implying. “All…?” he prompted.</p><p>“Dirty minded,” Will rushed. “And—”</p><p>Immediately, Derek hooted with laughter, interrupting the rest of Will’s thought before he could finish it. “Oh,” he was breathless. “You wanna kiss me so bad,” he declared. </p><p>Will’s face had turned red now, too. “I do not!”</p><p>“I was not even <em>thinking </em>about that, dude! <em>You</em> are <em>clearly </em>the dirty minded one here.” </p><p>“I can’t believe you can’t skip Matches,” Will grumbled. </p><p>That only made Derek laugh harder. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>“I was kidding,” Derek said that night, lingering in the doorway of their bedroom. He’d given Will his space since they’d arrived in the Pod, heading right for the kitchen to make tea while Will retreated to see what the bedroom situation was like. Once he found their bed Will lowered himself to the edge of it with a sigh and hadn’t moved—that was where Derek found him. “Obviously. About—or well I wasn’t being... <em>dirty minded</em>.” </p><p>Will scoffed, folding his arms over his chest. He felt his face flame up at once, frustrated at how easily it was revealed he was embarrassed. </p><p>“Yes you are,” he muttered. “Your mind lives in the gutters, I know it.”</p><p>Derek grinned, mischievous. He’d been as loud as Will remembered ever since his laughing fit at dinner.</p><p>“Maybe so. But second chances don’t have to be inherently…” Will looked away before he could finish his sentence. “Just let me know if you need space,” Derek said after a moment. His voice had grown soft and sincere, and Will looked back in time to watch him swallow another drink of his tea. “I don’t wanna fight this time.” </p><p><em>Could be giving us a second chance</em>, Derek had said.</p><p>A second chance at what? At the end of the week, Derek would be gone again. </p><p>Still, he was being kind when Will didn’t really think he deserved it. He nodded, grateful, and Derek nodded back before disappearing back into the dark of their Pod.</p><p>“Derek—” he called after him, and Derek stopped, turning to look back in. Will hesitated, but he knew it was ridiculous to not say anything. “The bed’s huge,” Will murmured. “You don’t have to—I mean you <em>never </em>had to sleep on the couch.” </p><p>Derek’s eyes widened. “You sure?” </p><p>“Just don’t hog my blankets.” </p><p>He grinned, striding into the room. “Technically they’re <em>our </em>blankets, thank you very much.” </p><p>After setting his tea aside Derek dropped onto the bed like he owned it and his smile didn’t even flicker. It really was a big bed, but with Derek now beside him it felt much smaller. </p><p>“I’m gonna shower,” Will murmured.</p><p>He excused himself to the ensuite, thankful he still had Coach in his pocket. After starting the shower he pulled out the device, passing it between his hands, staring at the number that slowly counted down. </p><p>“Coach?” he whispered. The screen shifted to reveal it was listening. “What the hell?”</p><p>“<em>Inquiry not understood.” </em></p><p>“What’s with the double Match?” he elaborated. Even though he knew he was being quiet enough that Derek couldn’t possibly hear him, Will kept glancing over his shoulder, paranoid. “And Derek? Seriously?”</p><p>“<em>The System was created to find your Ultimate Match. Repeated Matches are one way in which the System can help to determine your Ultimate Match.”</em></p><p><em>“</em>And Derek?” Will repeated. “Why’d it have to be <em>him?”</em></p><p>
  <em>“Everything happens for a reason.” </em>
</p><p>Useless. </p><p>Will set his device aside and took as long as he possibly could in the shower, hoping that Derek would crawl into bed and pass out in the meantime. Still, when Will exited the bathroom, the lights were on and Derek was curled up with a book. </p><p>He looked up with a soft smile from his spot and Will looked away, not wanting to linger in it. This Match wasn’t going to be any different. </p><p>“Okay if I read for a bit?” Derek asked while Will turned off the light by his side of the bed. “I could go in the living room if—”</p><p>“No, sure,” Will interrupted him. The light wouldn’t keep him up. “Goodnight.”</p><p>“Yeah, thanks. You too.”</p><p>Despite saying goodnight, Will didn’t sleep.</p><p>
  <em>What the fuck was going on? </em>
</p><p>A second Match with Derek should not have been possible whatsoever. And only a week long? Will thought he understood the System at least a little bit but he was incredibly jarred, and it was clear Coach wasn’t going to help him out at all. </p><p>He’d thought about Derek a handful of times during his previous Matches and was either struck with a wave of guilt or a flicker of regret. Always, Will stifled it. He thought about all of his previous Matches every now and again—but thinking of Derek always brought feelings of insecurity that Will hadn’t wanted to deal with.</p><p>And here he was. Again. </p><p>A second chance… for what? To be less of a dick, Will considered, but he could already feel the tension leeching throughout his body. What would Derek expect from him this time around? Will hadn’t changed and he wasn’t going to—he hoped Derek wasn’t expecting anything different. </p><p>Despite saying the light wouldn’t bother him, it wasn’t until well after Derek had flicked off his lamp and gone to sleep did Will really fade away too, already nervous for what this week would bring him. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>06:08:17:28</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>In the morning, Derek woke to the smell of breakfast and he smiled. </p><p>As much as he was trying to, he still couldn’t quite understand Will. He knew once he climbed out of bed he would find enough breakfast for him to eat his share of, Will always made more than enough, and there wouldn’t necessarily be any reason for it. Coffee, probably, too. </p><p>They had another week together. Maybe by the end of it, Will would be easier to know.</p><p>He took a few moments to wake himself up, a nice long stretch toward the beautiful morning sun before a sleepy rub of his eyes, before Derek stumbled out to the kitchen. “Enough to go around?” he wondered loudly. Will startled at the sound of his voice, jumping a few inches, and Derek’s smile only grew. “Smells great,” he said.</p><p>Will pushed around some scrambled eggs on the stove. “I was expecting you to sleep for another few hours,” Will said in greeting.</p><p>Derek chuckled, dropping into a seat at the table. “Sorry to disappoint.”</p><p>Without even asking, Will prepared Derek a big mug of coffee with just as much creamer as he’d always taken during their last Match. It was perfect. He accepted the drink with a smile but Will wouldn’t meet his eyes and Derek didn’t want to push him. </p><p>“Thank you,” he said warmly after taking a long, much needed drink. Will could brew some damn good coffee, Derek would give him that. “It’s delicious.” </p><p>Will had returned to the stove. “Sure.”</p><p>What an odd aversion to <em>you’re welcome</em>, Derek thought. He sipped his coffee happily, enjoying the quiet of the morning and the sounds that came with cooking instead of feeling the need to force conversation that Will would probably grumble over anyway.</p><p>When breakfast was ready Will served the both of them, joining Derek at the table. </p><p>Still mostly asleep, Derek kept quiet. He figured he could give Will a morning without being excessively himself right away, but he did still want to do something together today. Whether or not this Match was really going to be a second chance, Derek was a people person. He wanted to get to know Will if Will would let him. </p><p>“Are you interested in doing an activity together today?” Derek finally asked. </p><p>Will took a slow drink from his mug. “Like what?” </p><p>“We could check movies in the Hub,” he offered. At least if they were to watch something with one another they could have a conversation about it later—and they’d been able to sit through a few together last time they’d been Matched. </p><p>“Sure,” Will said.</p><p>Derek smiled, grabbing Coach so they could go through them together. </p><p>Not off to a bad start.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>05:00:09:26</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Their second Match quickly devolved to the same way they operated during their first. They would eat breakfast together, Derek would inquire about some sort of afternoon activity, Will would begrudgingly accept, and then they would do their own thing.</p><p>Today, Derek suggested a walk around the lake to which Will responded, <em>We’ll see. </em>When the afternoon rolled around and Will backed out, Derek went alone. </p><p>But it was evening again. Dinner had been had, Derek was back from his walk, and the Pod felt two rooms too small. Will found something that looked interesting on the bookshelf in Derek’s absence and had stuck himself on the couch to read, but of course Derek had other plans. </p><p>“So,” Derek prompted. </p><p>For fuck’s sake. The other man had grabbed a book too, the same one from the night before. Couldn’t he just stick his nose between the pages and mind his own business for a day?</p><p>“How have your other Matches been?” Derek eventually asked. </p><p>Will looked up from the book he was reading and frowned. “Why?”</p><p>Derek frowned back. “Why… what?” </p><p>“Why do you care?”</p><p>Derek’s frown deepened and he looked back to his own book, shaking his head a little. </p><p>“Do you not talk about things with your other Matches? What kind of question is <em>why do you care?</em>” Will glared at Derek for another few seconds, and in that time Derek hesitantly cast another glance in Will’s direction—wincing when he saw the look on Will’s face. “I just figured it would be nice to talk about <em>something</em>,” he offered, tight. </p><p>Will didn’t stop frowning. “They’ve been fine.” </p><p>There was no need to get into it. It’s not like Derek would know any of them, and there was nothing gained from talking about how they’d gone.</p><p>“Were any of them actually able to make you smile?” Derek pushed, and in his voice was the smallest amount of teasing. Still, Will rolled his eyes, and the flicker of light on Derek’s face faded. “I’ll take that as a no.” </p><p>Will noisily turned his page, redirecting his attention back to his book. </p><p>Derek scoffed, throwing his hands up. “Dude seriously—what did I do to make you hate me so much?” he asked. “In case it wasn’t obvious I’m stuck in this fucking System too.” </p><p>Will looked up from his book again, actually lowering it so he could give Derek his attention. There was something in his voice that ached and the clarity of it made Will feel guilty. </p><p>“I just don’t understand,” he answered.</p><p>Derek waited for more but Will didn’t give it to him. “Understand <em>what</em>?” he finally pushed. “The question? Should I pick another one?” </p><p>“We didn’t have a good Match,” Will said firmly. “I don’t understand why it would put us together again.” </p><p>“That’s not my fucking fault!” Derek extended his hands again like he was desperate. “Maybe you need to go take a long hike and scream or something, but can you please stop fucking taking it out on me? This is exhausting.” </p><p>“You—get under my skin,” Will grit out, trying to make Derek understand. </p><p>There were so many things. Derek was so loud, constantly making noise. Whether it was tapping something or bouncing his leg or drumming his fingers on a counter, noise followed him everywhere. And not only that but he did everything with ease—like the System was easy for him—like a Match that only lasted a week was fine and good and perfectly wonderful when it wasn’t. Will was five Matches in and didn’t quite understand it yet, hadn’t quite figured out how to operate in it. </p><p>“So let’s talk about it?” Derek wondered.</p><p>And that! He always fucking wanted to talk about things!</p><p>“No,” Will muttered. He was so uncomfortable. “I don’t…” <em>talk about things</em>. Will was not a very communicative person and he didn’t want to have some big Feelings Talk with a Match that was just going to Expire in a couple of days. </p><p>“Maybe that’s actually the reason then,” Derek pushed, voice getting louder, more desperate. His book had been entirely set aside and all of his attention was pleadingly on Will. “That we Matched again—so you can learn to open up and talk about how you’re feeling so once you get your Ultimate you’re ready to—”</p><p>“<em>No</em>,” Will interrupted him. “Maybe the reason we Matched again is because the System is flawed.”</p><p>Will didn’t believe that, but he felt defensive. </p><p>Derek let out a short breath, his shoulders sagging. “Maybe the System wants you to learn how to stop being an asshole whenever you feel inconvenienced,” Derek offered, tight. </p><p>Will scoffed, closing his book completely as a spike of anger shot through him. “<em>You </em>said the System was about being yourself and letting the System work it out for you,” he tossed back, sharp. “If I’m an asshole, so be it.”</p><p>“Man, you suck,” Derek muttered. “I legit just do not understand people who don’t care about other people.”</p><p>“Who said I don’t care about other people?” Will snapped.</p><p>“You <em>literally </em>just said <em>if I'm an asshole, so be it</em>. Like—newsflash! You don’t <em>have</em> to be an asshole! You can wake up one day and decide it’s <em>not fun </em>being so bitter all of the time.”</p><p>Derek stormed away from him then, out the front door of their Pod without another word or even a glance over his shoulder. In the silence, Will felt cold. </p><p>Derek was right. He was annoying, but he was right. </p><p>They’d gotten off to a rough start for their first Match and since then it’d just been kind of messy. But Will knew that wasn’t really the point of the System. It wanted you to date the person you were Matched with, to actually get to know them, figure out what it is you want in a partner—an Ultimate Match. All Will and Derek had really done was fight. </p><p>Maybe the reason Will hadn’t been having the best luck with Matches was exactly what Derek had been implying. </p><p>It was difficult for Will to let his walls down. Vulnerability was scary for him, and being asked to be vulnerable before he was ready could feel like an attack. </p><p>Besides, Derek had been his shortest Match. Both times. One week? It took Will an entire week to feel comfortable enough with most of his Matches to even start some of those conversations. At least you knew you had another <em>five </em>to <em>seven weeks </em>after that first one to really be with that person. </p><p>When Derek returned he had a bottle of wine that Will could only assume he retrieved from the Hub. He went straight for the cabinet and grabbed two glasses before returning to the living room where Will was sitting on the couch. After popping the cork loudly, he returned with the bottle and some more silence.</p><p>Derek noisily filled the two glasses with wine before picking one up and handing it to Will very pointedly. </p><p>Once he’d accepted the glass Derek said, “Hi. I’m Derek.” Will blinked. “I think we might’ve gotten off on the wrong foot.” </p><p>Will exhaled a laugh. “Are you serious?” Derek gestured to the glasses of wine that he’d poured for both of them as if to say <em>yes I am really fucking serious</em>. “Fuck,” Will muttered. He lifted his glass and emptied it in one long drink. “Okay.” </p><p>Derek nodded encouragingly. “Okay?”</p><p>“Whatever. Sure. Fine.” </p><p>Derek grabbed the wine bottle and filled up Will’s glass again, slowly. “You been in the System long?” Derek asked, dragging out his question as he knew he’d already asked it.</p><p>Will kept his eyes on his glass. “Long enough,” he murmured. </p><p>Derek’s responding smile was small but comforting in ways Will didn’t realize a smile could be. It wasn’t like he’d wanted to be such a dick—Will <em>knew </em>he was being an asshole. But even though he knew that it could still be hard to stop. </p><p>“How about you ask me a question now?” Derek wondered. </p><p>Immediately, Will forgot every question that had ever existed. </p><p>“Uh.” He took another sip of wine, wishing the alcohol would kick in faster. “Sure. Do you… like this wine?” </p><p>Derek’s small smile blossomed into something a little warmer, a little brighter. He reached for his glass and said, “Let’s find out.” Will had knocked back his first drink before Derek had even taken a sip of his own. “Mm—yeah, this is nice,” he said after swallowing. “Love me a good red. Do you like this wine?” </p><p>“Reminds me of church,” Will told him.</p><p>Will had to admit he was a fan of Derek’s smile. In fact—all of Derek was pretty, that’d never been an issue. Or maybe it was. Maybe he was too pretty and Will didn’t understand why he’d been Matched with a man that was clearly more physically attractive than Will could ever strive to be. </p><p>“Do you church a lot?” Derek asked.</p><p>“My family did growing up, but no. Not anymore.” </p><p>“Do you believe in God?” </p><p>Will shrugged, returning his gaze to his glass. “I don’t know. I believe in something.” </p><p>Derek nodded like he agreed. “Fate?” he wondered.</p><p>“Something,” Will echoed. Couldn’t be sure what, God or the Universe or the red string that wound everyone together, but there had to be a greater something out there. “What about you? God. Fate.” </p><p>“Nah. To God, I mean. Maybe to Fate. Still undecided.”</p><p>“So you believe in something too,” Will said. </p><p>“Wow. Look at us connecting.” Will rolled his eyes and took another drink, but Derek’s smile grew. “Sorry,” he said. “I won’t tease you.” </p><p>“Just don’t be a dick,” Will muttered.</p><p>“Maybe you could be a good role model as to what that looks like and then I can just follow suit.” </p><p>“There you go,” Will said, “being a dick.”</p><p>Derek’s laughter genuinely felt like something small between them was healing. “It’s just too easy.” </p><p>Will looked down at his glass—it was easier than the sustained eye contact Derek was attempting. </p><p>“I guess I believe in… the System,” Will said. He’d shouted earlier that the System was flawed but he <em>couldn’t </em>believe that. He didn’t have a choice. “I want it,” he said quietly. “An Ultimate Match. The System’s the only way to get one.” </p><p>When Will looked up again, Derek’s smile had faded. “I don’t know that I do,” he said. </p><p>“Want an Ultimate Match?”</p><p>“Believe in the System.” </p><p>Will startled, eyes growing wide. “Why not?”</p><p>“Because for as long as I’ve been in it, I’ve spent at least half of it miserable out of my mind. Feeling worthless. Doubting myself. And I don’t know if an Ultimate Match is worth even a minute of it.” </p><p>Will shook his head, both sad and angry. “It has to be,” he argued. Derek shrugged, taking a long drink of his wine. “Don’t you want it?” Will pushed.</p><p>“Of course,” Derek answered immediately. “Everyone wants it. But that wasn’t the point—the point was if it’s worth it.” </p><p>Will looked back at his glass, feeling small. “It has to be,” he said again. </p><p>Derek took a long drink of his wine. “Weeks of feeling like shit for the promise of a lifetime of love. Is it a fair trade?” </p><p>Will hoped the question was rhetorical because he certainly wasn’t going to answer. “It hasn’t been like that for me,” he said instead. “I really don’t think it’s like that for a lot of people.” </p><p>Derek snorted. “You haven’t felt like shit at all in the System?” </p><p>Will grew cold at once. “That’s not what I—” he felt anger flaring up immediately to battle the ice. “They wouldn’t create a System where you’re supposed to find an <em>Ultimate Match </em>where a majority of the people in it just feel like shit all the time.”</p><p>Derek reached for the bottle and poured himself another glass. “Who’s They?” </p><p>Will startled again. “What?”</p><p>“You said <em>‘They wouldn’t create a System’...</em>” Derek trailed off before taking a gulp of wine. “Who are They?” </p><p>Will’s anger wasn’t dissipating very much. “You know that I don’t know,” he snapped. </p><p>“So how do you know <em>They </em>wouldn’t do that?” Derek asked, voice calm. Will inhaled sharply but before he could speak, Derek was soft again. “Chill, dude. I’m just trying to pick your brain some.” </p><p>No, this was an attack. </p><p>Will unclenched his jaw so he could take a drink of his own. “How do you know you didn’t choose to enter the System yourself?” he asked after a minute. “We don’t know how we got here. So what if it’s not someone else who’s making you suffer?” </p><p>Derek pointed at Will, a small smile forming on his face. “Now that’s a thought I’ve had many times. But! I feel like if I had chosen this, I would be able to opt out, no?”</p><p>Will shrugged. “Maybe not. Maybe you signed a contract to see it through until the end. Maybe we all did.”</p><p>“Maybe,” Derek said slowly, like this was the first time he’d thought of that specific.</p><p>“Maybe you need to climb the wall,” Will offered. </p><p>“Ah—Expulsion,” Derek considered. “Coach mentioned that to me before.” </p><p>“Maybe you don’t actually want out as much as you say you do.” Derek stilled then, a new quiet coming over him that Will had yet to see in him, and he knew he’d struck the truth. “Everybody wants it,” Will said firmly, echoing Derek’s words from earlier. </p><p>Derek looked down, eyes growing sad. “Yeah.” Something about seeing sadness so evident on Derek’s face brought a stillness to Will. It made him ache in a way he wasn’t expecting. “It’s not that bad,” Derek rushed, looking up. His face grew neutral and Will could see through it right away. “I mean, I’m sure it’ll all work out in the end. Whenever that is.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Will agreed. “We have dozens to go.” He knew Derek’s Match count was a little higher than his, but both of them were still new to the System. “It takes time.” </p><p>Derek exhaled a little, nodding. “Good things always do.” </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>So, fine. This Match wasn’t going exactly the way Derek wanted it to. He didn’t know why Will fought tooth and nail to keep people from getting to know him and with only a few days left Derek knew he wasn’t going to figure it out, so he’d try and make peace. </p><p>He decided to keep to himself as best he could. Besides, Will was still cooking for him. He didn’t <em>mean </em>to start another fight.</p><p>It was morning so Derek hadn’t even finished his coffee yet and the question genuinely came without thought. </p><p>“How’re you feeling today?” Derek asked.</p><p>Will’s response was short and immediate. “No.”</p><p>Derek exhaled tiredly, shaking his head a little. “Seriously? Why not?” </p><p>“The question is too direct,” Will grit out, refusing to look in Derek’s direction. </p><p>Derek knew Will had an aversion to feelings, but that wasn’t even what Derek had meant when he asked. They’d finished off the bottle of wine the night before and Will was always up early, Derek had just been hoping the other man didn’t have a headache. He didn’t need an especially grumpy Will—but that hadn’t seemed to matter in the end. </p><p>“It’s just a question, dude.”</p><p>“Well I don’t like it.” He dropped a plate of pancakes in front of Derek without looking at him, a gesture that had too much anger that Derek didn’t really understand. “I don’t know what you want,” Will muttered. “You don’t like it when I’m silent. You don’t like it when I answer you. I can’t fucking win.”</p><p>“Are you hungover?” Derek wondered tiredly. He hadn’t even gotten to say good morning. “I just like talking to people who don’t treat me like shit, Will. What the hell is with your attitude?” </p><p>“Because we—!” he extended his hands, clearly frustrated, but Derek wasn’t following. “Forget it.” </p><p>Derek took a bite of his pancake and swallowed without comment. It was delicious, as always, but the air was heavy with tension. He took his time cutting another bite, eyes downcast as he decided if he wanted to push Will some more or not.</p><p>“Remember last Match when I got drunk,” Derek said, “and you asked what the System would learn about me in that state?” </p><p>Will’s voice was low. “Why.”</p><p>Derek shouldn’t have said anything, but now that he’d started he couldn’t stop. “Well what do you think it learns about you?” he wondered. “Every time you just—are horrible.” </p><p>Will made some soft noise that <em>couldn’t </em>have been a gasp—there’s absolutely no way—but still Derek looked up to find Will looking shocked and hurt all at once. </p><p>“Are you serious?”</p><p>“Are you?” Derek wondered. He looked back down to his plate, shrugging casually. He hasn’t realized how impacted Will had been by his words or else he wouldn’t have been so blase. “I don’t know what I could have possibly said for you to react this way. Do you snap at your friends every time they ask you a question? Do you have friends?”</p><p>Will finally erupted. “Fuck you.” His voice was sharp enough to cut. “You’re so rude.”</p><p>“Me!” Derek laughed. He shook from the weight of it. “Oh, you’re a hoot.” Will folded his arms tightly over his chest while Derek bit into another bite. “What are you afraid of?” Derek asked.</p><p>Will shook his head. “I’m not afraid. And you’re being a dick.” Derek eased a little bit then as he finally picked up on the hitch in Will’s voice, but he still didn’t quite understand. “You think you’re better than me and you’re not.” </p><p>“What?” Derek sat up taller. “Because I asked how you were feeling? No I don’t.”</p><p>“Yes you do,” Will insisted. He waved his hands in Derek’s general direction, “The Almighty Man. Everything is always so easy for you.”</p><p>“I am so confused,” Derek insisted, trying to halt the conversation now. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>“<em>Feelings</em>,” Will threw out dramatically. “The System. After last night I figured you’d understand it’s not easy for me to—and then you just immediately open with—” </p><p>Derek cut him off. “None of this is easy for me!” Will folded his arms over his chest. Finally they looked at each other, Will with his jaw set and Derek heaving a deep sigh. “It was an innocent question, Will. I wasn’t trying to start anything.”</p><p>“Sure. Asking me if I have <em>friends</em>. Okay.” </p><p>Derek scoffed, tossing his hands up. “Come on, man. I’m sorry,” Derek eventually offered, not wanting to keep eating without putting that into the space between them. “I don’t know what just happened. When I asked how you were feeling I meant—physically—not… I’m not always trying to get into it, Will. Fuck.” </p><p>Will took a deep breath and held himself a little tighter. </p><p>“I feel fine,” he murmured. “I don’t think I got enough sleep.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Derek muttered, digging back into his breakfast. “Seems like it.” </p><p>Will reached up to rub at his eyes and Derek offered him a quiet thanks for breakfast before suggesting to Will that he get back in bed. Derek would take care of the dishes, but it wasn’t like they had any plans. And—after the sudden outburst it felt like they needed some space. And Will needed some sleep.</p><p>It took a few minutes but eventually Will agreed and trudged off toward their bedroom again.</p><p>Derek couldn’t help but wonder what Will’s life looked like before the System. What had led him to thinking the best way to keep his heart safe was to build walls that rivaled the ones here? Tall and impossible to scale, cold and closed off. All of this mess because Derek had asked him how he was feeling?</p><p>At this rate, Derek didn’t think Will would ever find his Ultimate Match. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>02:01:42:12</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Yesterday Will woke up after his mid-morning nap feeling much less crabby than the first time he’d gotten out of bed. His headache had subsided and his body didn’t feel as sore, thanks to some more sleep and a couple of aspirin. </p><p>He apologized to Derek for his outburst by cooking them a huge dinner and offering to watch a movie together. It was a peace offering. </p><p>When he’d first gotten out of bed that morning he was already grumpy from his hangover, he hadn’t been expecting Derek to climb out of bed after him so soon. Will valued his morning silence, even more so when his head was pounding, and for Derek to immediately ask him about <em>feelings </em>set Will off. Their whole talk the night before already had him on edge, he couldn’t change overnight and still felt defensive that he didn’t need to.</p><p>Along with that, he didn’t know how to tell Derek that with only a week it was easier to build walls than knock them down. It was hard enough for Will to open his heart to people—for short Matches it felt as though the System was being cruel to him, not allowing those relationships to flourish in the way they could. Like… this one.</p><p>The rest of the day had been spent mostly quiet.</p><p>Today, Will expected more of the same. </p><p>Clearly they just did not strike the same chord. They could co-exist in silence but that was their best option at getting through the Match without killing one another. </p><p>Of course this didn’t last. It was afternoon when Derek approached him.</p><p>“Wanna go on a walk?” Derek asked. Will looked up as he entered the room, a tentative smile on his face as he lingered by the back wall. Will glanced down at the book in his hand before looking up again, frowning. “Is that a no?” </p><p>“I’m reading,” he answered. </p><p>Derek nodded slowly, arching an eyebrow. “I noticed that. Hence my polite interruption to see if you’d be interested in doing something else, together.” </p><p>Will didn’t have to look at Coach to know how much time they had left. He’d checked it earlier, their two remaining days glaring up at Will from the small device. He couldn’t understand why Derek didn’t look at their Expiry as a reason to distance themselves from one another—what was the point of growing closer when this would just end in a couple of days?</p><p>They’d fought so many times. Why was Derek still trying to make a connection?</p><p>“You know,” Derek prompted after a minute of silence, “you could always use that voice of yours to give me an actual answer sometime.” </p><p>Will scoffed, looking up at him with a frown. “I already answered you.”</p><p>Derek’s eyes blew a little wide with hurt. “Seriously?” He threw his hands up and got louder to say, “Every time I think we might be getting somewhere. Fuck.” </p><p>He turned then and left their Pod without another word and Will, once again, felt less than inclined to follow him. But it did feel different this time, a deeper cut than before that he couldn’t quite ignore as easily as he could the first time he Matched with Derek.</p><p>Will paged through his book for the next hour or so waiting for Derek to return but he didn’t retain a lot of what he’d read. Even though he knew the odds of him Matching with Derek again were slim, he didn’t want to end this one on a bad note. What Derek had said the morning before stood out to him—<em>what do you think the System learns about you when you’re horrible? </em></p><p>It wasn’t like Will was <em>trying </em>to be horrible. He didn’t want to be a dick, and he hated that Derek thought he was this incredible monster that only wanted to start arguments. That wasn’t true in the slightest.</p><p>He felt tense the second Derek walked back through the door, but Will jumped to his feet anyway. Derek startled when he saw that Will had stood and paused in the doorway. </p><p>“Hi,” Derek greeted slowly. </p><p>Will swallowed and took a deep breath. “You’re right,” he said. </p><p>“Wow.” Derek blinked a few times. “About?” </p><p>“I don’t know what to do with a week.” Even though it wasn’t much of a confession seeing as Derek clearly could piece together Will’s big aversion to this Match, but the way Derek’s shoulders let go of the tension they were holding brought Will some relief. “I don’t know how it’s good for anyone,” Will added after a moment for his words to sink in. “I don’t know how to talk to you because it doesn’t feel like it matters in any meaningful way.” </p><p>“Why does a Match have to be long for it to be meaningful?” he asked slowly. “And… why does common decency have to be something that’s only given to those with meaning? Dude, like… why can’t we just talk about shit and hang out and see where it goes? We could be—I don’t know, friends. Not every Match is going to be perfect. That’s why the Ultimate one comes at the end.” </p><p>Will felt like he’d never heard it laid out so simply before. He wound his arms around himself and sighed, frustrated. </p><p>“It’s a lot of pressure,” Will murmured.</p><p>Derek kicked off his shoes with a muted laugh. “No shit.” He shrugged a little before sighing. “I know the point of the System is to find the Ultimate Match but nobody—least of all <em>me</em>—expects every Match to be <em>real</em>, you know?” Derek extended his hands, palms up, and lightly lifted his shoulders. “We could’ve just been friends. Don’t you talk about shit with your friends?” </p><p>Will was glad his arms were still wrapped around himself. He looked away, not really wanting to answer Derek’s question—this time coming without the same venom Will had heard the day before. Of course Will talked about things with his friends, but there was always a wall there too. It wasn’t easy for him opening up to <em>anyone</em>. Keeping his feelings tucked away was what kept Will sane. It was what kept his heart safe. </p><p>“Since I know you have them,” Derek added, waving his hands like jazz-hands and speaking in a voice Will couldn’t be sure was serious or not. </p><p>“I don’t even want to imagine what you talk about with your friends,” Will grumbled, trying to change the subject but also not wanting to shut it down completely. </p><p>He could be friends with Derek. It’s not like they were ever going to Match again anyway, and—besides, that was a really helpful way for Will to look at things moving forward. Especially if he had any more short ones.</p><p>“You really don’t,” Derek agreed, his smile returning. He placed his hands on his hips and openly studied Will from a few feet away for a moment, shaking his head just a touch. Will dropped his gaze—what was it that Derek could see? What was he searching for? “So,” he said after a minute. “What do you want to talk about then?” </p><p>Will hadn’t considered what would happen when they made it this far. </p><p>“Uh.” Slowly he lowered himself to sit back on the couch, shrugging a little. </p><p>“Movie?” Derek wondered. Will nodded, and Derek’s smile grew again. It was nice that Derek thought of that as their peace offering, too. “It’s your turn,” he reminded him softly before joining him on the couch. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>08:28</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Will watched with an ache in the pit of his stomach as his and Derek’s two separate cart’s arrived. They were still a ways off, slowly creeping toward their Pod, but close enough that they could watch them pull in. </p><p>“Well,” Derek eventually prompted, turning to face Will. </p><p>“You gonna wish me good luck again?” he asked.</p><p>Derek’s smile was immediate. “I mean you desperately need some, so yeah.” </p><p>Will managed a laugh too, but it was muffled. “Fuck you.”</p><p>“You wish you did,” Derek countered. Will actually leaned then, taking a few steps forward so he could push Derek away from him. Derek’s responding laugh was so brilliant it brought a real smile to Will’s face too. They straightened up and stood side by side again, a step closer than before. “Maybe we’ll see each other around,” Derek said. </p><p>“Maybe,” Will agreed. </p><p>He couldn’t be sure that he wanted that. He still didn’t see the good in time with a repeat Match. Especially one like Derek, with so much nuance to their relationship. </p><p>“Are you gonna ignore me if we do?”</p><p>“Why do you care so much?” Will shot back, tired. “Aren’t you ready to be done with me?” Derek’s smile didn’t fade, but something in his eyes shifted. Will still didn’t know what the other man could see that Will couldn’t. “I’ll tip my head at you in a cursory greeting,” Will finally told him. “But that’s all you get.” </p><p>Derek laughed again, warm. “Okay.” Finally, their carts approached. “Good luck,” Derek said again, his smile softer, his voice more serious. </p><p>Will grew softer. He knew Derek was being genuine—and after the way that Will had treated him he didn’t understand why he deserved it. “Thank you,” he said gently. “You too.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>MATCH COUNT</strong>
</p><p>Will: 10 | Derek: 13</p><p> </p><p>Will had been surprised when his next Match arrived so soon after his last.</p><p>The one before had been longer and Will had grown fond of the person the System had placed him with. He hadn’t been in such a hurry to get back into it and already being led to a restaurant had him feeling frustrated.</p><p>“You would think it would give you time to—process, or whatever,” Will muttered.</p><p>
  <em>“The System has already processed.” </em>
</p><p>Will frowned, eyes elsewhere as he and Coach entered the restaurant. People weren’t computers, he wanted to say. They needed more time sometimes to deal with endings—to say goodbye. He knew that life wasn’t always fair, but the System was created by someone… right? Couldn’t they work in a bit of kindness every now and then? </p><p>His heart was feeling a little fragile as he followed the directions to his table. Will never really liked first dates but after really nice Matches they were always harder. He hated that he had to present this perfect version of himself—wished that it was easier to talk about how he was feeling with these strangers so they could make space to grieve together. </p><p>But—no. That wasn’t how the System worked. And if that wasn’t how the System worked then that was how it was supposed to be.</p><p>“Will?”</p><p>He looked up, shaken from his thoughts, and paused at the sight of Derek in front of him. His smile was familiar and to see it after already feeling so blue made Will a little weak in the knees.</p><p>“Hey,” Will said softly.</p><p><em>“Match confirmed</em>.”</p><p>Holy shit.</p><p>Derek sat up a little taller, his smile growing. “Well, well, well,” he began slowly.</p><p>“Oh, don’t,” Will reprimanded. “Please don’t even start.”</p><p>He could deal with Derek’s shenanigans any other night but for now he needed to ease back into it. What the hell was going on? Will felt more confused than he had in a long time but with it came a sense of relief—another Match with Derek meant another opportunity to breathe.</p><p>Will couldn’t quite process his time in the System in the middle of another Match, but… being Matched with Derek gave him time for that. To do it on his own anyway. They took a lot of space from one another and even when they didn’t, the way they Derek spoke often led him to reflect in ways he hadn’t considered before. </p><p>“Okay,” Derek conceded. He was still smiling and Will swelled with gratitude for him.</p><p>“I’m… surprised,” Will explained after taking a drink from his glass of ice water. “To see you again.”</p><p>Derek grinned. “More or less surprised than the last time you saw me again?”</p><p>“More, I think,” he admitted. </p><p>Could this be right? He’d never heard of a triple match before finding the Ultimate Match, but he supposed he’d never really looked into it. He didn’t know if he could.</p><p>“<em>Everything happens for a reason</em>.” </p><p>Coach chimed in as if reading his thoughts, and Will frowned a little bit. He didn’t understand the process and thinking about it just made him more confused. But he wanted this—to find his someone—so he kept at it.</p><p>He could match with Derek again.</p><p>“Well let’s check,” Will decided. He was sure he already knew what it would say but it never hurt to have it confirmed.</p><p>“Always in such a hurry, aren’t you?”</p><p>“Why aren’t you?” Will pushed. “Figured you’d want to get it over with.” </p><p>Derek startled, looking a little hurt. The smile that had looked so good on his face faded in a flash. “You really don’t like me, do you?” He reached for his Coach, eyebrows furrowed and definitely not looking toward Will as he tapped the screen. “Let’s do it.” </p><p>The words Will expected appeared after a few moments of waiting. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>One Week</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“Should’ve bet on it,” Derek muttered. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>06:21:32:53</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>The first night in their new Pod, Derek didn’t want to waste any time. Before the sun had even begun to set he was on his feet, trying to figure out the best way for the two of them to spend this Match. They’d both settled into their routine—grabbing a book, starting some tea—but Derek didn’t want to do that this time. He wanted something else. </p><p>“Come on,” Derek said, standing at the door. “We’re going on a walk.”</p><p>It wasn’t a question this time. He and Will were going to spend some time together even if it killed them.</p><p>Will looked down at his book, then back up at Derek with a frown. “Why?”</p><p>“Because they keep sticking us together,” Derek said, extending his hands. “Don’t you want to figure out why?”</p><p>Will closed his book but didn’t move. “To remind me how lucky I am every time I Match with someone else,” he responded.</p><p>Derek rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop his smile from returning. “You’ll miss me when you never see me again,” he declared. </p><p>“Untrue.” </p><p>“Let’s… try friends,” he offered tentatively.</p><p>Derek didn’t want another week of tension and he didn’t want another week of fighting. He wanted this Match to end and for things with Will to feel different—but it all depended on if Will would be willing to actually reveal pieces of himself.</p><p>Slowly, Will stood. “I’ll come.” He looked up toward Derek with soft eyes, sweet like honey, and sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “For last Match. And—at dinner…” he trailed off. “I figured that <em>you’d </em>be more upset to see <em>me</em>.” </p><p>Derek didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t expecting this sort of response, at least not so soon. “Really?” </p><p>“We fight every time we’re Matched,” Will said, slowly walking over to join Derek by the door. “Why wouldn’t I assume you wouldn’t want to see me?”</p><p>“I like second chances,” Derek told him.</p><p>“What about third?”</p><p>“And fourth, and fifth…” Derek trailed off with a smile. He thought that an apology from Will had been so far out of reach that Derek had never anticipated it would come like this—casual, sincere, on the very first night.</p><p>Maybe things really would be different this Match.</p><p>“There’s no way we’re Matching that many times,” Will muttered, a little pink in the cheeks, and Derek’s smile didn’t have any plans on going anywhere. “But—it…” he was struggling with his words. “Our first Match…” he sighed, turning so he didn’t have to look at Derek as he spoke. “You were only my second and you were—a lot, dude—I just… shouldn’t have gotten so frustrated right away.” </p><p>Derek nodded slowly, seriously grateful that Will said something, and so early in their Match, too. “You need personal space,” he noted. “That’s chill.” </p><p>“And time,” Will whispered. “I can’t dive in like you can.”</p><p>Derek felt a rush of sadness at once but did everything he could to fight it. He couldn’t help but wonder what a Match with Will that had more time would look like. Maybe a few days of fighting at first, but they’d really started communicating toward the end of their last Match. What could they do with even just a few more days?</p><p>Could they do it this time?</p><p>“Okay. Well. We’ve had time now,” Derek said. “And you’ve had personal space, so,” he tipped his head toward the door, “now we’re going on a walk.”</p><p>“I’m standing, aren’t I?” </p><p>Once they were outside, Derek didn’t know where to take them. He’d gone on lots of walks around the area but paths always seemed to be changing, trails never staying where Derek expected them to be. Will didn’t seem to notice, or care, that Derek was picking their route at random. They chatted idly about random things—the weather and it’s stagnant consistency, the landscape around them—before Derek decided to go a little deeper. </p><p>“What Match number are you on?” he asked as they settled down by a pond to watch the sunset. </p><p>“Ten,” Will answered. </p><p>Derek always seemed to be at least a few ahead of him—but Will’s seemed to last longer. </p><p>“Who was your favorite?” Derek asked. Will rolled his eyes before glaring a little bit, which only made Derek chuckle. “Aw, come on. There’s no one you wish you had more time with?” </p><p>Will thought about it for a moment, returning his gaze to the pond. “My last Match and I would bake a lot,” Will told him. “I thought… it was stupid at first,” he admitted slowly. “But do you bake? Have you done that?”</p><p>“Cakes from a box, sure.”</p><p>“No, like, pies. Bread. From scratch.” </p><p>“No.”</p><p>Will shook his head. “We’ll do that tomorrow, then,” he said. “You’ll <em>love </em>the cheesy bread. Tastes better when you make it yourself, too.” Derek’s heart fluttered in his chest. Will couldn’t actually be flirting with him this time, could he? “He was great—Eric. I mean—we weren’t especially compatible,” Will explained. “But it was really easy to spend time with him.” </p><p>Derek’s smile faded at once. He knew he wasn’t easy to spend time with. </p><p>“So we’ll bake tomorrow,” Derek agreed quietly. </p><p>They both retreated to silence, which seemed to be their natural state, but for the first time in a long time it didn’t feel as uncomfortable as it usually had. Will leaned back on his elbows for a more comfortable seat and Derek kept his gaze forward, studying the purples and pinks that swirled through the sky. </p><p>“What about you?” Will eventually asked.</p><p>“What about me?”</p><p>“Favorite Match.”</p><p>Without missing a beat Derek answered, “You.”</p><p>“Oh, shut up.” Derek laughed, elbowing Will a little and getting pushed back in return. Will’s cheeks had gone pink which only made Derek’s smile grow. “Seriously.”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Derek answered honestly. “I’ve had a few really good Matches, but they’re always so short, I don’t know.” </p><p>Will leaned backwards on the hill a bit more so he was mostly laying down, the angle of the incline enough so that they could sit while stretching out at the same time. He turned his head to look at Derek for a moment before looking back to the sunset.</p><p>“How long’s your longest been?” Will asked. </p><p>Derek hesitated. He didn’t answer until they had paused again at a new spot by the lake. “What about you?” he asked.</p><p>“You didn’t answer the question.”</p><p>“I answered with another question.”</p><p>Will rolled his eyes, shaking his head again. “You’re so annoying,” he answered. Still, Will gave him a real response. “Mine was two months.” </p><p>Thirteen Matches in and Derek still hadn’t been paired with anyone longer than a week. </p><p>“I think I heard the average Match count before you find your Ultimate is in the 30s,” Derek told him instead of responding to the question. “That seems crazy to me.” </p><p>Will exhaled deeply and Derek wondered what he was thinking about. “System’s always learning, I guess.” </p><p>“Yeah, I guess.” </p><p>Silence returned, but only for a moment. “So no answer, then?” Will wondered. </p><p>Derek kept his gaze on the sunset, afraid of what Will’s reaction might be when he answered, “Just a week.” </p><p>“What?” Will demanded. “Your longest Match has only been a week?”</p><p>“It’s pretty standard for me,” Derek admitted, still looking away from Will. He didn’t know if he’d find pity or confusion or something worse. “Lots of little breaks in-between while waiting for the next Match,” he added. </p><p>“Your longest Match has only been a week,” Will repeated, disbelief still thick in his voice. “How do you…” he trailed off, shaking his head a touch. “I couldn’t…” His eyes widened slightly. “And you’ve had more than me. Matches, I mean.” </p><p>“Just a few.” </p><p>“Do you like that?” Will carried on, eyebrows furrowed together as he processed this information. “Lots of short Matches.”</p><p>Derek managed a smile and prepared to write it off as no big deal, but found himself sadly admitting, “No. Not really.” Suddenly, Will looked sad himself, and he looked away from Derek while letting out a soft breath. He folded his arms over his chest while they stood in silence, the lake quiet around them. “I think that’s why I… come on so strong, at first,” Derek added after a moment. “Don’t have a lot of time to waste.” </p><p>Will exhaled quietly. “Makes sense,” he murmured. </p><p>“Your Matches are normally longer?” Derek asked, needing the subject off of him. He’d always assumed so, but they’d never been able to speak so openly about it and honestly, he was finished talking about his abysmally short Matches. </p><p>“At least a month,” Will answered with a nod. “It varies between one and two, but you are definitely the shortest.” </p><p>“What’s this,” Derek murmured, “three weeks together, now?” He watched as Will folded his arms over his chest. “What happens when we hit four weeks together?” he asked, which was what the System counted <em>one month </em>here. “Your heart grows four sizes too big and you fall in love with me for real?”</p><p>“Ha ha,” Will muttered. Derek smiled, comfortable with where they were. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you.”</p><p>Derek’s smile grew, his eyebrows shifting higher on his forehead. “Maybe I would,” he said fondly. “I don’t know. Would you like that?” </p><p>“Another week with you?” Will prompted.</p><p>Derek took a step back, trying to piece their conversation together again. He thought maybe Will had been teasing him about falling in love but now that doesn’t seem to be the case. </p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>Will shrugged. “This is weird, Derek. I don’t know what good it would do.” </p><p>“I don’t get that,” he said, shaking his head. “<em>What good it would do</em>—what does that mean?” Will folded his arms over his chest and retreated to silence. His lack of a response only made Derek sad. “If the System’s always learning then why not another repeat Match with someone that you already know? You think too much.” </p><p>“You don’t think enough.”</p><p>“Yeah, my head’s totally empty.” </p><p>Will rolled his eyes. Derek didn’t push him anymore. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>06:06:06:56</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>After cleaning up breakfast that morning, Will decided to start gathering things to make cheesy bread. Every time Derek asked if he could help Will wouldn’t really give him an answer, so he stayed close without actually touching anything. He didn’t mind. He didn’t actually need to help, but their conversation from the previous day had felt like an invitation to share space. </p><p>Derek was really trying this thing as friends. He’d done it before with Matches; he was 13 Matches into the System, they weren’t all going to be gems. He’d never fought with any the way he had with Will at the start of all this, but there were plenty who only stayed platonic. A week wasn’t a lot of time to really get to know a lot of people on the level most were searching for—like Will had expressed for himself.</p><p>But on this third week of Matching with Will, Derek wanted to be friends. Really. No more petty fighting. He wanted to understand Will and give space for Will to understand him. (He wanted Will to want that too.)</p><p>“What do you remember about Before?” Derek asked.</p><p>Will’s eyes darted over to him before returning back to the dough he’d started preparing. He shrugged a little, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion like every time Derek asked someone about life outside of this bubble that they lived in. </p><p>“Coach says trust the System,” Will murmured slowly. “I figure it’ll make sense later.” </p><p>“So… not much,” Derek prompted with a smile. “It’s okay,” he offered. “Me neither. Obviously.”</p><p>Faces, friends, places, stories, jobs. Then… the System. Was he carted away in the middle of the night? Did he choose to join like Will had suggested? If so—was it worth it? Will was right, Coach always told him to trust the System, but sometimes Derek hated doing it. The trees felt strange here, and he missed the smell of rain.</p><p>Would he ever get to leave? What did the After look like?</p><p>“I’m an architect,” Will told him, and he sounded sure. “Mostly designing houses for rich people,” he added. “Fancy and elaborate. Heated floors, automatic blinds, making sure their Cookie syncs. Stuff like that.”</p><p>“See, why didn’t you tell me that before? I never knew that!” </p><p>Will shrugged. “Not like I’m doing much of that here.”</p><p>“Do you ever look at the Hub or the Pods and think about what you could do to improve them?” Derek wondered. </p><p>“Constantly.” Derek couldn’t help his chuckle. “Let me guess. You do something useless for a living.”</p><p>Derek’s chuckle erupted into a full laugh. “I fucking hate you,” he said with a grin. “I’m a teacher.” </p><p>Will winced. “You work with <em>kids</em>?”</p><p>“You think I can’t?”</p><p>“It just makes so much sense,” Will murmured. Before Derek could ask him to elaborate Will called him back over to demonstrate the next technique in the creation of their cheesy buns. He explained nothing, but it was soothing to watch. “What do you teach?” Will asked after he’d completed the next steps. “How to be insufferable?”</p><p>Derek couldn’t help the laughter that found him. “Yeah, exactly. It’s a crash-course for middle schoolers on how to become fully realized demon children.” He rolled his eyes a little before adding, “No. English, obviously.”</p><p>“Oh, obviously, yeah,” Will agreed. “Very useful.”</p><p>“It is,” Derek agreed. “Gotta start developing critical thinking skills young or they’ll all turn out like you.” </p><p>Will scoffed but his face lit up with a small smile. “Funny.” He shook his head, thinking. “Middle school? Fuck’s sake, Derek, who willingly resubmits themselves to the hell that is <em>middle school</em>.”</p><p>“Someone has to do it,” Derek told him. “God—if you don’t have someone in middle school telling you that everything’s going to be okay then you just lose it.” He shook his head a little bit, thinking about some of his students but also thinking about himself when he was younger. “Middle school is hard. I remember what it was like.”</p><p>Will shook his head and Derek thought maybe he still didn’t understand, but he wasn’t sure how else to explain it. Weird, socially awkward kids needed love when they were at their most vulnerable. Derek liked making sure they could turn out okay—that they knew they had people to turn to. </p><p>“I think that’s nice,” Will said after some silence.</p><p>Derek’s heart expanded in his chest. “Thank you.”</p><p>“Absolutely fucking nuts,” Will added, glancing at him over his shoulder. “But still nice.”</p><p>“<em>Thank you</em>,” Derek said again, his smile growing. </p><p>He sat back, watching Will work. It was soothing watching him fold the dough. It wasn’t that Derek had an aversion to silence—he didn’t. He could enjoy it well enough when it felt comfortable. Now that he and Will were stepping into something that felt more familiar he didn’t always feel the need to push it. Still, he kept trying to think of what they could relate on. </p><p>“Sports?” Derek wondered. </p><p>“Hockey,” Will answered at once.</p><p>Derek paused and grinned. “Yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah, I played in college,” he explained, and Derek’s smile only grew. “Stop. What?”</p><p>“Me too,” he answered. He was on his feet in an instant. “I was a defenseman!” Will’s eyes grew wide and Derek reached out to him, hands shaking his shoulders as he burst with excitement. “We could probably put together a group to play at the rink!” Derek hadn’t been this excited in a long time. He dropped his hold on Will and turned back to the table. “Oh my God, Coach!”</p><p>“<em>Derek?”</em></p><p>“Could we play at the rink? Is there anyone looking for pick-up?” </p><p>“<em>Yes. There’s an open session tomorrow. Would you like to join?”</em></p><p>“Fuck yes!”</p><p>“<em>Noted. See screen for details.”</em></p><p>“Oh my <em>God</em>,” Derek said again, turning back to Will with an uncontrollable smile. “This is going to be so fun.”</p><p>“It’s been a while since I played,” Will admitted slowly, but Derek didn’t care. It didn’t matter if Will was absolute shit on the ice or threw some sort of temper tantrum and refused to play—they had a commonality! “Might take me some time to get back in the groove.”</p><p>“That’s fine,” Derek insisted. “Same for me! I mean—I skated with a past Match but we didn’t play… I don’t know why I didn’t think of it!” Derek loved being on the ice. He hadn’t played hockey in forever but he knew the second he got to the rink it would return to him easily. “Fuck,” Derek said after he’d settled down. “I didn’t even ask about you.”</p><p>“You didn’t,” Will noted.</p><p>Derek laughed, jaw hanging open. “You could’ve interrupted me.”</p><p>“You were very excited.” Will closed the door to the oven and set the timer before turning back to Derek, folding his arms over his chest. “Well?” he prompted. “Are you going to ask?”</p><p>“What position did you play?” Derek asked, smiling. </p><p>“I was a defenseman.”</p><p>“Fuck you! Don’t lie to me.”</p><p>Will’s smile came then, slow and earth shattering. Derek felt dizzy as he watched it spread across his face. “Unfortunately I’m telling the truth,” he said. </p><p>“Unfortunately?!” He moved back toward Will, one hand reaching up to grip Will’s shoulder. “This is the best news I’ve ever heard!”</p><p>Will shrugged Derek’s hand off of his shoulders and turned away, still smiling, shaking his head at the same time. “Has anyone ever told you how dramatic you are?” he wondered, and—yeah, Will was teasing him. </p><p>Derek couldn’t stop grinning—this had to be their breakthrough. Three Matches in and Derek was as light as a feather at the idea of Will turning over a new leaf in this tricky little relationship of theirs. Maybe being a little more vulnerable—opening up a little bit more. </p><p>“All the time,” Derek said easily. </p><p>It was time to leave the bread alone for a bit so Will put on a pot of coffee for them to share while Derek settled back down at the table. </p><p>Today had been really nice, Derek realized. They sat in comfortable silence and Derek could honestly say that he’d enjoyed his afternoon with Will. It didn’t feel forced but it was fun, and there was even going to be treats to eat at the end of all of it. Not a bad way to spend the day. </p><p>It wasn’t that Derek thought Will would change his tune completely right away, but he did feel like they were in a safe enough space that he could maybe dig a little deeper. He took a long drink of his coffee and sat back in his chair, considering, before finally deciding to go for it. </p><p>“So, your last Match,” Derek prompted quietly. Will looked up but only for a moment and in that time his face grew pale while his ears grew pink. “Seems like it was a nice one.”</p><p>Will’s focus shifted to his own mug and he nodded, before popping his shoulder into a shrug and waving it off. “Yeah,” he murmured. “Fine.”</p><p>Derek glanced over at where the dough was rising and tried his hardest to imagine what it could have been like—a Match like that with Will. Someone who danced around the kitchen and constantly brought smiles out of him—someone who made Will want to start <em>this </em>Match with an apology. </p><p>Derek didn’t understand why his repeated Matches with Will hadn’t seemed to have that much impact on Will’s treatment of him, but how someone else had gotten through to Will with time.</p><p>Or—maybe that was it, maybe they just needed more time. Derek was always desperate for it in his Matches, but with Will in particular. He wanted to see through this tough front he was always putting on </p><p>“Do you wanna… talk about it?” Derek asked. “As friends,” he rushed. “I can be chill.”</p><p>Will exhaled a tight laugh, but his face grew serious. He was quiet for a moment and Derek leaned back, wondering if he would actually say something.</p><p>“Do you ever feel like there isn’t enough time between Matches to really… sit with it all?” Will wondered.</p><p>Derek nodded at once. “Yeah, dude. Totally.” </p><p>“I mean—he wasn’t my Ultimate. I knew that. Being with him was nice, but it wasn’t…” he trailed off, but Derek couldn’t be sure what it was that Will was thinking. It wasn’t exciting? It wasn’t intense? It wasn’t intimate? He hadn’t been on the Match, he couldn’t know. “Doesn’t mean it doesn’t… feel bad. That it’s over.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Derek agreed quietly.  “I know.” </p><p>He had a handful of Matches that felt awful once they’d ended, ones he’d really ached for more time with the other person. Derek had cried in the Cart on the ride to the Hub and had cried in the Single Bunks in the Hub and sometimes even on the next Match he would be honest that he wasn’t quite where he wanted to be because of a previous Match. </p><p>Once it was about Will.</p><p>But—this wasn’t about Derek. </p><p>“You would bake together?” Derek prompted. </p><p>Will nodded, taking a small sip from his mug. “Yeah.” </p><p>After an extended period of silence Derek asked, “Do you miss him?” Will’s eyes darted up to meet his briefly before looking away, question unanswered. “It’s okay, Will. No judgement from me.” </p><p>His voice was tight with frustration as he said, “I don’t know why it takes me from that to <em>this</em>.”</p><p>Eugh, fuck.</p><p>“Ouch,” Derek murmured.</p><p>“No, Derek—” he hurried, but Derek had already moved to his feet.</p><p>“It’s fine,” he insisted, smiling despite the way his stomach had soured. “I get it. Good Matches are hard to leave behind. It sounds like you could use some… space to process.” When he met Will’s gaze, he found the other man pale. Still, he nodded, and Derek nodded too. “I can take a walk,” he offered. “Be out for a bit. Come back once the bread is ready.”</p><p>“Okay,” Will said quietly. </p><p>Derek nodded faster then and moved out of the kitchen, through the living space and out of the Pod completely. He didn’t want to look too much like he was running but he also felt a little bit that he was. </p><p>He didn’t understand why Will disliking being Matched with him hurt so much. They just didn’t vibe all the time—whatever. It wasn’t the end of the world. Plenty of people didn’t vibe with Derek and he’d survived it. But he felt like he tried harder with Will than anyone else, so even the small disappointments felt like chasms. </p><p>Grateful he’d brought his coffee with him, Derek started off in whatever direction his feet would carry him. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>05:05:55:54</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Going to the Hub to get to the rink was honestly the most excited Will had been in a long time. </p><p>Derek was bubbling over with it. He shone often, but the warmth radiating in his eyes and the happy cadence of his voice the morning before they went had Will smiling just from the proximity of it. He couldn’t be sure if Derek’s overall excitement was because they were playing hockey or because they had finally found something the two of them could really bond over, but Will didn’t mind basking in it for a little while. </p><p>They could be friends.</p><p>Derek rambled about his college days and his old partner and asked Will a lot about his time playing in college and honestly, it was nice to have something like hockey to fall back on. </p><p>After the bread had cooled yesterday and was ready to be eaten, Derek returned looking somber. Will had enjoyed the quiet and the alone time—he didn’t quite understand how Derek had known what he needed, but he was grateful for it. He just hadn’t expected Derek to look so sad upon his return. </p><p>Will had considered asking him what happened but at the time had still felt the weight of sadness himself. Instead he offered Derek a bun, which he accepted with a soft smile, and from there they put it behind them. </p><p>With the morning, Derek was more of himself again, and Will felt more settled in his bones than he had in a long time too. He made breakfast for them while Derek recapped his elaborate and confusing dream, even laughing when a part of the story surprised him. </p><p>Derek in general kept surprising him, but. </p><p>They were almost to the Hub now and Will tried to keep his thoughts focused on hockey. </p><p>He’d never gone to the rink but Derek seemed to know the way. It was located in the lower levels of the Hub—they had to take a couple of escalators to get there—but as the air cooled and they approached the ice, Will couldn’t care how long it took.</p><p>He loved hockey. Truly, being on the ice felt like one of the rare places where he didn’t have to pretend to be anyone but himself. He could be angry and fearsome, he could be clever and quick. Everything at once. </p><p>Derek was in the middle of explaining the different areas of the rink—which was actually one gigantic ice rink split until multiple areas for multiple activities like ice skating or hockey—waving his arms dramatically toward the locker room when his explanation was interrupted by a loud, “Derek?” </p><p>Derek stopped mid-sentence and turned, scanning for whoever had called for him, laughing up the moment he saw whoever had yelled his name. “Adam!” He turned to Will briefly with a look on his face that read <em>hold on </em>before turning back and sprinting across the hall toward a tall blond man with glasses. “Dude!” </p><p>“Oh my fuck,” Adam responded, voice just as loud and bright as Derek’s. “No fucking way!” </p><p>It took Will a moment to realize what was going on. </p><p>“Will, is that you?” Will turned then, finding an old Match of his a few steps away from where Derek and Adam were reuniting. “Hey,” he greeted with a smile, waving him over. “It’s nice to see you!” </p><p>“Hey,” Will exhaled. He felt a little overwhelmed at the sight of a familiar face. “You here to play?”</p><p>“We’ve been playing pick-up every few days for the past couple of weeks,” Justin explained, gesturing toward Adam. “That’s my Match.”</p><p>“That’s mine,” Will told him.</p><p>Justin chuckled, shaking his head a little. “Small System, I guess.” </p><p>It was nice to see Justin. </p><p>They’d been Matched for three weeks and it was mostly a lot of discussions about technology and biology with some interspersed making out toward the end. Fun conversation but nothing that really made Will long for Justin after they’d Expired. </p><p>Will had never run into any of his previous Matches before—other than Derek of course. He’d seen a couple of them out and about while with a new Match but hadn’t ever had the chance to stop and talk with one of them or see how they were after their Match had ended. </p><p>They caught up quickly and a little more quietly than Adam and Derek did who kept laughing and pushing at one another with more familiarity than Will could say he liked. It wasn’t for what felt like a considerable amount of time until Adam waved Justin toward them, and Derek turned like he was remembering Will was there too. </p><p>“This is Justin,” Adam introduced his Match to Derek fondly, and Justin’s smile changed immediately. </p><p>Will knew at once that they were happy together. Immensely, overwhelmingly happy. Justin pressed forward for a quick kiss before easing into Adam’s side like that’s where he belonged, right next to his Match. </p><p>“Will,” Derek said, finally introducing him as well. He stopped by Derek’s side but it didn’t exactly feel like his place. Like he really fit. </p><p>They did more group introductions and learning that there had been some cross-matching brought about some laughter, though it left Will feeling a little more muted than before. His excitement at playing faded the longer he looked at Derek’s eager smile while he conversed with Adam. </p><p>Derek had never looked at him like that.</p><p>Will felt quiet until much later, as they were just about to get on the ice. He’d kept to himself as they all went to get changed and geared up to play, stuck inside his own thoughts. Derek pulled him aside and for a moment Will was worried he would give some long speech about feelings, but his face was serious.</p><p>“If we don’t kick their asses then you’re sleeping on the couch tonight,” he said.</p><p>Will lit up with a surprised laugh, the fog over his mind clearing at once. “Excuse me?” </p><p>“I’m not fucking around,” Derek said. “Whether we only play today and never again or not—the d-men bond is <em>sacred</em>.”</p><p>Will exhaled, his stress from earlier fading in an instant. “I’ll do my best.”</p><p>“<em>No</em>,” Derek reprimanded. “Bro. Do you hear yourself?” </p><p>Will rolled his shoulders a few times and nodded. Derek was right—d-men bond was sacred. </p><p>“Okay, yeah,” he settled with. “Let’s kick their asses.”</p><p>Derek’s smile was blinding. “I’ve got your back,” he said earnestly.</p><p>“I’ve got yours.”</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>It was fun to get back on the ice, and more fun to do it with Justin and Adam. They were different than Will and Derek were in their Match—like most Matches were supposed to be at this point probably—but it felt genuine. It made Derek happy to see the two of them trading kisses and laughter like they weren’t worried the end of their relationship would devastate either of them. </p><p>By the time they left, he hadn’t even thought to ask how long the two of them had been Matched. </p><p>A month? Two? The familiarity in which Adam and Justin interacted felt like something deep. </p><p>Derek still felt a little out of sorts with Will. On the ice, all of it had faded away, but Derek could never shake negative feelings as easily as he wanted to.</p><p>Not even that he felt negatively, really. On this third Match with Will he thought he knew the other man well enough to accept his words from the night before, <em>from that to </em>this<em>, </em>hadn’t been entirely thought through. Whatever they were now, wherever they stood, it was better than where they began and that was what mattered. </p><p>He didn’t think they’d ever reach the point where Will got teary-eyed in the kitchen thinking about a past match together, but that was fine. Derek didn’t need that. </p><p>They could play hockey and do puzzles and it never needed to be more than that. </p><p>They’d stopped for dinner after playing, waving goodbye to Adam and Justin before eating on their own, and were now on their walk back to their Pod. They could’ve called a Cart but the sun hadn’t quite set yet, and Derek didn’t mind walking. </p><p>“How long were you and Adam Matched?” Will wondered after a bit.</p><p>“Only a week. Same as you.” </p><p>“No,” Will murmured. “This is three.” </p><p>Obviously Derek hadn’t forgotten that, but the fact that Will wanted to make a distinction out of it almost had him pause. “Well, yeah,” he agreed quietly. “But you know what I mean.” </p><p>Will returned to quiet, not acknowledging Derek’s comment. It wasn’t for another few moments did he say, “You seem more familiar than that, I guess. For only a week.” </p><p>Derek couldn’t help but smile. “It was a good week.” When the silence returned it felt heavier, but Derek couldn’t be sure why. “How about you and Justin?” </p><p>Will tripped.</p><p>Derek shot out his hand to catch him but Will was able to right himself without it, stabilizing his balance with his hands up before Derek could even touch him. </p><p>“You okay?” Derek asked.</p><p>“Sorry,” Will murmured. “Yeah, fine. I mean—we…” his face was red. “We were Matched just under a month,” he said, looking away. </p><p>Derek’s eyebrows furrowed as he considered this. He’d never heard of Coach revealing <em>just under a month </em>as an Expiry. It was either a full month (each month 30 days exactly) or a number of weeks. Sometimes days or hours, but nothing so vague. </p><p>“So…” Derek came to the realization as he said it. No wonder Will hadn’t wanted to say it. “Three weeks, then?” </p><p>This was their third week. </p><p>“Yeah,” Will answered quietly. </p><p>Three consecutive weeks. How different would their Match look right now if it had been three weeks in a row instead of three weeks here and there? </p><p>What did Will and Justin get up to in that amount of time?</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>“Today was… fun,” Will said quietly. They were on their walk home now and the sun was beginning to set, filling the sky with incredible pinks and oranges, and he wanted to stop talking about his Match with Justin. </p><p>He hadn’t been expecting to see an old Match again, but he was glad that it had been Justin. Their Match ended on good terms, and they’d had fun together while in it. But Will was worried about Derek’s prying, about what he might think when realizing they’d now spent the same amount of time together. </p><p>Besides, it’s not like he and Derek were going to be making out on the couch anytime soon. </p><p>Derek beamed. “Yeah. I guess we know how to kill time next time they Match us,” he offered. </p><p>Will startled. He already felt so out of sorts that Derek’s comment just added another bubble of anxiety to his chest. “You really think they’ll Match us again?”</p><p>“Oh. I mean… no?” He didn’t sound convinced. </p><p>Every Match that Derek and Will had, Will was positive it would be their last. But this was their third Match—the System hadn’t given any indication that it wanted to shake things up—and still Will was sure it had to be the last. Especially this time, given that it was the third. </p><p>Especially now that they were getting along. Friends.</p><p>It would be bittersweet but Will already knew he would be putting more stock into this goodbye with Derek than he had any of the previous ones. </p><p>“At least I don’t have to sleep on the couch,” Will said after a few minutes.</p><p>Derek knocked him with his elbow. “I wouldn’t have actually made you sleep on the couch, dude.” </p><p>“I’m a man of my word.”</p><p>Derek knocked him again, smiling. “It was <em>my </em>word.” </p><p>“Well it’s irrelevant because we kicked ass,” Will said. “Playing with you felt like…” Will wasn’t sure how to explain it. Every pass connected like magic and it was like Derek already knew how to anticipate his moves before Will had made them. “Just made sense.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Derek agreed softly.</p><p>Something between them still felt a little tense, though. Will glanced over at him but Derek’s expression was unreadable. It was frustrating that despite everything, Will struggled understanding Derek while it often felt Derek could read Will like a poem he’d written himself. </p><p>“Thanks,” Will said.</p><p>Derek turned to look at Will then, eyes widening. “What? For what?” </p><p>“Not giving up.”</p><p>Will still didn’t really understand why Derek hadn’t. If anyone else had been in the same situation with Will being an absolute dick of a Match, he was almost sure it wouldn’t have ended up this way. Derek just kept trying, again and again despite the fact that Will had been horrible to him, always smiling and acting as though the fighting was part of the fun. </p><p>“Well thank you for apologizing,” Derek responded quietly. “The first night.”</p><p>Will looked over again, surprised to find Derek looking a little withdrawn. He didn’t really think his apology counted for much but it was still nice to hear Derek say that it had. </p><p>“As much as you think I love making things as uncomfortable as possible,” Will started, “I really don’t.” </p><p>Derek smiled, small. “I don’t think that. I never thought that.” </p><p>“Sure.” </p><p>Derek’s smile grew. “I didn’t,” he insisted. “And besides—understanding why you acted the way you did helps. I mean—I get it. Time is probably the most valuable thing we have.” </p><p>“I think it is,” Will agreed. </p><p>Time was the only thing here in the System that really mattered. You didn’t need money to go to the Hub, nobody worked any jobs. All they had was time to figure out how to feel and to do it right. </p><p>“I’m not great at holding grudges,” Derek admitted with a little shrug. “Something tells me you are.”</p><p>“I only hold grudges that need to be held,” Will responded.</p><p>Derek’s laugh made Will’s chest grow warm. </p><p>“I like being friends with you,” Derek told him.</p><p>Will’s chest only grew warmer.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>03:01:39:21</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Spending time with Derek grew easier the more they shared space. Will hated to admit it, but there was something about Derek that made Will prefer the soft cadence of his voice instead of the silence that he’d been accustomed to on their previous Matches. </p><p>Derek never pushed. It was like he’d finally learned Will’s sweetspot and tiptoed around it, never nudging the conversation into a place that Will didn’t know what to do with it. </p><p>He liked being friends with Derek, too. Friendship was always easier than anything with romantic connotations, and Derek was a good friend. He laughed at all the right times, he actually cared enough to carry on the conversation. They found a nice flow. </p><p>After their movie ended that night they both stuck to the couch, Derek pouring them both big glasses of wine as they lazed about. </p><p>“Cats or dogs?” Derek asked.</p><p>Will tipped his head to the side, considering. “Dogs.”</p><p>“Ugh. I can’t pick.”</p><p>They’d been playing this game for about awhile now and Will couldn’t be sure that he was ready for it to end.</p><p>Will fought his smile, shaking his head. “Chocolate,” he offered, “or vanilla?”</p><p>“Chocolate,” Derek answered. </p><p>“Chocolate,” Will agreed. </p><p>“Daisies,” Derek promoted, “or tulips?”</p><p>Will squinted. “What’s the difference?”</p><p>“What!”</p><p>“They’re both flowers.”</p><p>“I could cry.” Derek turned to him, smiling, and Will’s chest grew tight. “Fine, beach or mountains?”</p><p>“Mountains,” Will answered.</p><p>“There are some places that have both of those things,” Derek told him matter-of-factly. He was still radiating warmth, like this back and forth that they were doing was giving him an immense amount of satisfaction. </p><p>“I’ve never been to any of those places.” </p><p>Always hyper aware of Derek, Will noticed as his eyes briefly flickered toward Will’s mouth. Subtle, but Will was always paying attention. </p><p>“I think you’d like them.”</p><p>“The mountains are fine on their own. And you choose <em>both </em>too many times.”</p><p>“I’m bisexual because I find beauty in all things.”</p><p>Will rolled his eyes. “That isn’t the game though.”</p><p>“Then mountains,” Derek agreed softly, his smile still doing dangerous things to Will’s chest. “I love a good view.” </p><p>“Grapes,” Will offered quickly, needing Derek to stop looking at him like that, “or grape flavored things?”</p><p>Derek’s eyebrows furrowed as he thought about the question before a laugh escaped him, mostly confused. “Grapes?” he offered. “Because then you get wine and I <em>love </em>wine.” </p><p>Ugh, Will needed to stop looking at <em>Derek </em>like that. He smiled into his shoulder, turning away from Derek so the other man couldn’t see the fond look on his face. Friendship was a good place to be, no reason to think anything else.  </p><p>“I love a good grape popsicle, though,” Will said.</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Grape flavored soda, too.” Derek wrinkled his nose a little and it only made Will’s smile grow. “I figured you’d be into that stuff,” he admitted, easing into himself. </p><p>“It’s the wrong kind of sweet, for me,” Derek said. “I like orange soda,” he added thoughtfully. “Yes I want-a, want-a Fanta.” </p><p>Will snorted, shaking his head in disbelief. “Your turn.”</p><p>“Fanta or Sunkist?”</p><p>“No. Skip. Seriously?”</p><p>Derek laughed and Will did too, forgetting just for a moment that this was supposed to be something more than it really was. When he could forget—when he wasn’t <em>thinking</em>—moments like this with Derek were at the very heart of what Will craved out of the System.</p><p>But—he was always thinking.</p><p>“Fine, fine,” Derek conceded. “How about…” </p><p>They played the game well into the evening, laughing over glasses of wine and keeping to their opposite ends of the couch. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>02:06:50:29</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Derek greeted. “Do you wanna get stoned?”</p><p>Will looked up from the book he was reading with an eyebrow arched, and for a moment Derek was sure that he would say no. But he hesitated. And in the hesitation, Derek swung one of his hands out from behind his back to reveal the bong he’d picked up from the Hub. </p><p>“I’ve never smoked weed here,” Will admitted.</p><p>Derek moved his other hand forward to reveal the small glass jar of weed he’d picked up, too. </p><p>“Here?” Derek echoed.</p><p>He tossed Will the jar who quickly set aside his book to catch it. “Yeah,” he answered quietly. He looked up to Derek as he unscrewed the lid of the jar to take a whiff.</p><p>Derek’s thoughts immediately returned to their first Match when he’d been drinking to cope, and Will had muttered something cruel about what the System thought of him in that state. The truth of it was the System probably didn’t care. People came in and smoked and drank and got wild and that was just part of it. It wasn’t like Derek wanted to spend the entire time in an altered state, but fun could be had.</p><p>Not for the first time, Derek thought about Will outside of the System. Maybe a little less uptight, more willing to be vulnerable when the stakes weren’t so high.</p><p>“Is that a yes?” Derek wondered. He didn’t want to push Will but Derek was going to smoke regardless, he figured it would just be more fun if Will joined him. Will hesitated again. “Just a little?”</p><p>Will recapped the jar and popped his shoulder into a shrug. “Yeah, okay. Why not?” Derek tried to contain his reaction but the way Will rolled his eyes was signal enough that he hadn’t been as neutral as he’d hoped. </p><p>Derek joined him on the couch and started getting set up on the coffee table while Will put his book away. He kept his standard level of quiet while Derek worked but watched with clear interest. Derek decided to give him a break and kept himself from ribbing Will despite how easy it could be. He liked maintaining the peace—he liked hanging out with Will. </p><p>After grinding the buds Derek loaded the bowl and extended the bong to Will, offering him the first hit, but he held up his hand to let Derek go first instead. Derek didn’t mind. </p><p>The first hit was like heaven. </p><p>Weed in the System was good weed. Simple as that. When he exhaled he blew the smoke outward, into the room, rather than into Will’s face like he’d been considering. </p><p>“Fuck me,” Will muttered. Derek arched an eyebrow and swung to look at Will, startled at the words. “No, not—” his face grew red as he reached for the bong himself. “It’s just been awhile since I smoked,” he said. </p><p>Derek’s high hit him immediately, the small worry that was always quietly wrapped around his heart disappearing into the soft purring of a kitten on his chest, comfort overtaking his lingering perpetual anxiety. He turned to look at Will and he felt closer, like the space between them had faded.</p><p>His eyes dropped down to Will’s mouth, just for a moment.</p><p>Will took out the bowl and emptied it before loading it with a smaller hit than the first one Derek had packed. He took his pull without ceremony, eyes focused on the glass piece instead of on Derek, and when he exhaled his smoke it joined Derek’s in the air, hanging thick above them in the room. </p><p><em>Fuck me, </em>Derek thought.</p><p>He shook his head and sunk down a little deeper onto the couch. Will coughed a few times which triggered something in Derek, sending him up and off the couch so he could get them both some water.</p><p>When he returned, Will had packed the bowl for him again. </p><p>“Here,” Derek said, offering the water, and Will accepted it with a small but grateful smile. </p><p>“Thanks.” He was still coughing a little but after a long drink he settled down. “Another?”</p><p>They smoked well into the evening, taking turns as they passed the bong back and forth. Their Pod was hazy and Derek had Coach put on some music and he was more relaxed during this Match than he’d been in a long time. He tipped his head over to look at Will, both of them spread out on the couch, and Will tipped his head to look back. </p><p>“Hi,” Derek greeted. Will pressed his mouth together like he was trying not to smile, which only made Derek’s smile grow. “Whatcha thinking about?” </p><p>Will’s pinch smile faded immediately. “Nothing.” </p><p>“Oookay.” </p><p>Will tipped his head away again and sighed, melting down into the couch more. “I shouldn’t have said what I did,” Will murmured once he was looking away. “Our first Match. When you were drinking. I… know what the System does.” Derek blinked a few times, surprised at this sudden confession. He kept his eyes on Will while Will kept his eyes down toward the ground, his eyebrows furrowed as he spoke. “You were right,” Will carried on quietly. “That we’re just supposed to be…” he trailed off, sighing. “Ourselves.”</p><p>Derek didn’t know what to say. Mostly he wanted Will to keep talking, but his tongue felt a little heavy in his mouth too. Still, after a few moments of silence without Will speaking, Derek said, “Did you miss weed that much?” </p><p>Will exhaled a laugh and looked back to Derek, the serious expression on his face fading. “Maybe.” </p><p>It wasn’t really an apology, but Derek figured he didn’t really need one. Will had clearly been making steps to close the bridge between them, no matter how uncomfortable, and honestly Derek was still riding the high of Will’s initial apology at the start of this Match. </p><p>“Thanks,” Derek said. “I was thinking about that.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Will murmured. He shook his head and moved to stand. “I’ll be right back,” he said. </p><p>Derek nodded, figuring Will had to use the bathroom or something, but after half an hour had passed and Will hadn’t returned, he decided to go searching. It took no time at all to find Will in the kitchen, hunched over a gigantic mixing bowl where he was beating batter furiously. </p><p>Derek leaned against the doorway to keep himself up. He stood there for a few minutes, just watching. Will was completely fixated on his task and it brought another smile to Derek’s face.</p><p>“What are you doing?” he finally asked.</p><p>Will’s startled reaction was so dramatic that Derek’s surprise kept him from laughing. At the sound of Derek’s voice Will jumped and flung his hands out, the giant mixing bowl being sent off balance and onto the stove, spilling batter all over every burner, every knob, and all of the buttons on the panel that would operate the oven. </p><p>“Holy shit,” Derek said.</p><p>Will was frozen, staring at the enormous mess he’d just made.</p><p>“Oh my god,” Will responded. He looked up to Derek, eyes wide and red from all of their smoking. “I was making cupcakes.” </p><p>Derek assessed the mess and finally let out a short laugh, mostly still stunned himself. “How many?!” He slowly stepped into the kitchen so he could better see the amount of batter wasted. “Five dozen?”</p><p>“Okay, like you wouldn’t be able to finish five dozen cupcakes before the end of the Match,” Will said with a roll of his watery eyes. </p><p>Derek swept into the kitchen on unsteady legs to help clean up the mess, scooping up some stray batter with his thumb for a taste and moaning around his finger. “Fuck,” Derek groaned. “I can’t believe I ruined the cupcakes!” </p><p>Will scrambled for some paper towels but laughed as he grabbed them, turning back to Derek with a shake of his head and a smile as warm as the oven, pre-heating for the cupcakes. “Yes,” he encouraged. “You ruined them.” </p><p>Derek extended his pointer finger and scooped up another glob, this one from the counter. “Did you pick chocolate on purpose?” he wondered. </p><p>“There’s enough batter to salvage,” Will said seriously after righting the overturned bowl and assessing the remnants. “At least a dozen. And yeah,” he looked up, locking eyes with Derek. “We both prefer it.”</p><p>Another swipe of batter while he held Will’s gaze. “Mmm.” Will broke eye contact first but Derek took the paper towels from him before he could start working. “Let me help,” Derek said quietly.</p><p>It took much longer than it should’ve to clean everything up, but even stoned Will was smart enough to get the cupcakes they could salvage into the oven before really getting to work. Once they’d finished, the first batch of cupcakes were ready to come out. </p><p>They returned to the couch to eat a few of them and take a few more hits, and sometime after that Derek dozed off feeling totally and completely sated. When he woke what must have been a few hours later, confused where he was and what had happened, it all returned to him at the sight of Will asleep on the other end of the couch. </p><p>Derek sunk back down with a smile, still somewhere in the clouds, and drifted back off to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>19:14:19</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“How do you do that?” Will asked. </p><p>Derek looked up from the puzzle and reached for the mug that Will was extending to him. He’d made tea again and Derek had tried not watching him as Will studiously studied the packaging to make sure he boiled the water to the correct temperature and followed all of the proper steps. It seemed very intense to Will for some reason, which only made Derek smile.</p><p>“Do what?”</p><p>“Is it luck? Puzzles,” he elaborated. “You’re always just… sliding pieces together.”</p><p>He blew on the tea and got a nice waft of lavender, perfect for sleep. He couldn’t believe they were already on their last night together again. </p><p>“I don’t know,” Derek admitted, kind of thrown off by the question. “I guess I just have an eye for it.” </p><p>Will looked down toward the puzzle with a frown, maybe scanning for a piece. “You think we can finish it before tomorrow?”</p><p>Derek’s smile grew. “I know we can.” </p><p>Will grabbed his Coach device, always just out of reach, and tapped the screen to reveal the countdown. The sight of only hours left made Derek sadder than he’d realized it would. He looked back up at Will, finding the man studiously scanning the pieces that they had scattered on the table. </p><p>For one ridiculous moment Derek thought of pushing him just far enough to make him blush and ask him what it meant, but eventually decided against it. As much as he’d thought of kissing Will during this Match while pretending he wasn’t, Derek knew that wasn’t what was in store for them. Will had made it abundantly clear and, besides, Derek enjoyed what they’d built now. </p><p>It maybe wasn’t the best friendship, but it was theirs. </p><p>No reason to screw it up with less than 24 hours to go because Derek’s heart was too big for anything good to come of it. </p><p>“Stop that,” Will reprimanded as Derek found another match. </p><p>“Do you want us to finish the puzzle or not?” Derek asked with a laugh. </p><p>He did his best to slide a few pieces Will’s way every now and then, but Derek couldn’t really help it that Will wasn’t as naturally talented in puzzling as he may have wanted to be. He didn’t mind. Whether they actually finished the puzzle or not, it was nice to spend time together like this.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>08:48:08</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>The last morning of their Match, Derek woke to Will’s soft voice. “Hey. You up?” Derek blinked a few times and rolled in bed, scanning for Will who had just stuck his head back into their room. His smile was small and Derek smiled, too. “What do you want for breakfast?” </p><p>“You gonna bring it to me in bed?” Derek rasped. His voice was still thick with sleep, but Will’s smile only grew. “What are my options?” </p><p>“Whatever.”</p><p>“Mmf.” Derek flopped back down into the pillows, thinking. “Cinnamon rolls?” His answer was muffled into the pillow, but Will made a noise of affirmation anyway. When Derek looked up again the doorway was empty and if he listened hard enough he could hear Will messing around in the kitchen.</p><p>Another end to another Match. Another final day with Will.</p><p>Derek blinked himself more awake and climbed out of bed, rubbing his eyes as he stumbled out to join Will in the kitchen.</p><p>“I love it when you cook for me,” Derek greeted sleepily.</p><p>“Coffee, too.”</p><p>Derek’s smile widened as Will shuffled across the room to slide a fresh mug to where Derek sat. “My hero.” </p><p>“What do you want to do today?” Will asked as he got to work on breakfast.</p><p>Derek sipped his drink, fighting his smile. “What, together?” Will glanced over his shoulder at Derek and then back to where he was icing the rolls. Before he could comment Derek rushed, “We could just stay in. Watch a movie, or something. Maybe take a walk.” </p><p>Will was quiet for another moment before looking at Derek over his shoulder another time. “Yeah, that sounds nice.” </p><p>“Finish off that bottle of wine from the other night,” Derek added. “And all the cupcakes.”</p><p>Will snorted. “Sure.” </p><p>Derek was really going to hate when this one ended.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>10:15</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>This had to be it. </p><p>Three strikes and you’re out. Will knew, deep down, that this had to be his last Match with Derek. </p><p>He couldn’t believe he’d wasted them all. </p><p>Derek dawdled close to him, close enough that their hands could brush, and Will folded his arms over his chest before it could even happen. He didn’t know why the System had done this to him—why it had shown him this wonderful man who was prone to giving second chances and only letting Will have it for a few days. </p><p>The Carts arrived in the distance, slowly rolling across the horizon toward where they stood.  </p><p>“Do you think we’ll Match again?” Derek asked quietly.</p><p><em>No</em>, Will thought. (<em>Yes</em>, he hoped.)</p><p>“I don’t know,” he answered. When he looked up, Derek was smiling. “Don’t…” Will warned, but Derek’s smile grew. </p><p>He nudged Will with his elbow and said, “You’ll miss me.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Will muttered, exasperated, but Derek softened. </p><p>“I’ll miss you,” he said. Will couldn’t even look at him. Derek nudged him again, gentle. “Until next time?” he asked. </p><p>Will knew there wouldn’t be a next time. Not again. But he nodded anyway, offering Derek a tight smile. He owed it to him after all this time anyway—they were friends now. </p><p>“Sure,” he answered. “Until then.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>MATCH COUNT</strong>
</p><p>Will: 12 | Derek: 17</p><p> </p><p>“I just think a full twenty four hours would be beneficial for <em>everyone</em>,” Will explained under his breath as Coach led him to his next Match.</p><p>One night to play sad songs and say goodbye and actually think through everything that the last Match had taught him. Why the System rushed him to his next Match without allowing him to even fully check into the Singles Dormitory for a night he had yet to understand.</p><p>“<em>Everything happens for a reason</em>.”</p><p>Coach was incredibly unhelpful. </p><p>“Are we still going the right way?” he grumbled. </p><p>Coach led him on a twisting journey through the tables of Waldo’s and Will followed along without thinking too hard about where his feet were taking him. His last Match hadn’t been that spectacular, really, but he felt like he was still grieving a goodbye he didn’t get to properly say. </p><p>His third Match with Derek had only been one before the last, but Will’s chest was still hollow from it. He’d spent the entire last Match regretting the brief moments of happiness that found him, feeling like he didn’t deserve it or that they had been unearned. It was confusing and complicated and all Will really wanted to do was drink a lot of wine and sleep for a couple of days—not meet another Match.</p><p>But at the end of it there would be peace, he reminded himself. At the end of this System he would find peace and there would be love and it wouldn’t weigh on him like it’s weighing on him now. </p><p>That was how the System worked. You had to say goodbye to people, even if you weren’t ready.</p><p><em>“You’ve arrived</em>.” </p><p>Will looked up at the table that Coach had stopped him in front of. </p><p>“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” </p><p>It was Derek. Again.</p><p>Derek had been looking down at the menu when Will approached and the way he lit up upon seeing Will’s face made Will blush more than he would care to admit. His charming smile nearly brought tears to Will’s eyes and he couldn’t understand why he was overwhelmed with the feeling of wanting to cry. </p><p>It wasn’t possible. How was this possible?</p><p>“Poindexter,” Derek greeted with a grin. “You know, I’ll be honest, I had a feeling it’d be you again.” Will dropped into the seat across from him with a huff, pulling his Coach out of his pocket as he did so and placing it on the table where Derek’s was waiting too. “It’s always this restaurant when it’s you.”</p><p>“<em>Match confirmed.” </em></p><p>Will frowned, disoriented. “You start in other restaurants?” </p><p>Derek chuckled, leaning backward in his seat as he appraised Will. “Don’t you?” </p><p>Will shook his head a little, mostly in disbelief that Derek was across from him again. He reached for his glass of water and took a long drink, trying to steady whatever inside of him had started shaking. “I’m starting to think you’re just my palate cleanser at this point.”</p><p>“That is quite frankly <em>so rude</em>,” Derek responded. “I have a lot of flavor.” </p><p>Will rolled his eyes. “Can we just—” he reached for Coach, and Derek’s easy smile faded as he nodded. </p><p>“We know what it’s gonna say,” Derek murmured. He reached for his own device, triggering the countdown, but even before Coach had finished Will knew that Derek was right. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>One Week</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Across from him, Derek sighed. He slid his Coach back into his pocket with a muted look of sadness that made Will feel slightly uneasy. </p><p>He waited for Derek to speak, but instead of saying anything he reached for his glass to take a drink of water. </p><p>“Do you think it’s playing with us?” Will finally asked.</p><p>Derek blinked a few times before his eyebrows drew together. “What—the System?” </p><p>Will shrugged a little. “This is our fourth weeklong Match,” he said. </p><p>He needed to make sense of this. When their Match ended last time, Will was sure he wouldn’t see Derek again. Nothing had changed.</p><p>Only, he’d spent more of his last Match thinking about Derek than focused on the man that he was paired with. And seeing Derek across from him now was beginning to make his heart race.</p><p>Nothing had changed?</p><p>“I figure that’s just how the System works sometimes,” Derek answered slowly. “Do you think it’s playing with us?”</p><p>Will shrugged again, feeling like his skin was too big for his body. “Feels more like a glitch than anything,” he murmured.</p><p>Derek startled, eyes blowing wide. “You think our repeated Match is a <em>glitch</em>?”</p><p>“Relax, Derek,” Will rushed before he could take the comment and run away with it. “I’m not saying that I’m upset to be Matched with you—okay? It just feels strange to me.” He hesitated but Derek didn’t say anything else. “Doesn’t it feel strange to you?” </p><p>Derek blinked at him for a little bit before saying, “No, Will. That’s just how the System works. Isn’t that what Coach always says?” </p><p>Will hated when his own words were used against him. “I guess.”</p><p>“Not like there’s a person you can complain to,” he muttered. </p><p>“I wouldn’t be complaining,” Will insisted, though he was starting to feel himself get a little frustrated. “Just—aren’t you tired?”</p><p>“Of… Matching with you?” </p><p>Will threw his hands up with a scoff. “What else does the System need to learn about this, Derek? Don’t you think it’s figured out how the two of us operate by now?” Derek’s face was still wracked with confusion. He was looking across the table at Will like he was figuring out what he wanted to say before deciding not to respond at all. “I just don’t understand.”</p><p>“Maybe we’re not supposed to.” Will sighed again and Derek looked back down to his menu. “I don’t understand either, okay? I’m sorry you’re upset.”</p><p>“I’m not—!” Will looked up, exasperated. “Derek, I just said I wasn’t upset.” </p><p>“Well you seem pretty upset.” </p><p>“I’m just confused!” His voice was a touch louder than it needed to be and a few patrons nearby glanced toward their table with a scowl. “I only had one Match in-between,” Will murmured, lowering his voice as he settled back into his skin. “That was the shortest it’d ever been. I was caught off guard.” </p><p>When he looked up, Derek had propped himself up on his elbow, leaning into his hand with a curious look on his face. “I had three,” he told him. </p><p>Will was still trying to figure out how to reclaim his balance. “Any of them longer than a week?” he wondered. Derek’s smile grew a little bit then and he nodded. The motion of it set Will forthright once again. “Yeah?” </p><p>“Not by much,” Derek admitted, his smile warm and familiar. Will had missed him. “But yeah.” </p><p>“Well congratulations,” he said</p><p>“I think I almost believe you.”</p><p>“I’m being genuine,” Will said, finally letting his own smile grow a little, “so you should, asshole.” </p><p>Derek’s smile grew too and that feeling from earlier returned—like Will could cry.</p><p>Another week with Derek. </p><p>What the hell was it supposed to mean?</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>06:21:54:31</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Will was Derek’s favorite repeat Match, easily. Maybe his favorite Match overall. </p><p>No use in denying it anymore. When he looked up from his menu and saw that Will had stopped at his table, something incredulous on his face as Coach confirmed their Match, Derek’s heart sang. He was immediately grateful to have Will as a Match again, and even though he knew it wouldn’t be a long Match he was sure it would be a good one. </p><p>They were back in their Pod now and Will insisted on making a batch of cookies before they went to sleep. </p><p>“The whole place’ll smell sweet then,” Will explained. “And I want chocolate.” </p><p>“That’s new,” Derek noted. </p><p>“I got in the habit of it last Match.” Derek was so happy to be back with Will that even thinking of him with another man did nothing to dampen his spirit. “If we save dough,” Will explained, “and just make a few tonight, then we’ll have a couple fresh cookies every night.”</p><p>“Okay.” Derek nodded, smiling. “I’m in.” </p><p>Will let Derek add as many chocolate chips as he wanted, but he prepared the cookie dough other than that. Derek didn’t mind. Even though it was their first night together this Match, it felt like Derek had just returned home. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>Will woke up the first morning of their Match with a tight chest.</p><p>He hopped out of bed and went straight for the kitchen to make coffee, hoping nothing about Derek’s morning routine had changed too drastically and that he’d have the next few hours alone to sort his thoughts out alone. </p><p>Here they were again. Another week with Derek, another chance to say the things that he hadn’t been able to say in the previous Match. Every time they were together again Will felt a little looser, a little more vulnerable, and this Match he felt a heaping of guilt slathered in with everything else.</p><p>Being with Derek another time, no matter how brief, brought about some gratitude. At least there was familiarity there and Will wouldn’t have to spend another week adjusting or being uncomfortable around another stranger. But still—why so soon? And why only a week? </p><p>Between regretting how they’d said goodbye (or rather, lack thereof) Will had thought about Derek a lot in the Match he’d had in between. It had been five weeks and though Will’s Match had been kind, he hadn’t been… Derek.</p><p>Every time he caught himself with that thought, Will would reprimand himself. </p><p>Derek was gone and whatever relationship he had with Derek was insignificant anyway. It didn’t matter that he ached in unfamiliar ways or found himself wishing things were different. The System would carry on. Another Match would roll through. Derek would be gone again.</p><p>But Derek wasn’t actually gone, and things could be different, and Will didn’t know what it meant or what to do now. </p><p>Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He knew he wanted to apologize. Really apologize. </p><p>This was their fourth Match and honestly Will should have done it a long time ago. He’d given half-assed apologies here and there but it didn’t feel like enough. He remembered staying up late to make sure Derek got in safe that first Match and feeling so frustrated at his retreat to the couch. Will had thrown up walls without bothering to explain why and got defensive when Derek called him out on it, picking fights and making it harder than it needed to be. </p><p>At times, Will still didn’t think he really deserved Derek’s forgiveness for it all. </p><p>Thankfully, Derek didn’t stumble out of their room until mid-morning, and by then Will had breakfast and coffee ready for him. The grateful smile on Derek’s face as he settled down at the table made Will’s chest grow warm. </p><p>They puttered around the Pod that morning, lingering in the kitchen until it was basically lunch, just catching up about their time apart. While Will had only had one Match in-between, Derek had had three. Two women, one man, all varying lengths of time. Will tried not lingering in the details that were shared but he couldn’t help but imagine Derek in another Pod, on another Match.</p><p>Will only knew him like this. He wondered what other sides of Derek looked like when he wasn’t there to see. </p><p>“What are you like on other Matches?” Will wondered idly while Derek cleaned up their dishes. It was their unspoken agreement, that when Will would cook that Derek would clean. </p><p>Derek laughed, looking over his shoulder where he was washing dishes in the sink with a smile. “What do you mean?” he asked. “I’m like this.” </p><p>Will rolled his eyes, shaking his head a little. “Okay.”</p><p>“What are you like?” Derek pushed back. “Are you not like this?” Will folded his arms over his chest and didn’t give an answer, which only made Derek laugh again. “I think I’m like this at least,” Derek added. </p><p>“Do your other Matches cook for you?” Will asked.</p><p>“Not like you,” Derek told him. He set the dishes in the rack to dry and turned back to Will, his smile still warm. “I guess we normally take turns,” he explained. “Sometimes I help folks but it’s never as good as anything you’ve made. I can’t cook to save my life.” </p><p>“Cooking is therapeutic,” Will told him.</p><p>“So is therapy.” Will rolled his eyes and Derek’s smile grew. He leaned back against the sink and asked, “Do you think Coach is supposed to be our therapist?”</p><p>“I hate that and I really sincerely hope not.” Derek chuckled, shaking his head a little. “What’s your go-to meal?” he asked. “That you make on Matches.”</p><p>Will’s was homemade pizza. They’d had it a handful of times during their own Matches, but because Derek didn’t cook often he couldn’t be sure what his was.</p><p>“I’d rather just order something from the Hub,” Derek said. Coach could have anything delivered, and meals were among the top things that got dropped off. </p><p>“Pasta?” Will wondered. Pasta was easy to cook, and there were so many different kinds.</p><p>“Eh, sure. Mac and cheese is great.”</p><p>Will frowned. “What about pancakes? You can make pancakes, right?” He watched as Derek tipped his head to the side, considering an answer but not actually giving one. “Derek.”</p><p>“Look…”</p><p>“You don’t know how to make pancakes?”</p><p>Derek extended his hands out innocently. “You just add water to the powder mix, right?”</p><p>“Oh my fucking God, <em>no</em>.” Will found this highly unacceptable. “Okay—that’s enough free labor.”</p><p>Derek startled. “What?”</p><p>“If you want to eat, you have to help in the kitchen. You need to learn how to cook.”</p><p>“I know <em>how </em>to cook, I am just not <em>good </em>at it.” He pushed away from the sink to join Will at the table and said, “You’re being ridiculous.”</p><p>“It’s never a bad time to learn.”</p><p>“You’ve cooked for me for literally every Match. Even when you hated me!”</p><p>“I didn’t—” Will lifted his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Derek—”</p><p>“I know, I know,” he said as he settled down in his seat, “you didn’t <em>hate </em>me.”</p><p>Will sighed again, frowning. “Mostly I felt bad that you’d resigned yourself to the couch,” he explained. “So I overcompensated. And anyway, I like cooking.” </p><p>He hadn’t always enjoyed it but something about being in the kitchen brought a calm to Will that he couldn’t find in other places. When he’d started baking with Eric it had unlocked something even deeper within him that he hadn’t realized needed attention. Using his hands, creating something delicious to share with others, it was one of Will’s favorite things.</p><p>He’d never really taught someone else how to cook though. Even baking with Derek before felt different, somehow. More like Derek was there while Will did all the work, not like he was teaching him.</p><p>“We’ll do pancakes tomorrow morning,” Will said, mentally planning it out already. “From scratch. French toast the day after.”</p><p>“I can make some really good toast,” Derek agreed.</p><p>“No, <em>French </em>toast, Derek.” Derek smiled like he was pushing Will’s buttons on purpose. “Fried rice?” he wondered, like he was making a list. “Chilli? God, definitely chilli.”</p><p>“Oh, definitely. I make some mean chicken tenders, too. I can set the oven to the right temperature and everything.”</p><p>“You drive me nuts,” Will muttered. </p><p>“Oh—nuts! Could we get some for the pancakes? Maybe the French toast?”</p><p>They ribbed back and forth for a little bit and Will let himself loosen up. “I’m not always going to be around to take care of you,” Will teased, and Derek pouted. “Shh. I’m not making you do it alone.” </p><p>He’d only been joking but still, from then, Derek grew a little quiet. </p><p>Their teasing died down but their conversation kept on, only Derek’s smiles didn’t come as easily and his laughter was nearly nonexistent. </p><p>He kept it together through the start of the afternoon and their quick lunch, again prepared by Will, but Will was paying more attention than usual and could tell when Derek finally hit his limit. Derek excused himself quietly, explaining the need for an afternoon walk, and while Will chirped him about having to handle the dishes he didn’t actually mind. </p><p>It wasn’t until the Pod was quiet did Will really feel it—that something was off. </p><p>He did the dishes like he said he would and then paced around a little bit, restless. He found a new puzzle tucked away on one of the shelves and dumped it out on the coffee table, hoping Derek would be interested in joining him whenever he got back. Soon his own feet grew antsy but he didn’t want to leave the Pod until Derek returned, worried that Derek might be upset if he got back to find the place empty. </p><p>Derek didn’t return for a few hours and when he did he had a bag full of books hanging off of his shoulder. </p><p>“From the Hub,” he explained when Will asked. “I figured I’ll still have some time to kill, or whatever.” </p><p>Will saw right through his fake chill. </p><p>“What happened earlier?” he asked, a little confused. “I thought we were having a nice time.”</p><p>Derek was quiet again then, like he had been that morning. “We were,” he answered. </p><p>“So… did I do something to upset you?”</p><p>“No,” Derek rushed. “Honest.” </p><p>“Because I feel like I upset you.”</p><p>“You didn’t,” Derek insisted, but his voice still sounded a little incredulous. “I’m sorry—I just… know you like your alone time.”</p><p>Will blinked a few times. “Oh.” </p><p>Yeah. He… did. Usually. Any other time he’d love Derek leaving the Pod—Will couldn’t believe how caught up in Derek’s behavior that he’d started growing concerned. Nothing was wrong—Derek was just being considerate. And Will… didn’t… want him to leave?</p><p>Fuck, this was not good.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Derek said again, voice still quiet. Will shook his head, mostly confused with himself but not wanting Derek to feel like he had any blame here. “I picked one up for you?” he offered quietly. </p><p>“One… what? One—book? You got me a book?”</p><p>Derek shrugged the bag from his shoulder and dug around until he pulled out a thin red paperback. “You don’t have to read it,” Derek insisted as he handed it over to him. “But—I’d like to. Either after you, or—I mean, I guess we don’t have a lot of time, but…”</p><p>“<em>All About Love</em>,” Will read slowly. “You got me a self-help book?”</p><p>Derek burst with a laugh then. “No! Bell Hooks is incredible—I really think you’ll enjoy it. But seriously, you don’t have to.” </p><p>Will looked down at the book and then up again before pulling it close to him. “Thanks Derek,” he murmured. Then, before he could lose the nerve, “You don’t have to run out like that.” Derek fell quiet again, nodding slightly. “If I need space I’ll say something, yeah? This is your place too.”</p><p>“Sure,” Derek said softly. </p><p>“Unless you really just hate the idea of cooking that much, then—” another laugh bubbled out of Derek, cutting Will’s sentence short. “I started another puzzle,” he said. “While you were out.” </p><p>“You get the border finished yet?” </p><p>“Not yet.” </p><p>Derek’s smile felt unearned, but Will welcomed it all the same. “Well so then let’s go,” Derek said. More tension rolled off Will’s back the longer Derek was in their Pod. </p><p>This Match was going to be a good one.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>05:23:49:02</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>If this were any other Match, this would be a date, but Derek was trying to ignore that thought as best he could while stretching out on the blanket beside Will.</p><p>They’d packed a nice picnic lunch for an afternoon by the lake and both brought along something to read. It was always nicer to enjoy the sunshine with someone else, and Derek was happy. </p><p>More time with Will.</p><p>After all of their repeated Matches, Derek had grown familiar with their comfortable silence. Originally it frustrated Derek, thinking that Will was intentionally shutting him out, but he knew now that wasn’t true. Derek read his book and Will laid beside him doing the same, separate but together, and it was one of the best ways Derek could possibly think to spend the afternoon.</p><p>They’d been stretched out for a few hours, Derek really getting lost in his book, when Will shifted on the blanket and drew Derek’s attention just for a moment.</p><p>“Derek,” Will murmured suddenly, causing him to look up from his book. He found Will sitting up, his own book closed, a serious composure on his face. </p><p>“What’s up?” </p><p>“Our first couple of Matches,” he started slowly. “I wasn’t great to you.” </p><p>Derek leaned back, eyes returning to his book in an attempt to get away from this conversation. He felt like he and Will were in a good place now—he wanted to put all of that behind them and wasn’t sure where this was coming from.</p><p>“Yeah,” he murmured. </p><p>“I just hope you know—that’s not who I am anymore. How I want to treat people…” </p><p>Derek looked up again as Will trailed off, nodding. “I know that,” Derek told him. And it was true—he’d seen it himself. He hadn’t been able to see it every step of the way, obviously, but over the span of their last couple Matches Will had softened, changing in small but important ways. </p><p>“The pressure then… it felt different,” Will carried on. “I’m not trying to make an excuse,” he insisted. “I know it was wrong. I just want you to know why.” Derek nodded a little himself but Will carried on, seemingly not even having noticed. “I think about it a lot—how I was then—<em>who</em> I was, and I feel awful.”</p><p>“Will—”</p><p>“I just wish that I could have been better to you.” </p><p>Derek’s chest roared with heat. Will still hadn’t said <em>I’m sorry </em>but he didn’t need to; <em>I wish that I could have been better to you </em>was all Derek had ever wanted to hear. </p><p>“You’re great to me now,” Derek said quietly. Will rolled his eyes a little bit but Derek meant that. “You’ve apologized before,” Derek told him, his tone soft, but Will tipped his head to the side. </p><p>“Was it enough?” Derek nodded immediately. “I just wanted to be sure you knew.” </p><p>Derek smiled. “I know,” he promised.</p><p>Sometimes he wasn’t sure that Will had really been awake during all of this, that their repeated Matches hadn’t been making an impact on him the way it did with Derek. They’d built a nice little friendship that Derek felt comfortable in. That was no small feat.</p><p>But often, Derek wanted more. </p><p>He’d first noticed it a few times in their last Match, really. The desire for something romantic with Will had crept up startlingly. Derek would realize he was staring at Will’s lips, or fantasizing about his hands, and he'd have to take a moment to remind himself that it wasn’t really an option. </p><p>This Match was wrought with instances of yearning. </p><p>The somersault in his stomach at the first sight of Will in the Hub. The shuffle under his skin as they crawled into bed their first night and Derek found himself afraid to get too close but craving it all the same. Waking before Will in the morning and smiling at the sun bouncing off his ginger hair before sinking back into their shared warmth. </p><p>Most recently, now. Derek wanted to crawl across the blanket that they’d spread out and cradle Will’s face between his hands, kissing him until neither of them had realized their Match had run out of time and the System had collapsed around them. </p><p>Small, sweet moments. Moments where Derek ached with desire. </p><p>“I like this,” Derek told him. “What we have.” </p><p><em>Friends</em> didn’t feel right anymore, but certainly something past just Matches.</p><p>Will’s smile was hesitant but warm and his eyes were somewhere else completely, clouded over like a storm was brewing in the distance. “Yeah.” </p><p>“What don’t you like?” Derek pushed.</p><p>Will’s eyes focused in again as he answered, “We don’t know which will be our last.” </p><p>Derek startled, feeling slightly off balance. He finally set his book aside completely and shifted so he could look more directly at Will, propping himself up on his hands. “What happened to me being your palate cleanser?” he wondered. </p><p>Will shrugged. “I can still think that and wish I would know when to really say goodbye to you.” </p><p>Derek wanted to reach for him. “Will…” He wasn’t sure what to say to follow that. </p><p>“I thought last time…” Will trailed off, looking up. He’d set his own book aside a while ago but was fiddling with the pages of it now, maybe to keep his hands busy. “I figured last time was it.” </p><p>“Really?”</p><p>Will shrugged a little. “It was our third.”</p><p>He’d given reason to a System that seemed to have none. Just because people gave value to threes didn’t mean Systems would. Derek had never put any stock into things like that here.</p><p>“I always figured I’d see you again.”</p><p>“You did?”</p><p>“Of course,” Derek answered. “I mean I’d hoped.” </p><p>Will’s eyes shot elsewhere and Derek’s stomach clenched. He worried, briefly, that Will would read into that—but even if he did it wouldn’t matter. </p><p>Their Match would end again in a few days. Will could (and probably would) ignore it. </p><p>“Well stop hoping,” he murmured in a voice that carried the weight of a joke, but was still dry. “Maybe that’s why we’re here again.”</p><p>The laugh that unearthed itself from Derek came as a surprise to him. “You think the System gives a shit about what we want?” Derek asked. </p><p>Will looked up again then, their eyes meeting for just a moment before Will glanced down toward Derek’s mouth. The air between them stilled. “It might,” Will said softly. </p><p>Derek swallowed. “And what do you want?” he prompted, just as soft, only for Will’s gaze to fall completely. </p><p>“To get out of here already,” he murmured. </p><p>Derek wondered what Will’s Ultimate Match would be like. </p><p>Would he be a little more reserved, like Will, or totally out of their mind? Would they want to talk about how they felt more often, or less? Would they be better in the kitchen than Derek? </p><p>Whoever he was, Derek hoped he would make Will happy. Will really did deserve it. </p><p>“One day,” Derek murmured quietly. </p><p>With that, Will returned to his book. It took Derek a few moments to do the same, wishing he was brave enough to say something else.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>03:23:45:12</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“Should we put cookies in?” Derek asked.</p><p>They’d spent nearly the entire day together again and Will wasn’t in any rush to get to bed that night, but Derek’s question still made his chest restrict. They’d been spread out at their puzzling table working diligently for some time now, so the question wasn’t completely out of the blue. Even so, it made Will’s hands sweat.</p><p>“I can do it,” Will told him. </p><p>He pushed out of his chair to head for the kitchen while Derek smiled gratefully at him. </p><p>As they already had made dough previously all Will had to do was turn on the oven to preheat and prepare the tray before returning to Derek. Will watched him slip a few more pieces into place before the oven was ready, so he returned to slip the tray in. </p><p>It wasn’t until all four cookies were out did Derek turn to him. </p><p>“So,” Derek said, mouth full. “Cookies?”</p><p>“What about them?”</p><p>Derek shrugged, nonplussed. This was their fourth night of the Match, which also meant their fourth night with cookies. “I like it.” </p><p>“You just like sweets before bed.”</p><p>“So?”</p><p>Will smiled, returning to placing another piece in the puzzle. “Well so do I,” he eventually said. He didn’t think Derek would go searching for a deeper meaning past that. </p><p>Will would never admit to Derek that the habit was born out of not wanting to share evening tea with someone else. Will needed to do something with his hands to keep his mind from missing someone he didn’t think he had the right to. </p><p>The Match that came after Derek had been fine. A kind man that made Will smile but who reminded him of Derek in all the worst ways. He would ramble about literature that Will had never read or sleep in a little later than what Will would consider <em>morning</em>, but it always rubbed him the wrong way. Not that he’d been unsettled or upset with the man, but he knew that his irritation came from the fact that it <em>wasn’t </em>Derek. </p><p>“Not cupcakes?” Derek asked with a mouthful. Will rolled his eyes which made Derek’s smile grow. “You know, maybe if you hadn’t made so much batter it wouldn’t have made such a mess when—”</p><p>“You came in and scared me on purpose?” Will interrupted pointedly. He knew Derek hadn’t been trying to scare him—last Match when he’d been baked he just really wanted to bake and, fine, made way more batter than necessary when Derek had startled him—but he wouldn’t back down now. </p><p>Derek’s responding laughter finally brought a smile to Will’s face too. </p><p>“On purpose!”</p><p>“I know your tricks,” Will said.</p><p>“I think about that night all the time,” Derek told him with a grin.</p><p>Will’s entire chest grew hot in a flash and he turned away, busying himself with tidying up the dishes. “Well don’t.”</p><p>Still, Derek giggled, and Will hated the way his heart somersaulted in his chest at the sound of it. </p><p>“Sooo many cupcakes.” </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>03:06:30:09</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>It has been indicated that both of you are invited to a Farewell Party</em>.” </p><p>Derek burst into giggles at once.</p><p>“What?” Will demanded. He paused the movie they’d been spread out on the couch watching so he could turn to Derek.</p><p>“Usually they’re for old Matches right?” Derek asked, still grinning. “What if we’ve had the same Match.”</p><p>Will rolled his eyes, leaning forward and grabbing his Coach device and tapping through to see if he could find any details. It wasn’t the first Farewell Party that Will had gone to but most of the time it had been because his Match knew the person who was leaving. He’d never received a direct invitation before. </p><p>Unfortunately the invitation was much like that of a new Match. If they wanted to get more information they’d have to go to the event.</p><p>“Should we go?” Will wondered. It was optional, and honestly the Farewell Parties always made him feel a little weird. </p><p>“What else are we doing?” Derek pushed back.</p><p>“Watching this movie.”</p><p>“That you’ve already paused—of course we should go! We were invited!” </p><p>Will supposed that was true. “I don’t think I want one,” he said as Derek catapulted off the couch to their room to get ready.</p><p>“What?” he called over his shoulder. “Why not?”</p><p>“I guess it depends who it’s with,” Will considered, tipping his head to the side. It was easier to talk about this with Derek in the other room, even though they had to raise their voices to hear each other. “But—I really just think I’ll want to get out of here. No one I need to say goodbye to.”</p><p>Derek reappeared, sticking his head out of the doorway with a fake, pouty frown. “Not even me?” Will rolled his eyes again and Derek laughed, returning to their room to finish getting dressed. “I’m serious! I’d wanna say goodbye to you!”</p><p>“We say goodbye every Match,” Will muttered, and even as he said it felt his chest constrict.</p><p>It was routine at this point. Hello, one week, goodbye. Why did voicing that reality make him so overwhelmingly sad all of a sudden? That had always been the case and would be the case this time, too.</p><p>“You know it’s not the same!” Derek called. </p><p>Thinking about his own Farewell Party was pointless. At this rate he was never going to have one, and thinking ahead about some abstract concept only added to the anxiety that had started to fester inside of him. </p><p>Thinking about saying goodbye to Derek was a little more painful. </p><p>After heaving a great sigh, Will pushed himself off the couch so he could go get ready too. He brought a fresh mug of coffee into their room for Derek, who was digging through the closet wildly to find something to change into, but paused to accept the drink with a smile. </p><p>They didn’t have a lot of time to dawdle. After checking the location they decided to walk instead of calling for a Cart, seeing it was closer to their current Pod than to the Hub. </p><p>Will should’ve known Derek wouldn’t let their conversation from earlier go so easily. </p><p>“You really won’t wanna say goodbye to me?” Derek asked as they walked.</p><p>Will kept his eyes ahead of him. “Come on, Derek.” This was getting a little too direct. He shoved his hands into his pockets, shaking his head. “I don’t know what I’m going to want. I don’t know who I’ll be then.”</p><p>“Fair.” Derek was quiet for a moment. “I’ll wanna say goodbye to you, though.”</p><p>Will shook his head harder then, still not looking at him. “You don’t have to.” </p><p>“You can’t ignore Farewell Parties. What if it’s me?”</p><p>“Stop,” Will said firmly, turning and stopping Derek on his path as he did so. He didn’t want to do this today—preferably never, but certainly not today. “Knock it off.”</p><p>Derek grew serious. “Fine.” Will could tell he wasn’t happy. </p><p>They continued their walk in a tense silence until they reached the outskirts of the party. Whoever it was for had clearly both encountered quite a few people they wanted to say goodbye to, which only left Will more confused as to who the party could be for. </p><p>“I think that’s—” Derek stopped talking as pressed himself on his toes and craned his neck to see over the crowd. “Looks like Adam,” he said, dropping back down. He looked over at Will, his eyes wide. “You don’t think…?”</p><p>“Justin?” Will asked. The air between him and Derek lightened immediately. “No way.”</p><p>Derek lit up again, a smile finding his face as they grew closer, looking between strangers. “It is!” </p><p>The cloud that had shadowed over them on the last half of their walk lifted immediately. Derek and Will picked up their pace and wound through the other partygoers to get to Justin and Adam, who were both casually chatting with people who must’ve been previous Matches. </p><p>“Adam!” Derek shouted, trying to get his attention, and both Adam and Justin turned at the sound of his voice.</p><p>Adam smiled once he saw Derek, and Justin smiled when he saw Will. </p><p>“We’re leaving,” Adam called back to them as they kept making their way through the crowd. Justin held up his Coach, glowing. “Ultimate Match, bitches!”</p><p>“Oh my God,” Derek exhaled. They finally reached their old Matches and Derek went directly for Adam, opening his arms for a hug while Will and Justin traded one as well. “Guys!”</p><p>“We knew from the beginning,” Justin said, looking back to Adam with warmth in his eyes as they pulled away from their hugs.</p><p><em>So it is real</em>, Will thought. </p><p>An Ultimate Match would be waiting at the end of all this mess. He knew Justin and had gotten to know Adam a little bit enough to know that the way they felt about each other was genuine. That was love—<em>real love</em>.</p><p>“It really does work,” Will murmured to himself. Justin heard him anyway and found Will’s eyes nodding just a little. Will shook his head a little bit to clear his thoughts before saying, “Congrats, you two. You deserve it.”</p><p>“We figured one last lap before we go. Farewell Party and all that.”</p><p>Derek snorted, elbowing Adam before pushing him a little bit. “Like you’re not desperate to get out here.”</p><p>Adam laughed, pushing him back, but eased a little bit as he looked toward Justin. “We’ll have time for that later,” he murmured, fond. </p><p>“I’m not fooled, dude.”</p><p>Seeing Adam and Derek together again brought back the same uneasy feeling from the last time, when they’d all played at the rink in the Hub. They were both shining with smiles that Will felt like he’d never seen on Derek’s face, a sort of overwhelming joy that he’d never been privy to. Derek was caught up in Adam immediately, Will easily forgotten, so he turned and hurried to get something to drink before something like sadness could creep in. </p><p>“Hey, Will,” Justin called, waving him down and hurrying after him before he could get too far. “Hey man. Wanna take a walk?” He glanced over his shoulder with a smile. “Let those two catch up a little? Or well—really say goodbye.” </p><p>Will unwound his arms from around himself and nodded. “Sure.” He glanced back toward Adam, already caught up with Derek again, and Will knew he didn’t even have to ask. “They’re funny together,” Will said.</p><p>“Funny,” Justin echoed, eyebrows as high as his voice. “Interesting word.”</p><p>Will wrinkled his nose. Seeing Derek and Adam together made Will frustrated in ways he couldn’t and didn’t want to put words to. He knew he could be a jealous person but he didn’t want to tie Derek into that feeling—unsure what it could really mean if he sat with it for too long. </p><p>“What would you call it?” Will prompted instead. </p><p>Justin smiled, not an ounce of jealousy in sight. “Friendly, maybe.”</p><p>“They touch each other a lot.”</p><p>“They’ve had a lot of sex.”</p><p>Will’s face exploded with red. “What?” he burst. </p><p>Justin’s smile grew. “You didn’t know that?” he asked carefully.</p><p>“I mean, no! We don’t talk about—those…” he trailed off, suddenly feeling parched. Will needed a drink of water as soon as possible. Or maybe alcohol would be better. “Seems—I guess, that makes sense, yeah?” Justin chuckled lightly, shaking his head. “That doesn’t—bother you?”</p><p>Justin’s smile only faded a little. “Should it?” He shrugged a little. “We’ve talked about it. It might’ve bothered me if it was a secret, maybe, but nah. We talk. We both know what being in this System is like.” </p><p>Will nodded, feeling a little guilty. He felt the same underneath it all. Will knew what the System was like, how people used it. That wouldn’t make him feel any different about his Ultimate Match. He knew it was the <em>Derek </em>of it all that had upset him.</p><p>He decided to change the subject. </p><p>“Coach told you?” Will asked, and Justin nodded. </p><p>“Yeah, it started ringing. Not like the normal sound that goes off for a new Match—and kind of loud. Can’t miss it.” </p><p>In his pocket, his Coach device felt heavy. “How many times did you and Adam Match before it told you?” Will asked. </p><p>“Third times the charm,” Justin answered with a smile.</p><p>Will only felt more confused. For him he’d worried <em>three strikes you’re out</em>. </p><p>“It’s my fourth Match with Derek,” he explained quietly. Justin’s easy smile faded and he nodded. It was clear he had the same ability to understand what Will was saying even though he hadn’t actually explained that Justin had during their actual Match. “Do you think there’s a reason we keep Matching?” he asked.</p><p>“Do <em>you </em>think there’s a reason you keep Matching?” Justin countered. </p><p>Earlier, it felt like the System was trying to teach Will a lesson in kindness—in vulnerability. His early Matches with Derek had been nothing but arguments and struggling to understand one another, figuring out how to communicate. But now? </p><p>Seeing Derek on the other side of the table with Will arrived for their latest Match has actually brought <em>relief </em>this time around. Not only because Will was tired of always having to meet a new person, put on a new face, re-introduce himself all over again. </p><p>But also because it was Derek. Because they’d have more time again.</p><p>“Coach says trust the System. Everything happens for a reason.”</p><p>“Sure,” Justin agreed, nodding. “Do you believe that?” </p><p>Will squeezed his eyes shut and turned away just a touch to admit, “I have to.” </p><p>What other option did he have? It wasn’t like Will could leave the System. He was here—he was in it. He had to believe that everything the System was doing had meaning. </p><p>Which had to mean that Matching with Derek so many times had meaning. </p><p>“I like Derek for you,” Justin said after a moment of silence. When Will opened his eyes again he found Justin smiling, warm. “He seems fun, eh? You need more fun.”</p><p>Will exhaled a tight laugh. “Thanks, man.”</p><p>“I’m serious,” Justin said with a little chuckle. “Besides, he looks at you like he’s happy to do it.” </p><p>Will folded his arms around himself. He turned, looking across the party to where Derek and Adam were standing by one another, laughing with a few more people that Will didn’t know. </p><p>“Our Match’ll just Expire again,” Will told him quietly. “I don’t see the point.”</p><p>“What was the point in doing anything with me?” Justin countered. “Or any of your other Matches?” </p><p>“Derek’s different,” Will insisted sharply, his throat closing after he’d done so. </p><p>But still after he’d voiced it, Will couldn’t say anything else. He didn’t want to explain to Justin that Derek was the first Match Will had that made him feel <em>hopeful</em>—he didn’t want to explain that if it weren’t for Derek, Will would probably still be bitching his way through uncomfortable Matches instead of trying to actually communicate with them. </p><p>He couldn’t say that he liked being around Derek—he wouldn’t. Will didn’t ever have repeat Matches and if he were to lose this strange, tentative friendship with Derek because the System had finally caught on to how he was really feeling, Will didn’t think he’d survive it. He thought he’d faced the end of their Matches but they hadn’t… so what came next? </p><p>Moving further with Derek could risk losing Derek altogether; Will didn’t know how the System worked and he’d dug holes full of the stories that made him most anxious. </p><p>“The System works <em>for </em>you,” Justin told him after some silence. Will still couldn’t look at him. “I know—in the thick of it—it’s hard to remember that. But the whole point of the System, Will, is that at the end of it you leave happy with someone you love.” </p><p>His chest ached. “Yeah.”</p><p>“Derek or not,” Justin added. “I have faith it’ll work out for you.”</p><p>“But what if I want—” Will stopped himself before he could voice it. </p><p>Justin heard his unasked question anyway. He nodded sadly, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. “Hope is hard to practice,” he offered quietly. “I know. But love is powerful—you’ll figure it out.” </p><p>Will nodded weakly. Thinking about love in the System didn’t even feel possible. “Thank you. And—fuck, man, congrats for finally getting out of here, you know?”</p><p>Justin smiled then, really. He reached out and rested his hand on Will’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Thank you. I’m really happy, Will.” </p><p>Will smiled. “Good. You deserve that.” </p><p>“Come find me once you get out of here, eh? We’ll get coffee or something. See how it all shakes out.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Will said. “I will.” </p><p>He thanked Justin for the walk another time and they slowly made their way back toward everyone else, Will’s eyes seeking out Derek the moment they returned to the crowd. He was easy to spot, always surrounded by others who lit up by just being around him. Will sent Justin off to Adam again but kept his distance from his own Match a little longer, folding his arms over his chest as though it would protect him from the blue feeling that was growing inside of him.</p><p>He couldn’t believe they only had days left.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay?” Derek finally asked. </p><p>Will hesitated. Derek didn’t think he’d ever seen him like this; Will’s eyebrows were furrowed with sadness and he kept wringing his hands like he was searching for the right words to say. </p><p>They’d left Justin and Adam’s Farewell Party half an hour ago, slowly making their way back to their Pod on a longer trail than they took there, but Will had been mostly silent on the walk. It was different than his standard silence, less guarded than usual.</p><p>Eventually he sighed deeply and whispered, “I’m just… gonna miss them.” </p><p>Derek nodded but knew that it had to be more than that. They’d only played together at the rink once, and while it was a long and fruitful session, the Farewell Party was really their only other opportunity to talk to their past Matches.</p><p>“Did you and Justin grow close?” he wondered. Will nodded, too. He couldn’t help but compare himself to Justin—he did it last time they all ran into each other too. Will had never spoken about his Match with Justin, what they’d done, who they were when they were together. Maybe it was really, really good. “Do you…” he trailed off, almost afraid to ask. “Do you wish it were you?” </p><p>Will’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?” </p><p>Derek didn’t know how to read Will’s attitude from earlier—the way he shut down their conversation about Farewell Parties and told Derek to drop it. Maybe this was part of that.</p><p>“Ultimate. With Justin.”</p><p>Will was shaking his head at once. “No—not at all. I mean—fuck, Derek, how could anyone look at him and Adam and not know that they’re clearly perfect for each other.” Derek agreed, nodding again. Even though they’d only been able to see Adam and Justin together on a handful of occasions, Will was right. Their love was evident in how they looked at one another, in their small touches, in the way they spoke about the other. “It’s…” he trailed off before shaking his head again. “I don’t know.” </p><p>Derek thought he understood. “Just your Ultimate, then.” </p><p>Will wrapped his arms around himself, keeping his gaze elsewhere. “It’s hard to look at them and think something like that is supposed to happen for me.” </p><p>Derek stopped walking at once. When Will noticed the stop, he stopped too, turning to look at Derek with a frown. </p><p>“It will,” Derek insisted. Will looked away again, frowning. “Of course it’ll happen for you,” Derek carried on, almost anguished. Was that why Will was such a dick all the time? Did he not think he <em>deserved</em> it? “It’ll probably look… different. But is that what you want yours to look like?” </p><p>“I don’t know,” Will murmured.</p><p>Derek was desperate for it. He wanted to know what Will dreamed about—what Will thought his Ultimate Match would be like and feel like. He wanted to know what Will would be willing to give, what he wanted to take. Derek wanted to give it to him while he could. </p><p>“It’ll happen for you,” Derek repeated, trying to sound as sure as he possibly could. “Someone who… hates talking about their feelings too—and you just… inherently understand them, and—” Will chuckled suddenly, shaking his head, and Derek stopped. “What?”</p><p>“Come on,” Will said with a muted laugh. “You think I want to end up with someone that I won’t even want to talk to?”</p><p>“Well, no,” Derek responded. “But someone you won’t <em>have</em> to, I don’t know.” Will kept shaking his head, his smile pinched. “You hate talking about your feelings dude.”</p><p>“No I don’t,” Will insisted. Derek really did think Will had an aversion to talking about his feelings. Even this conversation now was surprising to him in a lot of ways. “And isn’t that—I mean I feel like that’s part of what love is anyway. Just… inherently understanding parts about someone. After time, anyway. Not right away.” Derek agreed—part of him couldn’t help but think he and Will had reached that point together. “Do you wish it were Adam?” he asked.</p><p>Derek had whiplash. “What?” It took him a moment to really understand what he was asking. “Wow.”</p><p>“Your Ultimate,” Will elaborated.</p><p>“No!” Will was deflecting and Derek knew it but he couldn’t help but explain. “Absolutely not. He’s a lot but he’s not…” he trailed off, searching for the right word and wondering if Will even actually cared. </p><p>“Good enough in bed?” Will eventually prompted.</p><p>Derek sputtered. “Sorry?”</p><p>Will waved his hand passively. “Justin said something.”</p><p>“No need to gossip, Will, I’m an open book.” </p><p>“He brought it up,” Will said, folding his arms over his chest. “Not me.”</p><p>“And what—you didn’t sleep with Justin?” </p><p>“No,” Will said firmly. “But you’ve had a lot of sex with Adam, so.”</p><p>“Yeah I have,” Derek said, nodding, slowly taking a step back. “I didn’t know that was something that concerned you? Or—interested, might be better?”</p><p>“It doesn’t, it was just surprising how casually he mentioned it.” Will waved his hands outward before folding his arms over his chest again, his eyes suddenly a little wide with panic. “I didn’t mean—sorry, that definitely came out wrong.”</p><p>As much as Derek was surprised by the route of the conversation, he didn’t mind. He and Will never talked about sex. He’d hop on that opportunity <em>quickly</em>.</p><p>“We didn’t work for a lot of reasons,” Derek explained slowly. “Sex wasn’t one of them.”</p><p>Will’s ears went red. “Well I’m sorry for being such a boring Match.”</p><p>Derek had no idea if Will was actually upset with him or teasing him—this conversation was growing more difficult to decipher by the moment—but a laugh startled Derek and he shook his head, surprised. </p><p>“You’re the least boring Match I’ve ever had,” Derek told him, and he meant it. “Genuinely. But if you’re looking to spice things up—”</p><p>“There’s that dirty mind.”</p><p>“You are<em> literally</em> the one who brought sex into it,” Derek said, still with a laugh. He elbowed Will a little, hoping to see the other man smile. “Dude,” Derek stressed a little. “What’s up? Talk to me.” </p><p>“Just…” he trailed off, sighing. “Sorry. An old Match… leaving…” he trailed off. “I’ve never been to a Farewell Party for one of my own.” </p><p>That, Derek could understand. If he sat with it long enough, which maybe Will had been doing, it could lead him down a whole new spiral of anxiety. How many of his previous Matches had already found their Ultimate and just left? How long was Adam in the System before he got out? What does After even <em>look </em>like? </p><p>“It’s weird,” Derek agreed quietly. Still, he couldn’t stop thinking about Will asking him about sex. “Have you slept with anyone? In the System, I mean.” </p><p>“I’m not a prude.”</p><p>Derek guffawed, shaking his head. He loved that Will could still surprise him.</p><p>“I mean—you could be ace,” Derek offered. “Or just—waiting for Ultimate. My assumption wasn’t that you’re a <em>prude</em>. I figured if you asked me about sex I was allowed to ask you?”</p><p>Will folded his arms over his chest. “No. I mean—no, yeah.” He shook his head a little. “Sorry. I’m not waiting for Ultimate. But I do like to wait.” </p><p>“Mmm…” Derek trailed off, nodding. </p><p>Typically he liked waiting too. He enjoyed sex but it was always better to him if there was meaning behind it—connection. He’d had so many Matches and so many short ones that a handful of his Matches really were just hookups, but Derek preferred when there was more to it. </p><p>“Have you ever been in love before?” Derek asked. </p><p>Will startled. “No, of course not.”</p><p>Derek tipped his head to the side. “Of course not?”</p><p>“Love comes after the System,” he murmured. “Not before.” Awful thought. Derek considered this and it made his heart grow heavy and sad. “Have you?” Will wondered after some silence. </p><p>Derek shrugged. “I don’t think so.” </p><p>Will frowned. “Wouldn’t you know?” </p><p>Derek shrugged again. “Would I?” </p><p>Will’s eyes grew wide and dark. “That’s a horribly unnerving thing to consider, thanks.”</p><p>Chuckling, Derek elbowed Will gently. “Sorry.” </p><p>But it was true. How would Derek know if he’d been in love before? It was clear the System could take things from them—memories that didn’t quite fit. What if all of that had already happened for him?</p><p>Derek considered this and knew he could spiral down at the thought, but with a glance toward Will he didn’t feel as afraid as he might’ve on some other Match or if he’d been alone. Not that he loved Will, he didn’t—at least, not romantically—but maybe he could, if they had more time, or—</p><p>“Should we make cookies when we get back?” Will asked and it was clear by the tone of his voice that whatever conversation they’d been having was over. “I think we probably should make cookies when we get back.”</p><p>Derek shook his head to try and rid himself of his thoughts. What was he thinking? Love and Will didn’t go hand in hand here, they couldn’t.</p><p>“I want two this time,” Derek said. “But can we make an extra to split?” He’d roll with it for now. Will had shown him sides that Derek had never seen tonight, no matter how strange they’d unearthed themselves. It didn’t need to be love. It could just be this. “I really think that last half hits the spot.” </p><p>“So five total—we’ll run out of dough soon.”</p><p>“What, we can’t make more?”</p><p>“We can make more,” Will promised softly. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>That night, Will had retreated back into his own thoughts. He knew that Derek had noticed but also that Derek wouldn’t mind, and in the kitchen they baked their cookies in comfortable silence. Or rather—Will did most of the work while Derek slid a few more pieces of their puzzle into place. </p><p>Once the cookies were ready he brought them over on a plate so he could help with the puzzle and they sat elbow to elbow, quietly working on placing pieces while they enjoyed their sweets. </p><p>Derek was still much better at puzzles than Will was. He couldn’t figure out what it was—no matter what strategy he tried Derek just seemed better at it. Matching pieces here and there, scanning the pile and picking out the perfect one immediately, it would be infuriating if Will hadn’t grown to find it so fascinating. </p><p>Coach was playing some quiet instrumental music and Derek had poured both of them a glass of wine and honestly, it was a great way to end the day. Since they’d gotten the alert for the Farewell Party, Will had felt a little on edge. Only now, after they’d finally gotten back to their place, now that they’d had cookies and wine and some time to decompress, did he feel a little more like himself again.</p><p>He was glad to be able to do it with Derek around. </p><p>They talked a little more about the Farewell Party—apparently Derek had seen another one of his old Matches briefly but they hadn’t spoken—but now that they were settled back in their Pod Will felt less stressed than on their walk back.</p><p>He wasn’t expecting Derek to follow after him when Will took their cookie plate to the sink, but Derek was carrying their empty wine glasses to clean and kept close. The moment both of their hands were free Derek reached for him, his hand on Will’s waist to pull him closer.</p><p>“Dance with me,” Derek said before Will could stutter out an objection. “Coach, put on something else.”</p><p>Immediately the music shifted to something soft filling the air, a classical song that was easy to sway to. With a little wine in his system and such a long day behind them, Will found that leaning into the motions with Derek felt like second nature and besides, he hadn’t wanted to pull away in the first place. </p><p>“Seeing as you wouldn’t dance with me there,” Derek added in a murmur. </p><p>In the end, the Farewell Party had been nice. There was music and dancing and food and drinks. Having something to do outside of the house with Derek, with other people, it reminded Will that he wasn’t the only one puttering around the System desperate for it to make sense. Everyone else was too. </p><p>The few times that a song came on that Derek could dance to he’d try to pull Will out onto the floor to join him, but he’d always waved him off. Derek would dance by himself or eventually call off the shimmying shoulders and Will would watch on, fond but too unwilling to actually join him.</p><p>In the quiet and safety of their kitchen, it felt different. Will’s eyes fell shut as Derek’s hand settled on his back. </p><p>“Dancing in public?” Will asked softly. His heart leapt into his throat. “No thank you.”</p><p>Derek chuckled and the sound made Will feel so warm it was like he had stepped into a pool of sunlight. </p><p>This was dangerous. He only had days left with Derek, he couldn’t… </p><p>“You’re thinking <em>so loud</em>,” Derek whispered. Will exhaled some of his tension from his shoulders, squeezing his eyes shut a little tighter. Derek shifted his hands and Will relaxed a bit, easing into him. “You’re a natural.”</p><p>“You’re a liar.”</p><p>Derek chuckled again and drew Will a touch closer. “No, really.” It was then that Will noticed Derek was actually leading them a little bit, the steps to their sway having more direction than he’d noticed. </p><p>It was nice to be held. Will eased into it, often forgetting how much his body actually craved the touch of another person. </p><p>Today had been long and Will had grown tired. He didn’t want to make excuses for a minute. Derek’s hands were warm and sure and if Will closed his eyes he could forget, just for a moment, that he shouldn’t want this as badly as he did. </p><p>“My moms met in the System,” Derek told him quietly. “They always talked about how easy it was.” He shook his head a little bit, laughing softly. Will opened his eyes and found Derek looking sad. “I never expected it would be like this.” </p><p>They swayed quietly to the music. He wanted to know more about what Derek meant by <em>this</em> but as always, he was too cowardly to actually ask. </p><p>“My parents never talked about it,” Will murmured. “But… they’re happy. They’ve always been happy.” Will squeezed his eyes shut, a confession bubbling up out of him despite his desire to swallow it. “They were hoping I’d get here and—” he shook his head a touch. “They wish I wasn’t gay.” </p><p>Derek exhaled softly. “Damn, Will.” </p><p>Will still couldn’t look at him. “I mean they’re fine with it. But they were hoping the System would find me a woman that I’d still…” he trailed off, frustrated. “It’s not happening.”</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” Derek whispered. “I know that must have been awful to grow up with.” Will didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know where it had come from—he’d never planned on admitting that to Derek. But swaying in his arms in the kitchen, Will felt safer than he’d realized he would. “Something kinda nice about the System confirming that you know you best though, right?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Will admitted. He liked how Derek had worded it. Will, though often unsure of how to express himself, really did feel like he knew himself best. For the System to agree was a relief he’d never considered before. “Thanks.” The song changed but they stayed in one another’s arms. Derek didn’t seem in any hurry to shatter the bubble they’d created, and neither was Will. He shrugged a little, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he admitted, “I thought it would be faster.”</p><p>Derek chuckled quietly, warm. “Me too. Why’d I think this would only be a few weeks?” </p><p>“They did say it could feel like forever.” </p><p>Derek hummed. “The illusive They.” </p><p>Will shook his head a little, his voice growing even softer. “I feel like you talk about it more than anyone else I’ve met.” Derek tried drawing back to look at him but Will remained firm in his hold, keeping Derek in place. “The System,” he elaborated. “The—mechanics of all of it.” </p><p>Derek shrugged a little, lifting his hand to follow along Will’s spine. “Isn’t everyone thinking it?” he wondered. </p><p>“I don’t really,” Will exhaled. He tried holding his ground but the feeling of Derek’s hand on his back so intimately was beginning to undo him. “Not unless it’s the start of a new Match, I guess. Or if I’m with you.” </p><p>Justin and Adam would figure out what was <em>After </em>soon. Was it a lot like Before? Sometimes Will felt like he couldn’t even remember all of that—like the longer he was in the System the more difficult it became to picture life outside of it—and he’d been here for months now. </p><p>But Will knew that being here in the System wasn’t how life really worked. There were no jobs here, no friends to hang out with after a long day or pets to feed dinner. It was only temporary.</p><p>“I guess…” Derek’s voice was only a whisper. “You’re the only one I really talk about it with.”</p><p>Will felt a chill creep up his spine. “Really?” He was more surprised than anything else. </p><p>Derek sounded surprised, too. “Yeah. Now that I think about it.” </p><p>In and out of every Match just pretending like things were fine. Both of them. But together they fought and they pushed at it. Will seized Derek’s shoulder a little tighter and finally drew back a step, feeling overwhelmed. </p><p>Derek had to be exaggerating. He was always so vocal, constantly. It was impossible he didn’t speak about the way the System worked with anyone else. </p><p>“It’s like,” Derek continued quietly, “with other short Matches there isn’t as much of a need to get into it, really. We just hang out. Mostly keep it light. I’m always thinking about it, but…” he trailed off. “Yeah. It’s just you.” </p><p>Will looked at him for a long moment, trying to figure out what to say next, before Derek pulled him back into the dance. </p><p>It had to mean something, that they could be together like this—honest, sincere, thoughtful. Every time Will’s knees threatened to give out from it he remembered they only had days left—that this wasn’t meant to last.</p><p>The song changed again and neither of them had spoken for a few minutes now, but they were incredibly close, pressed against one another like they’d never been before. He could feel Derek’s breath against his ear, down his neck. Will felt dizzy. They couldn’t keep this up.</p><p>At the end of the next song they both drew back naturally. </p><p>When Derek did so, his eyes lowered to Will’s mouth. “Hey,” he said softly. His tongue shot out to wet his lips and Will’s entire chest somersaulted. “Um.” </p><p>“We should get to bed,” Will exhaled in his pause, shifting backwards just a touch. “It’s already so late.” </p><p>Derek took another step back and nodded. “Yeah. <em>So </em>late.” But just a step away he stayed, waiting for Will to put the rest of the distance between them. </p><p>It was harder than he wanted it to be. </p><p>The moment stretched on and Will wanted to sink into it until Derek caved and drew him closer again. But his feet were heavy and traitorous, more loyal to his fearful thoughts than his yearning heart, and in time he shifted backward before they headed off to bed together—so much still unspoken between them. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>02:04:23:41</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>They decided to go on a walk that afternoon. </p><p>In the morning, Will had woken up to watch the sunrise as usual. He liked the quiet of the world before it was awake, it made him feel like he had space to gather his thoughts. He’d gotten in the habit of a few Matches ago and needed some sort of routine through it all.</p><p>Unlike normal, Derek had stumbled out to join him.</p><p>“Oh,” Derek said, surprised, and Will looked up from his coffee surprised to see him too. “What are you doing? It’s early.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Will agreed. “I like mornings.”</p><p>“Well I knew that, but I didn’t realize how <em>early</em>.” Will sipped his coffee and watched Derek meander out to the porch before settling down on the other open seat with a yawn. “The sun really rises here?” he asked.</p><p>Will extended his hand, pointing toward the Wall in the distance. It surrounded the entire area, keeping everyone in the System confined, and beyond it Will couldn’t be sure what existed. But there were mountains and trees—and the sun crested over them every morning filling the sky with spectacular colors. </p><p>“Do you want some coffee?” Will asked. “I can fix it.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’d be great, thank you.” </p><p>He went inside to prepare it and when he’d returned, Derek blinked himself awake from whatever half-asleep state he’d retreated back into. He accepted the coffee with a sleepy smile that didn’t do anything horribly warm to Will’s chest and the two of them enjoyed the sunrise in relative silence. </p><p>“I like being outside here,” Derek said once the sky was more blue than blue-gray. “Have you ever gone down to the lake? It’s near the Hub—maybe a little South.”</p><p>“I don’t think so,” Will admitted. “Do you go a lot?”</p><p>Derek shrugged but nodded. “It’s a big lake,” he said quietly. Will couldn’t quite decode what his voice meant. “Beautiful, though.”</p><p>“What’s that voice?” Will asked.</p><p>Derek swallowed a long drink of coffee with a laugh. “What?”</p><p>“I don’t know.” Will gestured toward him vaguely, waving his hands. “When I asked if you go a lot.”</p><p>“Well I feel like I do,” Derek explained. “But I’ve never been able to find the same place twice.”</p><p> </p><p>✦✦✦</p><p> </p><p>It was a big lake. From where they stationed themselves after walking the shoreline for a bit, nearby a few trees that grew tall and strong, Will could see various couples along the outskirts. </p><p>It was beautiful, too. Warm, rich blues that made up the water. Dotted with colorful waterfowl. Will wondered what kind of fish swam beneath the surface. The grass that they had spread themselves out on was lush and green, thick and comfortable to the touch. </p><p>He could see why Derek came here a lot. </p><p>They got out their books and got comfortable, stretching out to read under the afternoon sun. Will brought along the book that Derek got from him at the Hub a few days ago, already a few chapters into it. Every now and then he would turn a page and he could feel Derek’s eyes flick up in his direction—like he couldn’t quite believe that Will was actually reading the book that he’d picked out.</p><p>But that was beautiful, too. <em>All About Love</em> had clearly been written with care, and Will found comfort in the cadence of the sentences—in seeing himself in the paragraphs and knowing he was capable of being more loving. Every now and then something would hit a little closer to home and he would have to set it aside, sit with it for a moment longer.</p><p>It happened now, in reading about spirituality. Will tucked his bookmark into the paperback and turned to find Derek had put his own book aside and was lounging as though he might have fallen asleep.</p><p>Will studied Derek for a moment, allowing himself the longer look because Derek’s eyes remained closed. This was their fourth time matching and Will wasn’t sure that he’d ever really <em>looked </em>at him. He had a sudden urge to reach out and drag his finger down the long line of Derek’s nose, just once. To watch Derek’s eyes flutter open and maybe he would smile, and—</p><p>“You awake?” Will asked. He needed to stop thinking about Derek. The System was just toying with them. Will was worried if he let himself actually care about Derek then maybe the System would decide to stop Matching them altogether—then what? All that ache of loving someone for nothing? Derek’s eyes fluttered open briefly. “What are you thinking about?” Will asked.</p><p>“Nothing,” Derek answered. His voice was clear—not like someone teetering on the verge of sleep, but rather like someone thinking.</p><p>Will blinked. He sat up a little and Derek’s eyes snapped open to watch him do so. “Tell me,” he pushed. </p><p>Derek held Will’s gaze as he propped himself up on his elbows to better look at him. “The trees here,” he said, dropping his voice as if he was telling Will a secret. “They’re… not right.” </p><p>Will frowned. He glanced up at the tree they’d been stationed nearest and tried to look for something wrong—but it just looked like a tree to him. </p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>Derek sat up more and scooted backwards, toward the tree. “C’mere,” he urged. Will followed easily, crawling forward on his knees to stay beside him. Derek grabbed his hand and Will startled—he wasn’t sure if they’d ever held hands before—but Derek didn’t let up until Will’s palm was pressed to the trunk of the tree. Derek slid his hand until his palm was beside Will’s, both of them side by side. “Just feel it,” he urged. </p><p>It took more effort than Will would admit to pull his gaze from Derek, but when he did, when he focused his attention on the tree in front of them, he had to admit that something wasn’t right. He couldn’t name it, wasn’t sure how to explain it, but he knew exactly what Derek meant.</p><p>As though it were burning, Will yanked his hand from the tree suddenly. </p><p>“Weird,” Derek murmured. “Right?” </p><p>“I thought you said you liked being outside here.”</p><p>“I do,” Derek told him. “But sometimes it feels off.”</p><p>Will held his hand to his chest, both confused and frustrated at the same time. “That’s not what you were thinking about,” he accused. </p><p>Derek glanced over his shoulder to look at Will, eyes widening as he finally pulled away from the tree. “What?”</p><p>Will folded his arms over his chest. “That’s not what you were thinking about,” he repeated firmly. He wasn’t an idiot. Derek’s quiet this Match felt like something was wrong—or at least on his mind—and it couldn’t just be the trees. “Tell me,” he demanded.</p><p>A whole slew of emotions crossed Derek’s face that Will hadn’t been ready for, but the one that remained at the end was devastation. </p><p>“Jesus, Will, it’s—nothing, okay?” Will was not accepting that for an answer. He kept his glare and held his gaze until Derek caved with a sigh. “I don’t… know why my Matches are always so short,” he murmured. “I was thinking… that I wish we had more time. I feel like we always get closer to connecting and then our time runs out and—thinking about how all of my Matches are like that—shorter, even, and…” he sighed again, so tired that even Will could feel it. “My longest Match was <em>ten days,</em>” Derek told him. “It’s like the System doesn’t…” he sighed. “Nothing, okay? Can we forget it?” </p><p>Will felt his chest grow tight. His own longest Match had been a month and a half, which seemed to be the longest most people had when he asked (though Will had been Match with a man once who claimed his longest had been three months). He would conveniently block out the part where Derek has explicitly said he wished <em>they </em>had more time. </p><p>“It could still happen,” Will told him. “A long one. The System works in weird ways, right? Maybe it just wants to find you the right person.” </p><p>“Maybe it knows no one can stomach me for that long,” Derek muttered. </p><p>“That’s not true,” Will shot back. Four Matches in and he <em>wished </em>the System would put him with Derek longer. Will knew now that he could spend days listening to Derek ramble about Shakespeare or catching him just before he tripped into the lake if the System would ever let him. “I’m…” he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry you feel like that,” Will said quietly. “That the System thinks you’re not—I mean, come on, Derek,” Will tried, fumbling over words. “Your Ultimate Match is going to be perfect for you whenever they find it.” </p><p>Slowly, Derek looked at him. “Do you really still think that?”</p><p>Will shrugged, nodding just a little. He <em>had </em>to trust the System. It was the only thing he knew. “Adam and Justin found each other,” he offered. “Right?” </p><p>Derek brightened a little then, a smile finally returning to his face. “Yeah,” he agreed. “I guess that’s true. Sometimes it’s harder than others to remember why we’re here.” Will nodded encouragingly and Derek’s smile grew. “Thanks, Will.” </p><p>“Maybe it’s even—“ with Derek smiling at him it was easy for Will to get lost in the fantasy of something soft with him, even as Will knew his resolve was fraying. “Maybe it’s not about the length you get Matched with them,” he offered. “Maybe it’s more about you having a lot of love to give to a lot of different people.” </p><p>Derek’s eyes drifted shut again but his smile remained. He looked more at ease again, more like before Will had started bothering him about what he was thinking about but without that wrinkle of worry between his eyebrows. </p><p>“I like that,” Derek said softly. </p><p>Will watched him for a long, quiet moment before he settled back down beside him, stretching out beneath the tree at Derek’s side with a smile on his face, too. “Or—you’re complicated as fuck,” Will offered. “So the System has to speed run you through it to really understand who’s best.”</p><p>Derek chuckled then, shaking his head. “Yeah, okay.” </p><p>“That one actually makes sense to me,” Will said. </p><p>“What are you thinking about?” Derek asked instead of commenting again. </p><p>Will blinked his eyes open to look over at Derek but found the other man still had his shut. “Trees, now,” Will admitted. “And System mechanics.”</p><p>“Welcome to the dark side,” Derek murmured with a smile. </p><p>Will knew Derek was always thinking about the System in ways that Will wasn’t, but talking about it felt easier after their conversation from the night before. “It doesn’t make sense to me,” Will admitted quietly. “That you haven’t had a long one.” </p><p>Derek’s smile flickered, but his eyes remained shut. He let out a sigh so deep that it could rattle the hills around them. “I think maybe I can fall in love with anyone,” Derek told him. “The longer I’m with someone, the more I know them—the harder it is to say goodbye.”</p><p>Will’s chest was tight. “Yeah,” he whispered. “I know what you mean.” </p><p>Finally, Derek’s eyes eased open, and when they met Will’s neither of them looked away for a few moments. “Do you?” Derek whispered back. </p><p>Will dropped his gaze. He reached for his book instead of answering, not trusting himself to say anything else, and Derek let him without saying anything himself. </p><p> </p><p>✦✦✦</p><p> </p><p>That night Will asked for first shower and Derek let him go, heading for the kitchen to make tea before bed. Once he had the kettle on and he heard the shower rumble to life, Derek pulled his Coach out of his pocket and watched the countdown on the screen for a few seconds.  </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>1:21:17:11</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1:21:17:10</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1:21:17:09</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Derek sighed. “Coach?”</p><p>“<em>Derek?” </em></p><p>He glanced toward the bedroom he shared with Will before looking back down to his device. “Pull up Consent?” he asked quietly. </p><p>Coach’s screen shifted and Derek was presented with the same options he’d always been shown when giving Consent—but it felt different this time. That was one feature of the System that Derek had always appreciated, having to give Consent and receive it before moving farther with his Matches physically. He had dozens of short Matches, and a lot of them assumed he was going to want to pass the time with sex—which was only <em>sometimes </em>true. </p><p>But he and Will, they’d never talked about Consent. </p><p>He was being a coward now, checking in the dark to see if Will updated his settings without saying something. Or maybe he wasn’t being a coward—maybe he was being optimistic. If Will had shifted his settings to <em>yes </em>without saying anything, he could just be waiting on Derek to make the next move. </p><p>Coach’s screen shifted and it was on its standard settings for Consent—everything unchanged. </p><p>Derek exhaled deeply, his chest physically aching. He couldn’t help himself from <em>hoping </em>sometimes, no matter how much it pained him at the end. Of course Will hadn’t snuck off in the middle of the night to change his settings—he’d been incredibly clear with Derek that he only intended for their Matches to carry on with friendship.</p><p>But still, this Match… it’d been different. </p><p>Walks by the lake and laying out beneath trees, dancing together in the kitchen of their Pod…</p><p>Derek sighed again, louder, frustrated. </p><p>He’d tried to say something that night, in the kitchen, but Will pulled away as always, and—fuck, he was always going to, wasn’t he? He didn’t want Derek, no matter that Derek wanted him. </p><p>A few people had changed settings on Derek without talking about it and he’d never faulted them for it—sometimes conversations about these things were hard and you just wanted to know where you stood with someone. Changing settings would always inevitably lead to a conversation with Derek, anyway. </p><p>But Derek had never done that to someone else before—change his settings without saying something.</p><p>Will was a little difficult to get a word in with sometimes, though.</p><p>“Coach?” Derek asked. “Could you tell me… if Will’s even drawn up Consent? To look at it?” </p><p><em>“Sorry, no. I cannot share if your Match has looked at Consent, only if and when Consent is given</em>.” </p><p>He knew that didn’t mean Coach would announce to Will that the settings had been changed, just that he would be able to see on the screen when it was that Derek had changed them if he were to ever check, but… he could be okay with that. </p><p>“Do you think he checks?” Derek asked. “Can you give me—opinions? Thoughts?”</p><p><em>“As indicated by his behavior there is a 69% chance of Will checking Consent by the end of this Match</em>.”</p><p>“Nice. I like those odds.” </p><p>Derek gave his Consent and slid Coach back into his pocket before he could think too hard about it. </p><p> </p><p>✦✦✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>04:06:38</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>They were running out of time again. </p><p>Will tended to spend the last day of a Match tidying. It wasn’t necessary—all of his things would be wherever he was next anyway, no packing required—but he also cleaned when he had too much nervous energy. </p><p>He didn’t want to have to say goodbye again.</p><p>Will didn’t think Derek noticed, because if he had he certainly wouldn’t have swept in, leaning against the doorway of the living room with incredible ease only to ask, “Could I interest you in a nap?” </p><p>Immediately, Will’s heart leapt into his throat. He’d only just settled down on the couch with the book Derek had gotten him at the start of this week, but he already knew he wouldn’t actually get any reading done. They were just killing time now. Only hours to go. </p><p>“Seriously?” Will asked. </p><p>Derek shrugged, reaching up to rub sleepily at his eyes. “Been a while since I took a nice afternoon nap,” Derek told him. “We both could. Not like it’s the worst way to pass the last bit.”</p><p>Will paused to consider it. It wasn’t like he had any other plans, now that the place was sufficiently swept, but it also felt like a trap somehow. “What’s the catch?” he asked.</p><p>Derek laughed, waving his hand in Will’s direction dismissively before turning and heading toward their room. “Dude,” he called quietly over his shoulder. “There’s no catch. It’s a nap.” </p><p>Will closed up his book and was on his feet in an instant, following after Derek faster than he’d ever care to admit. It’d also been a long time since Will had taken a nap—he sort of found them pointless. Especially here in the System, where they both had all the time in the world and none at all. If he wanted more sleep, he would just go to bed earlier, or sleep in a little in the morning. </p><p>“How are you always so tired?” Will asked.</p><p>“The System is exhausting,” Derek answered easily. He was already crawling into bed while Will lingered in the doorway, his book now tucked under his arm. He stretched out on their mattress with his hands behind his head and a smug look on his face that Will didn’t want to read into. “Nap with me,” he said. </p><p>Will swallowed. “How long are your naps?” he wondered idly, knowing that he was stalling. “Three hours isn’t a nap, Derek. There are full REM cycles in that.”</p><p>“An hour’s all you need,” he answered. Derek tipped his head to the side, beckoning again without words, and Will’s feet moved before he could stop them. “Then we’ll make coffee, and finish the puzzle…” he trailed off softly and Will let himself get carried away with it. That felt like so many things left to do, even with so little time. </p><p>“Do you think we’ll finish it?” Will wondered as he joined Derek in bed.</p><p>Derek smiled, and Will looked for a moment longer than he should’ve. He wanted to save the look in his mind for as long as he could. </p><p>“We can try,” Derek told him quietly. Will nodded, finally looking away, turning his gaze up toward the ceiling instead. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Derek added after a moment. “Nap, I mean. I just…” he sighed softly. “I feel like I hardly ever get a night to myself before another Match. I’m worried it’ll happen again.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Will agreed, just as soft. “So let’s sleep.” Will didn’t mind that this was how Derek wanted to spend their last few hours together—he couldn’t. He understood what it was like to be exhausted going into a new Match, getting sent one right after another had ended.</p><p>Hopefully that wouldn’t be the case that time, but the fear was real. The exhaustion, too. It pulled Will under just as quickly as it did Derek.</p><p> </p><p>✦✦✦</p><p> </p><p>Most mornings when Derek woke up, Will had already left their bed. Sometimes Derek would wake just for a moment and Will was still asleep, but more often than not Derek was alone.</p><p>But Will was here now, as they woke from their nap.</p><p>And Will was so beautiful that Derek couldn’t even stand it, golden eyes glowing like the sunset that was streaming in through their window, his mouth curling up in the smallest of sleepy smiles. Derek squeezed his eyes shut and rolled on his back, away from Will so he wouldn’t have to handle it directly.</p><p>He didn’t want to say goodbye again.</p><p>“How much time do we have?” Derek rasped.</p><p>Will turned and stretched, reaching out for his Coach on the bedside table to check the time before flashing it to Derek. Less than an hour, but more than half. An awkward stretch of time to have to sit with, but enough for coffee and time on the puzzle as promised. </p><p>Derek sighed, sinking back down into the pillows wishing his chest didn’t feel like it was flooded with water. </p><p>“You still want that coffee?” Will asked gently.</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll come too,” Derek told him. “Just takes a minute to wake up.”</p><p>Will chuckled and reached over, his fingertips just lightly brushing over Derek’s temple to say, “Take your time.”</p><p>Derek wished they had enough that he could waste. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>05:45</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Only a few minutes ago Will and Derek had been shoulder to shoulder at the coffee table, laughing as they frantically hurried to finish the last puzzle they’d gotten out. It was 1500 pieces and there were only a dozen or so they needed to put in their place before it was complete and the final scramble made Derek feel lighter than he had in a long time.</p><p>But they’d popped the last one into place, Derek taking his time with the small handful he’d gathered so Will could handle the final one, and after a moment of silence where they observed the work that they’d done, Will said they should probably head outside to wait for the Carts. </p><p>Derek couldn’t believe that they were here again. </p><p>At times the moments in the week felt infinite but here, at the end of it, Derek couldn’t believe how quickly it had passed. In front of him, Will fidgeted with his Coach device. </p><p>“How long is it usually until you get your next Match?” Derek wondered. </p><p>Will looked up with surprise on his face, but he hadn’t mentioned anything about himself earlier when they’d been napping. “It varies,” he said. “But usually within 48 hours.” The knowledge that Will would be wrapped up with someone else in less than two days made Derek’s heart grow heavy. “What about you? You said not long?”</p><p>Derek shrugged and made sure not to sigh. He supposed he hadn’t been very specific earlier, either. </p><p>“It varies,” he echoed. “I don’t really think time operates the same way here…” he trailed off, serious, but Will’s smile that came accompanied with an eye roll made Derek not want to get into it. He’d rather linger in the peace this moment gives him. “Sometimes days,” he answered. “Sometimes—usually hours.”</p><p>“<em>Hours</em>?” Will asked. “You move on quickly, Nurse.”</p><p>“Not from you.”</p><p>He didn’t think before saying it but he didn’t regret it once he’d spoken. Derek felt like he’d been obvious about his growing feelings this Match in a lot of ways. Now that it was ending and Will hadn’t said anything, Derek had to get in one last push. One last reminder. </p><p>He cared about Will. He wanted Will to know that. </p><p>“Sometimes I think it would be better if we never saw each other again,” Will muttered. </p><p>Derek took a deep breath, fighting the feeling that came with his heart shattering. He held himself tall and folded his arms over his chest, pinning a smile to his face that didn’t feel genuine and certainly couldn’t look it. “Maybe the System really does care about what we want,” Derek said, tight, “and this is the last time you’ll ever have to see me.”</p><p>Will shook his head, looking up and meeting Derek’s eyes. “That isn’t what I said,” he murmured quietly. Derek’s mask threatened to crumble as he tried to decipher what Will meant by that. “Just take care of yourself,” he said quietly. “Yeah?” </p><p>Derek tried not to stare at Will’s mouth.</p><p>“Yeah,” he agreed quietly. “Sure—you too.” Will nodded, finally dropping Derek’s gaze and looking elsewhere. He shifted like he saw something and when Derek turned he saw their Carts approaching, one for each of them. “Will,” he hurried, turning back to the man beside him. Will’s eyes had blown wide and dark and Derek reached for his hand, afraid to let him go again. “This Match—it wasn’t awful, was it?”</p><p>“No,” Will rasped. “God, Derek, of course not.” </p><p>Just one kiss. Imagine if they could just have one kiss. </p><p>It wouldn’t even have to be a long one. Just soft enough that Derek could feel the warmth of Will’s lips against his own—so he could breathe Will in just once.</p><p>Fuck, he wished they had more <em>time</em>. He opened his mouth to say something else but he couldn’t find the words for it, unsure what he wanted it to be. This was maddening—being torn away from Will just before the two of them could crest the hill they’d been climbing together forever. </p><p>“I wish…” Derek started. Will drew a touch closer, waiting for him to finish. </p><p>The Carts rolled to a stop. </p><p>Will waited another moment before squeezing Derek’s hand without another word. He tipped his head gently in Derek’s directly before releasing it, slowly stepping backwards toward his Cart. </p><p>Derek nodded, too weak for more words. Another goodbye, another Match that would send him far away from Will. He took a deep breath to try and keep himself from falling apart. He was so tired of this—these short Matches that didn’t seem to mean anything—these brief encounters that were supposed to be part of something wonderful. </p><p>It took Derek another moment to climb aboard his Cart but he didn’t want to hear Coach reprimand him so he hurried along. </p><p>Their Carts took them two different directions and Derek turned, watching Will’s out the back opening of his own until it was completely out of sight. </p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>MATCH COUNT</strong>
</p><p>Will: 15 | Derek: 31</p><p> </p><p>The elevator ride up always went faster than Derek wanted it to. </p><p>Every Match these last few he’d tried to convince himself if he closed his eyes hard enough that the elevator would just stop and let him off and he would be gone—free of the System forever, never having to think about love and the woes of it ever again. </p><p>He’d had a few good Matches lately but just as he’d started really feeling himself begin to fall for them, the Match would end.</p><p>So many short ones. So, so, so many. Small fracture after small fracture, never getting to linger in it, Derek was tired.</p><p>The elevator doors opened and Derek opened his eyes, exhaling a sigh. He could be cheery. It was good to have another Match—another chance at love. Maybe this one would be a little longer. Maybe this one Derek could really fall in love.</p><p>Hope was a discipline, after all. </p><p><em>“Follow signage toward Waldo’s to meet your next Match</em>.”</p><p>Waldo’s. It’d been a while since Coach had sent Derek to Waldo’s. </p><p>“You’re sure?” Derek asked. “Waldo’s?”</p><p>“<em>Affirmative.” </em></p><p>Immediately, Derek’s chest constricted. “Don’t tease me Coach,” Derek murmured as he started for the restaurant. He could survive whatever came but it was always worse if he got his hopes up about this place in particular. </p><p>Waldo’s was Will’s restaurant. </p><p>Derek had a handful of Matches at Waldo’s that hadn’t been Will but for the most part, it was always Will. Was it even possible that the System would Match them again? It had been so long since their last Match that Derek had started thinking the System had moved on completely, forgetting about the Match that made Derek’s heart sing the most. </p><p>His first step into the restaurant sent Derek’s senses into overdrive. </p><p>“Where?” he asked Coach. </p><p>“<em>Section 5b.” </em></p><p>Derek scanned the signs that hung from the ceiling and headed toward the section that Coach was directing him to. </p><p>Derek tried not to sprint. He knew he would look like a maniac to his next Match if he were racing through Waldo’s like a desperate fool only for it to be a stranger. How would he explain himself then, that he was so overwhelmed at the idea of seeing an old Match he’d felt the need to run? That would be a horrible way to kick things off. </p><p>The closer he got his section the harder his heart pounded. </p><p>One glimpse down the aisle and he couldn’t believe his eyes. </p><p>“Oh my God,” Derek exhaled, hurrying faster across the restaurant. Even seeing him sitting so still felt like a dream, this couldn’t possibly be real. “Will!” </p><p>It was him, it was finally him again. </p><p>Will turned, glancing over his shoulder and actually <em>smiling </em>when he saw Derek approaching him. Around him Derek felt the restaurant fall empty—he had another chance to be with Will.</p><p>“Hey,” Will greeted warmly. “Color me absolutely not shocked to see you.” </p><p>Derek shook his head as he rushed to sit down, dropping Coach on the table. “What do you mean?” Derek asked.</p><p>“<em>Match confirmed.” </em></p><p>“Palate cleanser,” Will reminded him, eyes narrowing a little. It took longer than Derek cared to admit to recall the conversation. “Maybe not every other, but every few…” </p><p>It’d been just over a month since the last time they matched but Derek felt like a whole lifetime had passed—he’d even forgotten that Will only had one Match in between their third and fourth. Derek had <em>17</em> Matches since the last time he’d seen Will; in this moment he was struggling to even remember many of their names. He’d thought of Will the entire time, wondering if he’d ever get the chance to see him again—to tell him how he really felt. </p><p>“What do <em>you</em> mean?” Will pushed. </p><p>Derek shook his head. “Nothing.” </p><p>“What’s your count now?” Derek shook his head again. “Seriously?” Will laughed. “You don’t want to brag this time?”</p><p>“It’s—not important,” he insisted.</p><p>“Coach,” Will said, and his device lit up. “What’s Derek’s current Match number?”</p><p>
  <em>“Derek is currently on Match number 31.” </em>
</p><p>Will’s eyes widened as he looked across the table, but Derek’s eyes shot elsewhere. “Holy fuck,” Will said. His voice grew serious at once. “Wasn’t your last—our last Match was in the teens, right? That was just—” he paused, maybe trying to do math in his head. “Dude, are you okay?” </p><p>Derek managed a smile, shrugging a little. “Yeah,” he lied. Short encounter after short encounter that never made an impression on him just made him miss Will more and honestly—Derek was tired. They weren’t all bad, but they weren’t <em>this</em>. “All part of finding the Ultimate Match.” </p><p>It didn’t help that he’d seen Will a few times on previous Matches. Derek was always with a different person and Will had always been with the same man, and Will had always been smiling, and Derek missed him more than he thought was allowed. </p><p>“You don’t have to do that.” </p><p>Derek didn’t know what he meant. “Do what?” </p><p>“I never meant—” Will shook his head, looking away. “At the start of all this. I never meant to reduce the bad times you have here down to the Ultimate Match. You don’t have to play it off for me—I know you probably feel like shit.”</p><p>Fuck, he really did, but in the same breath Derek had never felt more understood. </p><p>He really, really missed Will. </p><p>“Sorry,” Derek murmured. </p><p>“No, don’t be.” His voice was huffy like it always got when he was frustrated. Across the table, Will hesitated. He sat Coach down like he wasn’t so sure what to do with it next. Derek knew checking the Expiry was necessary but he wanted to wait a little longer, if he could, but Will always wanted to do it right away. “This’ll be a long one,” Will told him. </p><p>Derek shook his head, trying to manage a smile. At least Will was trying to comfort him. “We both know it won’t,” he responded, resigned. He reached for his device and Will tapped his, and Coach revealed the Expiry.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>Two Weeks</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>13:21:12:52</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Something about Derek had shifted. He was both warmer than Will remembered him to be—more smiles and light in his eyes than their previous Matches—but there was something else here too. A quiet resolve, a sort of hopelessness that wasn’t voiced but still evident. </p><p>He was tired, Will could tell, but happy to be Matched again. </p><p>So was Will. </p><p>He’d had three Matches since he’d seen Derek and while all of them were nice, none of them were Derek. For some reason sitting down at the restaurant this last time he’d been sure Derek would walk his way—the System wouldn’t put <em>another </em>Match between them, it felt like it’d been forever since they’d seen each other—when Derek came rushing down the restaurant toward him. </p><p>Predictable. </p><p>What wasn’t predictable was the desperation on Derek’s face at his arrival, or the relief that flooded it once their Expiry had been revealed. </p><p>That night in the new Pod that was their home, Derek kicked his shoes off by the door with a soft sigh. </p><p>Will hesitated a few steps behind him, unsure. “What if…” he started, surprising himself by hearing his own voice. Derek turned to look at him with wide eyes, waiting for him to continue. “You could take a bath, if you wanted. Just… relax tonight.”</p><p>Derek’s wide eyes grew. “What?”</p><p>“I could bring you tea,” Will offered. “I’m sure they’ve stocked us with some of that chamomile you like.” Derek still hadn’t moved but Will hurried toward the kitchen to get the kettle started, not wanting Derek to see the way his face had turned pink. “It seems like you’ve had a long month,” Will finally offered, calling over his shoulder in a way to make it seem like he was being more careless than he really was. Every move he was making was intentional.</p><p>He wanted Derek to feel happy—but didn’t want Derek to know that’s what he was doing. Didn’t want the System catching on even though it was designed to do exactly that. Oh, God, what was he <em>doing</em>?</p><p>“Thanks Will,” Derek said quietly. He didn’t wait for a response before trudging on through their bedroom to start the bath. </p><p>Once he was gone, Will started the kettle. He felt weird. He couldn’t quite name the feeling inside of him but it was both confused and frustrated, neither feeling good. Jittery. Like he’d had too much coffee on an empty stomach.</p><p>He fixed tea for both of them but waited until he heard the bath shut off before actually heading for the bathroom. When he got there, Derek was already submerged in the bubbles, looking sleepy and content with his eyes closed and his head resting back on the rim of the tub. When he heard Will enter he opened his eyes, smiling at the sight of the tea.</p><p>“You’re always welcome to join me,” Derek told him as Will passed over a mug.</p><p>Will sputtered. “I’m going to read,” he said.</p><p>Derek’s smile didn’t fade as Will hurried out of the bathroom to give him space. </p><p>Settling on the couch with a book and his tea, Will did not read. He couldn’t focus. He’d look at a sentence and then reread it and reread it again, constantly thinking of Derek and the fact that he was naked in the bath just in the room over and invited Will to join him. </p><p>That was the whole point of the System anyway, obviously. Finding a Match, really getting to know that person, maybe falling in love… </p><p>That was how everyone else used it. That was how Will used it on previous Matches too. Really dating. Talking about life and feelings and thoughts, deepening that relationship right away. He’d kissed nearly all of his other Matches except Derek, even had sex with a few of them. But for some reason Derek’s relationship always felt different. </p><p>They hadn’t gotten along at first, and then even when they did there was some push back from both of them. Now they were here and Will knew how he felt, knew what he wanted with Derek, and was too afraid to actually move into what that looked like. </p><p>Will was constantly stuck between trusting the System and feeling like the System still had to have flaws. Will never expected a double triple quadruple Match and the fact that it was with Derek was just more confusing. What if moving forward with Derek stopped the repeat Matching altogether? He hated that he didn’t have an answer.</p><p>Eventually Derek climbed out of the bath. By then Will had gotten through approximately two paragraphs in his book and his tea had gone cold. He pretended to keep busy with his book after Derek got dressed and joined him in the living room, but Will couldn’t take the thoughts rattling around inside his head anymore. </p><p>“Do you ever get other repeat Matches?” Will asked as Derek settled down across from him.</p><p>Derek’s eyebrows lifted, shocked at the question. Will was surprised that he felt so upset when Derek answered, “A few, yeah.” </p><p>“Really?”</p><p>Derek’s shock only shifted into confusion. “Yeah. Doesn’t everyone?” </p><p>Derek was Will’s only repeat Match. They’d never talked about it.</p><p>“I… guess so.” </p><p>Derek stretched out on the other end of the couch while Will fiddled with his book before giving it up, setting it aside.</p><p>“There’s Chris,” Derek eventually continued. “Connor, Vanessa, Lorelle.” He could literally count them on his fingers. “I matched with Adam twice.” Will folded his arms over his chest, frustrated at the feeling building in his chest. “But… none I care about like you. I don’t think about them when I’m Matched with someone else, or… wish we were Matched longer.” </p><p>The bubble in Will’s chest had grown into something else completely, fanning out across his ribcage like something sticky. “Like me?” Will rasped. </p><p>Derek looked over to him then, eyes challenging. Will wasn’t an idiot. He knew that Derek had been moving closer in their past Matches, but certainly now. They had more time together than Will had ever expected and suddenly Will wasn’t sure what to do with it. </p><p>He needed to change the subject. “How many Matches since our last time?” Will asked.</p><p>“Seventeen,” Derek answered.</p><p>Fuck. </p><p>“You kept track?” Derek leveled him with another look. “Short ones, you said?”</p><p>“Twelve hours, thirty six hours, seventy two hours,” Derek shrugged a little. “Nothing longer than that, I don’t think.”</p><p>“Did you sleep with all of them?” Will blurted.</p><p><em>Fuck! </em>Definitely not what Will wanted to ask.</p><p>Derek’s eyebrows lifted slightly in amusement. “What if I did?” Will’s lips parted and Derek laughed, leaning over to nudge him. “<em>No</em>, Will, I didn’t really sleep with any of them.” He amended to say, “I mean we pretty much always shared the bed because that’s what the System gives us and—“</p><p>“I know what you mean,” Will stopped him, needing Derek to stop rambling. </p><p>“And you still think I’m the dirty minded one.” </p><p>The silence that followed was not really preferable either. </p><p>Eventually Derek said, “Thank you. For the tea.” </p><p>“Yeah, well. Seemed like you needed a lowkey night.” Derek nodded, grateful, and the sight of his shining eyes made Will’s entire chest rumble. “I thought about making cookies.”</p><p>Derek’s smile grew again. “Only thought about it?” he wondered. “Why not do it?”</p><p>Will fidgeted, uncomfortable again. His thoughts had rendered him unable to move once he’d planted himself down on the couch. He couldn’t stop thinking about all the time they had, how they were going to spend it. </p><p>“We still could,” Will said.</p><p>Derek nodded, but shrugged. “If you want. I could sleep.”</p><p>Will could hear it in his voice, the exhaustion that Derek had been carrying around. “Tomorrow, then,” Will said.</p><p>“Bed now?” Derek wondered. </p><p>Will felt too jittery for sleep—especially the thought of laying beside Derek. Two weeks to share a bed again, two weeks to wake up next to him. Will needed to get out of this Pod. </p><p>“I’m think I’m actually gonna go for a run,” he decided, standing abruptly. “You don’t have to wait up for me, I don’t know how long I’ll be out. Shower when I get back.”</p><p>“You’ll come to bed, though? Whenever?” </p><p>How so few words could make Will’s insides turn to mush, he had no clue. He nodded, and Derek’s smile returned, and Will hurried backwards out of the Pod so he could catch his breath.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>The morning after their Match, Derek woke up and Will was still in bed. </p><p>They were closer than Derek remembered ever being. The beds in the Pod were big enough that Derek and Will both could spread out—and they weren’t tiny dudes. So being close like that, Will’s nose and lips just inches from Derek’s, it was disorienting in the best way. </p><p>He’d missed Will. </p><p>He missed him the moment their Match ended. </p><p>To actually be back here with him felt like a gift—Derek knew he couldn’t take it for granted. He had to tell Will what he wanted—how he really felt. This might be his only chance. </p><p>Will shifted in his sleep and Derek realized his hand had crept out sometime in the night to clutch Derek’s shirt. He twisted the fabric between his fingers and drew Derek closer, even in his slumber, and Derek let his eyes fall shut again. Genuinely exhausted, he hadn’t been able to wait up for Will after his run, and, truthfully, Derek knew that Will hadn’t wanted him to. </p><p>He had more time with Will than he’d ever expected—they didn’t need to rush it. </p><p>When he woke a second time, Will had disappeared from bed and the comforting smell of a pot of coffee brewing greeted him. Derek smiled, reaching out to feel if the spot Will left had gone cold yet or not, and was pleasantly surprised to find it still warm. He tried to fall back asleep after shifting over a little bit, claiming some of that warmth for himself, but the moment Will crept into his thoughts he couldn’t drift off again. </p><p>How was he going to broach this subject with him? Will struggled with vulnerable conversations on a good day, Derek wasn’t sure how he would respond to a full confession of feelings.</p><p>But he’d been obvious, hadn’t he? Will had to know that Derek’s feelings had grown. It was just about how to start the conversation in a way that they could actually be adults about it. Or rather—Derek knew he could, but Will could shut down easily. What would he have to do for it to go smoothly? </p><p>Derek took his time climbing out of bed, wanting Will to have his space. Two weeks was a change. It felt important. That alone was something that Derek wanted to talk about. </p><p>After a few deep breaths Derek finally stumbled into the kitchen and found a mug of coffee already waiting for him. </p><p>“Morning,” he greeted brightly. </p><p>“Pancakes okay?” Will asked, already pouring them into the pan.</p><p>“Hell yeah. Thanks, Will.” He settled down at the kitchen table to drink his coffee and took in their new surroundings. All of the Pods were similar but they had different set-ups, this one had a giant window in the kitchen that was letting in lots of morning light. “How’d you sleep?”</p><p>Will shrugged, his attention on cooking breakfast. “Fine. The first night in a new Pod always takes some adjusting.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Derek agreed. “But easier because I already know you.” </p><p>Will glanced over his shoulder to look at Derek, but just for a moment. “Yeah,” he agreed softly. “For me, too.” Derek smiled, taking a slow drink of his coffee. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>It was too easy for Will to step back into his old routine with Derek. </p><p>Whatever fear had followed him through the night subsided the moment he heard Derek’s voice the next morning—he should’ve known it wouldn’t last.</p><p>Two weeks was too much time for Derek to pretend like nothing had changed, Will had been foolish to hope he could skirt through this without addressing it. Derek waited until they were both seated, a steaming stack of pancakes between them, before he got into it.</p><p>“So…” </p><p>Will’s eyes immediately went down toward his plate instead of on the man across from him. “What.”</p><p>“We’ve never had two weeks before,” Derek said casually. Will cut into his pancakes, the sound of his utensils loud against his plate. “What do you think it means?”</p><p>Will shrugged. “No clue.” At least he could be honest about that.  </p><p>“Yeah,” Derek agreed after swallowing a bite of his own. “God—I missed your cooking,” he murmured, already digging in again. Will felt a rush of warmth and hoped he’d be able to blame it on time spent over the stove. “It’ll be nice,” Derek said after another bite. “Having more time.” </p><p>Will agreed, but he didn’t know how to voice it. He wasn’t expecting this conversation so soon and truthfully didn’t want to have it at all. Two weeks was still only two weeks.</p><p>“What should we do?” Will asked. That felt neutral enough.</p><p>Derek’s smile was not neutral. </p><p>“What do you wanna do?” Derek wondered. </p><p>Will cut into his pancake and popped his shoulder into a shrug. “What do you mean?” Honestly, he had known exactly what Derek meant by asking, he just didn’t know how to have this conversation. Maybe Derek would spare him.</p><p>“I mean, it’s kind of like… we’ve actually had a six week Match,” Derek said slowly. “And now we’re just on weeks five and six.”</p><p>“It’s different.” </p><p>In fact, Will could (and would) probably argue that what he and Derek have had with time is much more intimate than a standard one time six week Match, but that wouldn’t really work in his favor right now so he kept his mouth shut.</p><p>“Yeah,” Derek agreed.</p><p>“No, I mean—” Will’s knife slipped and he dropped it on his plate into a pool of syrup. He wasn’t ready for this now. </p><p>“I’ve just never had a Match that long,” Derek offered, maybe sensing Will’s panic. Will had known this but still he looked up at him, finding Derek watching him. “Wasn’t… your first Match six weeks?” Will’s chest was on fire. How the hell had Derek remembered that? “What did you two get up to?” </p><p>Will knew what he was really asking. </p><p>“Does that make me your longest Match then?” Will asked, changing the subject as he wiped off his knife with a napkin. “Six weeks. With all your repeats.”</p><p>Derek nodded slowly. “Yeah, definitely. But—this one, too. Two weeks.” </p><p>Will as Derek’s longest Match. Derek as Will’s only repeat Match. </p><p>Was it supposed to mean something? If so—what? Will wished he could stop himself from thinking so much.</p><p>“That sounds miserable,” Will admitted, mostly still panicked and searching for another topic. He knew it would sting even after the words were out and yet he couldn’t stop himself. “All those short Matches. I don’t know how you do it.” </p><p>Derek was undeterred. “My palate cleanser keeps things fresh.” </p><p>Will took another bite and looked up, stubbornly fighting his blush. “What makes me your palate cleanser compared to any of your other repeat Matches?” Will asked. </p><p>“I like being with you the most,” Derek answered easily. “I feel less like I’m putting on a show.” </p><p>“You better not be putting on a show for me.”</p><p>Derek grinned. “Then how will I win you over?” he asked. Will’s eyes returned to their meal; Derek’s teasing had made him a little too warm. “I’m not anyone but myself when I’m with you,” Derek said after a moment, his tone cool enough to soothe the heat that Will was feeling. “It means I can go into whatever’s next with a clear head.” It had barely been twelve hours and already Derek had said so many gentle things to make Will’s heart race. Thankfully he didn’t make Will sit in the silence. “I guess I’m your palate cleanser because I’m your only repeat?” he wondered.</p><p>Will looked up briefly. “Yeah, but…” he trailed off, shaking his head just a little. Derek had been very forthcoming this Match, Will figured he could at least try to do the same. “It’s similar for me. In that being with you…” he trailed off, wanting to find the right words. “I don’t have to think about it as much.” </p><p>Derek nodded. “Yeah.” </p><p>He kept his eyes down, focused on his now empty plate wishing he could keep his hands busy. Derek continued eating his own pancakes in silence, but he didn’t seem upset by it.</p><p>“You wanna go to the Hub tonight?” Will asked, unsure where the question came from. He didn’t want to sit in silence and not having plans or something to do made him a little antsy. </p><p>“Sure,” Derek agreed warmly. “Anything in particular?”</p><p>Will shrugged. “Movie night?”</p><p>Derek propped his elbow up on the table and leaned into his hand with a smile. “Yeah. That’d be nice.” </p><p>“You can pick,” Will offered. </p><p>“I feel like I picked first last time,” Derek said. “Do you want to pick?”</p><p>“No, I’m up for anything.” </p><p>They let Coach decide.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>12:20:18:10</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>At the end of their night, they decided to walk home instead of take a Cart. </p><p>Derek wondered if Will opted for that because the thought of being crowded together in a Cart was less bearable than the length of the walk, but he wouldn’t ask. Derek didn’t mind walking—in the end, it really just meant more time with Will.</p><p>What would happen if Derek reached for his hand now and laced their fingers together, squeezing tightly and drawing him close? Would he panic and flee, or melt into it like the night they’d danced together in their Pod?</p><p>Derek was being too dreamy. He couldn’t get ahead of himself—they needed to talk about things first. </p><p>Tonight had been lovely, of course. The movie was fun and they had more than enough snacks but Derek knew they were just killing time until Will was ready. </p><p>“Will?” Derek prompted. </p><p>The other man folded his arms over his chest. “Yeah?” </p><p>Still not ready.</p><p>Derek looked over at him briefly. “I think I’ll shower tonight,” he told him. “When we get back to the Pod.”</p><p>“Yeah, sure. That’s fine.” </p><p>“Any chance we can get some sweets in the works?” Derek wondered. </p><p>Will snorted a little, shaking his head. “You and your sweet tooth.”</p><p>“It’s not my fault you got me hooked on fresh evening cookies,” Derek tossed back. He chose not to mention the cupcakes, hoping it might win him some brownie points. “I can help!” </p><p>“No,” Will said fondly. “I can do it. Have them ready when you’re out.” </p><p>“Thanks, man.” </p><p>Derek could wait—but he didn’t want to waste even a second of their time. He could try again tomorrow. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>Two weeks with Derek and Will couldn’t get out of his head. </p><p>He wasn’t an idiot. He knew that Derek was being more intentional about the things he said to Will, about how they spent their time. Not that <em>that </em>meant anything, but Derek being intentional about things tended to make Will’s heart feel a little more exposed than it really was. </p><p>They’re out in the backyard now. Derek’s curled up on the swing on the porch with a book and every now and then Will found himself staring again. It often wasn’t until Derek turned the page did Will realize he’d gotten lost again, his thoughts too loud and Derek too beautiful for him to focus on much anything else. </p><p>Derek would read something and exhale a laugh and Will’s eyes would shift up, attention back to Derek again, smiling at the sight of Derek’s small smile. </p><p>Was he being foolish? The System was meant for finding love, after all. And with Derek…</p><p>Not that Will loved Derek. </p><p>“Can I help you with something?” Derek finally asked.</p><p>Will’s eyes shot back up to him. “Sorry?”</p><p>“You keep looking at me?”</p><p>Will’s eyes dropped back down to his own book. “No.”</p><p>Derek’s response was warm. “Okay.” Will almost wished that he would tease him. Maybe some jibing from Derek would shake Will out of his head. Derek lowered his book though, his attention focused on Will for a moment. “Did you ever finish that book I gave you?” he asked. </p><p>“Of course,” Will told him. </p><p>Derek smiled. “Did you learn anything?” </p><p>Will rolled his eyes, thinking about <em>All About Love </em>with a warm heart. Most of the books he read here were fiction, or about history or technology. It had been the first non-fiction book he’d read in the System that he had been actively trying to apply to his life while reading. It was also the first book he’d been gifted in here.</p><p>“Sure,” Will answered. He learned a lot. Love was complicated and there were so many layers to it. Platonic, romantic, spiritual. “It’s on the shelf here if you want to read it again,” Will told him.</p><p>Derek’s smile grew. “How do you know I’ve already read it?” Will rolled his eyes. “Okay fine,” Derek said with a little laugh. “It’s one of my favorites. I feel like every time I read it I learn something new about myself.” Derek shifted backwards in his seat and focused his attention on Will which was enough to make him blush on a regular day, let alone when Derek’s talking to him about love. “Did you enjoy it?”</p><p>“Yeah, Derek,” he said. “I actually…” he trailed off, laughing a little as he looked down at the current book in his hands. “I had my next Match read it too.” </p><p>Will liked that he could pass on something Derek had given him on to someone else—especially something about <em>love</em>. The System made it hard to feel connected to Matches after the Expiry, but being able to share something like that kept Derek in his thoughts. In his heart. </p><p>Maybe Will did love Derek.</p><p>At least, as a friend. He cared deeply about Derek’s happiness and while Will certainly had thought about him romantically, he couldn’t dare think of <em>love</em> like that.</p><p>“That’s really cool Will,” Derek told him. “I’m glad you liked it.” </p><p>“I’m glad you gave it to me,” Will responded.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>11:22:28:02</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>While Derek had spent much of their first Match avoiding conversation by escaping the Pod, it was Will who started taking long evening walks during this Match. He needed out of the Pod, away from Derek and his warm eyes and soft voice. </p><p>Derek didn’t seem to mind. Will could tell that he was curious about Will’s sudden need to go on nightly runs but he didn’t ask, always giving Will the space that he was sure that he needed.</p><p>But every time Will left the Pod, whether he was actually running or just going on a walk, the space didn’t feel more open. In fact, leaving Derek behind left Will feeling more suffocated, trapped inside his own head wondering what the hell he was doing.</p><p>Why did this Match with Derek feel so different? Obviously the length of it meant something but Will had never felt this conflicted before. He wished he could talk to Derek about it without talking to Derek about it. Coach was not nearly as helpful. </p><p>“<em>Though sometimes challenging, the System was created to help you.” </em></p><p>Incredibly sage wisdom, Coach. </p><p>Will huffed, dropping his device to his side. What did he expect? Coach to tell him to suck it up and go back to Derek so they could work it out together? No—Will knew what he needed to do, but he wanted someone else to tell him to do it. </p><p>He sighed and reached for Coach again. “Coach?” he asked. “Pull up Consent?” </p><p>The screen of his small disc changed at once. Most usually, pulling up Consent was done with the other Match. </p><p>At all times it displayed yours and your Match’s allowed levels so everyone was on the same page. Most typically Will never needed to check it—either because he and his Match never got that far or the opposite—he and his Match had, which meant talking about it together and changing settings at the same time. </p><p>Those were always longer Matches, Matches that Will had time to actually let the other person in. But that was the most standard when it came to Consent, he supposed. Talking about it when it became relevant.</p><p>Not sneaking peeks on evening walks because the curiosity had finally gotten out of hand. </p><p>The screen looked different.</p><p>Will had never seen it like this before—with one person giving full consent while the other side—<em>his side</em>—remained unmoved. He stared at the screen, blinking hard to see if it was just a trick of the moon, but nothing changed. </p><p>Derek had given consent. Total consent. </p><p>Will looked up across the lake and then back down at his device, waiting for it to change back, but it didn’t. Derek had actually given consent. </p><p>“Coach?” Will rasped. The screen shifted, indiciating Coach was listening. “When did Derek give Consent?” </p><p>“<em>Consent was granted during your 4th Match with Derek.” </em></p><p>No, that couldn’t be right. Will felt his heart well up in his chest, warmth radiating from inside of him, stretching out to every inch of his body—into his fingertips, down to his toes.</p><p>“Last Match?” he asked again. </p><p>“<em>That is correct</em>.” </p><p>When last Match? What had Will said or done that made Derek sneak off to change his settings? His heart was pounding and he turned in his spot, holding Coach close to him. </p><p>Fuck—what was he waiting for? </p><p>Will drew his device out again and changed his settings before pocketing Coach and hurrying back toward his Pod as fast as his feet would carry him. He’d known that Derek had been acting differently in recent—had been looking at Will with more light in his eyes—but he’d never actually <em>said</em>… </p><p>Changing Consent was really real. It meant Derek really had thought about it, that he really wanted it. That he was being patient and just waiting for Will to get his head out of his ass. </p><p>Which—Will already knew, to some extent, but full consent? His heart was pounding. </p><p>His feet carried him back to the Pod faster than he anticipated, and as he rushed he realized he should’ve been formulating a plan. Something to say. </p><p>“Derek?” Will called. He charged into their home and found Derek on the couch with a book in his hands. He looked up when Will entered, smiling and lowering his book. “You gave consent,” he said.</p><p>Derek’s smile vanished immediately, his eyes widening as Will shut the door behind him. Silence filled their Pod and Will’s chest grew tight with fear. He didn’t think this through, he should’ve—</p><p>“Yeah,” Derek answered softly. He dogeared the page of his book and set it aside so he could focus all of his attention forward. “Of course I gave consent, Will.” Derek didn’t move from his seat but Will still felt pinned back against the door. “You checked?” </p><p>“You never said anything,” Will answered. </p><p>Derek exhaled a short breath, holding his hands palm up. “Every time I try to say anything, you literally flee the premises,” he told him. Derek kept his gaze on Will, his eyes wide as he waited for Will to speak again. But he couldn’t—he was too afraid to make himself speak. “Will,” Derek said softly. “Last Match… you said it would be better if we never saw each other again." </p><p>“No,” Will rushed, finally taking a step away from the door. “I didn’t mean that.”</p><p>“So what did you mean?” Again they were just looking at each other, no words exchanged for a moment. Slowly, Derek stood and started making his way across the room toward Will. He wished he’d kept himself planted back against the door. He stepped toward Will slowly like he was worried he might run now and honestly, Will was considering it. “Why say it?”</p><p>Will owed him an answer. “Because…” He jerked his head to the side and Derek finally closed the distance between them, grabbing one of his hands. With his touch something inside of him broke. He was so afraid of how he felt about Derek it nearly brought tears to his eyes. “Well maybe I did mean it,” he warbled weakly. </p><p>“Why?” Derek pushed. </p><p>“Because this is confusing, Derek,” Will rasped. Repeat Matches with Derek like this didn’t make any sense. Will thought he understood the System and how it worked but the truth was that he didn’t. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to want.”</p><p>“Supposed to?” Derek shook his head. “Will, it’s not about what you’re <em>supposed </em>to want.”  </p><p>Will squeezed his eyes shut but didn’t pull away. “I just don’t understand,” he whispered, rough. His voice felt thick, like the air before a thunderstorm—and speaking brought on a threat of rain. </p><p>“I mean—it’s okay,” Derek said softly. Will felt Derek’s other hand lightly cradle his cheek and he leaned into it, too unwilling to pull away. “Me neither.” His eyelids were heavy and opening his eyes took more effort than he anticipated. “I really like you, Will.” Derek drew him closer, shaking his head just a touch. “I kept… waiting for you. For us to Match again, so I could tell you. I’ve been trying to figure out how because I really want to do it right.” </p><p>As Derek spoke now, Will felt more and more like his insides were filling up with hot steam. His face felt red and his hands were sweaty but the look on Derek’s face was soft and sure, enough so that Will held his ground instead of running again. </p><p>“What are you thinking?” Derek wondered. </p><p>“I don’t know.” Derek exhaled a quiet sigh, easing back a little bit. Before Derek could let go of his hands, Will tightened his grip. “I’m just confused,” Will hurried, drawing Derek closer again. “I don’t know what to say.” </p><p>“But do you want this?” Will closed his eyes as Derek asked the question, afraid of his answer. “Will,” Derek tried again. “I thought about you all the time. When I was Matched with someone else.” Will felt his chest grow tight, still not knowing how to respond. He couldn’t weave words together like Derek could. “Did you ever think about me?” </p><p>“The System makes it so…”</p><p>“That’s not what I’m asking,” Derek murmured while Will struggled with finding the right word. “Did you think about me?” </p><p>Will’s chest seized. He opened his eyes and Derek was still watching him, waiting. “How could I not?” he whispered. </p><p>Derek shifted closer, his forehead against Will’s. “I wanna be with you,” he exhaled, ragged. “Really be with you.”</p><p>It was impossible for Derek to understand Will’s hesitation here. He couldn’t possibly; Derek wore his heart on his sleeve. Will had never had felt like this before with another Match—it was incredibly confusing and he was tired of aching. They could have this for now but when it ended it would hurt in ways other Matches ending didn’t. He hated every time Coach counted down and forced them away from one another again. He’d never felt anything so loudly before meeting Derek. </p><p>“It’s just going to end, Derek.” </p><p>Derek wasn’t deterred. His voice was silky smooth as Derek murmured, “Yeah, but we have all this time. Don’t you want it?” </p><p>Will wanted to be with Derek so badly he felt like he couldn’t breathe. </p><p>He tipped his head forward into a nod and Derek began to smile, all of it taking up his entire face as he whispered, “Can I kiss you? I really want to—”</p><p>“<em>Will has granted total Consent.” </em></p><p>Derek’s eyes widened as Coach’s words filled the air. </p><p>Not wanting to wait another second Will leaned in, closing the distance between them himself, kissing Derek’s blooming smile because he was desperate to know what it would feel like. Derek’s smile only grew, and feeling it against his lips made Will smile too. Derek lifted his hands to cup Will’s cheeks and giggled into it and kissed him quickly once, twice, three times, pulling away with a laugh before Will drew him in again. It was like the sun had been liquified and was flowing through Will’s veins—everything warm. His smile felt wide and his heart raced pleasantly and he was <em>happy</em>. </p><p>Just as quickly as it had turned silly it turned serious again, Derek’s smile fading as he and Will kissed. They moved, stumbling back a few steps until Derek had pressed Will back against the door again. It had taken weeks for them to get here and Will already knew he would be dreading when he had to give it up. Derek kissed him thoughtfully, the two of them trading breaths while Will snaked his hands beneath Derek’s shirt, up his back to feel his skin against his hands. </p><p>Derek gasped at the feeling of Will’s fingertips and pulled back just enough that Will could finish pulling the shirt up and over his head. With Derek shirtless in front of him, Will leaned back against the door and appraised him. </p><p>His eyes were dark and Will wanted him more than he ever had. </p><p>Maybe thinking Will’s pause was hesitation, Derek breathlessly asked, “Should we stop?” </p><p>“No.”</p><p>He drew him in again while Derek’s smile returned, dropping his forehead to Will’s before snatching a quick kiss. Will fumbled with his own shirt, one hand on the fabric the other reaching up to Derek’s bare chest, needing to touch him. </p><p>He’d thought about it a dozen times, dreamt of it more, but actually having Derek beneath his hands was incomparable to anything else Will had ever experienced. It felt unreal—and Derek’s unwavering smile only added to the absurdity of it. Will’s chest was a tangle of heat and all he wanted was more.</p><p>“Unless you…?” Will prompted, and Derek’s laughter against Will’s mouth was the best answer he could get.</p><p>Derek kissed his way down Will’s throat and across his collarbone and sucked like he was happy to be leaving a mark. Will fiddled with the button on Derek’s jeans and pressed him away from the door, taking control as he guided them back toward their bedroom instead. </p><p>With his button undone, Derek wiggled out of his jeans as they hurried to their room, laughing as they got caught on his ankles and needing Will to help keep him up. “Careful,” Will reprimanded warmly, which only made Derek stop moving completely so he could kiss Will another time. “Der, we’re almost—” </p><p>Derek didn’t care that they were <em>almost</em> to their bed, they made out in the doorway of their bedroom in half-dressed states, still desperate to cling to each other. Will pushed his own pants down with one hand, the other still wrapped around Derek’s waist, letting his jeans pool at his ankles. Even though their boxers were still on he could feel Derek growing hard against him, knowing he was in exactly the same boat. </p><p>Almost as though they’re thinking the same thing Derek reached out then, hands slipping under the elastic so his hands could grip Will’s bare ass. He groaned and Derek’s smile grew. </p><p>“Can we take these off?” Derek asked quietly. </p><p>Will shifted forward to help him pull his boxers down and Derek slid his hands forward, around his hips, taking Will into his hands.</p><p>To feel Derek’s hands around his cock made him dizzy. He dropped his forehead to Derek’s shoulder and gasped, trying to keep himself from falling over. He reached out, hands on Derek’s waist, and pushed down Derek’s boxers until he’d been able to reach for Derek, too. Both of them were hard and slick and Will wanted to feel both of them at once. </p><p>“Der—” he stretched his neck up to coax another kiss out of Derek, moaning at the way he melted into it. While Derek lifted his hands to cup Will’s cheeks, Will reached for Derek’s cock so he could rub them off together. </p><p>That of course only made Derek groan louder, rocking his hips forward into Will’s hand but also holding his shoulders to help keep them both up.</p><p>“Total consent?” Derek wondered. Not trusting his voice, Will simply nodded. “I wanna blow you,” Derek murmured, and Will nodded again, already knowing that he wouldn’t last long. </p><p>But he didn’t want to do this in the doorway—the bed was literally right there. He stepped backwards toward it while kicking off the rest of his clothes and Derek followed quickly until they were both stretched out on the mattress, their naked bodies wrapped around one another as they tumbled. </p><p>Will stretched forward for another kiss, pinned beneath him before Derek kissed his way down his body—along his throat, across his chest. </p><p>Will sunk backwards onto their bed and closed his eyes to keep the world from spinning out of control in front of him. He gripped the sheets beneath him and let out a strained breath as Derek got lower and lower, the weight of his body on Will’s intoxicating. </p><p>Derek left featherlight kisses on his hip bones and along his shaft before taking Will into his mouth easily. Will groaned; to look up and see Derek’s gray eyes wide, looking over at Will from where he sat perched by the edge of the bed left him breathless.  </p><p>As expected, Will didn’t last long. Derek swallowed when he came before crawling up the bed to kiss Will another time, the taste salty on his lips. He struggled to push himself to sit up which made Derek laugh into the kiss, but Will wanted to touch him. He wanted Derek to feel as good as he did. </p><p>“C’mere,” Will murmured. He reached for Derek who rocked his hips forward, into Will’s hands as he stroked him. “Is this good?” Derek nodded as he closed his eyes. “You want more?”</p><p>“Just—faster,” Derek exhaled, tight. Will picked up the pace and Derek groaned, and it wasn’t long before he came too. </p><p>After, they collapsed on their bed together, a mess of sweaty tangled limbs. </p><p>Will spoke first. “We’ll need to change the sheets.” </p><p>Derek fell apart laughing, slinging his arms over his face as though he could hide his expansive joy by doing so. “And shower,” he added. </p><p>Will smiled, tipping his head over to look at the spot Derek had fallen beside him. Maybe hearing the sound, Derek turned and looked over at Will too, moving his arm from his face. They spent a moment just looking at each other before Will huffed a little, looking up toward the ceiling. </p><p>“I didn’t know that we’d ever…” Derek trailed off and Will looked back, feeling his face warm at Derek’s words. “I mean I’ve wanted to. I just can’t believe you did too.” </p><p>Will shook his head a little, feeling overwhelmed. They’d hardly spoken about it—Will knew more conversations about feelings and Matching and sex were to follow, even though Will still thought he would struggle through them. </p><p>“Obviously, Derek.”</p><p>“I don’t like to be assumptious,” Derek murmured with a smile.</p><p>Will rolled his eyes. “Are you kidding? Look at you.” </p><p>Derek’s smile grew. “I think you’re really sexy,” he responded slowly. Hearing it said so simply brought a blush to Will’s chest. Derek’s eyes shifted to follow it and Will’s face scrunched up as he prepared to say something that didn’t matter anyway. Derek rolled closer for another kiss, shaking his head slightly. “All part of the appeal,” he told him. </p><p>“I knew you were dirty minded.”</p><p>Derek grinned. “Very. But—” he leaned over, stealing another quick kiss from Will that only sparked his blush all over again. “You’re the one always talking about sex.”</p><p>“I am not.”</p><p>“Oookay,” Derek said with a laugh. “Keep telling yourself that.” </p><p>As their skin began to cool, the panic started to set in. Will was immediately struck with an urge to find Coach, to check their remaining time and fret over it. </p><p>“Do you want to shower first?” Will asked. </p><p>Derek looked back to him, eyebrows high on his forehead, smile not fading at the notion of them not showering together. “Sure,” Derek said warmly. “I’ll be quick.” </p><p>He expected Derek to hop out of bed then but instead he rolled toward Will again, drawing him in for another kiss. Will melted into it, relief washing over him at the feel of Derek’s mouth on his own again. They made out a little bit, Derek’s tongue lazily brushing against Will’s lips, before Derek finally climbed out of bed. </p><p>The moment the bathroom door was shut Will sunk back down with a sigh. What the hell had he gotten himself into now?</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>By the time Derek got out of the shower, Will had finished changing the sheets. He’d pulled on his boxers again and passed Derek as he exited, no words traded between them as they switched places. Derek got dressed quickly, just pulling on a pair of sweats, before heading off to make some tea. </p><p>He was so deliriously happy. </p><p>Derek wasn’t a fool—he knew Will still held hesitation in his bones. He could sense it radiating off of him in waves of anxiety and tension. But he wasn’t deterred. Derek was ready for whatever conversations they needed to have, fully aware of the fact that he’d likely be the one to start them. He didn’t care. </p><p>He liked Will so much. </p><p>As he started the kettle Derek reflected on his past Matches—how none of them had ever been as exciting as this, as hopeful. What he had with Will felt different than anything else he had—even with some of his repeat Matches that he liked. Will was special. The fact that they’d gone from not even sleeping in the same room to <em>this </em>felt like magic, almost. Something that should be impossible, which made it so much more wonderful that it wasn’t. </p><p>Derek had left his Coach on the table in the living room and he walked out to grab it, checking their remaining time with a swell of joy. </p><p>They still had so many days together. So many hours. So much time that they could do whatever they wanted with.</p><p>Derek laughed to himself and returned to the kitchen to finish preparing his tea, passing their puzzle table on the way and popping a couple of pieces into place. </p><p>He kept out of the bedroom until he was sure Will finished showering and getting dressed, eventually joining him with two cups of tea, one for each of them. Will accepted the mug with a muted smile from where he was sitting, perched on the edge of the bed that he’d already made-up again. </p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>Derek smiled too, lingering a few steps away so he could drink his tea. He leaned back against the doorway and watched as Will took a sip. </p><p>“Did you check the Expiry?” Derek wondered. Will’s eyes shot up to meet his and in them Derek had his answer—of course Will had. He looked down again instead of responding and Derek shrugged a little. “It’s still more time than we’ve ever had together, Will.”</p><p>“I didn’t say anything.”</p><p>“Yeah…” but Derek knew what he was thinking. They both took another drink of their tea—this one with lavender and cinnamon. (Derek knew Will loved cinnamon.) He had to ask. “Do you wish we hadn’t—”</p><p>“No,” Will interrupted. He sighed a little and Derek felt himself ease. “Sorry, just—this is weird, Derek.”</p><p>“How is it any weirder than any other Match?” he asked seriously. </p><p>“Because I don’t have repeat Matches,” Will told him. “Only you.” Derek didn’t know that. “So I don’t know. I’m just thinking.”</p><p>“What do you mean you don’t have repeat Matches?”</p><p>“I mean I’ve never Matched with someone more than once. Except you.” </p><p>Derek felt like his heart was expanding in his chest. He didn’t know what it meant but for some reason it felt incredibly important. He lowered his mug from where he’d been holding it a little higher up, trying to process this information. </p><p>“You never said—”</p><p>“I know,” Will interrupted again. </p><p>“Well why didn’t you—?”</p><p>“Because,” he sighed tiredly, closing his eyes. “None of this comes with… an instruction manual.” </p><p>Derek let the silence hang in the air for a moment before asking, “What do you think it means?”</p><p>Will shook his head, looking back up to answer, “Fuck if I know.”</p><p>Derek exhaled a laugh, lifting his mug up for another drink. </p><p>He left Will in their room to give him some space while he finished off his tea, returning to their puzzle table to fit a few more pieces into their spots. The puzzle they were currently working on was 1500 pieces, a beautiful scene of the sun setting over the ocean. The colors were soothing and connecting pieces to build out the image made Derek feel good. </p><p>He sat there until Will came out with his empty mug to place in the sink, grabbing Derek’s empty one from the table too as he passed. When he returned, Will stopped behind him, lifting his hand to rest on Derek’s shoulder lightly. To feel Will’s touch so casually made Derek’s heart spin.</p><p>“Bed?” Will asked quietly. </p><p>Derek followed him to their room quickly, eager to be wrapped up in Will again. </p><p>They hit the lights as they passed them and crawled under the sheets. Derek didn’t want Will feeling uncomfortable—if he was still conflicted or unsure about this then Derek wouldn’t push him—but the moment they were in bed Will drew him close. </p><p>Derek sighed in relief, sliding his ankles between Will’s, loving the feeling of the other man’s calloused hands on his back as he leaned in for the kiss. Despite Will’s obvious hesitation when he spoke, he kissed like he knew exactly what he wanted. Derek let him take control and when Will shifted, rolling so he was basically on top of Derek again, Derek didn’t mind. He sank down and drew Will closer, wishing the weight of his body on Derek’s was enough to keep them in this moment forever. </p><p>Of course it didn’t last. Just as quickly as it started, Will drew back with a sigh, dropping back into the open spot in bed and rolling away just a touch.</p><p>Derek sighed too, unsure what to say. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Will murmured, facing elsewhere.</p><p>“It’s okay,” Derek hurried. He reached out, gently resting his hand on Will’s side. “Talk to me,” he softened. “What is it?”</p><p>Will hesitated. He looked over to Derek and away again but Derek nodded, encouraging him on. Eventually Will said, “You slept with Adam.”</p><p>Okay, not where Derek thought this was going. He huffed, rolling back to his side with a frown. “Oh—Will. Seriously? We’re literally in bed together. Why—?”</p><p>“No, no,” Will rushed. He moved to sit up, reaching for Derek again so he wouldn’t move too far away. “I meant—sorry.” His face flooded with pink. “You said you were Matched twice—was it the first time, or…?”</p><p>Derek was still a little frustrated with the question. He didn’t want to talk about an old Match now, Adam least of all. “<em>Why</em>.”</p><p>“Well I just figured—sorry—I’m thinking—you said you’ve had multiple Matches but I never have so I don’t know—I’ve been thinking about the odds of Matching again now that we’ve—and so—”</p><p>“Oh.” Derek finally understood where the statement had come from—where all of this hesitation started. He moved closer to Will again, lifting his hand to cradle his cheek. Will closed his eyes at the touch, squeezing them so tightly it looked as though he might have a headache. “I’ve been intimate with Matches and then still Matched with them again,” he told him. </p><p>Will visibly relaxed. His eyes fluttered open again as he whispered, “You have?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Derek confirmed with a nod. He traced his thumb along Will’s jaw and watched as he closed his eyes again with a soft sigh. Derek hadn’t realized that had been a fear of Will’s. “You were worried about that?”</p><p>“It had come to mind,” he admitted quietly. </p><p>Of course. As Will’s only repeat Match he didn’t have anything to compare it against. All of his last Matches—when they were over, they were gone. </p><p>Derek’s smile overwhelmed him and he was grateful that Will had closed his eyes. “You want to Match with me again?” Derek asked.</p><p>He clearly couldn’t keep the smile out of his voice because Will’s eyes opened then and he scoffed. “Oh—don’t.” </p><p>Derek drew him back in for a kiss. “I’ll Match with you again.”</p><p>“Like we have any say in the matter,” he murmured against Derek’s mouth. </p><p>It didn’t matter, Derek’s smile wasn’t going anywhere. He slid his hands into Will’s hair and deepened the kiss, sweeter than honey. There was no more hesitation as Will returned the kiss, his hands dragging down Derek’s back to keep him close. He wanted to kiss every inch of Will’s body, to study him with his mouth and his hands until he had no memory of anyone else.</p><p>“We don’t actually know,” Derek whispered against Will’s throat. “If the System takes into account what we want. You know?” He felt Will sigh and Derek nestled in a little closer. “So why not want it?” he prompted. </p><p>Will didn’t answer. Instead he drew Derek up, in to kiss his lips another time.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>The morning greeted Will gently, sunshine nudging him awake through the window. </p><p>He shifted as he drew in a long breath and with it he realized how tangled with Derek he’d become through the night. Will closed his eyes and eased back into it, exhaling deeply. In truth, Will loved to be held. There was something wonderful about someone else’s hands on you—especially when you trusted that person deeply. </p><p>Will trusted Derek more than he had any Match before—even out of the longest ones. But that alone wouldn’t absolve him of his fears. He tried falling back asleep but it was no use—his mind was awake at once, already scolding him for being so stupid—for letting it get this far. Everything with Derek felt more important than anything he’d done with any Match before and that was terrifying. Especially in a System that made decisions for you.</p><p>It wasn’t until he felt Derek’s thumb tracing small circles on his hip did Will realize Derek must know that he’d been awake for some time. He was normally up with the sunrise but sleeping or not Will had wanted to share the bed like this a little longer. He shifted again and opened his eyes, finding Derek blinking his eyes open too. He smiled softly and Will’s chest felt as though someone had set off fireworks inside his lungs. </p><p>Derek’s eyes drifted shut again as he murmured, “G’morning.” </p><p>That, too, sent Will’s chest spinning. </p><p>He shifted away a little as he tried to regain control of his own body and Derek didn’t seem to mind, easing backwards to give Will the space he needed. </p><p>“Morning,” Will rasped. Though his eyes had fallen shut again, Derek’s mouth curved into a small smile. “I’m… gonna make coffee,” Will managed.</p><p>“Come back after?”</p><p>Will nodded, voice still a little unsure after everything that had happened, forgetting Derek’s eyes had been closed.</p><p>He took his time in the kitchen making the coffee. It was still early, the sun not even really in the sky, so everything felt a little sleepy and gray. He thought about Derek curled up in their bed in the warm pillows that Will had left behind and his heart somersaulted. </p><p>They still had so much time. Over a week together. A week to just… do some more of this and figure out which bits felt the best and—</p><p>Then it would be over.</p><p>Will shut the thought out of his head as he puttered around, deciding to linger in the kitchen as the pot roared to life instead of returning to Derek in the interim. He didn’t pace but he did watch the entire pot of coffee brew, his thoughts looping between different scenarios that weren’t exactly helpful.</p><p>If he hadn’t left Coach on his bedside table he’d check how much time they had left. He knew it was horrible to constantly be reminding himself but he couldn’t help it. Especially now, that what he was losing with Derek had grown into something more.</p><p>But—he thought they’d stop at three Matches, and they didn’t, so… they’d probably Match again, right? Derek said he’d been intimate with repeat Matches and it hadn’t impacted things.</p><p>Although a two week Match for their <em>fifth</em> Match did also seem rather significant… </p><p>Finally the coffee had finished and Will poured two large mugs, leaving enough space in Derek’s to add a hearty amount of creamer, before slowly returning to the bedroom. Derek seemed to have fallen back asleep in Will’s absence, blinking himself awake with a smile upon Will’s return. </p><p>“Careful,” Will said as he passed it over.</p><p>Derek sat up to take the mug while Will settled on the edge of the mattress. He took a sip of his drink and watched Derek do the same—the quiet not uncomfortable, really, but certainly charged with something. </p><p>“So…” Derek prompted after a few moments. “Are you having thoughts?”</p><p>Yeah, so many. </p><p>Derek was the most beautiful man to ever exist. The way the sunlight shone through their window left him glowing and golden. His hair was nicely tousled, and he stretched out across their bed like he’d decided to claim the entire thing for both of them instead of sticking to the sides they’d had since their very first Match. Something about his ability to make their two separate spaces seamlessly become one had Will’s chest already rumbling with heat. </p><p>“Nothing useful,” he admitted. Derek’s wicked smile did nothing to settle the fire raging in Will’s chest. He took another drink of his coffee to keep himself from setting his jaw. He still didn’t understand how they’d ended up here. “Why did you keep giving me chances?” he asked. </p><p>Derek’s smile faded a little. He set his mug down on the bedside table and directed all of his attention to Will. “The System seemed to think it was a good idea.”</p><p>“You don’t like the System.” </p><p>Derek’s face shifted, his eyebrows furrowing together if only for a moment before he shrugged. “But I like you.” </p><p>Will shook his head and turned away, still confused and now more flustered than anything else. He didn’t understand it. Maybe if Derek had given up on him too, the System would’ve just moved on. But it kept coming back to them, again and again. </p><p>“I don’t deserve it,” he muttered. “I was awful to you.” </p><p>“You’ve already apologized,” Derek reminded him slowly. He pushed himself to sit up on his knees. “I was a dick too, that’s way behind us.” Will kept his eyes down but Derek carried on. “I don’t care, Will. The System is fucked—whatever, I still like you.” Will looked up and found Derek smiling, warm. Always so warm. “I’m glad we’ve matched a million times—I’m glad we have this now.” Derek laughed a little, reaching for him. “Like, it’s time, man. Let’s have a real fucking Match and <em>enjoy </em>it.” </p><p>Will exhaled, still not sure how he deserved it but less willing to question it.</p><p>He shook his head a little, mostly in disbelief. “You won’t find anything special the deeper you dig,” Will warned gently. He didn’t want Derek getting his hopes up that there was something beneath all of this.</p><p>This was it. This was all Will was—a sometimes awful man who was still trying to figure out how to love someone well.</p><p>But as he said that, Derek’s face shifted with shock. “You already are,” he said easily. “I don’t need to dig deep. You as you are is great, Will.”</p><p>He shook his head again and leaned forward to set his mug down before shifting back over to draw Derek in for a kiss. He hoped it could convey the words that he couldn’t say. </p><p>None of his other Matches had ever made him feel like this. Safe—<em>loved</em>. </p><p>Will climbed back in bed with Derek and greedily kissed his smile away, happy to spend the day in bed. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>10:22:28:21</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>In truth, things didn’t change too much. Will still cooked for them, offering to teach Derek every now and again. They worked on puzzles and went to the Hub. At night they made cookies. </p><p>But sometimes Derek would look at Will a little longer than he would before and Will would feel himself blush. And instead of looking away Will would lean toward him slowly, and Derek would lean in too. Sometimes they’d kiss only for a moment; sometimes Derek would press Will against the fridge and slide his hands into Will’s hair and suck on his neck like he didn’t have any other plans for the day. </p><p>(They usually didn’t.)</p><p>And at night they would climb in bed together, waiting until the other was ready before actually crawling beneath the sheets. They would wrap themselves around each other and Will would fall asleep matching Derek’s steady breathing, or—sometimes sleep came later, Will breathless on his back, Derek murmuring nothings while they both came down.</p><p>Will was enchanted. </p><p>Derek made him feel so unafraid and he still didn’t completely understand how or when he’d allowed himself to become so unraveled. </p><p>(So, okay, a lot of things changed.)</p><p>Derek would reach across the table at meals to grab Will’s hand just so he could kiss his fingertips. And Will didn’t mind that Derek strode right for him in the morning after he stumbled out of their room, sleepy and just wanting to nuzzle into Will’s neck for an early kiss or two. </p><p>After finally crossing this bridge of intimacy with Derek, everything else felt natural. </p><p>With Will’s biggest fear behind him—that the System wouldn’t Match them again now that they’d been together—he realized he was less afraid to linger in all the wonderful moments than he might’ve been before. </p><p>After all, it wasn’t like the System had any reason to stop Matching them now—now that they fit seamlessly beside one another like it was predestined. </p><p>Still early in their Match that felt so impossibly long, they stretched out in bed one night, musing over why it was different this time. Two weeks instead of one. What might’ve changed that made the System change, too. </p><p>“Maybe it gave us two weeks so you would finally let yourself want this,” Derek murmured. </p><p>Will shook his head at once, eyes falling shut. “I always wanted this,” he murmured back. </p><p>He felt Derek’s hand go firm by his hip, pulling Will a touch closer. “That can’t be true,” Derek said softly. Yet it was, and Will couldn’t open his eyes. He knew how ridiculous all of this had been—how horrible he’d treated Derek toward the start of this. “Will,” he whispered.</p><p>“How’re you supposed to want anything that’ll just be gone at the end of the week?” </p><p>“Those early Matches…” Derek prompted.</p><p>Will knew he owed him honesty. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I really do believe that if we had more time from the beginning it would’ve been different.” It was hard for him to put to words. “I didn’t really mind that you were so… much. But was more frustrated because the Match was so short, I think. I’ve always thought you were nice to look at.” </p><p>“That’s not the same as <em>wanting </em>it. Really wanting it.” </p><p>“Last Match, then,” Will told him, sure. “I remember thinking about kissing you.” </p><p>Derek smiled, not deterred. “I thought about it a lot.” </p><p>“Before that I remember just—wanting more time.” But Will knew what wanting more time really meant. It meant being able to develop this relationship the way he wanted—being able to be physical together or more emotionally intimate. “I guess we’ll never know.” He tipped his head at Derek, studying the smile on his face and trying to commit it to memory. “That first Match,” Will started slowly. “Would you have wanted… more?” </p><p>“I was certainly open to it,” Derek told him. “I was really excited, honestly. To spend a week with someone.” Derek’s smile was mischievous but his eyes were sad. “I’m sure we could’ve gotten up to some trouble.”</p><p>Will pulled him in for a kiss then, unwilling to think about all the time they’d wasted. </p><p>He felt grateful all over again that Derek hadn’t just given up on him completely. Will still didn’t know that he truly deserved it but he wanted to, so for Derek he would try. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>Derek was blissed out.</p><p>He didn’t think he’d ever been this happy before in his life. He of course had hoped that Will felt the same as he did but he’d never have been able to actually anticipate the joy that came with confirmation of it. </p><p>Ever since their confessions a few nights before, Derek had been unable to shake his smile. He still couldn’t completely believe it. Like maybe he’d walk into the kitchen one of these times and find out he was actually in the middle of another Match and all of this had been some fucked up, elaborate dream. </p><p>Will was less keen to talk about it than Derek was, but that was okay. He knew intimacy read differently for everyone, and the feeling of Will’s fingertips on the inside of Derek’s wrist felt more like he’d been sharing a secret than anything else. Every kiss with Will was different, sometimes his mouth unsure, sometimes his hands sliding beneath his shirt to feel his skin. He liked when Will took the lead—as though saying without words that he wanted this as much as Derek did.</p><p>Derek couldn’t get enough. </p><p>They still talked—sharing laughter over jokes from Matches past or stories from Before, weaving stories of their childhood homes or best friends. After movies they would rant or rave, while reading books they would interrupt here and there. Derek could listen to Will talk about nothing for hours, simply enjoying the way his voice grew higher as he grew more passionate.</p><p>He would take every moment as they came, Derek decided immediately, and he would cherish them.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>08:02:19:04</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“And then you just…” Derek cut the plant in two where the obvious halves were, one larger than the other, so he had two separated plants in his hands. “Now you have a new plant.”</p><p>Will watched as Derek worked methodically, careful not to hurt the roots as he transferred each of the new plants to a new pot. </p><p>They were out on the back porch now, Will up in one of the wicker chairs while Derek knelt on the ground. They’d grown into an easy routine of intimacy that involved a lot of shared space, even if they weren’t always keen on doing what the other wanted. (Will hated the Hub, but grocery shopping with Derek felt more fun than he’d ever remembered it to be.) </p><p>“Do you think it matters?” he asked.</p><p>Derek looked up, confused. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“So now you have two plants,” Will said. “We leave this Pod… what happens to them? Does it matter?”</p><p>Derek’s eyebrows lifted with shock and he smiled before he shrugged a little. “Maybe they follow us. New plants in new Pods. Or—if we get Matched again…” he trailed off. Will rolled his eyes, not wanting to toy with the thought. “Maybe they reuse Pods and so whoever gets here next will just have two plants instead of one to water.” </p><p>“Maybe they hate plants and you’re making more work for them.”</p><p>Derek’s smile was unrelenting. “If they hate plans then they’re miserable people and this will be good for them,” he answered easily. Will leaned back on his palms and smiled too. “Does it have to matter?” he wondered back.</p><p>The question made Will pause. “No,” he answered quietly. “I guess not.” They were both quiet for a moment before Will asked, “Do you have a garden? Outside of here?” </p><p>Derek returned his focus to the plants instead of Will, making sure each had plenty of space before he placed them in, roots and all. “I’m not sure,” he admitted. “I feel like the longer I’m here it’s harder to remember everything about who I am outside of here.” Will’s smile flickered at the serious tone of Derek’s voice. “But I know I have a <em>lot </em>of plants.”</p><p>“Probably because you propagate the hell out of the ones you already have.”</p><p>Derek grinned. “Plants make great gifts. And great company.” </p><p>“I don’t have any.”</p><p>“Not for much longer, once we leave here,” Derek commented easily. Will’s chest expanded at the thought of it. He looked up and Derek’s eyes shot elsewhere, a lovely pink rising to his cheeks. “Or, well.” </p><p>It wasn’t often Derek would blush—he must have been embarrassed by his comment. The implication that they would be leaving here together. </p><p>“I could stand to get a few,” Will told him, trying not to focus on it. He could admit that the amount of greenery in all of the Pods throughout the System had been comforting in ways he wasn’t used to. He couldn’t admit he didn’t want to think about leaving Derek. “I’ll need some recommendations, obviously. So I don’t kill them.” </p><p>“Snake plants are some of the most durable house plants,” Derek said quickly. His blush lingered but he seemed undeterred, and more than anything it made Will smile. “Especially if you forget to water them, which I feel like you would.” </p><p>“Not <em>intentionally</em>. But… yeah. Maybe.” </p><p>“They’re good starter plants. I’ll get you a list.” </p><p>Derek dimmed after that, his attention focused on the plants rather than explaining them to Will, which was really the entire reason Will had come outside with him anyway.</p><p>“Hey,” Will murmured. Derek’s eyes shifted toward him only for a moment. Once he was looking away again Will pushed himself to stand, crossing the few steps it took to get to Derek, who’d looked up at the noise in the meantime. Once he reached Derek he bent down, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head.</p><p>“Sorry,” Derek murmured.</p><p>Will shook his head. They didn’t have to talk about it. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>07:00:45:12</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Derek pulled back and Will chased him, leaning in to close the distance every time. “Stop it,” Will reprimanded.</p><p>“What?” he exhaled.</p><p>Will kissed him again. “Smiling.” </p><p>He couldn’t. It was impossible to stop smiling once Derek knew that Will would follow after him if he got too far, all to kiss him again. That he would cup Derek’s cheek to pull him back up if Derek had drawn away to kiss Will somewhere else. That he would straddle Derek on their bed to keep him from crawling away. </p><p>“I like kissing you,” Derek murmured breathlessly. </p><p>Even now, Will smiled against his lips. “Shh.” It was dizzying. Will kissed him again, his tongue slowly parting Derek’s lips to deepen it further, making Derek moan. Will drew back with a grin, shaking his head slowly. “You’re ridiculous,” he exhaled. </p><p>Derek wound his arms behind Will’s neck and he melted down into the pillows, dragging Will with him. “I like you so much,” he told him weakly.</p><p>He said it a lot. All the time. In the morning when Will brought him coffee. In the afternoon when they stretched out together on the couch. In the evening while fighting over pieces on the puzzle. Derek liked Will and he never wanted him to forget.</p><p>Will laughed and settled in, pressing a few unsure but tender kisses to Derek’s jaw and throat where Derek had pulled him. Each of them warmed Derek to his bones. He slid one of his hands into Will’s hair and sighed, the other slowly drifting up his back. He couldn’t believe he could have something so wonderful. </p><p>“You’re alright,” Will murmured in a warm voice. Derek’s heart soared. He drew Will in for another kiss and both of them were smiling into it this time, which left Will absolutely no room to reprimand him. “I like you too,” he added breathlessly, just in case Derek had any doubt.</p><p>He wanted Will to say it again and again and again and again. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>06:03:36:28</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Will was grumpy. </p><p>Derek could always tell because he held it in his shoulders, or the set of his jaw. Cabinets would slam a little louder, and he kept his space like even a glimpse at Derek would make him angry. He disappeared sometime mid-afternoon and returned, still visibly frustrated—like maybe he thought a jog through the System would make him feel better and he grew even more upset that it hadn’t helped him.</p><p>“You okay?” Derek asked as he entered their Pod. </p><p>Will frowned. He drew Coach out of his pocket and dropped it on the coffee table without saying anything, passing Derek and heading straight for their room. Derek heard the shower turn on, and some time later Will came out of their room fresh and clean but still looking sour. </p><p>“Hey,” Derek said as Will dropped onto the other side of the couch. “What’s up?”</p><p>“What?” he asked. Derek gestured vaguely toward him. “I didn’t sleep well,” Will muttered.</p><p>“Okay,” Derek said gently. “So come nap.” He beckoned, gesturing toward his lap. “I’m very comfy.”</p><p>Will’s frown grew deeper, but Derek pat his lap another time and he eventually pushed himself to stand. He grumped the entire time but Derek didn’t mind. Once he was settled, his head in Derek’s lap, Will was asleep almost at once. </p><p>He wondered what had set Will off this time. They’d had their small squabbles here and there since settling into the new them, but Derek was never really sure what started it. Will still wasn’t as communicative about some things as Derek wished he was—but that was fine. They were learning one another, still. That was part of what made it so good.</p><p>Will’s hair was as soft as silk and Derek would happily spend hours twisting his fingers through it. The ends curled out naturally, still damp from his shower, and Derek couldn’t help but wonder what another few inches would look like. </p><p>In his sleeping state, it was easy for Derek to stare. Will was so beautiful, much more attention grabbing than his book, and Derek already worried at how quickly their days were counting down. He wasn’t ready for this to end yet. He didn’t think it was fair that other people got months with Will while he was stuck counting the hours. </p><p>He wondered if Will had been checking the Expiry again. He wondered how it weighed on him.</p><p>Some time later, Will stirred awake with a deep breath, his eyes fluttering open before quickly falling shut again as he settled back into himself. He made no motion to move and Derek made no motion to rush him, setting his book aside completely and twisting his fingers on the ends of Will’s hair.</p><p>“How are you?” Derek greeted gently. </p><p>Will nuzzled into Derek’s hand sleepily, his eyes still shut. “Sorry,” he murmured. “For earlier.”</p><p>“It’s okay. You were tired.” </p><p>Will knew Derek was letting him off the hook. “Thank you.” </p><p>He smiled. “Wanna talk about it?” </p><p>As expected, Will tipped his head to the side, just enough that Derek knew there wouldn’t be any more follow-up. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>04:22:49:11</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“I want to see the Ocean Simulation,” Derek told him.</p><p>Will missed the ocean. At the mere suggestion of it his heart felt a little tug he couldn’t quite explain. While he usually resisted the Hub he nodded at once, suggesting that they make a trip to see it. “Have you gone before?”</p><p>Derek hadn’t, and that made Will want to go even more. </p><p>They readied themselves and left immediately, plans in the System most often just born on a whim, and while Will used to find himself frustrated with it he had cared less and less the more often he did it with Derek. Walks by the lake, or a pick-up game of hockey. </p><p>Going to the Hub with a Match always felt like it was more important than it should be for some reason. An intentional outing, a time to be together. A date.</p><p>As their Cart arrived at the massive building Will could acknowledge another reason he hated the Hub—it was an ugly, massively large gray square filled with absolutely anything imaginable. They at least could’ve made it a little nicer to look at.</p><p>“It’s fine, Will,” Derek laughed as he grumbled about it. “You only think that because you miss design.”</p><p>“I could’ve designed this better.”</p><p>“Then do it,” Derek challenged with a grin. He extended his hand as they strode inside and Will accepted it without thinking. </p><p>They laced their fingers together as they searched for the map and Will found that he wasn’t thinking about the strangers around them and what they might think—all he wanted to do was keep Derek close. </p><p>He knew they were running out of time and every time he checked Coach he felt himself growing faint—more frustrated. When Will realized they had less than a week left he wanted to lock himself in a closet and scream.</p><p>“Oh, 43rd floor,” Derek said, pointing to a small scroll of text in the far corner of the map. </p><p>“We could’ve just asked Coach.”</p><p>Derek squeezed his hand. “Less fun.”</p><p>They strode off for the elevator and let it take them up, and then they had to search another map to see where on the 43rd floor out of all the simulators was the <em>ocean specific</em> one. Upon arrival they had to select their preferred ocean, and the fact that there were so many steps made Will think it would take away from the magic.</p><p>But after everything had been entered, they opened a door and strode down a hallway, the room changing around them. First the smell in the air, then the feel of the breeze. Will inhaled deeply and was instantly transported to the coastline he’d grown up on. He started walking faster and Derek’s smile grew. The sound was next—the gulls, the waves crashing on the shore. Beneath them the white hallway tile became filled with sand. </p><p>A few more steps and Will turned to look behind them and it had all dissolved—nothing but the shoreline behind them and the ocean in front. He and Derek both paused and turned, marveling at how quickly things had transformed before them—how seamlessly. </p><p>Before they reached the water Will stooped down, his hands in the sand just to feel it.</p><p>“How do they do it?” Will rasped, a handful of sand that had been warmed by the sun that wasn’t there, but felt very much so like it was. The entire beach—the ocean stretching out in front of them for miles and miles—impossible to comprehend.</p><p>Derek hummed, closing his eyes and breathing it in. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>03:05:49:30</strong>
</p><p> </p><p><br/>
“Let’s make a gingerbread house tonight,” Derek said.</p><p>Will frowned. “What? Why?”</p><p>“Why not?” Derek asked, smiling. “Do you not know how to make gingerbread dough?”</p><p>“Well, no, but—Coach probably does.” </p><p>No weather, no seasons, no holidays. Derek wanted to keep things interesting, and he missed the way things were outside the System. Besides… who else would be building gingerbread houses with Will? He wanted special moments for this man to remember him by when the Expiry made them part again.</p><p>“So is that a yes?”</p><p>Will’s eyes were warm. “Coach?” he asked.</p><p>“<em>Will?</em>”</p><p>“Do you know how to make gingerbread dough?”</p><p>“<em>Affirmative. Would you like the instructions read aloud or displayed on the screen?”</em></p><p>“The screen’s fine,” Will said. He moved to grab his device while Derek sat up in his seat, fighting a smile. He watched Will scan the recipe for a little bit before he said, “Easy enough. Yeah, okay.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Derek asked.</p><p>“Whatever,” Will confirmed. His words felt uncaring but the tone of his voice was bright. “We’ll have to go to the Hub for supplies.”</p><p>“Or we can send for them,” Derek returned, knowing Will didn’t like the Hub and also knowing that they could fool around while they waited. He said this in a way that Will knew exactly what he meant. Will pursed his lips to keep himself from smiling, but Derek arched his eyebrows and he broke. </p><p>“Okay.” </p><p>“Coach,” Derek said. “You know what to do.”</p><p>Will laughed as Derek dragged him off toward their bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them. </p><p>They were nearly completely undressed by the time the Cart from the Hub with their ingredients arrived, and try as Derek might to keep them in bed, Will was insistent they actually make the cookies. </p><p>“It was your idea after all,” Will told him with a smug look while pulling on some sweats. “And we’ll have more time while they’re in the oven.”</p><p>Derek hurried after him like he was walking on air.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>1:21:40:24</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Will had suggested the sunset earlier that morning, and planning their evening around it had turned out to be really nice. They cooked together in the kitchen before eating together on the patio. By the time the sun had started drifting lower toward the horizon Derek felt full and happy. He poured glasses of wine for both of them and they moved to sit on the swing, nestling side by side as the sky shifted with color. </p><p>While the evening settled around them, Derek was struck with the sudden realization that this easy familiarity would be gone soon.</p><p>Will would be gone soon. </p><p>His chest seized with sadness and he looked over at the man beside him, wondering what thoughts Will had hidden behind his quiet exterior. </p><p>“What’s your favorite color in the sunset?” Derek asked.</p><p>Will tipped his head to the side, just slightly, before extending his hand that wasn’t tangled with Derek’s. “You see that strip of red, beneath those clouds? Almost… neon.” Derek nodded and squeezed his hand. “That one.” </p><p>“Like your hair.” Will snorted and Derek leaned over to snatch a quick kiss. “I like that color too.”</p><p>“Is it your favorite?” Will asked without missing a beat.</p><p>“No.” Derek scanned the sky. “Guess.”</p><p>Will was quiet for a moment before answering. “Either one of the yellows, or one of the purples.”</p><p>Derek hummed, amused. “Say more.”</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>“Will,” Derek laughed. “Tell me your thoughts. I love your thoughts. Humor me.”</p><p>Will looked over to him, holding Derek’s gaze for a moment before returning his eyes to the sunset. “Well it’s either…” he trailed off, hesitant. “Yellows are the last of the day. Purples are the beginning of the night. There’s something about that. Maybe.”</p><p>Derek couldn’t believe that this Match was set to end. “It’s the yellows,” he answered softly. “The more golden ones, to be specific. Just feels really warm.” </p><p>Will looked back to him but Derek hadn’t even looked away once, trying to memorize every inch of Will’s face before their time ran out. Their eyes met and Derek’s heart felt heavy in his chest; when Will looked at him like this he felt more understood than he ever had before.</p><p>“I don’t want this to end,” Derek murmured suddenly. He didn’t even want to have to voice it, but he knew that Will wouldn’t. “What are you thinking?”</p><p>Will quickly returned his gaze to the sunset, brow furrowed. “I don’t know. That’s just how all of this works.”</p><p>Derek felt his chest tighten. “What, the System?” When Will didn’t answer, Derek scoffed in frustration. “Will, talk to me.” </p><p>“Yeah, the System,” he muttered, and—finally, something other than neutrality. Derek would take Will’s snark over his numbness any day of the week. “You Match, you Expire.”</p><p>“I’m not talking about the System though,” Derek stressed. “I’m talking about <em>this</em>. This Match. Me and you, right now.” Will sighed and folded his arms over his chest, pulling his hand from Derek’s. It made him want to scream. “This past Match, Will—” Derek didn’t want to push him but he couldn’t stifle himself any longer—he was aching and wanted to talk about it. Wanted to know if Will was too. “I really like being with you.”</p><p>Will was quiet for a moment before he let out a tight breath. “It’s ending…” he shrugged and glanced over at Derek, but only for a moment. “There’s nothing we can do about it.” </p><p>“We can talk about it,” Derek responded quietly.</p><p>“That doesn’t change that it’s ending.” </p><p>Derek felt his eyes well up with tears. He looked away and moved to stand, not wanting to cry in front of Will if that was what it came to, but the second he was on his feet Will was too. He reached out for his hand and pulled Derek back, shaking his head a little, still not meeting his gaze. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Will murmured. “I wish it wasn’t.” Derek still felt like he was on the verge of breaking into pieces. Will fiddled with Derek’s fingertips before sliding their palms together again, like how they’d been on the swing. “Can’t we just watch the sunset?” he whispered.</p><p>Derek didn’t respond because he knew if he did he might burst into tears.</p><p>He’d never had a Match like this. There were some good ones that were harder to end than others, maybe a few people he thought about every now and again from when they had been paired, but this was going to <em>hurt</em>. He sighed, nodding, and Will finally looked up. With their hand that wasn’t laced he cupped Derek’s cheek and pulled him forward for a soft kiss.</p><p>Derek pulled back first, his chest feeling waterlogged, and moved to sit them back down on the swing. Once they were seated Derek lowered his forehead to Will’s shoulder and let out a soft breath. </p><p>He cared so deeply for Will; it felt insurmountable. The System would always pull them apart—that was what it was designed to do—and Will didn’t seem to want to challenge it. Honestly, Derek knew he was more in this than Will was. He always had been, he always would be.</p><p>Will would probably move onto his next Match—a month long, maybe two—and these few days they spent actually being <em>together </em>would slip behind the radar. Will would move on; Derek wouldn’t. How could he let Will go now that he knew what being with him felt like? </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>19:22:13</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“You ever going to come to bed?” Will asked. “Or are you sleeping out here tonight?”</p><p>Will had puttered around their room long enough but it became very apparent that Derek was not in any rush to join him. It was their last night together and everything had been twinged with bouts of melancholy. Their last dinner together, finishing their final puzzle. Even the good moment with smiles made Will feel blue.</p><p>But it was even later now, and Derek still sat in the living room.</p><p>Derek peered at him sadly over the mug in his hands, his eyes wide and wet once they met Will’s. “Sorry,” he rasped, and Will’s heart broke at once. Will hurried out to join him on the couch, ignoring the ache that was creeping into his own chest at the thought of leaving Derek. “I’m just… not ready…” he whispered. </p><p>He took the mug from Derek’s hands and set it on the table before gathering Derek close. </p><p>Derek’s sigh could’ve crumbled the walls around them. Will’s ache was so deep he felt as though he might be sick. He already missed Derek so terribly. </p><p>“We could watch a movie,” Will offered, still drawing Derek closer. They shifted on the couch completely, Will beneath him while Derek covered every inch of him, burying his face in Will’s neck. “We don’t need to sleep.” Their legs became tangled, slotted together, and Will wound his arms around Derek before smoothing soothing strokes down his spine. Derek sighed again, melting into him. </p><p>“You’re so comfy,” Derek murmured. His voice was breathy, soft in Will’s ear, sending the hair on the back of his neck straight up. Derek had one of his hands buried in Will’s hair, the other tucked under and behind Will’s shoulder to help keep himself propped up in the pillows. “Tell me you’ll miss me,” he whispered. </p><p>“I will miss you,” he answered at once. Derek sighed another time, all of his exhales longer, carrying the weight of sadness with them. He wanted to say something hopeful but Will was struggling to find something that didn’t feel forced, and even telling Derek that he would miss him felt like too much. “Movie?” he offered again. Their old peace offering, a comfort that Will wished could fill the hole in his chest.</p><p>“Could we just lie here?” Derek asked. </p><p>Will stretched up and pressed a kiss to the top of Derek’s head. “Yeah.” </p><p>Together they laid in silence, breathing slowly and deeply, and finally, Will let himself ache. </p><p>He was going to miss Derek more than he could even imagine, he already knew it. None of his other Matches had made him feel even <em>remotely </em>like this. Will fought off tears and Derek nuzzled a little closer. </p><p>This time tomorrow he’d be gone.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>12:41</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>It was so easy to step into something new and wonderful with Will that for a long time, there had been so many moments that Derek had forgotten it was still going to end. </p><p>All of it felt so natural. Five Matches and six weeks later and Derek had never felt like this before in his life. Ending some other Matches had been hard but as the reality of what was really happening now set in his stomach was starting to ache.</p><p>He had to say goodbye to Will again. And now, after <em>everything</em>, it felt more impossible than ever. </p><p>Beside him, Will seemed less weighed down. Derek didn’t want to read into what that could mean. </p><p>“You think we’ll Match again?” Derek asked quietly.</p><p>There was no hesitation in Will’s answer. “Of course.” </p><p>Derek couldn’t help but brighten at his affirmation. He reached out for Will’s hand, buoyed by his optimism. It was refreshing—Derek had no idea where it was coming from. “Soon?”</p><p>Will exhaled a soft laugh, his eyes still hopeful. “It’s always soon with you.” Ah—that was right. Sometimes Derek could forget that Will’s experience in the System was vastly different than his own. For Will, Derek came through as often as a new moon. For Derek, it always felt longer because there were more Matches to get through. Still, Derek’s smile bloomed immediately and he tugged Will toward him for a kiss. “I give it a month,” Will murmured against his mouth. “Tops.” </p><p>Derek kissed him again, dizzy from the warmth that had overtaken him at Will’s words. Even though time was rapidly running out, this moment was precious. Maybe this had been part of the reason why he didn’t want to talk about their Match ending—because Will was so sure that it wouldn’t be long until they saw each other again.</p><p>Thinking of it in that light made Derek’s heart sing.</p><p>“Yeah,” Derek agreed with a little laugh. “You’re right.” He could go a couple of weeks without Will again. He’d done it before. There wasn’t any reason for the System to change things up on them now and, now that he was thinking about it, maybe that was why Will had never been so keen to talk about this <em>ending</em>. Because he didn’t really see it that way—as the end. “You really gonna miss me?” Derek whispered. </p><p>Will rolled his eyes but smiled, too, and that was enough of an answer for Derek. He drew Will toward him for another kiss, savoring the feel of his lips against his own for as long as he could. </p><p>“I had a great time,” Derek carried on against Will’s mouth. “These weeks. With you.” </p><p>“Me too,” Will whispered. </p><p>Derek drew him in again, all of it overwhelming. He couldn’t believe he’d actually gotten to spend time with Will like this—that they’d been able to overcome the mess that this had started as for something wonderful. That Will wanted it too! </p><p>In front of them their Carts rolled to a stop but Derek couldn’t pull himself away from Will. This time last Match he’d been regretting so many things left unsaid and now he knew what Will tasted like and he was never going to forget. Derek closed his eyes and wished that this moment would stretch on a little longer, maybe into forever.</p><p>Will had other plans. He was always better at accepting endings than Derek was.</p><p>“Hey,” Will murmured as he drew back, voice dropping low. Derek’s eyes snapped open at the sound of it and Will grabbed his hand tightly before squeezing his fingertips. “Don’t do anything stupid, okay?” </p><p>Derek exhaled a soft laugh, but still felt a little frozen. The concerned look on Will’s face drastically contradicted the kiss they’d just shared. “What do you mean?” </p><p>“Like wait for me.” At once, Derek’s stomach dropped. He took a step backward but held onto Will’s hand. Derek thought Will had just said they’d see each other soon? “It’s the System, you know? There’s an Ultimate out there. Anything could happen.” </p><p>“I never said—” </p><p>“No, I know,” Will murmured.</p><p>Derek knew how the System worked. His next Match, though unlikely, could be a couple of months long with a person that Derek really hit it off with. Maybe he would fall for them, maybe he could love them. But whoever was next—whatever was next—it was just going to keep coming until the Ultimate Match ended whatever this was. Same for Will. The System didn’t stop just because Derek was desperate for it to. </p><p>But still Will had heard him when he whispered soft pleas for this to last longer, for the two of them to stay together. He knew what that meant. He’d learned how Derek loved. </p><p>“Well you know what Coach says,” Derek muttered, suddenly feeling disheartened.</p><p>It wasn’t that Derek had actually been planning to <em>wait </em>for Will, but this was different. Will was telling him to move on. </p><p>“<em>Match Expired</em>.” </p><p>Will and Derek both startled at Coach’s sudden intrusion, enough that they dropped one another’s hands. The Carts had been waiting for them and they’d both stopped paying attention to the Expiry running down time.</p><p>“<em>Report to Cart immediately for Return.”</em></p><p>“What does Coach always say?” Will asked as Derek took a small step backwards. </p><p>He popped his shoulders into a shrug. “Everything happens for a reason.”</p><p>Will was shaking his head before Derek could even finish the statement. “I’ll see you soon,” he said softly. </p><p>Derek hoped he was right.</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>MATCH COUNT</strong>
</p><p>Will: 24 | Derek: 37</p><p> </p><p>Derek spotted him first.</p><p>He sat up for a moment and stared, almost too afraid to hope that it could really be him again. </p><p>Some of Will’s final words from their last Match echoed in Derek’s head: <em>I give it a month—tops. </em>But it had been two, verging on three, and he’d started wondering if maybe he’d actually died and this was just his very own version of hell; caring for someone so deeply and always being torn from them before it could blossom into love. </p><p>Was he dreaming? Hallucinating, was more likely.</p><p>Over the last few months he hadn’t even seen Will in passing. Normally they’d brush past one another in the Hub or Derek could get a glimpse of Will’s vivid red hair from a distance—but this time had brought nothing. </p><p>No sightings, no glimpses, nothing. </p><p>But, no—that <em>was </em>Will.</p><p>He was here now, in this restaurant, the same one as Derek, seemingly having entered without a Match by his side. He had Coach in his hand and lifted like he was talking to it, being guided to a new Match.</p><p>Could it even be possible? Derek had tried staying hopeful as best he could but as Will grew closer he was too afraid to let it spark again.</p><p>Suddenly, Will looked up and stopped mid-whatever he was saying and froze, locking eyes with Derek. Derek’s smile bloomed unwillingly but he would never mind a smile brought to him by Will. He watched as Will lowered Coach to his side and wound his way through the restaurant, ignoring directions from the device and heading right for Derek’s table. </p><p>“Derek,” Will called once he was close enough.</p><p>His Coach, waiting on the table, only needed voice confirmation.</p><p>“<em>Match confirmed</em>.”</p><p>Derek’s smile grew. He sat up taller as Will drew near, an unfamiliar twinge of anxiety twisting in his stomach. </p><p>Will dropped his Coach on the table the moment he arrived, sliding into the booth and grabbing Derek’s hands all in the same smooth motion. Derek couldn’t look away. They twisted their fingers together and beneath the table Will knocked Derek’s foot with his own. </p><p>“You in there?” Will asked with a small smile himself. </p><p>Derek swallowed. He felt breathless. “Hi.” </p><p>“Hi,” Will laughed. </p><p>“A month, tops?” Derek asked quietly.</p><p>Will squeezed his hands. “It’s really good to see you.” Derek nodded, feeling the same. “You look…” he trailed off with another smile and Derek licked his lips, that twinge of anxiety from moments ago already replaced with the hot burning of want. </p><p>“You think we can get dinner to go?” Derek asked. </p><p>Derek had thought he’d missed Will’s laughter, but hearing it now given so freely, so often—Derek had gone numb from missing Will. Now that he was here again Derek felt he could be hysterical from it. </p><p>“Probably,” Will answered, glancing toward the menu. </p><p>Derek couldn’t stop looking at him. “How many Matches have you had?” he asked quietly. </p><p>Will’s face grew sad. “A lot, actually. You?” </p><p>“Less than usual.” </p><p>“Longer? Shorter?” </p><p>“Mixed,” Derek admitted. A few longer ones, like the System was trying to wain Derek off of Will with something new, but no one stuck. He was still gazing at Will like he was dreaming—like he would wake up from this moment any second. “It’s really you.”</p><p>Will squeezed his hands again. “Should we check the Expiry?” he asked, and though Derek dreaded it like always he nodded. Will let go of one of his hands so he could grab his device, and Derek reached for his own with his freehand as well. Probably best to get it over with. “Ready?” Will asked. </p><p><em>Never</em>, Derek thought, but still he nodded again. Together they tapped their Coach devices and watched the numbers spin, round and around until they landed with such force it shattered Derek’s heart.</p><p>“No,” he rasped. “But—“ </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>36 hours</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Will looked just as broken as Derek felt. He looked down at his device with furrowed eyebrows, his lips parted in shock. </p><p>“This can’t be right,” Will murmured, staring at the timer that was already counting down. “This—has to be a mistake,” he insisted, looking back up to Derek. “That’s not enough time.” </p><p>“I thought…” Derek started, but he couldn’t even finish his sentence. </p><p>He didn’t know what he thought. The System had always given them at least a week. Maybe he’d assumed this time would be three—or maybe they’d get another two week Match—but never had he even toyed with the idea it could be shortened drastically. </p><p>Barely even a day. </p><p>Silence overwhelmed their table. He looked up, meeting Will’s gaze again, and found that sad look still in his eyes. Neither of them had anything to say. </p><p>Derek slipped his device back into his pocket and Will did the same, neither of them wanting to look at the Expiry already counting down what little time they had left.</p><p>Will’s voice was strong as he said, “Let’s get out of here.” Derek shifted where his hands were, reaching across to grab both of Will’s again, nodding with a pinched smile. “We don’t have to stay, right?”</p><p>“No,” Derek confirmed. </p><p>Will nodded, sure. They released one another’s hands and Will reached over to grab the glass of wine that Derek had been nursing, knocking it back to finish the remainder without asking, before the two of them slid out of the booth. Derek offered Will his hand and together they left Waldo’s without looking back.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>Thirty six hours. </p><p>Their Cart slowly crept forward to their new Pod in silence. Will and Derek sat side by side on the bench holding hands and Will tried his hardest to stay present, but with the quiet his thoughts were loud. </p><p>
  <em>Thirty six hours. </em>
</p><p>Will had eight Matches in-between this and none of them had been this short. Hell—none of his Matches had <em>ever </em>been this short. If he lingered in the thought of it his eyes would well with tears, and in the silence as they rolled along it was easy to get caught up in it. </p><p>Will focused his attention on Derek’s hand, where he was slowly rubbing his thumb along Will’s. </p><p>Derek was being quiet, too. Where normally he’d be rambling to fill the space between them, the silence hung heavy over both of them. If it weren’t for his soft touch, Will would be a little more worried. </p><p>“Derek?” Will eventually prompted. The other man looked over at him, eyebrows high. “What’re you thinking?” </p><p>“Nothing,” he answered quietly. Derek looked out across the fields and other Pods that they chugged past, shaking his head a little. Will squeezed his hand and Derek looked back to him, his eyes straight to where their hands were laced. “At the end of last Match,” he murmured quietly. “You said not to wait.” </p><p>Will blinked a few times, surprised. “Yeah?” Derek shook his head a little, looking down again at their hands. “You could’ve met anyone,” Will told him quietly. “Of course I told you not to wait.”</p><p>Derek shook his head, looking up again. “What?”</p><p>Will’s heart felt a little fractured. </p><p>“Come on, Derek. You’re—” <em>incredible. </em>Derek was absolutely incredible in all ways. Being away from him had only made Will more aware of how wonderful Derek had been. “And I’m…” he hadn’t even said anything but he hoped that Derek had felt the weight of it anyway. Will sighed, shaking his head. “I only meant it as—there could’ve been someone else for you. Someone better.” </p><p>Derek’s eyes were wide. “I thought you were telling me to move on,” he said. </p><p>“Well, you could’ve.” </p><p>What he and Derek had felt rare and unique. He didn’t want Derek to wait around for them to Match again before opening his heart to another Match. Not that Will had really expected him <em>not </em>to, but he wanted to be clear that it wasn’t an expectation that Derek wait. </p><p>The System was fucked. As much as Will ended the last Match positive that he and Derek would Match again, he wasn’t actually sure how long it would be until that happened. And that wasn’t the point of it—to wish for one Match again and again and again. He knew that Derek could be dreamy, Will didn’t want him regretting anything. </p><p>“But—no,” Derek explained desperately. “I thought you were <em>telling </em>me to.” </p><p>Will’s face shifted then as he finally understood. “Oh my God—” he hurried to draw Derek toward him. “No! That wasn’t—that was not at all what I intended. Fuck.” </p><p>He closed his eyes a little and shook his head but Will wouldn’t look away. “I thought it was you saying—like… look, this was fun, and maybe we’ll Match again, but…”</p><p>“No,” Will rushed. “<em>No</em>.”</p><p>Derek sagged with relief. “I didn’t know, I mean—”</p><p>“Did you spend all this time thinking I was finished with you?” Will asked, incredulous. “Jesus, Derek, I never meant—” Will’s next words were cut off by the force of Derek’s mouth against his own but his own body grew heavy with sadness. </p><p>“You just seemed so sure,” Derek insisted quietly. “You were so calm, and—”</p><p>“No,” Will interrupted. <em>No</em>, he was not. The end of their last Match had been so incredibly painful that even thinking about it now made Will ache. “I wasn’t,” he insisted. His hands cradled Derek’s cheeks so he could keep him close but still speak. “I was scared,” he told him quietly, eyes welling with tears. “I didn’t know…” he trailed off, shaking his head a little, and Derek pulled back farther so he could better look at Will. “I didn’t know either,” he rasped.</p><p>Derek shook his head, too. “Why didn’t you just say so?” he rasped. Finally meeting Derek’s eyes Will found that his were full of tears too. Slowly, Will released his hold on him. “That’s what I wanted to hear, Will. That’s all I needed.” </p><p>Will’s eyebrows furrowed and he looked away, everything feeling more painful than he’d realized it would. “Because it—sucks, Derek!”</p><p>“Of course it does!” he agreed loudly, reaching out for Will’s hands now that they were settled in his lap again. “Sometimes all anyone wants to hear is that it sucks. I fucking <em>hate </em>pretending like I’m okay when I’m not.” Will blinked and a tear fell before he could stop it, but Derek reached up quickly to cradle his cheek, wiping it away with his thumb. “You don’t have to either,” he whispered.</p><p>Will squeezed his eyes shut and another tear fell. “I’m sorry,” he choked. “I’m not—good at this, I never have been.” </p><p>Derek drew him in for another chaste kiss. “Just <em>talk </em>to me,” he pleaded. “I can’t read your mind, Will.” He lowered his hand then and pulled back again giving Will space as he whispered, “I missed you.” </p><p>Will missed Derek so much it felt like it was against the rules. His dismissal at the end of the previous Match had been the only way he knew how to protect his heart, he’d been stupid to not realized that Derek would carry the weight of it too. </p><p>“I missed you so much,” Will exhaled, ragged. </p><p>Derek kissed him again and Will sighed into it, desperately hoping that the ache in the pit of his stomach wouldn’t follow him around this entire Match. </p><p>It was as though no time had passed at all. Will knew Derek’s mouth, the taste of his lips, the feel of his hands. They wound themselves in one another and he felt delirious with desire, the heat of it expanding so quickly in his chest that it could push out any anger or fear or worry that came with their shortened Expiry. </p><p>When their Cart halted to a stop they nearly fell off the bench, Derek laughing brilliantly as Will helped him stand. Even moving from their Cart to go inside felt like a waste of time. Still they managed, lacing their hands together and hurrying into the Pod together. </p><p>The lights slowly turned on as they entered as always and Will noticed that the set-up had shifted again—their living room to the left instead of the right, their bedroom tucked down a hidden hallway. Will didn’t want to explore.</p><p>They kicked off their shoes by the door and Derek entered first but Will grabbed his hand quickly before he got too far.</p><p>“Let’s just…” he guided him toward the living room, the pressure on his chest lightening at the small smile that found Derek’s face. Will smiled too, emboldened by Derek’s, and tugged until he could push Derek to sit on the couch. </p><p>Derek sank backwards, his smile growing, and Will didn’t hesitate to climb onto his lap. He straddled Derek’s hips and leaned in for another kiss, groaning when he felt Derek’s hands lift to settle on Will’s waist. Even though it had been months since they’d really gotten to do this it felt as familiar as it always had. Derek kissed exactly the same, like it was the last time they were going to get to do it, so they might as well make it count.</p><p>Derek shifted them on the couch until Will was below him. “We still have full consent?” Derek wondered.</p><p>Will nodded to confirm and so did he before Derek leaned down to pull off his shirt. They scrambled to rid themselves of their clothes, jeans shoved carelessly down their legs one at a time, unsure if they wanted to focus more on touching one another or getting naked. Ultimately it came down to Will on his knees with Derek on the edge of the couch, one hand gripping Will’s shoulder and the other twisted in his hair while he sucked Derek’s dick. He even tasted the same, the weight of him familiar on Will’s tongue.</p><p>When he came, Will wasn’t far behind him, senses stimulated all the more so because it was Derek’s hands who were on him again, just as desperate as they’d always been. They hadn’t even made it to the bedroom. In fact, now both of them were on the floor, Derek having dropped down to it after getting off so he could get Will off too. </p><p>“Should we shower?” Derek asked after a beat.</p><p>Will turned to him and broke with laughter, scrambling to bring Derek closer so he could kiss him again. He responded in kind, laughing as he pushed himself up to kiss Will with a smile that was so wonderfully sweet Will couldn’t believe that any time had even passed at all. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>After a quick shower that was mostly spent kissing under the stream, they returned to the kitchen to make something to eat. They’d skipped dinner after all, and puttering around the kitchen with Will was like cooling balm on an aching wound for Derek. Any time at all was so wonderful, and time spent doing simple things was perfectly enjoyed. </p><p>While Will started a pot of water for pasta Derek settled down at the kitchen table. </p><p>“I think I might be cursed,” Derek said into the silence.</p><p>Will’s response was immediate though he didn’t look in Derek’s direction. “You’re not.”</p><p>“I might be.”</p><p>Will shook his head, rolling his eyes. “How would you get cursed?”</p><p>“I don’t know. Stole a witch’s baby, or something.” </p><p>Will snorted, still shaking his head and now turning to face Derek straight on, his hip against the counter and his arms folded over his chest. “No offense Derek but you don’t really strike me as the kidnapper type.”</p><p>“Old curse then,” he carried on, hating the subject matter but still feeling oddly comforted. “Generational.” </p><p>“Your moms found each other,” Will reminded him.</p><p>Derek sighed. “Maybe I did something awful in a past life?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>He turned his head to look toward Will. “It feels like it’s always like this for me,” he murmured. He wanted to talk about it, even if Will didn’t. “Short.”</p><p>36 hours wasn’t enough. He was incredibly grateful to see Will again, to have any time with him at all, but it felt like someone was playing a cruel trick on him. He didn’t want to be a plaything in anyone’s games—he didn’t want the System making decisions for him anymore. He wanted to be with Will. </p><p>“Last Match,” Will started quietly. “You said something about…” he trailed off, looking away. “You said why not want this anyway. Because—we don’t know if the System cares what we want or not.”</p><p>Derek nodded. “I remember.”</p><p>“This is why,” Will answered, voice rough. “Because… wanting it makes it so much worse when it’s short like this.”</p><p>“No,” Derek hurried. He wanted to be closer to Will so he pushed himself to stand, crossing the kitchen to him and reaching out until they were holding hands again. “Don’t say that.”</p><p>“I’m serious,” Will murmured. His eyebrows drew together in frustration.</p><p>“I feel like this is a good thing,” Derek urged. He’d been serious when lamenting about the length of his Matches—Derek had always had so many short ones. But Matching with Will was different—he’d take it and embrace it no matter the length. “Us Matching again. We’re here together. It could’ve not Matched us at all.” </p><p>Will shook his head, looking almost disgusted—as though someone had spread hot tar across his chest. “You used to not trust the System,” he murmured.</p><p>“I don’t,” Derek told him. And it was true. “But…” he sighed. “Sometimes this feels bigger than that.” </p><p>Will huffed, meeting his gaze. “Come on, Derek.” He gestured between them. “This?”</p><p>“I’m serious.” Derek squeezed his hands and pulled him a step closer. “Don’t you feel it?” In the silence that followed, Derek’s heart grew heavy. After their Cart ride and the last couple of hours that just passed as though only moments had gone, he was sure that he and Will had been on the same page. “Tell me if you don’t, Will.” </p><p>Will exhaled deeply, closing his eyes to whisper, “I do. But—”</p><p>“No,” Derek shushed him. He kissed Will quickly. “No but.”</p><p>Whether or not it made sense to want it—whether or not the System cared—it didn’t matter. This was special. What he and Will had was too important.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>After eating a quick meal of really just carbs they headed off for bed. After having eaten Will felt a little less like the System was out to get him, a little more amenable to the idea that he and Derek Matching again was a good thing, no matter the length of it. </p><p>“Thirty six hours,” Will said quietly once they were wrapped together under the sheets. He shook his head, already knowing the number was smaller now that they’d had a few hours together. “I’ve never had one this short.”</p><p>Derek exhaled a long breath. “Lucky.” </p><p>Will tipped his head to look at him, smiling sadly. He knew Derek wasn’t making it out to be a competition. All of this sucked. “How many?” Will asked. “This short, I mean.” </p><p>Derek shook his head like he was thinking. “At least a dozen, I’m sure.”</p><p>“All of them strangers? No repeats?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Derek confirmed. “No repeats—until now.” </p><p>Will reached out carefully, his fingertips soft against Derek’s cheek. “Are they all bad?” he wondered. </p><p>Derek shook his head, leaning into Will’s hand. “None of them, really. Sometimes I don’t even mind it. But they’re certainly not… you.” Will smiled and Derek shifted so he could cover Will’s hand with his own. Will leaned in and kissed him gently. “This is so much better,” he murmured. </p><p>Will kissed him again and climbed across him, pressing Derek down onto their bed as he straddled his waist. </p><p>He had a million things to say but his mouth was failing him. All he wanted to do was kiss Derek and savor the feel of his lips against his own while he still could. Will had been Matched with Derek nearly every other for a while—to go <em>months </em>without even a glimpse of him had driven Will a little mad.</p><p>“I missed you,” Will rasped between their hurried kisses. “I don’t want this to end so fast.”</p><p>Derek sighed, nodding in agreement. “Me neither. But at least we get it at all.” He rubbed his hands slowly up Will’s back and turned, shifting them both so Will could fall back into the open spot beside him. Derek moved onto his side so they were facing one another, making sure to keep Will close. “I missed you too,” he murmured.</p><p>Will squeezed his eyes shut. He’d never had a Match this short. The fact that it was with Derek felt cruel in so many ways. </p><p>“How do you get through them?” Will asked. “When they’re this short.” </p><p>“Keep it light,” Derek told him. “Stargaze… smoke weed.” Will exhaled a little laugh, finally opening his eyes again. To see that Derek’s eyes still held warmth—that he didn’t seem hopeless underneath it all—it made it a little easier to breathe. “We should smoke weed, actually,” Derek said, his smile widening. “It’ll make this a little easier.”</p><p>“I’m in,” Will agreed tiredly. He already knew sleep would not come easy. “Just a little.”</p><p>“Just a little,” Derek agreed. “We don’t need a repeat of last time.”</p><p>“Shh.” Will pressed forward for a kiss. “We don’t speak of that.”</p><p>Derek kissed him again, his smile widening. “Oh, right, right.” </p><p>“That’s it?” Will asked. “You just. Smoke weed and look at the stars.”</p><p>“Watch movies. Play paintball.” Derek shrugged his shoulders a little. “Have sex.”</p><p>Will’s eyes widened a little bit. “What?”</p><p>Derek’s smile grew. “Only sometimes.”</p><p>In an instant, Will was on top of him again. “You said you didn’t—”</p><p>“Well not with <em>everyone,” </em>Derek answered, laughing. “You told me not to wait! I think if I Match with someone I connect with and they’re into it then it’s alright for me to sleep with them, is all.” </p><p>“I—” Will drew back, choking on his words. That wasn’t what he’d meant. Derek’s laughter faded at once. “Of course it’s alright, Derek,” he murmured. “I never said—”</p><p>“No, no, no,” Derek rushed. They both moved to sit up. “That wasn’t what I meant.”</p><p>“Well me neither, but what did you mean?”</p><p>“We never really talked about… other Matches. Long term.” </p><p>They both fell silent. Will hated that they had to use even a second of their time together talking about something like this. </p><p>“Look,” Will started slowly. “If you Match with someone that you connect with, Derek—I mean, we’re both in this System I know what it’s like. That’s not—an issue for me, or I’d never ask you to…” he sighed and Derek gathered him close. “That’s why I said what I said. About waiting. Because I don’t know—I was maybe worried you wouldn’t open yourself up to someone new, and—”</p><p>Derek kissed him firmly. “<em>You’re </em>worried about <em>me</em> opening up to new people?”</p><p>Will drew him in again. “Shush.”</p><p>Derek kept kissing him. “You could, too,” he insisted between their lips. “You always can. After this. Ultimate’s gonna come eventually.” Will pressed his mouth to Derek’s to get him to stop talking. He didn’t want to think about <em>after this</em> until he absolutely had to—an Ultimate Match felt like an impossibility, especially when Derek was already right here. “What did <em>you</em> mean?” Derek pushed. </p><p>“I was thinking about—” Will rolled his eyes, blushing a little. “You mentioned it before. On a previous Match.”</p><p>“Ohhh, when you asked if I have sex with all my repeat Matches!” Derek lit up at the memory and Will only groaned. “God, you’re such a horndog.”</p><p>“I can’t believe you said horndog while in this bed with me,” Will muttered, but Derek was laughing again so it really didn’t matter. “Where can we get the weed? We should do that.”</p><p>“Yes, The Weed, so formal!” </p><p>Will pushed his shoulders a little and Derek bent in for one final kiss before climbing out of bed to go retrieve it from wherever it must’ve been tucked. </p><p>He reached for Coach the moment Derek was gone. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>1:09:04:21</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>In some ways, it was easier to see it written out as having a full day together still. And Derek was right, at least they had it at all. Will couldn’t imagine what another Match without Derek would’ve felt like—not knowing if he was still in the System, if he still felt the same. </p><p>He put the disc away before Derek returned a few minutes later, a joint in hand and a smile on his face. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>Morning came much too soon. </p><p>Even Will, always awake before the sun, was clearly in no rush to get out of bed. Derek woke and knew that he was already awake because his breathing was different, but neither of them spoke for a little bit. Eventually it was Derek who broke the silence.</p><p>“Let’s go on a walk,” Derek murmured. Will drew further into him with a soft sigh. “It’ll be nice,” he promised, sliding his hand up Will’s back. “Sun on our faces’ll feel good. And we still have tonight. Can come back… make dinner… lay around.”</p><p>Will sighed again, nodding a little bit. </p><p>“Good,” Derek said. “I can make the coffee but I promise you won’t like it as much.” </p><p>Will snorted, drawing back enough that he could look Derek in the eye. “It’s coffee, Derek. I’m not a snob.”</p><p>“I don’t know, I feel like you’re very particular about your coffee, no?”</p><p>“Not really.”</p><p>“You wake up and make it every morning,” Derek pointed out. “I figured that was because it needed to be made a certain way.”</p><p>“Well—I mean, you just measure the grinds and put it in the pot. Do you not measure?”</p><p>“Nah, just scoop some up. Eyeball it.”</p><p>“Okay—yeah, I’ll make the coffee.”</p><p>Derek chuckled and they slowly climbed out of bed together. He followed Will out to the kitchen and hopped up on the counter to watch Will prepare the coffee—everything from grinding the beans to actually measuring out how much coffee to pour into the mechanism. </p><p>Even though it was quiet as he worked, Derek found the silence comforting. He knew both of them held sadness inside of their chests that was louder than anything else despite the fact that he was trying to stay hopeful. </p><p>Once the coffee was brewing Will walked toward Derek, settling in between his open legs. Derek smiled and wrapped his calves around Will’s waist to drag him closer before leaning in for a kiss.</p><p>“Thanks,” Derek murmured against his lips. </p><p>Will smiled then, despite the dip between his eyebrows to indicate his underlying ache. “Always,” Will murmured back.</p><p>Derek kissed him again, and they easily distracted themselves while the coffee brewed. Kissing Will was addictive. Just one and Derek wanted to melt. He slid his hands into Will’s hair and shifted his hips forward and Will groaned quietly against Derek’s mouth. They stayed tangled together until the machine beeped to indicate it was ready. Only then did Will pull back, eyelids heavy, cheeks flushed, far enough to press a kiss to Derek’s forehead. </p><p>He moved away to prepare their drinks for them and Derek eased off the counter to grab the creamer from the fridge, all of it terribly familiar.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>“Leave it,” Derek murmured. They were nearly out the door now and Will hesitated, the small white disc in his hand feeling heavier than usual.  “I’m leaving mine.” Will looked down at Coach with a small frown before looking up to Derek, who didn’t seem upset at his hesitation. Instead Derek shifted forward and kissed him quickly. “Up to you.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>22:11:18</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Will slid the device into his pocket. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>They settled down by the lake, near a grove of trees that kept them a little more hidden from other passerbys. Derek started digging around in the picnic basket right after they stretched out their blanket and pulled out an apple to eat while Will kicked off his shoes. </p><p>He had a desperate urge to reach into his pocket and check their remaining time again but he knew looking at the numbers would only make him feel more blue. Derek had suggested they leave their devices in the Pod but Will struggled to part with his. Part of being in the System meant always having Coach nearby, he couldn’t quite get used to being without it. </p><p>Derek had left his behind, though. </p><p>“You’re not supposed to, you know,” Will commented as they reflected on it.</p><p>Derek didn’t care. “Not like it’s going to go off in the middle of a Match,” he countered. “And the time is going to change whether we look at it or not. I’d rather just focus on being with you.”</p><p>They’d packed some champagne and another joint, spending their mid-morning wanting to dull the weight of their reality just for a little bit. Coping mechanisms or not, Will couldn’t get the Expiry out of his head. “I hate this.”</p><p>“It’s good weed.”</p><p>Will rolled his eyes passed the joint back, smiling again. “You know what I mean.”</p><p>“Yeah, but. C’mon, Will.” He turned back to Will, eyes sad but smiling, “It’s so good to see you. And the sun’s out.”</p><p>“The sun is always out.”</p><p>“And we are so lucky for it,” Derek continued on, still smiling. His eyes drifted toward Will’s mouth and then up again. “Could we cook together tonight?” he asked, taking a pull from the joint after. </p><p>“You mean, can I cook, and can you bother me?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Derek answered with a grin. “Exactly.” </p><p>Will could think of nothing he wanted more.</p><p>Time passed. They dozed off in patches of sunlight for a few minutes at a time here and there, propped at a comfortable angle on the hill that they still had a nice view.</p><p>“Did you ever go to summer camp?” Derek asked as they gazed out across the lake.</p><p>Will smiled. “Yeah. I was a boy scout. So I went a lot as a kid, and then when I was old enough I was a counselor.”</p><p>Derek lit up then, his smile growing. “Really?”</p><p>“Is that surprising to you?”</p><p>“Yeah. When I told you I work with kids you freaked out.” </p><p>Will chuckled and shook his head a little bit. “Camp is different than school.” Not that it really mattered. “Why?” Will wondered. </p><p>“Sometimes the System feels like summer camp,” Derek told him quietly. “Nothing to do, really. Long, lazy, sunny days.” </p><p>Will didn’t fully agree. </p><p>“Camp had more… people,” Will offered. “The System feels pretty binary.” Other than the occasional Farewell Party, seeing as not everyone chose to have one, and sometimes running into a previous Match in the Hub, it wasn’t like they had the chance to really be social outside of their singular Match. “Someone was in charge.”</p><p>Derek hummed in response.</p><p>But it was true—there was no one here other than Coach that could be a face of the System. No one to talk to when confused or concerned, no one to make decisions for you, look after you. It was all faceless. No dialogue could be had. </p><p>It was just the System doing whatever it wanted and Coach telling you to deal with it and maybe one day you’d be happy and that wasn’t life, that was miserable. Will was so tired of it. He couldn’t believe that Derek had spent the inbetween of their last Match thinking Will hadn’t been desperately longing for him like he really was. All of this was backwards and broken and horrible. </p><p>“What are you thinking about?” Derek wondered.</p><p>“Nothing,” Will answered. Derek frowned, poking Will’s chest with a little bit more force. “I… knew this would happen,” Will rasped. “That I would admit how I felt and the System would take you away and—“</p><p>“The System didn’t take me away,” Derek said firmly. He sat up then making Will sit up too, and even though his eyes were growing wet Derek wouldn’t let him look away. “I’m right here. It still Matched us.” </p><p>Will was trying so hard to fight it but he still felt so blue. “For 36 fucking hours,” he wallowed.</p><p>“After I gave consent our next Match was <em>two weeks</em>, okay?”</p><p>“But after giving us that—just to give us this—“</p><p>“I know,” Derek insisted. But then defeated too, “I don’t know.” </p><p>He really was trying to stay positive for Derek, because Derek was clearly trying to stay positive. He was right in so many ways. The sun was out. At least they got to see each other again, no matter how short. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Will murmured. “I’ll be better. I just…” </p><p>Derek shook his head lightly. “It’s okay.” He sighed deeply, looking up toward the sky—blue and bright and free of a single cloud. “Sometimes I feel like I’ve been here forever,” Derek told him. “Thinking about an Ultimate Match…” he trailed off. “I don’t know. In the beginning it felt so urgent. Now it feels like a dream.” </p><p>Will knew what he meant. He still didn’t know how it couldn’t be Derek.</p><p>“Justin and Adam did it,” Will offered quietly. </p><p>Derek nodded then, sure and firm. “You’re right. I know you’re right.” It was a good reminder for Will too. He knew people who were happy and in love and made it out of here. “Do you think it told them at the beginning of their Match?” Derek asked. “Or the end?”</p><p>Will’s eyebrows furrowed. “I always just—assumed the beginning, right?” He and Justin had talked about it but he apparently hadn’t been as specific as he should’ve been. “I thought that it would indicate as always. Instead of Coach saying <em>New Match </em>it would say <em>Ultimate Match</em>.”</p><p>“No…” Derek trailed off. “I don’t think so.”</p><p>Will couldn’t believe that he didn’t actually know. “Coach?” Will asked, reaching for the device and grateful he’d brought it. “What can you tell us about the Ultimate Match?” </p><p>“<em>The Ultimate Match is different for all persons in the System—the truest love that any individual can find. The Ultimate Match is determined through your time in the System in which all behaviors are observed. Once your Ultimate Match is found, you will be notified.”</em></p><p>“Yuck,” Derek muttered.</p><p>“No, shh. Coach,” Will prompted again. “When notified about the Ultimate Match—when does that happen?” </p><p>“<em>Once your Ultimate Match is determined, you will be notified</em>.”</p><p>“See,” Will looked up to Derek. “That makes me think it could happen whenever.” </p><p>“How about now?” Derek wondered. Will’s chest seized. He looked toward Coach with wide eyes, but the disc remained dark. </p><p>“What makes an Ultimate Match?” Will asked, more rhetorical than anything else. </p><p>Derek posed another. “Do you think the goal is to fall in love?”</p><p>“<em>The truest love</em>,” Will echoed. </p><p>Gazing into Derek’s eyes, Will didn’t know what more the System wanted. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>Derek’s aching heart had eased some throughout the day. He wondered if it was the fact that he’d had so many short Matches before that made it easier to accept this one, but he wasn’t as blue as Will was.</p><p>He wished he’d been able to say the right thing to shake him from it, but no matter what they did Derek could see it in his eyes. </p><p>They made pizza for dinner that night, Derek helping out with the dough and both of them topping their halves with whatever they liked best—Will’s with bits of bacon and pepperoni and bell peppers and Derek’s with ham and pineapple.</p><p>“Sickening,” Will said as he slid it into the oven. “I can’t believe you’re my favorite Match and you put pineapple on your pizza.”</p><p>Derek crowded him against the counter to kiss him senseless. “Say it again,” he murmured.</p><p>Will arched an amused eyebrow. “Sickening?”</p><p>“Favorite Match.” </p><p>Will kissed him in response, both of them grateful for the oven’s automatic off as they easily distracted themselves with one another. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>01:32:45</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Will set an alarm for their final morning, but he woke up before it went off anyway.</p><p>Truth be told, he wasn’t sure he actually slept. </p><p>Beside him, Derek wasn’t sleeping either. Even though his eyes were closed, Will could tell that Derek was awake due to his shallow breathing. The sun hadn’t risen yet and in the shadows of their Pod it felt impossible that this day would be allowed to continue on, sun rising over the Wall, the System pulling him and Derek apart again. </p><p>Will sighed. </p><p>At the sound of it, Derek opened his eyes. He offered Will a small, sad smile, and Will couldn’t even fake one in response. </p><p>“Hi,” Derek rasped sleepily. </p><p>Will sighed again. “Hi,” he answered quietly. </p><p>Derek wiggled a little closer, slowly sliding his hand around Will’s hip. “Wanna hop in the shower?” he asked. </p><p>Finally, Will smiled. Despite everything it pushed its way onto his face, Derek always able to pull one out of him when Will didn’t think there was time for one. </p><p>“Yeah,” Will answered. </p><p>Derek’s smile grew. “Together?” </p><p>“I knew what was implied,” Will murmured with a chuckle. </p><p>Derek shimmied up the bed a little bit so he could stretch forward and steal a morning kiss. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>Derek could waste hours in the shower. (They didn’t have the time.)</p><p>Part of him was worried he and Will would get so distracted that their Match would end and Coach would shout at them with Will still on his knees. Between the hot sudsy water and the press of Will’s naked body against his own, Derek wouldn’t mind if this was the very spot the System came crashing down. </p><p>He and Will kissed beneath the stream and laughed into one another’s mouth when Derek nearly slipped, Will’s hands darting out to keep him steady before he totally plummeted to the ground. He could always count on Will to keep him from falling—he didn’t even have to think about it.</p><p>“Careful,” Will reprimanded warmly. </p><p>Derek kissed his way down Will’s pale throat, nipping at his skin. He left marks because he wanted to—because maybe they would still be there once the Match had ended and whoever Will was Matched with next would see them and know that someone else had been there first—because as he would suck Will would gasp his name and dig his hands into Derek’s back and draw him closer still. </p><p>Even steps out of the shower Derek wouldn’t let him get far. After they toweled dry Derek looped his around Will, tugging him closer by the waist until they were kissing again. He knew Will was itching to check the Expiry but in the end it didn’t matter. It was ticking down, faster and faster, and all they had was right now. </p><p>If they hadn’t started the coffee before getting in the shower, they barely would’ve had time to drink it after getting out. Will fixed their mugs while Derek finished getting dressed and then together they moved to sit on the porch, knowing the only thing they had time for was finishing their drinks together. </p><p>“We could stay,” Derek murmured as they watched the Carts roll in. </p><p>Will’s eyes snapped over to his, but they were sad. “We can’t,” he rasped. </p><p>Derek knew he was right.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>05:26</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Will stared as their separate Carts arrived with an ache in his stomach. It felt like he’d swallowed rocks and gone swimming, still trying to keep himself above the water despite everything inside of him desperate to surrender to the pain. </p><p>“This isn’t goodbye,” Derek said while squeezing Will’s hands tightly. “Okay?” </p><p>Will dragged his gaze back to Derek and nodded, his eyebrows furrowing together as he let himself be pulled the few steps closer. “Yes it is,” he whispered weakly. </p><p>“Only goodbye for now,” Derek carried on desperate. “Not goodbye forever.” <em>Just for now</em>, Will made himself think, nodding just a little as Derek wound his arms around him. “I’ll see you soon,” he promised, his voice wavering. </p><p>Will’s heart shattered. He’d been making Derek carry the weight of all of this alone just because it was Will’s first short Match—Will <em>knew </em>Derek was just as upset as he was. </p><p>Will squeezed Derek’s hands back. “How long could it take?” he mustered up. </p><p>Derek’s responding smile was so bright that Will knew he would carry the light of it all the way until their next Match. “Yeah,” Derek agreed, warm. “Time is extra not real here, it seems, so maybe like… tomorrow, we’ll…” he trailed off as Will exhaled a short laugh. Derek drew him in for a quick kiss. “I know not tomorrow,” he whispered. “But. Soon. Okay?”</p><p>Derek was right. Will knew, deep in the pit of his stomach, that Derek was right. He had to still want it—still hope for it. If he gave up completely then the System would know, and Will would never give up on Derek.</p><p>He would keep hoping, no matter how much it hurt, and one day they would see each other again.</p><p>“Before we even know it,” Will agreed softly. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>MATCH COUNT</strong>
</p><p>Will: 31 | Derek: 42</p><p> </p><p>Even though it had been months since Will had last seen Derek, there was a small voice in the back of his head at the start of every Match that reminded him to stay hopeful. It grew smaller and smaller every Match that wasn’t Derek, but it was still there. Nearly a whisper now. <em>Could it be him? </em></p><p>Often, Will would shove the thought to the back of his mind the second it found him. </p><p>He’d spent the first few Matches after his last one with Derek staying hopeful, staying strong. But as Match after Match ticked by, all varying lengths, sometimes a repeat from his earlier days and sometimes someone new, Will’s hope grew small. He decided to tuck it away, keep it somewhere safer where the System wouldn’t catch a whiff and know how desperate he really was to see Derek again. </p><p>But he <em>was</em> desperate. </p><p>It was the beginning of another Match for Will and he was shoving that small voice in the back of his head down again.</p><p>It had been months since he’d seen Derek, that wouldn’t change today. </p><p>(<em>But could it?</em>) </p><p>No. It wouldn’t. Will refused to let himself get hopeful in the moment because it always hurt so much more when he was. Another Match would be fine—it was when he started really wishing it was Derek instead did it become painful. He would see Derek again, but it wouldn’t be today.</p><p>“Where am I going this time?” Will asked his device. </p><p>“<em>Please follow signage to Waldo’s</em>.” </p><p>Will hadn’t been to Waldo’s in weeks but he knew what floor it was on, and as he punched the button on the empty elevator and the doors whisked shut to carry him away, he closed his eyes tight. It was getting harder to remember Derek’s faith—getting harder to remember why he was still hoping at all.</p><p>If the System didn’t want them together, it wouldn’t put them together. </p><p><em>But maybe</em>, he heard Derek’s voice. <em>Maybe it will</em>. </p><p>The elevator stopped and Will let out a long breath before opening his eyes and stepping out onto the floor. </p><p>He spotted Derek immediately. Across the hall, stepping out of an elevator of his own. His eyes found Will’s at almost the exact same moment and in an instant, Will felt unsteady.</p><p>His heart began to race. It had been four months since his last Match with Derek—and during that time he hadn’t even seen him <em>once</em>. Sometimes on old Matches they’d pass by one another at the Hub or on a walk with their current Match, but even when he was looking Will always came up short. </p><p>Every feeling that he’d been holding back these last few months came flooding back. He was overwhelmed with a rush of something so cold and deep that Will felt like he couldn’t breathe. He’d missed Derek more than he’d ever known it was possible to miss someone; no matter who he’d been Matched with he hadn’t been able to put Derek out of his mind completely—hadn’t wanted to. </p><p>At the sight of him, Will was frozen. Derek’s eyes widened too but he started for Will without pause.</p><p>It didn’t look like there was anyone else with him. </p><p>“Will?” Derek called. He hurried across the lobby quickly, lifting his hand in greeting and picking up speed the closer he got. Will managed a step in Derek’s direction after hearing his voice—it was really him—but Derek was faster and arrived to him before Will could gain any traction. </p><p>“Hi,” Will greeted, breathless. </p><p>Derek drew him into his arms, winding himself around him. “Hi,” he exhaled. It was really him, Derek was really here. The weight of his arms, the feel of his breath on Will’s neck. Will squeezed his eyes shut and held Derek tighter, afraid what would happen if he let go. </p><p>How long did they have to savor it?</p><p>He pulled back needing to know but Derek wouldn’t let him get far. They shifted out of way of the elevators but kept close, Derek’s eyes always finding his.</p><p>“Where’re you headed?” Will whispered. </p><p>He was too afraid to hope—Derek could be here alone for any number of reasons. </p><p>But Derek cupped his cheek, refusing to even let him look elsewhere. They easily held one another’s gaze and Will felt a little bit like he could be dreaming. It’d been so long since he’d seen Derek—so long since he’d gotten to look at him like this. He felt his memory realign, soaking in his beauty in the small bits that had started to blur. </p><p>“I’ve got a new Match,” Derek told him. “Headed for Waldo’s.”</p><p>Will’s heart continued to pound. “Me too.”</p><p>Derek’s eyes widened. “You don’t think—?”</p><p>Will scrambled to draw his Coach out of his pocket, desperate to know.</p><p>“<em>Match confirmed</em>.” </p><p>Derek crumbled in relief, gathering Will into his arms as he gasped, “Oh thank fucking God.” Will chuckled, the same sense of relief washing over him at once. They stumbled a little, swaying in the hallway of the Hub as Derek guided them onward a few steps to tuck themselves against a wall. “I thought you were gone,” Derek rasped once they’d stopped moving, burying his face in the crook of Will’s neck. “I hadn’t seen you—”</p><p>“I know,” Will agreed. “Me too.” He wound his arms around Derek’s waist, needing him just as close as it seemed Derek needed him. He closed his eyes again and shook his head in disbelief—he couldn’t believe this was really happening. “Convinced you’d left.” </p><p>“Without saying goodbye?” Derek whispered. He mouthed his way up Will’s throat. </p><p>“Derek, we’re in public,” he reprimanded breathily. </p><p>“Can we skip dinner? Please?”</p><p>Will responded by dragging him back to the closest elevator, pulling out Coach again. “Can you get us to our Pod?” he asked. </p><p>“<em>Cart arriving</em>.” </p><p>From the elevator back down to the Cart, they never stopped touching. Between Derek crowding him back against the wall and Will tangling their fingers together as he pulled him back outside, Will was half-convinced if he let Derek go he’d slip away, gone forever again. </p><p>Will and Derek slid onto the open bench practically on top of one another, desperate to stay close, hands gripping one another tightly, grateful that the Carts were automated.  </p><p>He didn’t know what to think, how to feel. “I can’t believe it’s really you,” Will whispered. He reached out to cradle Derek’s cheek and Derek leaned into it with a small, contented smile. </p><p>Already Will wished this moment would never end. They didn’t even need to get to the Pod—they could just stay here in the cart forever. In the past few months Derek’s face had started to fade from his mind and Will refused to let it happen again. However much time they had together he’d spend it savoring proximity to Derek, re-learning all of his features and burning them into his mind. </p><p>Derek lifted his hand to cover Will’s and whispered back, “I missed you.” Will nodded, feeling the same, but Derek’s eyes grew concerned. “Do you still…” he trailed off, hesitating.</p><p>Will brushed his thumb gently along Derek’s jaw. “Nothing’s changed for me,” he promised. “About how I feel for you.” </p><p>“Me neither,” Derek agreed breathlessly. </p><p>Will couldn’t let another moment pass without kissing him. He drew him in and lightly pressed his lips to Derek's, overwhelmed at the feeling of Derek’s smile against his mouth. Will pulled back almost at once, his smile growing too. They laughed into their next kiss, the feel of it more magical than anything Will had ever experienced.</p><p>Another Match with Derek. Finally with Derek again.</p><p>Their ride flew by and before they knew it they were at their Pod, hurrying off the bench to get inside. They burst through the door and stumbled an extra few feet before Derek finally came into contact with a wall. He laughed wildly as he drew Will in for another kiss, smiling into it. </p><p>“Sorry,” Will murmured. He lifted his hand to cradle the back of Derek’s head where he’d hit the wall a little too forcefully. “I forget they change.”</p><p>“The Pods?” Derek laughed. He didn’t seem to care, cupping one of Will’s cheeks with one hand and gripping his hip with the other. Will kissed him again, letting himself be pulled until their hips were aligned. </p><p>The layout of their Pod had changed again and Will didn’t care enough to pay attention to it right now. He just wanted to feel Derek beneath his hands, to taste him on his tongue again. As they kissed Will reached down to unbutton Derek’s jeans and felt the other man smile as Will worked on the zipper. </p><p>“Will—”</p><p>“Shhh.”</p><p>Derek’s smile grew. He leaned back against the wall while Will lowered himself to his knees, looking up with wide questioning eyes. When he nodded, Will tugged Derek’s boxers down too. He wanted Derek hard and slick before dragging him to the living room and pushing him down on the couch, Will desperate to climb on top of him. They worked together to get Will’s pants down, grinding together until they were both wet and sticky, Will’s hands firm around both of their cocks.</p><p>Later after getting some lube Will pinned Derek down and straddled his hips, lowering himself down while Derek guided him with firm hands. They both moaned as Will sunk down, his vision going gray as he felt Derek inside of him. Their lips found one another again but they were both panting, open-mouthed as Will rode him slowly.</p><p>Derek groaned, dropping his head backwards. “Fuck. You feel so <em>good</em>.” </p><p>Will came first, Derek knowing exactly what to do with his hands to tip him over the edge, and he collapsed with a gasp on Derek’s chest. Derek came soon after, wrapped around Will, neither of them with any intention of moving.</p><p>When their breath returned to them and then they returned to themselves, Derek started to laugh. Will tipped his head toward him with his eyebrows high on his forehead, amused at the sound, and Derek only laughed harder. He reached for Will with weak arms who quickly crawled across the space between them, bending in for the kiss that Derek knew he was asking for. </p><p>“Mm.” Derek sighed as they parted, his smile still incredibly wide. “Wow. So you did miss me.”</p><p>“Fuck you,” Will laughed.</p><p>“Already done.” </p><p>Will scrambled to draw Derek closer for another kiss, both of them grinning as their lips met. Will hadn’t felt this alive in so long he was starting to think he’d completely forgotten himself. </p><p>They took their time collecting themselves before heading for the shower together, every moment unrushed and wonderful. They still hadn’t checked the Expiry. </p><p>Will couldn’t help but think of it, but it wasn’t his focus. Derek was here—they could check it soon. They just had to have a moment longer soaking one another in without the fear of however long it could be to ruin it. </p><p>Not knowing when the Expiry was made all of this feel that much better. No wonder Derek never wanted to look. </p><p>Derek crowded him back against the wall in the showder and kissed his way down Will’s throat, keen on his collarbone as the warm water pelted them. “I missed you so much,” Derek murmured into his skin. Will nodded, tilting his head back and letting Derek’s words burn along his neck. “I thought I saw you everywhere.” </p><p>Will wound his arms around Derek’s waist to pull him closer, wanting him flush against him again. </p><p>He couldn’t be sure how much time they wasted in the shower (they still hadn’t checked the Expiry) but once they were out and dressed again in sweats they went right for the kitchen to cook something. Derek was always close, crowding behind Will at the counter as he chopped vegetables, or just a step away to taste the sauce Will was mixing in the pan.</p><p>“This is real, right?” Will found himself asking. Even with Derek’s hands on him, he felt he could close his eyes for too long and all of this would disappear. “You’re here.”</p><p>“I’m here,” Derek promised.</p><p>They had to check the Expiry.</p><p>This wouldn’t feel real to Will until they did. Once he voiced this, Derek’s bright smile slipped in an instant. Still, they grabbed their devices, needing both of them to activate the Expiry, and moved to sit down to eat the dinner they’d prepared.</p><p>“Maybe if we don’t check the Expiry it’ll just go on forever,” Derek murmured sadly. His eyes were focused on the space on the table between them where their Coaches sat side by side. “And we’ll never have to be apart again.”</p><p>Will ached. “You know that isn’t how it works.” Whether or not they left the Match, a new one would roll in like clockwork. He drew Derek’s hand closer and squeezed just a little tighter. Besides, Will simply couldn’t do it that way. He needed to know how much time he had, needed to prepare for when he had to let go. He would let his worry overtake him.</p><p>Derek looked so genuinely broken that Will couldn’t help but feel it too. He’d always rushed to check the Expiry but he’d never realized how much Derek deeply hated it. </p><p>“Let’s go without it for a night,” Will decided suddenly. “Just tonight.” Derek’s eyes brightened. “What do you think?”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Will insisted. It couldn’t be worse than 36 hours—wouldn’t be. Will refused to accept it. And they’d already made it this long, so what harm would a couple more hours do? “Just tonight—we can check it in the morning.” He could give Derek this if he wanted it.</p><p>“Yes!” Derek pushed his Coach aside immediately and reached across for Will. “<em>Yes</em>. Thank you.” </p><p>Derek’s mouth was on his at once. Will chuckled as Derek slid his hands around his waist to keep him close, letting himself get caught up in the moment as well. He’d never gone without checking the Expiry for so long but time with Derek passed so, so quickly that he knew the morning would be there before they knew it. </p><p>“Are you sure?” Derek asked, still breathless. </p><p>Will shrugged and nodded. Seeing as they’d skipped dinner their timeline was already off—this was already the longest Will had gone without checking it. A few more hours wouldn’t hurt.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>In the morning, Will made them coffee before they moved to the porch to watch the sunrise. Derek felt well-rested. He and Will hadn’t slept much, spending the night trading whispers and kisses and winding themselves in one another, savoring closeness instead of sleep. When it did come Derek slept better than he had in a terribly long time, and waking up in Will’s arms without any idea of when it would need to end felt like a dream.</p><p>Even though he didn’t <em>want </em>to check the Expiry, he felt like he was ready. </p><p>Their last Match had only been 36 hours. Derek’s shortest match had been 12 hours, and if that were the case they’d only have a few hours left to share. His stomach was tight with knots at the possibility, but he was hopeful the System had reverted itself back to its standard <em>one week</em> for the two of them. It wasn’t nearly enough time but it was familiar—Derek could plan for that.</p><p>Will passed Derek the mug he’d made up for him and pressed a quick kiss to the top of his head before joining him on the bench. </p><p>“Thank you,” Derek murmured, pulling the mug in for a drink. “I really needed last night.” </p><p>Will smiled but his eyes were sad. Derek wondered what he would say if he asked Will for more time, another few hours without checking Coach, but he didn’t want to push. </p><p>“It was… weird,” Will admitted, his smile still small. “I’ve never done that before.”</p><p>“Me neither,” Derek agreed. He looked toward Coach and shook his head. “You think Coach’ll be mad we waited?”</p><p>“Can Coach feel?” Will asked. “If anything I wonder if we’d be penalized in the System, somehow.” The knots in Derek’s stomach only grew tighter. “No, Der—” Will reached for him with his freehand. “We won’t be,” he promised. Always so sure when Derek needed it from him, even if he wasn’t really sure himself. “If we overstayed the Match we’ll just…” Will trailed off. “We won’t have.” </p><p>“If we don’t check at all we won’t know,” Derek whispered back. </p><p>Will’s eyes shut, his eyebrows furrowing together. “I have to know,” he rasped. “I’m sorry…” </p><p>“No, no, it’s okay. We should check.” Will could be right. The System might penalize them somehow for not checking the Expiry on the first night like protocol tells them to. </p><p>“I don’t <em>want </em>to,” Will insisted, eyes opening so he could look at Derek again. “This isn’t easy for me either.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“I think it’ll be okay,” Will rushed. “I’ve been thinking, and—I mean, we had the two weeks, then the 36—like the System was correcting itself or something. So I feel good about this one. Like maybe it’ll be back to normal.”</p><p>Will had reached the same conclusion Derek had—another week together seemed like their best option. </p><p>“Any time with you won’t be enough,” Derek told him. Will sighed. “Doesn’t mean I’m not happy for it,” he added.</p><p>Will nodded a little. “Yeah.” He shrugged. “Or it could be four weeks,” Will offered quietly. “One month. Double our longest.” Derek’s heart swelled as he grew hopeful. “We won’t know unless we look.”</p><p>“Okay.” It was time. “Let’s just get it over with.” </p><p>They both grabbed their own Coach devices and settled down beside one another, Will offering Derek his hand before they tapped to make the reveal. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>Three Months</em> </strong>
</p><p>Could he be seeing that right? </p><p>Derek blinked, waiting for his vision to adjust, but the announcement didn’t change. “Months,” Derek rasped. Will was silent too, staring at his device with his mouth open. “We—get months?” His eyes flooded with tears and he sucked in a sharp breath, overwhelmed. “Will…” </p><p>The timer flashed, the countdown spinning to account for their night without having revealed it, but there were still so many days left, so many hours. </p><p>“We have so much time,” Will whispered in disbelief. “I’ve never had this much time.” Derek’s eyes snapped shut and he tried his hardest to fight his tears but he couldn’t. He gasped again, trying to maintain his composure, when Will finally reached for him. “Der, hey,” Will exhaled with a little laugh. He cupped Derek’s cheeks, his thumbs fanning across them. “Hey,” he soothed again. </p><p>Derek collapsed forward and wound his arms around Will, overwhelmed. “I’m sorry,” he rasped.</p><p>“Shhh, it’s okay.” Will’s hand on Derek’s back was steady—the other came up to cup the back of his neck. “I’m here.” </p><p>Derek could melt. They had <em>months</em>. </p><p>He’d never had a Match this long and the fact that it was with Will was a little unbelievable. For a moment he worried if he let Will out of his sight—out of his hold—that he would wake up and find this had all been a cruel dream.</p><p>But then Will whispered, “We might have to cut back on our evening cookies.” And Derek laughed, knowing with certainty that this was real, that they were here, together. </p><p>“No way,” Derek rasped. “We should just try to make like—new flavors.” </p><p>Will kissed him gently. “Like what?”</p><p>“Peanut butter,” Derek answered at once. “Topped with chocolate kisses. Snickerdoodles. Or just sugar cookies for once.” He reached up, carding his fingers through Will’s hair. “I like gingersnaps too.”</p><p>“You would.”</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>With the announcement of months ahead of them, the two returned back inside to make breakfast. Will took Coach with him, half convinced if he wasn’t looking at the number counting down it would compress and be gone before either of them realized. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>89:09:43:09</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>89 days left. Three months with Derek. </p><p>They had months to get to know one another again, but it had been months since their last Match. A lot could change over that amount of time; Will knew he himself was a different man. Staying up late to recount memories, both of them had grown in different ways. </p><p>But that spark was still there—that feeling that had tethered them together in the first place. </p><p>“Did you… connect with anyone?” Will asked.</p><p>He figured they should get the conversation out of the way. The earlier the better, or else Will would sit with it, waiting and wondering what Derek had given up—if it was anything like this or not. After breakfast they settled down on the couch, still never out of reach of one another.</p><p>Derek nodded slowly, his smile reminiscent and mischievous. “Yeah,” he answered softly. “We had a month and a half together.” His eyes shifted elsewhere and Will’s chest grew tight at the sad look on Derek’s face. “It was the happiest I’d been in a long time. Like—I was remembering myself again.” </p><p>As hard as it was for Will to say it he admitted, “That’s good.” </p><p>Derek deserved happiness more than anyone else Will knew. No matter who it was with. He’d had too many Matches, struggled through the System for so long, however peace found him was okay with Will. Still, he couldn’t help but be a little curious. Who was that person? How did they pass their time?</p><p>“You can ask,” Derek prompted quietly. “If you want.” </p><p>Will was hesitant. He wanted to know but couldn’t help but think of his conversation with Justin all that time ago. He knew what the System entailed. They needed to be able to talk about it without Will retreating into a jealous state—and he was sure that he was strong enough in his feelings that he could. </p><p>“I don’t need to know everything,” Will told him. “But if you have things you want to share, you know. I’d like to hear that I think.”</p><p>Derek’s smile grew slowly and he nodded again. “Okay.” He eased a little closer to Will, his hand easing over Will’s knee. “Did you? Connect with anyone.”</p><p>Will tipped his head forward slightly. “Yeah.” With a handful of longer Matches, Will eventually let himself open up. As much as the ache of leaving Derek had followed him Will still yearned for love. “Not like this, though.” </p><p>“No,” Derek agreed fiercely. “Never like this.” </p><p>Will reached out then and tapped the tip of his finger against Derek’s nose, bringing a surprised smile to Derek’s face. He pressed forward for a kiss which made Will smile, too. </p><p>The longer he was with Derek the more Will’s anxiety about what their time apart had meant faded. He always forgot that being with Derek meant feeling affirmed, again and again and again, in every little moment. </p><p>Derek kissed him again and lifted his hand from Will’s knee to cup his cheek, climbing onto his lap in the same motion and pressing him backwards and down onto the couch. Will’s smile only grew, no longer reprimanding himself for enjoying easy intimacy with Derek like he had in the past. He still felt a little delirious from how much time they had. </p><p>No, it was never like this with anyone else. Will had never known peace like this with another Match, so deep in his bones that he didn’t even have to think about it. </p><p>“My Matches got shorter,” Will told him as Derek kissed along his neck.</p><p>“Mine got longer.”</p><p>“I looked for you everywhere,” Will admitted. He let himself enjoy his Matches when he could, but in small moments he found himself searching for Derek. Either at the Hub or around the lake or if his Match was summoned to a Farewell Party—he was always scanning. </p><p>“Now we don’t have to search,” Derek exhaled. He drew back, looking Will in the eyes, and smiled another time. “Will,” he said.</p><p>Will propped himself up on an elbow to better hold his gaze, waiting for Derek to speak again. Instead he leaned in for another kiss, both of them too overwhelmed to say anything else. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>84:06:37:18</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Stepping into something familiar and casual with Derek took no time at all. They had their routine down and caught up in the delight of having so much time made every moment feel warm and golden. They slept in a little bit and stayed up a little bit too, watching movies on the couch or shedding their clothes to get one another closer. With such a ridiculous amount of time Will stopped checking Coach as often as he used to, not needing to worry about it. </p><p>But some time had passed since the start now, about a week into it, and Will wanted to make sure they were both on the same page.</p><p>“I really want to be a good partner to you,” Will said quietly one morning. They had just finished cleaning up from a late breakfast and were lingering in the kitchen, just enjoying their coffee. “I know I can be… difficult sometimes but I just really want these next months to be good for you.” </p><p>“You’re a great partner to me,” Derek told him, drawing Will’s hand closer. “You always listen to me, and you cook for me, and I love spending time with you—doesn’t matter what we’re doing.” Will exhaled softly, the beginnings of a smile finding him. “Am I a good partner to you?” Derek asked, voice laced with a small amount of worry. </p><p>“Yes,” Will rushed. He looked up to meet Derek’s gaze. “The best.”</p><p>“I’m loud and sometimes push you too far and—”</p><p>“No,” Will interrupted. “No, I love how you make me think. And—yeah, you’re loud. It’s you.” </p><p>“You know I like to talk about things,” Derek said, and Will nodded immediately. It wasn’t that Will didn’t like to talk about things, it just didn’t come as easily. “When it gets hard.”</p><p>“I know,” Will insisted. </p><p>Derek smiled and shifted his hands until their palms fit together. “What’re you worried about?” he asked softly.</p><p>Will didn’t want to tell Derek the full truth. That—maybe if he could be the best partner possible, if he could show the System how good at this he was and how much he really <em>wanted it</em>, that it wouldn’t separate them at the end of it. </p><p>“I’m not worried,” Will told him.</p><p>“Good,” Derek affirmed. “You shouldn’t be.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>68:03:47:07 </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Even making the most of every moment with Will, every moment began to blend together. One perfect contended day after the next. Meals together, nights exploring through the trails around the System, afternoons gazing out at the lake. They planted their garden and they read new books and they tried new wines and all of it was wonderful. </p><p>When Will needed space he would go for a jog or see a movie on his own and whenever Derek worried they would sit and talk about it. But in the end they always wound themselves together to sleep, grateful for the time together and never taking a single moment for granted. </p><p>Derek was nervous this afternoon but knew how he wanted to spend their evening, and had already resolved to moving ahead with his plans despite his hesitation. </p><p>He found Will spread on the couch with another new book, the other man looking up at him with a smile when Derek entered. “What’s up?”</p><p>“I was thinking,” Derek began nervously. Will looked up from his book slowly, eyes curious. “Maybe tonight,” he started again, and Will’s eyebrows only slowly crept up his forehead, waiting for more. “I was thinking maybe I could cook for you?” he finally finished. Will’s face flooded with surprise and Derek turned away while he continued his nervous speech. “You always cook for me, I just want to be able to cook you dinner one night.” </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>Derek spun back to face him, nerves less knotted in his stomach at the positive tone of Will’s response. </p><p>“Yeah! I mean—nothing fancy, so don’t get too excited, but—”</p><p>“No, Der, yeah,” Will interrupted softly. “That’s—that’d be cool. I’d love that.” </p><p>“You’d have to leave the Pod,” Derek said, growing serious, but it only brought a wider smile to Will’s face. He watched Will set down his book and stretch backwards on the couch, amused. “You’d be too nosy. I couldn’t handle you constantly peeking into the kitchen.”</p><p>“I won’t,” Will promised.</p><p>“Yeah—because you won’t be here. I am kicking you out.” Will chuckled and shook his head, his smile still warm. “There’s a few movies you might like playing at the Hub. I already checked. And if you don’t want to watch a movie, then—”</p><p>“I’ll figure something out,” Will said gently. “<em>Chill</em>.” Derek wrinkled his nose and Will wrinkled his nose back, his smile pinched and adorable and perfect. ”How long do you need?” Will asked. </p><p>They set the time and Will went back to his book while Derek tidied up around the Pod, watering plants and grabbing old mugs that had been left out.  As evening drew near Will gathered his things to go out for a walk, leaving Derek with a kiss that kept him feeling warm.</p><p>It wasn’t as perfect as Derek had hoped but by the time Will returned, dinner was ready. “I present to you…” Derek he off as he lifted the cover of the dish as Will entered. “Breakfast for dinner!”</p><p>Will exhaled a laugh, his eyes wide and dark. “Pancakes,” he said softly. “They smell great.”</p><p>“First thing you taught me to make,” Derek reminded him as he settled down in his seat. “Other than cheesy bread. And that’s super complicated.”</p><p>It’s not that he was incredibly proud of his meal, it was more that Derek wanted to take a minute to remind Will how all of this had started and how far they’ve come. There were plenty of dishes Derek could’ve gone for that would’ve been plenty tasty but nothing that carried the same sentimentality. </p><p>“I remember,” Will said. He gestured toward the food and Derek nodded so Will could serve himself. “You got so much eggshell in the bowl.”</p><p>“It wasn’t that bad.”</p><p>“It was.”</p><p>“Okay, well,” Derek smiled, rolling his eyes a little at Will’s mischievous grin. “There’s no eggshell in this. Cause it’s from the box and I just added water.” Will laughed and Derek knew without a doubt that it was his favorite sound in the world. “No, I used your recipe, but no eggshell. Promise.” </p><p>“How’d you get my recipe?” Will asked, reaching for the jar of peanut butter Derek set out. </p><p>“Oh—strawberries too,” Derek said, nudging a bowl forward. “I wrote it down?”</p><p>Will lit up at the strawberries but asked, “What, my recipe? When?”</p><p>“The day you were walking me through it all the first time.” </p><p>He laughed again. “What?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“No you didn’t,” Will said. He’d paused for a moment at Derek’s announcement but was back to slathering toppings all over his pancakes. “You, like—barely paid attention.”</p><p>“I had a notebook on the table and literally wrote the whole thing down,” Derek said fondly. “Look—” he stood and went for the counter, grabbing the journal that he’d written a handful of other recipes of Will’s in too. “Here.” Derek passed him the notebook and sat back down to finish topping his own pancakes.</p><p>Will really paused then, opening the journal and paging through to see what Derek had written. Other than a handful of recipes the pages were mostly full of sketches and scattered poetic thoughts he wanted to hang onto for later. </p><p>He scanned a few pages before pausing on one and really reading through when suddenly a laugh escaped him.</p><p>“Sorry,” Will said, quickly looking up and then down at the page again, and then up once more. “Sorry—you even added the cinnamon.” </p><p>Derek arched an eyebrow before cutting into his pancake. “Should I not have?”</p><p>“I didn’t realize you saw me add it.” Will shook his head, rolling his eyes a little and closing the notebook so he could get back to his meal. “It’s a personal preference—it’s not <em>necessary</em>. I just think it adds a nice flavor.”</p><p>“Oh. Well then me too.” Derek looked down at Will’s plate, still in prep mode. “I know you like cinnamon,” he added. “You gonna try them, or?”</p><p>Will looked over with a smile, his eyes briefly darting back to scan the page another time. He carried on to finish adding his toppings and said, “This is really sweet, Derek.” He slathered a spoonful of strawberries on top of the peanut butter he spread out before grabbing the syrup and pouring that on too. “I’m sure they’re great.” Derek took another bite of his own, smiling into it while Will readied his own. “Mmmm,” he hummed around the bite. </p><p>Will made a big show of enjoying his bite before hooking his ankle around Derek’s to drag him closer. After swallowing he leaned across the table for a quick, syrupy kiss that made Derek feel warmer than the stove had earlier. </p><p>“It’s really good,” Will murmured when he pulled back. </p><p>Derek sighed, licking his lips as Will returned to his seat with a fond smile on his face. “Oh, I like you,” he exhaled happily.</p><p>Will chuckled and went back to his pancakes. Derek knew it was rather difficult to mess up pancakes, but he’d also worked pretty hard on them. Bacon too, which he needed more help from Coach for, but that turned out crispy—just as Will liked it. </p><p>They talked about Will’s evening while they ate before reflecting back on some of their earlier Matches—really the one where they first made pancakes together. They’d cooked together a lot that Match—Derek jotting notes down here and there because he’d never been sure what would really be helpful to know. Later, in other Matches that hadn’t been to Will, he would page back through them with a fond heart and run his fingers over the words, always surprised at how far they had come. </p><p>After dinner Will moved to help with dishes and Derek stopped him immediately.</p><p>“You always do dishes when I cook,” Will responded as Derek nudged him from the sink. “It’s only fair.”</p><p>“No, stop,” Derek laughed, shooing Will away. “Seriously.” The whole point of the night was to do something special for Will—he’d take care of the mess. “Let me clean up. Go shower or something, get ready for bed.” </p><p>Will slid his hands around Derek’s waist and pulled him close for a kiss. He kept close but wouldn’t meet Derek’s eyes when murmuring, “What about a bath?” </p><p>Immediately, Derek was warm. “What about it?” </p><p>“I could start it,” Will murmured slowly. “And… you could join me?” </p><p>Derek kissed him again, feeling weak in the knees. “Yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Will exhaled.</p><p>“Okay, yeah. I’d love to.” Will kissed him another time before pulling back, his smile small but brilliant as he retreated back toward their room to start the bath. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>Will felt ridiculous. </p><p>He’d never taken a bath with someone before. Hell—he hadn’t taken a bath <em>himself</em> in an absurdly long time. Will and Derek had taken many showers together, but for some reason a bath just felt a little less likely—a little more intimate. He entered the bathroom to start the water and stared at the tap for much longer than necessary because he couldn’t figure out how to work it before deciding to just fiddle with it and see what happened. </p><p>Would Derek want warm water or hot water? Definitely not cold water. Will placed his fingers under the stream to test the water and sat back as the tub filled. </p><p>Breakfast for dinner had been surprisingly dreamy. He hadn’t known what to expect when Derek asked him out of the Pod so he could cook and hadn’t realized how big his heart would swell upon the return. It wasn’t like Will had never had another Match cook for him—he had. Or rather, they would both cook, share the responsibility. With Derek it just more naturally fell to Will and he never minded. He liked cooking and specifically he liked cooking for Derek. He just hadn’t realized that Derek offering to do that for him so intentionally would feel so big. </p><p>So, Derek was making grand gestures, and Will could do it too. Hence the bath. </p><p>Will rifled through the cabinet and found some salts and oils and while he didn’t really understand why they would be good for a bath he knew that Derek always used them so he added a whole bunch anyway. </p><p>When it came time to actually get in the bath, Will hesitated again. Should he just wait for Derek to come and then they could get in together? Or—no, he asked Derek to join him, so he should probably be in the tub by the time he arrived. </p><p>Will stripped down and toed into the bath—warmer than he’d been anticipating but not enough that it was uncomfortable. In fact it was wonderful and he sighed in relaxation at once, sinking down into the water in surprise. No wonder Derek was always keen on a bath. His eyes drifted shut and he wasn’t sure how much time passed before Derek arrived, knocking lightly on the door before entering. </p><p>“That’s a sight I could get used to,” Derek said warmly.</p><p>Will rolled his eyes—heavy from nearly fallen asleep in his comfort. “Well don’t.”</p><p>Derek chuckled as he started stripping down, his shirt up and over his head, his pants pooling at his feet. “Why?” he almost whined. “Don’t you like it?” </p><p>Will sunk a little deeper into the water, wishing the bubbles were even higher, still. “It’s fine.”</p><p>“Could I sit behind you?” Derek asked as he stepped out of his boxers. “Or do you want me on the other side?”</p><p>Will was grateful that the warm water had already left him flushed. “Behind me’s fine.” </p><p>“Chill.” Will rolled his eyes but scooted forward so Derek could step in behind him. He let out a soft noise of approval with one ankle in the tub that only made Will smile larger. “It’s perfect,” Derek murmured as he sunk down to sit. </p><p>They were both large men so their tub had to be even bigger, and there was enough space that they both could fit comfortably. Will sank backwards into his arms and sighed as Derek pressed a few kisses down his neck. They had Coach adjust the lighting and add some music and sinking back into Derek’s arms Will wasn’t sure that he’d ever been this relaxed in his life. </p><p>“I get why you like it,” he admitted.</p><p>Derek exhaled a soft laugh. “What, baths?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“They’re comforting.”</p><p>Will hummed in agreement. He thought about all the things he did to make this one even better, like the stuff he splashed in at the start while the water was still filling up. “The oils are just to make it smell nice?” Will asked, sinking a little deeper into Derek’s arms.</p><p>“Mmm.” His voice low in Will’s ear added an extra level of relaxation to it all. “Yeah. But like the way some essential oils smell nice—it’s aromatherapy. So it actually helps you relax more.” </p><p>Will smiled a little. “Is that real?”</p><p>“No I made it up. Yeah that’s real,” Derek answered with a soft chuckle. </p><p>“And the salts?”</p><p>“Good for your skin.” </p><p>“Right.” Will sunk a little deeper, unbelievably happy. “What would I do without you?”</p><p>Derek sighed. “Let’s not find out.” </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>50:07:29:21</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>It has been indicated that Will has been invited to a Farewell Party</em>.” </p><p>The announcement came as a surprise, Coach’s voice startling Will from the puzzle he and Derek had been working on. He looked toward Derek and found him looking amused, his eyebrows high on his forehead, before he looked back down toward their puzzle.</p><p>Most of the Farewell Parties they went to were for Derek’s old Matches. They always went.</p><p>“Should we go?” Will asked.</p><p>“It’s up to you.” Will frowned, and Derek knew it was a look that meant <em>answer my actual question</em>, and that the actual question had been <em>do </em>you<em> think we should go? </em>He smiled and said, “Yeah, Will, I think we should go. If you were invited it means someone wants to say goodbye to you. You probably left an impression on them.”</p><p>Will considered this for a moment, his eyebrows drawing together. “I don’t know who it could be.” </p><p>“We won’t know unless we go,” Derek reminded him, and Will knew the decision had already been made.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>“It’s… Eric,” Will said. With this realization came a rare shade of pink that Derek only found himself privy to a handful of times—namely fawning over Will in the kitchen (and sometimes in bed). He was bashful, the tips of his ears and the back of his neck and his wonderful cheeks all the same color. Derek’s insides felt gooey at once. “He taught me to bake,” Will reminded him. </p><p>Of course Derek remembered. Of all the Matches that Will spoke about, it was pretty evident that Eric had remained someone important to Will. That he cared for him differently than a majority of his other Matches. </p><p>“Did you Match with him more than once?” Will nodded. Derek couldn’t remember specifics sometimes, but Will had a handful of repeat Matches in their time apart. “Well let’s go say hello,” Derek urged, amused at Will’s sudden shyness. </p><p>They made their way through the crowd and Derek was glad that they came. He loved Farewell Parties and getting the chance to mingle. It’d be fun talking to one of his old Matches too—he’d met so many of Derek’s that it was only fair. </p><p>“Will, honey!” Eric lit up, waving at him the moment he saw him. “Oh, I’m so glad you came!” He gestured for Will to join him and after a quick glance to Derek, who nodded encouragingly, they strode in Eric’s direction. “I definitely forgot how tall you are,” Eric said as they approached, smiling too. He pressed himself on his tiptoes to plant a warm kiss on Will’s cheek “It’s so nice to see you!”</p><p>Will erupted with pink all over again. “Thank you. I mean—yes. It’s good to see you too.” </p><p>Eric looked over and Derek smiled, waving. “Hi,” Derek greeted. “I’m Will’s current Match.” Eric’s smile didn’t waver, he only crossed over to Derek and offered him a hug. “Derek.”</p><p>Will and Eric traded a glance that Derek couldn’t read and Eric only smiled more. “It’s great to meet you,” he said. “My Ultimate is somewhere over…” Eric trailed off, looking over his shoulder. “Jack!” he called. A tall brunette in the middle of talking with another small blond looked over, smiling when Eric called for him and offering a wave. “That’s Jack.” </p><p>Jack crossed through the party to join them with a smile. “Hi, welcome. Thanks for coming.” They traded names again and Will wandered off with Eric, leaving Jack and Derek alone for a moment. “How’re you liking the party?” Jack asked.</p><p>Derek smiled, looking out across it. They’d only just arrived really. “It’s nice to be with others,” he said. “How long have you been in the System?” </p><p>“Too long,” Jack answered tiredly, but wore a smile when he said so. “Bits is my 73rd Match.” It took Derek a moment to realize what he was saying because he wasn’t sure that Bits was Eric at first, too caught up in the fact that he said <em>73rd Match</em>. “They weren’t all as long as you might think,” Jack reassured quietly with a nod, eyes elsewhere as he did.</p><p>Derek wondered if everyone was always as itching to talk about their experience in the System as he was. “No, I know what you mean,” Derek hurried. “I’m in a long one now, but it’s never been like that for me.” Jack met his gaze then and nodded before returning to his drink, taking a sip. “Had you and Eric—Bits?”</p><p>“Eric’s fine,” Jack said with a laugh.</p><p>“Had you two Matched before?” he wondered. </p><p>Jack nodded, eyes turning and seeking the party for where his Match had wandered off too. Derek turned too, looking for Will in the same beat. “Four times,” Jack answered. “The fourth had nearly ended before it told us.” </p><p>Derek startled. “You mean—you and Eric were already in your Match and then it told you that it was you two?”</p><p>Jack nodded. “Something like that.” </p><p>“Long Matches?” Derek pushed. “Short ones?”</p><p>He knew the System worked differently for everyone, but any chance he had to talk about the Ultimate Match with someone he’d take it. He’d learned bits here and there from previous Matches but nothing really ever made any sense, nothing told him what would make it <em>stick</em>. </p><p>“Both,” Jack answered. Not everyone really wanted to get into it. “Oh—excuse me,” he turned to Derek with a smile. “There’s someone I’d like to—”</p><p>“No, of course,” Derek hurried. “Go, go. Congrats!”</p><p>Jack smiled and nodded at him before hurrying off to a man with long hair and a wonderful mustache, greeting him with a loving and familiar hug. Derek smiled and went searching for snacks, wondering what Will and Eric could be chatting about. Privately he wished their names weren’t so similar—Derek would duel him if he had to. He chatted with idle Matches here and there, not finding any of his old ones in this particular crowd, and enjoyed the presence of others. </p><p>By the time Will returned to him Derek had enjoyed a glass or two of champagne. </p><p>“Sorry to keep him away for so long,” Eric greeted upon their return. After a quick hand squeeze Will had gone off to grab some more treats and a drink for himself. “Will’s special. You know that.”</p><p>“I do,” Derek agreed at once. “Hey, I mean, thank you,” Derek insisted. “We Matched right after your long one together,” he explained. “Or well, the first one. Will was… different then. He’s been more open since. Without all that time with you, I don’t know. I don’t know that we would’ve gotten this far.”</p><p>Eric smiled and reached out, grabbing Derek’s hands. “You would’ve,” he promised. “Will has a big heart. He’s always just been lookin’ for love.”</p><p>Derek’s own heart felt like it grew a few sizes in his chest. “Yeah,” he agreed softly. “That’s true.” </p><p>“He seems happy,” Eric told him warmly. “He says he is.”</p><p>Derek squeezed his hands and they finally let go of one another, turning to greet Will just in time as he joined them. </p><p>“Well I’ve got some folks to chat with,” Eric told them as he bowed out gracefully. “Will, I’m serious. Once you’re out of here—”</p><p>“I know, I know,” he promised.</p><p>“And there’s a pie with your name on it,” Eric said, pointing toward a table off to the side covered with treats. “Your favorite.” </p><p>He reached out and grabbed Will’s hand, kissing it once before finally leaving them. Once he was gone Will exhaled, a sigh mixed with sadness and joy all at once. To say goodbye to someone darling was something not to be taken for granted. They spent a little more time enjoying the treats—all of them made by Eric, Will explained—before grabbing the pie labeled for Will and starting their trek back to their Pod.</p><p>“He’s sweet,” Derek said. “Not what I expected.” Will wouldn’t look at him, eyes on the ground with a worried wrinkle between his eyebrows. In fact, he hadn’t looked at him for a while since returning after his talk with his old Match. “Hey,” Derek softened, reaching out gently. He wound his arms around Will’s waist and pulled him closer. “What is it?”</p><p>“I would’ve said goodbye to you.” </p><p>Derek felt like someone had dumped ice water over his head. Their conversation from so long ago came racing back to him, before they attended their Farewell Party for Adam and Justin. Derek had pushed and pushed and pushed but Will was firm—he wanted the conversation to end. It hurt Derek immensely back then, but he’d forgotten about it until now.</p><p>“Will…” </p><p>He was speechless. Derek didn’t want to have to say goodbye to Will at all, but this he would take. </p><p>“In those months in between,” Will said quietly. “Any time there was a Farewell Party I always went. I always looked for you.”</p><p>“Will,” he said again. </p><p>“I just wanted you to know.” </p><p>Derek pulled him in for a soft kiss that quickly grew into more. With only a quick glance around Derek grabbed Will’s hand and pulled him off the path, down a few steps until they were out of sight from any passerbys. Derek pressed Will backwards against a tree and kissed him again, pinning him to the trunk and drinking him in. He felt Will smile against his lips and Derek smiled too, pulling back enough that he could look Will in the eyes.</p><p>“What?” Will asked breathlessly. </p><p>Derek didn’t even know what he wanted to say. So many things. To tell Will he never wanted to leave him, to tell Will that he <em>loved </em>him… </p><p>No—Derek squeezed his eyes shut again and rested his forehead against Will’s. He couldn’t possibly tell Will how big his feelings had grown, he felt like such an idiot letting it even get this far.</p><p>“Hey, I know,” Will murmured as Derek sighed. He slid his hands around Derek’s waist and sighed, too. </p><p>Jack’s elaboration on the Ultimate Match had only made Derek feel hopeful and dreamy. He wanted Coach to light up <em>now</em>—to tell them that this was it, they were going to be together and stay together and leave here <em>together</em>. </p><p>“Let’s just not say goodbye,” Derek said sadly. </p><p>Will sighed again, leaning in for another soft kiss. They didn’t talk about it more, but Derek was already dreaming about it. He didn’t know how many days were left in their Match and if he thought about it now, if he whispered about it to Will in moments like this, maybe it would stick that they could take control.</p><p>Maybe it would mean something. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>“What do you think happens if you don’t do what Coach says?” Derek asked.</p><p>Will paused with his hand in the air, mid-reach to the puzzle piece. Without moving his eyes shifted, scanning the table for his Coach device before realizing that he’d left it on his bedside table again. Derek almost never had his with him anymore. </p><p>“What do you think happens if Coach hears you ask that?” Will asked, voice softer.</p><p>“Are you whispering?” Derek whispered. Will stuck out his tongue at him and returned to searching for the piece he’d lost sight of after Derek’s question. “No really,” Derek prompted, voice softer than normal but not quite a whisper. “Do you ever think about it?”</p><p>“What happens when you break the rules here?” Will asked. “I don’t know.”</p><p>“Do people come to enforce it?” Derek wondered. “Or… what?” Like always, trying to reach into this part of his mind felt like a barrier had been intentionally thrown up. He let out an exasperated sigh and Derek nodded tiredly in agreement. “Failure to comply with the System results in Expulsion from the System,” Derek told him quietly. “That’s what Coach told me once.” </p><p>“Maybe… the ground opens up,” Will offered, finally finding the piece. “And swallows you whole.”</p><p>“Dark. Love it.”</p><p>He smiled, eyes flicking up to look at Derek just briefly. “Maybe it’s drones. Or robots.”</p><p>“Oh, creepy. Yes. Robot drones coming in with laser guns and nets to throw you out.” </p><p>Will chuckled, shaking his head a little bit. The piece didn’t fit so he tossed it aside, looking back up to Derek. “I don’t know.” Will propped his elbow up on the table and leaned into his hand. “What do you think?”</p><p>Derek looked out the window and sighed. “Maybe it rains.” </p><p>He knew that Derek missed the rain. Will had never been a fan of it himself, preferring cool or cloudy days over anything else, but it was weird that it had been so long without any significant weather. </p><p>“Should we break some rules and see what happens?” Will teased. </p><p>He looked up from the puzzle to find Derek watching him, eyes wide. “You don’t actually wanna do that,” he murmured.</p><p>He sounded more serious than Will expected him to. “I mean, no,” Will agreed slowly. “But it’s not like we really have a lot of rules to begin with.” There wasn’t a curfew or a dress code that they needed to follow, and they could talk about whatever they wanted. They had to stay within the confines of the System (so—they couldn’t climb the Wall) but had free range of the grounds. Unless he of course was talking about… “Other than the Expiry.”</p><p>Derek’s eyes shot elsewhere. </p><p>Suddenly, Will was itching to check it. At times he could go days without touching Coach, but the moment he remembered that this had an end to it he needed to see how many days they had left. </p><p>Without words he excused himself from the table and darted into their room to grab his device, his heart only settling down when he saw the numbers. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>27:23:08:51</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Just under a month. </p><p>He exhaled, both surprised at how much time had passed since the last time he checked and relieved at what remained. He took a few quiet breaths before setting Coach back on his bedside table and returning to Derek at their puzzle table, the other man not having moved. </p><p>A moment of silence passed before Will said, “We can’t ignore the Expiry.”</p><p>“I didn’t say—”</p><p>“Derek,” he interrupted tiredly. He didn’t want to do this tonight. “We still have so much time. Okay?” Derek was quiet in response. When Will looked over at him, Derek’s brow had furrowed. “What do you want me to say?” he asked.</p><p>“I don’t know,” he murmured. “Nothing.”</p><p>Will wished he had said nothing. He hated fighting with Derek. </p><p>“I don’t like it either,” Will carried on quietly. He hadn’t let himself sit with the full weight of leaving Derek behind yet because he knew whenever their Expiry came it was going to be terrible. “But—”</p><p>“I didn’t say anything,” Derek interrupted him. His voice was resigned and he wouldn’t look at Will. </p><p>“You didn’t have to.” Derek sighed and Will shook his head, upset that their night had taken this turn. “I know the System sucks but this is what we have. What if it takes away the Ultimate?”</p><p>Derek turned to look at him then, eyes dark with unspoken hurt. </p><p>Neither of them had said it, but Will was sure he and Derek felt the same. That if they had a choice in all of this… Will hadn’t meant to belittle what they had. But the damage was done, and Derek was upset.</p><p>“You’ll get your Ultimate,” Derek muttered harshly as he pushed himself away from the table. </p><p>“Derek—” Will called after him as Derek retreated to their room, slamming their door behind him. With an exhale, Will sunk down on the table with his head in his hands. </p><p>What did Derek want him to do? It wasn’t like Will had any say in all of this. He felt just as helpless as Derek did. Avoiding the reality of what the System did wasn’t good for either of them. </p><p>This would end. They would have to say goodbye. </p><p>But even as Will thought it now, his chest grew tight. He could put it out of his mind long enough but sitting with it stung. He didn’t <em>want </em>to say goodbye, but what Derek was implying… it was too risky. They had too much to lose. </p><p>A few deep breaths later Will pushed himself to stand, following after Derek anyway and knocking lightly before entering their room. Derek was sitting on the edge of their bed with his head in his hands and Will crossed quickly to sit beside him, resting one hand on Derek’s knee and the other on his shoulder.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Will offered gently. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”</p><p>“No, you’re right,” Derek murmured. “I just…” he trailed off, finally lifting his head and turning to look toward Will. “I want it to be you.” </p><p>He’d never said it before. Sometimes he would look at Will and Will knew what he was thinking, or sometimes Derek would press a kiss to the soft skin of Will’s wrist and he understood what that meant—but he’d never said it. </p><p>“Derek—”</p><p>“Come on, Will,” Derek urged, voice dropping as he turned, grabbing Will’s hands in his own. “Who are we kidding? I have no idea how I’m supposed to go back into the System after <em>this</em>.” </p><p>“We still have time,” Will said again. “Anything could happen.” </p><p>It wasn’t quite an admission that he wanted the same—for his Ultimate to be Derek—but close enough he hoped the other man could infer. They didn’t need to think about the end of this because they didn’t really know that it would be the end. </p><p>“You’re avoiding it,” Derek countered. Will pressed his lips together but didn’t answer, because he knew Derek was right. “Do you ever think about it?” he wondered. “What will happen when this ends?”</p><p>Will shook his head. “I can’t.” He and Derek still had weeks to go—and Will was serious. Anything could happen. They didn’t know what would trigger the Ultimate—it could still be them. </p><p>“You check the Expiry like you do,” Derek murmured. Will huffed and looked away again. “Just tell me,” Derek pushed quietly. “It hits zero. You’re still going to get on that Cart?” </p><p>He took another long breath and shook his head again, eyes elsewhere. “We have to.”</p><p>Derek released his hold on Will and sighed, nothing else to say for the night. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>17:00:36:21</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>As much as Derek was trying to enjoy every moment that found him in this Match with Will, the sadness started catching him off-guard more often than not. </p><p>Will had made it clear that when their Match ended, that was that. No fighting it. Back into the System they would go, parting ways, and Derek already couldn’t stand it. At times he’d be having a perfectly pleasant moment with Will only to immediately remember it wouldn’t last, and a chill would shoot down his spine. </p><p>It happened tonight, Derek accidentally knocking over a glass of wine after dinner which made Will laugh so hard he snorted, making Derek laugh too. Eventually they scrambled to get towels to clean up the mess and it was all so domestic and wonderful that Derek was greeted with a rush of warmth, so happy for every small second, and then—immediately sad. </p><p>He watched as Will tossed the ruined towels into the laundry basket and Derek’s easy smile faded. </p><p>He tried to fight it but Will noticed at once, turning back to him and moving in quickly. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” he asked, but Derek shook his head. He didn’t want to get into it again—it felt like the only thing they fought about. “Talk to me,” Will urged.</p><p>“I just remembered this is going to end again. Alright?” </p><p>Every time Derek reminded him that their Expiry was running down, Will froze. He did it now, eyes growing wide and dark like he couldn’t believe the thought of it was always so close to Derek’s mind. </p><p>“Derek…” Derek sighed deeply, looking elsewhere as he shook his head. “We still have so much time,” Will insisted, reaching for him. </p><p>Derek let himself be pulled close but shrugged a little, still not meeting Will’s eyes. “Not <em>that </em>much time,” Derek murmured. Will rested his hands on Derek’s hips and waited for him to say more, but Derek was tired of having this fight. “I think I’m gonna go for a walk, if that’s alright.”</p><p>Will startled. “What, now? Alone?” </p><p>Derek nodded slowly. “Is that alright?”</p><p>“Yeah, yes,” Will hurried. “Of course—gotta do what you gotta do.” </p><p>Derek nodded a little firmer then and smiled, but he was sure Will knew him well enough to know it wasn’t genuine. He drew Will toward him by his hands and lifted them slowly, pressing a soft kiss to his fingertips before gently dropping his hand. </p><p>“I won’t be out too late,” he promised. </p><p>“I can have a cookie ready for you whenever you get back,” Will said quietly. He kept trying to hold Derek’s gaze but he kept looking elsewhere, eyes downcast and away from Will’s. “If you want.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’d be nice.” He only met Will’s eyes once before hurrying out of the Pod, his fake smile still pinned to his face. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>The Pod was horribly quiet in Derek’s absence. </p><p>They’d spent some time apart this Match of course but it had never been painted with blue like it had just now as Derek hurried off. It was more like they’d planned for time apart during the day so they could return to each other in the evening. Derek would explore and Will would do chores. They would see separate movies just to talk about it. Always intentional, never so rushed, never so dark. </p><p>Will had Coach put on some music and he distracted himself in the kitchen, preparing dough for cinnamon rolls for the morning. </p><p>It wasn’t as though he was completely ignoring their impending Expiry—he wasn’t. But they’d only been Matched for a week at a time so many times that two weeks left still felt long to him. </p><p>Derek had been right when he’d said it before—that time worked differently here. Will knew it to be true, he just couldn’t be sure how. He was worried but it felt less urgent—like there wasn’t any reason to feel so upset so soon.</p><p>When Derek got back from his walk it was like nothing had changed from earlier. His smiles were the same kind of languid lovely smiles from that morning, his laughter flowed forth like the good wine he had spilled. He walked right for Will by the counter and wound his arms around his waist, tucking himself into his neck to deliver a soft kiss to the warm skin there. </p><p>“Smells delicious,” he murmured.</p><p>Will melted backwards into him just a little bit. “For breakfast tomorrow,” he told him. Derek hummed and Will could feel his smile. </p><p>“Cinnamon rolls?”</p><p>“Mm. We hadn’t had them in a while.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Derek sucked another wet kiss against his throat. “They’re my favorite.”</p><p>“I know.” Will drew back to look at him and found Derek’s eyes clear. “You had a nice walk?” </p><p>Derek even smiled now, warm, but Will had learned by now which smiles of Derek’s were real and fake. “Yeah,” he answered softly. “Just wanted to clear my head a little.” </p><p>Will nodded but his veins felt like they were full of ice. “We still have so much time,” he told him again. </p><p>Derek sighed, slinking away from Will in slow motion as he crossed the room and lowered himself into an empty chair at the table.</p><p>“It’s gonna fly by, baby. It already has. This’ll be over before we know it.” </p><p>Will squeezed his eyes shut and turned away. Sometimes he wished that Derek didn’t care so much—but at the same time Will knew how important it was to think about. </p><p>“I just can’t think about it yet,” Will whispered. </p><p>“That’s okay,” Derek soothed him. “I… can’t <em>not </em>think about it.” His voice was wracked with pain and Will opened his eyes to find Derek lowering his head into his hands. “I already miss you,” he rasped. “Thinking about going back into the System after this…” he trailed off weakly. “I don’t know how I’m gonna do it, okay? I just gotta figure it out some more.” Will opened his eyes as Derek whispered, “I’m sorry, I don’t want to ruin what time we still have.”</p><p>“No, shhh.” Will crossed the room and lowered himself down, crouching in front of Derek so he could grab his hands. “Stop. You haven’t ruined anything.” </p><p>Derek exhaled a shaky breath, his face still scrunched up in pain. “It doesn’t make sense to me,” he rasped. “This is so <em>good</em>.” Even as he said it Will felt his stomach twist with knots. He felt exactly the same as Derek. “Why does it have to end at all? What else do they want from us?” </p><p>Will shook his head, feeling his desperation swelling inside of him. “I don’t know,” he whispered back, voice cracking. </p><p>All of this had to mean something, right? <em>Everything happens for a reason, </em>Coach always said. Last Match, their short Match, Derek had said he felt like what they had was bigger than the System and Will still felt like it was true—but what if this really did end? What would actually happen when their Expiry ran out?</p><p>Will trusted Derek more than he trusted the System.</p><p>And Derek was afraid. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Will said quietly. “I haven’t been listening to you—about this Match ending…” he trailed off and Derek looked. Their eyes met and Will found that Derek’s had grown wet with tears. “It still doesn’t feel real for me. Like that’s going to happen.”  </p><p>“How does <em>anyone </em>go back into the System after finding something like this?” Derek murmured. Was he being facetious or did Derek seriously not realize it?</p><p>“I don’t know if a lot of people find something like this,” Will whispered slowly. “The months I’d been Matched with people it was never—I mean going back into the System was fine. This? Is so… so different, Derek.” </p><p>This was what Will imagined an Ultimate Match would feel like. </p><p>Trusted, respected, understood, equal. He and Derek communicated well and being with him felt like being at home and all Will wanted was to hold onto that for a little bit longer. </p><p>Will wanted his Ultimate Match to be Derek, too. </p><p>He knew Derek was right—that these last days would pass before them without either of them realizing just how fast they’d actually gone. Will was terrified to think about the end of this, secretly hoping that if he didn’t that it would just never come. </p><p>“What do we do?” Derek pleaded. “What can we do?” </p><p>Will wished that he had an answer. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>06:21:36:49</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“Will you cut my hair?”</p><p>Derek was surprised at the inquiry but happy to do it. “Of course,” he answered. </p><p>They found shears in a kitchen drawer they never opened and Will pulled out a stool, perching on it while Derek searched for a comb. The act of readying was done in silence, like both of them had something to say but instead were waiting for the other to speak first, until Derek first ran his hands through Will’s hair. </p><p>Will sighed. The weight of it could send Derek to the ground. More often than not these days, the things left unsaid were spoken the loudest. </p><p>“I like your hair with some length,” Derek finally told him. The ends of Will’s hairs had started curling out, just a little bit, and there was something about it that made him seem more at ease. </p><p>“Well don’t cut too much,” Will offered quietly. “Just a little.” </p><p>Normally by now they’d have Coach playing some music, but Derek avoided his at all costs and Will had been making more of an effort not to use his around Derek if he could. So the kitchen remained quiet other than the soft sound of the blades on the shears against the ends of Will’s hair. </p><p>This wasn’t the first time he’d done this. Derek had offered to cut Will’s hair a month or so into this, but there’d been more laughter then. Will teasing Derek that he was going to fuck it up, the air then humming with radiant energy and some music too. He hadn’t expected Will to ask him again—the Hub offered haircuts if they really wanted them, and with the trim it had been fine. </p><p>It was long enough that the shears were all they needed. Derek brushed his fingers through Will’s hair, tugging it gently here and there to compare length. Will’s eyes would follow him but any time Derek went to meet his gaze Will’s eyes had closed again. </p><p>“Okay,” Derek decided. “We can get the razor for your neck?”</p><p>Will reached up to feel behind him and shook his head. “No, that’s alright. Let me see.” Derek handed him the mirror while Will appraised himself, his smile growing as he lifted his fingers to brush at the sides. “Yeah, that’s perfect.” He lowered the mirror and reached for Derek to draw him closer for a kiss. “Thank you,” he murmured.</p><p>Derek lifted his hand to cradle Will’s cheek and drew him in for another. </p><p>He hadn’t checked himself, but because Will had Derek knew that they had less than a week together now. Less time than their first Match, already ticking down again. Will sighed into the kiss and parted his lips, allowing Derek’s tongue in to tease his. He wound his arms around Derek’s waist and they stood in the kitchen, tangled together, kissing like this wouldn’t be over soon.</p><p>Derek drew back and Will leaned in to chase him but he turned, shaking his head. </p><p>“Will,” Derek murmured. He had to say something before they ran out of time—he had to say something now. He looked back over and found Will’s eyes blown wide but he waited for Derek to speak. “I’m in love with you.” </p><p>He felt Will freeze then, his jaw growing tight with tension and his eyebrows furrowing, but he didn’t move away. “Derek…” </p><p>“You don’t have to say it back,” Derek hurried, keeping his voice low. “Or feel it. I don’t know if you…” he trailed off while Will’s eyes shut, closing as though he couldn’t stand the sight of him another second. </p><p>“We only have days,” Will whispered back. His voice was thick like speaking had grown difficult for him and he still wouldn’t look at Derek. “Why now?”</p><p>“Why <em>now</em>?” Derek echoed back. He exhaled a short laugh. “Will, I’ve loved you this entire time.” His eyes flew open in disbelief and Derek shrugged a little, nodding to say, “I knew sometime after the short one.”</p><p>“You never said—”</p><p>“What,” Derek interrupted, “should I have told you earlier?” Will finally turned away then, his face wracked with pain. Still, he didn’t leave the kitchen. He strode to a counter and rested against it, back toward Derek as he shook his head. “I’m sorry,” Derek eventually murmured. It felt like it was the right thing to say, even though he felt a little like his heart was breaking. </p><p>“No,” Will rasped. “I—want it to be you.” Derek’s heart swelled. Will would allude to it but he’d never said it before like this. For a moment Derek thought things were finally making sense again. “But…”</p><p>Derek moved, lowering himself into the stool that Will had been sitting in moments before with a sigh. “But?” he pushed. </p><p>Will hesitated, glancing over his shoulder. “Love?” </p><p>“I know how I feel,” Derek answered easily. “Seriously, Will,” he insisted. “I’m not asking you to say or <em>do</em> anything. I know the System’s worked differently for you. I just have to be honest.”</p><p>“Do you doubt how I feel about you?” Will returned fiercely, spinning so he could focus himself directly on Derek. He moved until he was right in front of him, Derek still a bit lower because he was sitting. “How strong this is?”</p><p>“<em>No</em>,” Derek promised. He reached for Will’s hands and pulled him just a little closer. </p><p>“I want it to be you,” Will said again. This time as he said it he was looking directly into Derek’s eyes, their hands laced together so they could keep each other near. Derek smiled then, nodding in acknowledgement. He knew that Will saying that was a big deal. </p><p>Will didn’t think love was meant to come until after the System.</p><p>He’d said it before, and Derek had never forgotten. Still, that wouldn’t stop Derek’s own heart from loving, and loving hard. </p><p>Will wanting Derek to be his Ultimate Match was close enough, it felt. Like if they had any real choice then they would leave here together.</p><p>“Yeah?” Derek asked. Will rolled his eyes a little but his cheeks grew pink like they always did when confronted so directly with conversations like these—addressing this relationship they had. </p><p>“Yeah,” Will answered quietly. </p><p>Derek stood and moved to kiss him again, his heart jumping at the feel of Will smiling into it. </p><p>They still had time. Anything could happen.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>03:08:11:03</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Will woke up to an unfamiliar noise.</p><p>He shifted in sleep to pull Derek closer and the other man sighed as he nuzzled in, clearly still more asleep than Will. The Pod was quiet and after squinting into the dark Will still couldn’t figure out the noise. He shifted again, pulling back slightly so he could crane his neck around the room. </p><p>Will was surprised to find the time on the bedside table read so late. He felt more awake at once, unsure how he’d slept in so late and why it was still so dark out, when he finally glanced out the window.</p><p>“It’s raining,” he rasped.</p><p>The sound that Will had heard was the soft pitter-patter of raindrops against the glass and on the roof. Nothing extreme, no powerful winds, but the rain was steady. </p><p>“Derek,” he said a touch louder. “Der, hey. It’s raining.” Derek grunted in response. “Derek,” he said again.</p><p>“What? Mmf.”</p><p>“Baby, it’s raining.” </p><p>Derek’s eyes snapped open. “What?” he asked again. He pushed himself to sit up and turned to face the window quickly. “It’s—?” He was so shocked he nearly fell out of bed, scrambling to get to the window. Will laughed as Derek’s feet got tangled in the sheets but joined him by the window, throwing the blankets off of him before rushing over. </p><p>Will watched Derek lift his hand to the glass, pressing his palm against it as he stared outside. He wasn’t sure if he was more fascinated by the awe on Derek’s face or the weather outside but Will kept his gaze focused on Derek. </p><p>“Do you think it’s real?” Derek asked.</p><p>Will startled. “What? Of course.” He glanced out the window, confused. “What do you mean?” </p><p>“Like the trees,” he whispered quietly. </p><p>Will considered this. He looked back to Derek before looking outside again and reaching for his hand. “Let’s find out,” Will said. </p><p>Derek’s eyes widened again as Will started dragging him away from the window, toward the door of their Pod, and once he realized what Will was suggesting he nodded at once. Together they hurried outside, throwing open the front door and sprinting into the rain to see if they could feel it against their skin.</p><p>Will was overwhelmed by the scent of it immediately. Everything around him smelled alive, like earth, wet dirt and the promise of a hearty spring. He closed his eyes and inhaled, every drop on his face surprising him less than the last. </p><p>Beside him Derek did the same, closing his eyes and breathing it in. Will opened his eyes just in time to see Derek smile, the way it found his face so beautiful—bigger and more genuine than anything Will had seen as of late. His eyes flew open and he laughed. </p><p>“It’s raining!” Derek shouted with a grin. He laughed, extending his hands outward and spinning in a circle, cheering loudly as he went. The raindrops were heavy and cold and as they soaked the both of them Will didn’t even shiver, warmed by the sight of Derek radiating joy. </p><p>They weren’t the only two outside. Though other Pods had distance from their own, Will could see groups of people springing up outside here and there from afar. In a place where anything out of the ordinary drew attention, he was unsurprised so many people had gone outside to feel it. </p><p>Eventually the cold really did set in though, chilling both of them to their bones. Derek could run around outside all day but Will was hungry and wanted to shower so he slowly guided Derek back toward their Pod.</p><p>“I don’t want you getting sick,” Will noted as they stepped back inside. They decided on a hot shower together before making some breakfast. They only had a few more days together and thinking about Derek spending them in bed with a cold brought Will an insane amount of stress. </p><p>In the shower, Derek was all kisses and smiles. He crowded Will against the back wall and they warmed themselves in more ways than one, Derek’s hands wandering without thought. </p><p>“I love you,” Derek murmured into Will’s neck. If the water weren’t already so hot he knew he would’ve grown flush at Derek’s words. He’d started saying it more since Will’s haircut and every time he did it made Will’s chest constrict with feelings he didn’t even know how to begin naming. Warmth and fear and want and desire all bound into one. “Can we have pancakes for breakfast?”</p><p>They could do whatever Derek wanted. </p><p>Sometime later, in the kitchen making pancakes, Derek sat gazing out the window while Will readied the stove. </p><p>“We’ve been here for how long?” Derek wondered aimlessly. “And never once—not even once! Has it rained.” His gaze couldn’t be pulled from the window, like even the sight of the rain was a blessing here. “What do you think it means?” </p><p>Will flipped the pancake and shook his head a little bit, casting a quick glance toward the window himself. “I don’t know,” he admitted. What was it Derek had said—maybe it would rain if they broke the rules? “Did we do something wrong?” </p><p>Derek chuckled. “Yes. You and I did something so wrong specifically that it’s making it rain in the entire System.” </p><p>Will smiled at the thought. </p><p>What had started off just as a small pitter-patter had grown into a full blown thunderstorm. That night after a cozy day indoors with movies and puzzles, Will and Derek sat on the porch to watch as the sky lit up with lightning. </p><p>One day, different from the rest. But every day with Derek was a new and wonderful one, Will thought. They’d done hundreds of puzzles and Will would never bore of them—because he’d found the right person to do them with. He’d cooked hundreds of meals and would cook hundreds more, even if they were the same, and it would always be perfect. It didn’t matter if it rained, or that when it rained, it poured. </p><p>Will wanted every day with Derek because he knew no matter what, it would be wonderful.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>Despite the rain carrying on well into the night, the sound of it soothing against the roof, Derek couldn’t sleep. </p><p>“Derek,” Will whispered. “Are you awake?”</p><p>“Mm.” </p><p>He’d been teetering on the verge of sleep for a long time but hadn’t been able to actually succumb to it yet, choosing instead to focus on the soft sound of Will’s breathing, to savor the last bit of time they could share. Every night grew harder than the last, and the fact that they were really down to days now was making it nearly impossible.</p><p>Derek opened his eyes to find Will looking at him very seriously. His eyebrows were drawn together and his mouth was curved into a small frown. Derek felt more awake at once, sitting up slightly so he could be closer to Will.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” he asked.</p><p>Will shook his head to answer. “No, nothing.” </p><p>Derek let his eyes drift shut again while he reached out, winding his arm around Will’s waist. “I’m here,” he promised. For as long as he could be, he’d be here.</p><p>Will was quiet again for a long time—so long that Derek was convinced maybe he’d fallen asleep—before he whispered, “Let’s just stay here.”</p><p>Derek’s eyes snapped open again, more alert than any time before. “Will?”</p><p>“If the Expiry passes,” he carried on quietly. Like maybe if he whispered it that Coach wouldn’t hear him. “We should just... stay.” </p><p>Derek searched his gaze looking for an ounce of doubt but he couldn’t find any, just steady sureness. </p><p>“What happened to everything ending?” Derek whispered, echoing Will's words to him from one of their previous Matches. </p><p>Will shook his head, his eyes growing dark and serious as he said, “Not this. Not this time.” Derek thought he might cry. He drew Will in for a kiss but didn’t move too far once they parted, almost scared to look him in the eyes again. </p><p>“You’re serious?” Derek whispered. </p><p>Will’s nod was so small Derek could barely register it. </p><p>“I can’t do it again,” Will rasped. “I can’t be apart from you and not know if I’ll ever—” he broke off, unable to even finish the thought.</p><p>“I know,” Derek soothed. He’d tried his hardest to focus on the moment and not think about their upcoming Expiry but it lingered in the back of his mind constantly. “Thinking they might not Match us again…” he trailed off as Will’s eyes snapped shut. “I <em>know</em>,” he said again. Derek cupped Will’s cheek and even with his eyes closed, he leaned into it. “Of course I’ll stay,” he whispered. </p><p>It was what he wanted this whole time— to stay with Will; for Will to stay with him. </p><p>He might not be able to echo Derek’s words, <em>I love you, </em>but this would carry more weight than those three little words ever could no matter how badly Derek wanted to hear it. </p><p>With his eyes still shut Will choked out, “It’s crazy.”</p><p>Derek shook his head. “So?” He pulled away and sat up suddenly, startling Will enough to open his eyes. He watched as Derek folded his legs, crossed beneath him, and put noticeable distance between them. Derek needed space until he could get a proper answer to his question. “Are you being serious?” Derek asked slowly. “Or just dreaming?” </p><p>Will blinked a few times, slowly pushing himself to sit up too. “I’m being serious,” he answered quietly. </p><p>“You know how I feel, Will,” Derek said firmly. “If you’re not serious—”</p><p>“I’m being serious,” Will said again. He reached out for Derek until they could tangle their hands together, and then Will squeezed. “I’d never say something like this if I wasn’t,” he insisted. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not…!” he laughed a little, strangled. “Derek. What wou—what will happen?” </p><p>Derek reached for him once seeing the fear on his face. This was real—they were talking about this. </p><p>No, they were doing this. </p><p>“Maybe we’ll just get… kicked out.” </p><p>Failure to comply with the System results in Expulsion from the System.</p><p>“And get sent <em>where</em>?” Will rasped. He squeezed his eyes shut while Derek shifted to get closer to him. “It’s like I can’t—it’s <em>right there</em>… what’s After… but I can’t…” </p><p>Derek sighed too, knowing the frustration that Will felt. It was the same for him—like some sort of block had kept him from knowing this piece of things. How it would end. What came next. It was always just <em>trusting the System</em>. </p><p>No faces, no names. No person in charge. How do you challenge something like that? How do you change it?</p><p>“I don’t know,” Derek said. Hope finally outweighed fear—he felt more sure of this than he had anything else, in such a long time. “But we’ll do it together.” </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>Will checked Coach first thing the following morning. </p><p>He couldn’t help himself. Will was desperate for Coach to tell him something new, for something to change now that he and Derek had traded hopeful whispers the night before.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>02:10:47:48</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Nothing. </p><p>Two nights left before their expiry would arrive and Will was already anxious about it. </p><p>He left Coach on his bedside table before going to start breakfast, letting Derek sleep for just a little longer. While the coffee machine roared to life, Will stayed frozen in place, arms wound around himself as he slowly watched the pot fill. </p><p>As much as he was afraid what the next few days would bring, he also wasn’t. He knew how he felt about Derek and even just the idea of saying goodbye to him was more painful than whatever challenges they’d have to face to stay together. </p><p>Derek loved him. And Will… couldn’t say it back, but… </p><p>He tightened his arms around himself and sighed, shaking his head a little bit. </p><p>Will didn’t know what being in love meant—what it felt like. He didn’t think he’d ever been in love before, certainly never in the System but he didn’t think outside of it either. Telling Derek he loved him before the System told Will who his Ultimate would be felt terrifying. Loving someone who he wouldn’t be allowed to keep—letting down whoever his Ultimate Match would end up being because Will had gone rogue. </p><p>Outside, it was still raining. </p><p>Will liked a rainy day here and there, but he hoped the rest of their Match wasn’t like this. It was too similar to his mood, the gray outside identical to the static of fear inside of him. </p><p>When Derek climbed out of bed a couple of hours later, striding right for Will for his usual morning kiss, everything inside of him calmed. </p><p>“Good morning,” Derek greeted sleepily. “I can’t believe it’s still raining.” </p><p>Will kissed Derek another time, grateful he could do it at all. Ultimate Match or not, he knew he was doing the right thing in staying with Derek if their Expiry rolled down to zero. </p><p>Derek was worth it. They would figure out the rest.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>The feeling that normally came with a final day of Matching with Will was regret. </p><p>The first few times it had been—why couldn’t they do this right? Then later—why didn’t Derek kiss him? And even still—why did it have to end?</p><p>But they were on the couch of their Pod now, both of their Coach devices on the table in front of them as the Expiry drew evermore near, and he wasn’t feeling an ounce of regret at all. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>“I’m afraid,” Derek murmured, and Will could feel it in his body. They sat side by side and held one another’s hands, a view of the window could show them their Carts that had rolled to a stop, waiting. “Are you sure you want to stay?”</p><p>The confusion hit Will like a cool gust of wind, sending him off balance. “What do you mean?” Will asked. “Yes, Derek, I’m sure.” He knew he waited a long time to make it known, but Will was certain. If the Expiry wouldn’t change, he wouldn’t leave Derek’s side. “Are you?” Despite holding tightly to Will’s hand, Derek wouldn’t look at him. His eyes were out the window, on the Carts, blown wide and worried. “Say something,” Will urged.</p><p>“I’m all talk,” Derek blabbed immediately, voice high. “Breaking rules—running away—I mean,” finally he looked over to Will, eyes still horribly scared. “I mean it when I say I love you,” he whispered. Will drew him just a touch closer, nodding to keep him talking, to agree. “How do you do it?” </p><p>Will didn’t understand. “Do what?” </p><p>“You kissed me first,” Derek said. “And—when we ignored the Expiry that first night, that was because of you, I’m just—not as brave as you are, Will. Wanting it isn’t always enough.” </p><p>Will shook his head, desperate for Derek to understand him as he said, “It’s different. Derek, you’re incredibly brave. I mean I could never…” he can’t even voice it now. </p><p>Defying the entire System for him but Will can’t tell Derek he loves him. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>00:00:00:00</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Their devices lit up at the same time, two Coaches speaking in unison.</p><p>“<em>Match Expired. Report to Cart immediately for Return.” </em></p><p>Derek and Will traded a look. Without words, they’d both agreed not to speak. </p><p>The numbers flashed again and Will felt like he could be sick. The silence in their Pod was deafening. It felt like even Derek was holding his breath. Will looked over to him again, away from their discs, and waited. </p><p>He and Derek looked at each other and Will searched for the fear that had been evident in his voice but Derek remained strong, staying in his seat and nodding at Will as though he was promising he wasn’t going anywhere. </p><p>Always easier to break the rules with someone you love.</p><p>After half an hour, the Carts drove away. Both Coach devices still read the same thing, a big empty <em>zero</em> indicating the end of the Match. Will was expecting the screen to revert back to neutral, to ready them for another upcoming Match, but nothing had happened yet.</p><p>“Coach?” Will spoke first.</p><p>The screen didn’t change. Will glanced over to Derek, who shrugged but still didn’t speak. </p><p>“Should something be happening?” Will asked quietly.</p><p>Derek shrugged again. “Literally no clue.” </p><p>The Carts gone, Coach frozen at zero, they decided to bury their devices in the back of the closet— close enough that they could still access them if they needed to but far enough that it felt safe for them to be. </p><p>“Bye Coach,” Derek said as they shut the box. </p><p>Coach did not respond. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>“I’m scared to sleep.”</p><p>Will sighed. “Me too.”</p><p>In the dark, the silence felt loud. “Will they send someone for us?” Derek asked.</p><p>When he shook his head, Will’s nose brushed Derek’s. “Who would they send?” People with guns, maybe. People to lock them away or separate them for good. Will couldn’t stand the thought of it, so he decided no one would come at all. “If they do we can always… run to the Wall.”</p><p>“Mmm… you’re so romantic,” Derek hummed.</p><p>“No I’m not.”</p><p>“Shhhh, yes you are.” Will could feel him smile even though he couldn’t see it in the dark. “So we’ll climb the Wall and go from there?” Derek pushed, his voice only teasing a little bit. “Banished together in the Unknown?”</p><p>“Don’t be so dramatic, Derek.” Still, Derek chuckled, syrupy and warm and enough to ease away some of the fear that had started wrapping around Will’s heart. “What should we do tomorrow?” he asked.</p><p>“Mm, I love you,” Derek murmured. All slurred together, sleepy and wonderful. <em>Mmmmiloveyou. </em>“We can do whatever you want.” </p><p><em>Say it back</em>, Will thought. <em>I love you too</em>. Instead he pressed forward for a kiss. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>In the morning Derek felt like he'd cheated death. </p><p>Will was still in bed beside him. They were still in their Pod. <em>Their</em> Pod, with their plants and their books and their things. He climbed out of bed before Will even wake just to check and—yes, the fridge was still stocked too. </p><p>It had been raining for days but today of all days the sky had cleared and the sun was finally making a return appearance. Everything outside felt lush and green and the golden light coming in through the windows made Derek feel warm.</p><p>Derek rushed back and climbed into bed beside Will again, nuzzling as close as he could without waking him up but of course waking him up in the process. “S’okay?” Will rasped. </p><p>“It’s great,” Derek answered, totally giving up on trying to be careful. He wrapped Will in his arms and felt his entire chest drop into his stomach as Will smiled, sleepy, tugging Derek into his arms too. “Everything’s so good.”</p><p>Caught up in the excitement of the moment, Derek pinned Will beneath him and dipped down for a kiss. “Mff—Der,” Will laughed, “let me wake up.” </p><p>Derek rolled off of him with a grin, but the silence that followed wasn’t the comforting kind. When he finally looked back over to Will, slowly sitting up in bed, Derek was surprised to find the other man wearing a frown that looked less joyful than anticipated. </p><p>“Why do you look upset?” Derek rushed, his own heart seizing. </p><p>“I thought maybe…” Will started but stopped shaking his head. He looked away, his eyes welling with tears. “It’s stupid. I thought maybe it would tell us…” </p><p>No, it wasn’t stupid. Derek knew exactly what Will was saying. </p><p>“You thought staying behind would make it go off for Ultimate,” Derek clarified softly. Will’s eyebrows furrowed together and he looked down, nodding his head weakly. “Hey, me too,” Derek admitted sadly. His voice was thick with it. </p><p>“Really?” Will rasped. </p><p>“I always think—maybe now… maybe this will make it go off, and then we get here, and…” Derek exhaled. Will telling Derek he wanted to defy the rules of the System to stay together was no exception. He’d put stock into those moments too, waiting for the end of the countdown to see if Coach would light up just like everyone else said it would. “Yeah, of course, Will.”</p><p>Will blinked away tears, one falling before he could reach up to swat it away. “I want it to be us,” he whispered. Derek reached up to wipe another falling tear with his thumb, Will leaning into his hand. “Why can’t it be us?” </p><p>But it wasn’t them. The System had made that abundantly clear. </p><p>“We just… keep going,” Derek promised quietly. “We keep faith in one another and we keep going and see where it takes us.”  </p><p>Will took another deep breath, finally fighting off tears, and nodded firmly. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.”</p><p>Derek lowered his hand so he could grab both of Will’s again. He hated that the worry even bubbled up inside him, but once it had he had to ask. “Do you regret—”</p><p>“<em>No</em>,” Will interrupted him at once. “No regrets, Derek. Like you said. We just keep going and see where it takes us.” He lowered his forehead to Derek’s gently, closing his eyes to whisper, “Me and you.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Derek whispered back. “Thank you.” </p><p>Will softly brushed his lips over Derek’s. </p><p>It felt so, so good to still be together. The fact that they didn’t have a device for Will to constantly be checking—no timeline to follow—it made Derek feel free again. Whatever happened next, they would figure it out. </p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>It took them another few days to gain the courage to actually leave their Pod. </p><p>Derek wanted to explore earlier, he had a wandering soul that wanted him outside, under the fake trees and the too-blue-again sky, but Will had been too afraid. Even when Derek mentioned he could go himself and Will could hold down the fort, Will objected. </p><p>“I don’t want to split up yet,” Will admitted quietly. </p><p>There hadn’t been any indication that something would happen to them if they didn’t stick together but Will wasn’t ready to let Derek out of his sight. There were still too many unknowns and he didn’t want to risk it.</p><p>Still, Derek had started going a little stir crazy. He never pushed but it was clear by the way he spent time in their garden plot in the back that he was ready to be outside again. </p><p>So they made a plan. They packed a picnic and decided to spend an afternoon out. </p><p>“You think they can get rid of an entire Pod in an hour?” Derek teased.</p><p>“This is uncharted territory,” Will said back, tight. </p><p>Derek eased up a little, reaching for Will’s hand. “I know. I’m sorry.” Will exhaled then, letting himself be pulled to a stop. “We’re still here,” Derek soothed him while Will’s eyes eased shut. “We’re still together. They can’t take that from us.” </p><p>Will laced their fingers together and drew Derek’s hand up, kissing his knuckles, and then they planned a walk.</p><p>Nothing too far. Just to the lake. </p><p>As soon as they were outside the anxiety that had wound around Will’s heart eased up. Derek had been right every time he’d said the sun on their faces would feel good. The air was fresh and all the greenery was grounding and Will felt less afraid than he had in a few days, slowly walking by Derek’s side. </p><p>Sitting by the lake again was familiar and with the sun shining it was easier to remember all of the good things they still had. Reflex made Will often search for his Coach but as soon as he remembered they’d hidden them away he’d try and make himself more present. </p><p>“Should we talk about… what happens next?” Will asked.</p><p>Derek sighed dramatically, throwing himself across Will’s lap. “What’s there to talk about?” he asked. “We stay here. We keep doing this.”</p><p>“We just keep waiting?” Will wondered.</p><p>Derek settled down with his head in Will’s lap, looking up at him with a pinched frown. “Not forever,” he said quietly. “I don’t know. I feel like… <em>something </em>has to happen next. Right?” </p><p>“But when?” Will asked. </p><p>It had already been a week since their Match had expired and… nothing. Not that Will was complaining, because he wasn’t, but he didn’t do well with uncertainty. He agreed with Derek that he figured something had to happen next, but he thought it would’ve been a while ago. Like right after they ignored the Expiry. </p><p>Derek sighed again, softer. “I don’t know. Are you worried?”</p><p>Will had been getting better with speaking about his feelings, but he still couldn’t look at Derek as he spoke. “Not worried, really. Just… confused? I like what we have,” he added, looking back down to Derek. “But it’s not all there is.” </p><p>Derek’s eyes widened a little at that and he moved to sit up. “I know that,” he said. “We don’t <em>do </em>anything here, Will, of course I know that.” </p><p>There were people outside of this System that mattered to Will—a job that he liked, a place that he lived. Details he still couldn’t uncover, but he knew it was important not to forget that there was an <em>After </em>to all of this. </p><p>Will just thought something would have been triggered by now. Another event. The limbo was a surprise.</p><p>“We could climb the wall,” Derek offered. “See what happens.”</p><p>Will snorted. “Not happening.” Derek’s smile grew. “Do you think we broke it?” he wondered. “The System.”</p><p>“No way,” Derek answered immediately. “There’s absolutely <em>no</em> way we’re the first two people to ignore what the System wants.”</p><p>“So…” Will trailed off, thinking. “It’s waiting for something.” </p><p>Derek turned so he could push himself up and steal a quick kiss. “Don’t think about it too much,” he murmured. “Okay?” Then, in a little sing-song voice to mock Coach, “<em>Everything happens for a reason</em>.” </p><p>Will startled. “Yeah,” he agreed, feeling himself find peace almost at once. “Maybe it does.”</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>That night, a new calm found Will. Something so altering that he found himself able to breathe easily for the first time since they’d skipped their Expiry.</p><p>Coach had said that the entire time—that everything happened for a reason. So the System not melting down or kicking them out—that was happening for a reason. Knowing that, feeling less like he’d done something wrong and more like he’d realized a truth meant to be kept hidden, Will was less afraid. </p><p>They arrived back at their Pod and Derek started unloading the picnic basket, asking Will if maybe they should consider a bath tonight, when Will knew in his heart what he had to do. </p><p>What had to happen next. </p><p>“Derek.”</p><p>“A shower would be okay too,” Derek concluded, shrugging a little. “Just feels like a while since we indulged in a bath together. Maybe tomorrow if not—?”</p><p>“Derek,” Will interrupted gently. “Either is fine.” </p><p>“Well then bath it is,” Derek said with a grin. He finally met Will’s gaze, realizing something was different. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“No.” Will shook his head, slowly stepping toward him. “I love you.” </p><p>Derek lit up and dropped what he was doing, crossing the room faster than Will was making his way forward to gather him in his hands. He cradled Will’s cheeks gently and drew him in without even a moment of hesitation to kiss him. They inhaled together, exhaling as they parted but Derek stay near enough that Will could feel his smile against his lips. </p><p>“Say it again,” Derek whispered. </p><p>“I love you,” Will told him. Derek kissed him again, his smile taking over which only made Will smile too. “Did you miss when I ignored the whole Expiry for you?” Will exhaled between them, breathless that Derek’s joy could make him feel so complete himself.</p><p>“No,” Derek laughed. “Not at all! But to hear you say it…” </p><p>They both leaned in again and Will laughed too, almost too caught up in the moment that he didn’t hear it—behind everything was a muted, light ringing sound. It felt familiar, like Will had heard it before, but at the same time he was absolutely sure he hadn’t. </p><p>“Do you hear that?” Will asked, drawing back suddenly.</p><p>Derek’s smile faded as he paused. “What?” He turned as though checking the stove. “Hear what?”</p><p>“That sound. Like…” his heart started to race, “a bell.” </p><p>Derek drew back too, eyebrows furrowing as he scanned the Pod to try and hear what Will had pointed out. It took a moment but his face shifted once he had and Derek nodded to confirm. </p><p>“What is that?” he asked. </p><p>Once they’d both identified it the sound seemed to get louder. </p><p>Derek seized suddenly, gripping Will’s shirt as he realized why Will found it to be so urgent. “It’s ringing,” he rasped. “You said—Justin said it rings for the Ultimate.” </p><p>Will nodded a little bit and Derek was moving at once. “Derek?” Will raced after him through the Pod, to their room where the noise grew louder still—even more so as he slid open their closet door. “You’re getting—”</p><p>“It’s Coach,” Derek said, turning to look over his shoulder. “It has to be—!” Will caught his hand and stopped him before he could reach the box, tugging Derek back around to look at him. “Will?” </p><p>“Wait, just—wait,” Will rushed, pulling Derek toward him. The sound was louder than it had been now but the longer Will listened, the more comfort it brought. “What if I’m not ready?” he rasped. </p><p>“You are,” Derek urged. “It’s us,” he whispered. “It has to be. It wouldn’t go off if you weren’t ready.” He shook his head a little bit and closed his eyes to add, “I only want it if it’s you. I know it’s you.” </p><p><em>Everything happens for a reason</em>, Coach had said, and Will didn’t think it was fair that all of this had amounted to a giant riddle. </p><p>“How are you sure?” Will whispered back.</p><p>“Because I love you,” Derek told him. “And you love me.” </p><p>Will’s eyes flooded with tears. He gave Derek one more kiss before letting him go, off to grab the small devices from the farther corner they could hide them in. As Derek brought them out, both of their discs glowing, the ringing only grew louder. He passed one to Will and the second both of them had one in their hands the noise stopped. </p><p>“<em>Ultimate Match found</em>.” </p><p>They both crumbled to the floor, clinging to one another as the words washed over them. They looked toward one another and Derek’s eyes were full of tears, wide and hopeful as a smile found his face.</p><p>“<em>Would you like to confirm this Ultimate Match?” </em></p><p>Will and Derek shared another glance. It was clear by the look on Derek’s face that he too was surprised they had an option at the end of it. </p><p>“Yes,” Derek whispered. “Right?”</p><p>“Yes,” Will confirmed, more sure. </p><p>“<em>Ultimate Match confirmed.” </em></p><p>From then, a blinding white light shot out from Coach and surrounded the both of them. If it weren’t for the way Will was gripping Derek’s hand, he’d have no way of knowing if the other man was even still there. </p><p>And then he wasn’t.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>When Will opened his eyes, he felt more solid than he had in a very long time. </p><p>All of his limbs were heavy and aching. He turned his head slightly to the side as he blinked his eyes open, the memory of Coach and its blinding light returning to him at once. It took a moment for his vision to return to him and when it did it was as though he had opened his eyes underwater—everything blurry and swimming before him. </p><p>“<em>Welcome back, Will.” </em></p><p>It was Coach’s voice. </p><p>Will blinked again, trying to right his vision. “Where’s Derek?” he rasped. His throat felt thick—like he hadn’t actually spoken in a very long time. </p><p>“<em>You are currently in Transition. Please allow yourself upwards of one hour to readjust to life outside of the System and for your full memory to return.” </em></p><p>“Where’s Derek?” Will asked again, pushing himself to sit up. The room he was in was small, just large enough for his own bed, really. It felt familiar but he couldn’t figure out why. “Full memory?” </p><p>“<em>A Transition Agent will be joining you shortly to complete the rest of the experience with you and unite you with your Ultimate Match. Thank you for choosing the System as your preferred Matching experience.” </em></p><p>Before he could ask anything else the door to his room opened and in walked a woman that Will vaguely recognized, but again couldn’t be sure how.</p><p>“Hi Will,” she said, striding right for him. “Remember me?”</p><p>Her name tag read <em>Denise</em>. </p><p>“No.” She smiled and Will found himself incredibly comforted by it. “You’re the Transition Agent that Coach mentioned?” </p><p>“I am,” she said with a nod. Denise opened a cabinet on one side of the room and pulled out a small medical kit. “We’ve actually met before,” she explained. She wheeled over a small stool and sat by Will’s bed as she unpacked the kit. “I’m just going to check some of your vitals now, okay? A month in the System takes a lot out of a person.”</p><p>“A month?” Will responded. Even though he couldn’t say how he knew this person now, there was a part of him that trusted her. “No, I was there for—” he stopped speaking as she reached forward, detaching a small round disc from the side of his head by his temple, and then another on the other side. </p><p>“Only one month,” she confirmed with a nod. “We met at the start of it to make sure your System experience was appropriately tailored for you. I performed the original personality test.” She was saying words that Will understood separately, but together like this only had him confused. “I know I must not be making much sense,” she agreed, basically reading his thoughts, “but I promise as the haze wears off you will become fully aware once more.” </p><p>In a lot of ways, Will was grateful there was a real human here to speak with instead of the all knowing voice of Coach, but it also made him a little more nervous.</p><p>“My… Ultimate Match,” he eventually prompted.</p><p>“Derek is in a nearby Transition room,” Denise answered without even a moment’s hesitation. “Going through the same thing you are. Can you follow the light?” She clicked on a small light and moved it in front of his face to make sure his eyes could trace it. “Good, good.” She clicked it off. “And can you take a deep breath in for me?” </p><p>She checked a few more of his vitals before slowly helping him to the edge of the bed so he could stand. </p><p>“Your body’s been in a hyperstate for some time now,” she explained as Will struggled to regain his balance. </p><p>The more she spoke about the tech, the more he understood it—the more he could recall it from before. He’d heard these same spiels from before he’d entered the System—before Denise had interviewed him on what he was looking for—before he’d entered the Hub, the <em>real </em>Hub, and joined the System of his own free will.</p><p>Things came back to him like a slow rain, first insignificant but then louder, rushing in, all at once. The Hub—the System—all of it was designed exactly as it had been described to him, as Will had been told it would be. </p><p>But part of the System was forgetting what he’d agreed to once he was in it. The stakes needed to feel real. </p><p>Fuck, it did feel real.</p><p>Blocking his memory, making him forgetful and unable to understand the tech, that was all in the agreement. He’d agreed to being put in a hyperstate, his consciousness in another reality as he slept. He’d agreed to forget the mechanics of it all. Will wanted exactly what the System had provided—an all-consuming experience that would find him love.</p><p>Finally alone in the bathroom provided for him, Will showered and wept, trying to process whatever emotions were rolling through him like a freight train. </p><p>He could recall conversations from the beginning of this with Denise, having her coach him through the early steps of actually signing up and trusting what the System would do. Will had started all of this hesitant, unsure that he was ready for a <em>partner</em>. That was what the System was promising. But she had convinced him that going through the System would change him—that it would do what it was supposed to, wait until he was ready, guide him on that journey—and eventually he decided to join. She was his original Coach. </p><p>After what felt like the longest shower of his life, Will exited his the bathroom to find Denise waiting for him. She would walk him to the Greeting Room, where Will and Derek would meet in person for the first time. </p><p>Will wondered if it would be any different. If it would feel any different.</p><p> </p><p>✦ ✦ ✦</p><p> </p><p>A month in a hyperstate for a lifetime of love—a riddle and a game and an adventure to see if it was worth it, and Derek thought, <em>yes, maybe it is</em>. </p><p>He was on his way to see Will now and his heart was racing. His Transition had been met with the customary anxiety attack and supplementary sobbing as he found himself awake once more. </p><p>But he did feel awake, really awake. As his memory returned to him of his time in the System it all came through a lens of fog, tricky to see completely. But the feelings that came with the memories were sharp, more vivid than anything else, and he wanted to see Will more than he could stand it.</p><p>He arrived in the Greeting Room first and his transition agent lingered by the door. It was only moments later did Will arrive, moving as though his feet weren’t letting him hurry as fast as he wanted, but frozen the moment he stepped through the door. </p><p>Will was radiant. </p><p>He had a million freckles that could rival the stars in the sky and his fiery red hair was more vivid than Derek had realized. His smile when he saw Derek was almost unsure but his honey golden eyes shone brightly, and there wasn’t an ounce of doubt for Derek to hold onto. </p><p>They rushed for one another and Derek laughed and they held one another in silence for a few moments, a wheel of emotions spinning in Derek and unable to land on anything definitive. Joy, relief, hope, awe. </p><p><em>Love</em>. </p><p>Derek pressed his forehead to Will’s and exhaled softly, closing his eyes in disbelief. </p><p>“Hi,” he finally said.</p><p>“Hi,” Derek responded at once. They had so much to talk about. “They did say it would only take a few weeks,” he offered as a starting point. </p><p>Will drew him in with another laugh, kissing him right there in the middle of the Greeting Room—in front of their Transition Agents—a whole lifetime already lived between them despite never having even touched one another until this very moment. </p><p>Another one to live the moment they walked out of these doors together.</p><p>"I love you," Will said as he drew back. He nodded as he said it, words quiet to be shared with only Derek, and Derek nodded too. "Worth it," he whispered. "All of it worth it." </p><p>"I'd do it again," Derek agreed just as quick. "I love you too, Will." </p><p>With the System behind them, Derek would still choose Will again and again and again, every day another chance to act with love. Every day another chance to be with Will, and do the things they hadn't gotten to before. Every day another opportunity to be together—so long as that was what they wanted.</p><p>And they did.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>one of my problems with the hang the dj episode is (i guess depending on how you interpret it) that the tech has no real influence on the people! they have a 99.8% match or whatever but they are completely separate from the dating app thing!! so in my version they actually remember it all, are in hyperstate mode, and then can exit the system with their partner and ultimate match instead. what do you think? would you do it? (if this is the norm in this future tech world, how do you think it influences society?!?!) lots of fun to think about and write.</p><p>leave some love if you can!! you can find me on twitter/tumblr @jennybeantime. thanks for reading!! &lt;3</p>
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